Is It Wise For A Woman To Give Her Husband Part Of Her Monthly Salary? - Family (9) - Nairaland
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| Re: Is It Wise For A Woman To Give Her Husband Part Of Her Monthly Salary? by bukatyne(f): 2:18pm On Oct 28, 2015 |
tearoses: I do not think the major reason women are reluctant to drop their paycheck is because they married an indecent person... It is because in their marriage there are roles which they have rigidly set i.e. man = provider and wife = housekeeper. In our society, the headship of a husband is also tied up to finance so he is expected to step up and be a man. Ask these guys talking here how many of them will help with chores. 2 Likes |
| Re: Is It Wise For A Woman To Give Her Husband Part Of Her Monthly Salary? by bukatyne(f): 2:19pm On Oct 28, 2015 |
MayorBusky: What ended it? |
| Re: Is It Wise For A Woman To Give Her Husband Part Of Her Monthly Salary? by edwife(f): 2:34pm On Oct 28, 2015 |
tearoses: Well said. |
| Re: Is It Wise For A Woman To Give Her Husband Part Of Her Monthly Salary? by GRACEGLORY: 2:41am On Oct 29, 2015 |
Janix2: If truly you need an honest answer, here it is from Scriptures: Gen 2:18 And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him Help him In and Out of the House One of the first ways she helps him is around the house. Proverbs 31:13-14, “Gathering wool and flax, she makes it serviceable with her hands. She is like a ship trading from a distance: so she procures her livelihood.” Proverbs 31:16, “She views a farm and buys it: and with the fruits of her hands she plants a possession.” Proverbs 31:24, “She makes fine linens, and sells girdles…” There is a warped view among some "Christians" that if you're a Christian woman you sit home and throw your college education in the garbage. That there is no productivity, no skill. But the Proverbs 31 woman is one who is skilled, she saves money, uses money, and spends money wisely. But she's doing this to the good of her husband. This is not like modern women who are building their own career with their own money with their own bank account and they write their own checks. That's not the godly woman. Because a godly woman, while she uses those skills, always brings it back home for the embellishment of the home and the enhancement of her husband. There is no monetary competition. And if you love your career so much that your husband is never benefiting from the career that you love, then you're not a godly wife. You bought the lie that you're your own woman, you do your own thing, and that man is your inconvenience. That is a lie! The feminism movement is born from satanic rebellion against the Holy God. But because many women have established their own bank accounts, and spend their own money for their own agenda, and the good of the husband is nowhere to be found, then the blessings of God will not rest on your life or be in your household. Your godly home will become a godless home. When you begin to live your married life with no thought of the betterment of your husband, you have joined the adversary in dissolving your marriage. God did not give you a husband for you to still be an independent single woman. He gave you a husband so that you could partner with him, helping him by using your gifts, your skills, and your abilities that He has blessed you with, for the betterment of the whole household. Whenever your career demands of you that which negates your duty as wife and mother, you're in the wrong career, and it is not a calling from God. 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: Is It Wise For A Woman To Give Her Husband Part Of Her Monthly Salary? by Nobody: 6:48am On Oct 29, 2015 |
jpphilips: At jpphilips, Money put into a joint account towards family expenses or capital intensive projects requires a caveat oooo! before one party begins to spend that money recklessly on very silly things or an extra-marital affair. Yinka's husband actually uses her money to fund his fast lane lifestyle and extra marital affairs with other women (Yinka is one of those married women I mentioned in my post but I'm not using her real name). How we know this is a long story I can't and won't get into. My point is - you men are making it harder and harder for us to trust you with stories like Yinka's and the other two married women I mentioned so yes a caveat becomes necessary on a joint account. Me I don't want to hear stories like baby I used that money to do so so so and so thing, when it is time to pay the childrens school fees or renew rent on property we are renting for shelter. A lifestyle of debt, owing people money left, right & center without good cause and constantly dodging people like 007 in those James Bond movies is not for me and I'll be damned if any man puts me there through their financial recklessness or stupidity. |
| Re: Is It Wise For A Woman To Give Her Husband Part Of Her Monthly Salary? by Nobody: 7:09am On Oct 29, 2015 |
bukatyne: . . . its absolutely not possible to be rigid on this one because there is no way there wont be any crossover of roles because that goes against the objectives of marriage which is of being supportive and helpful to one another. If you say you wont help financially and he wont do any chores at all, then that marriage is on a long thing. What happens if he looses his job? Will she watch the family starve to death even though she has a wage coming in every month? What happens if she is newly delivered of a baby or she is ill and he is hungry. Will she still be expected to go to the kitchen and fix something up for him? Personally I think its even easier to drop money than it is to do housework when you are tired or ill. I wouldn't advise anyone to go down that absolute role route as they may not be able to sustain it 24/7 There is a good feeling about helping someone to carry some of the burden, just as it is when someone helps with some of the burden too. All the good marriages I have seen have been based on flexibility as one of the fundamentals. Thanks edwife  3 Likes |
| Re: Is It Wise For A Woman To Give Her Husband Part Of Her Monthly Salary? by cococandy(f): 7:22am On Oct 29, 2015 |
tearoses:@bold, word. I don't know why this is even a hard concept for some people to grab. 1 Like |
| Re: Is It Wise For A Woman To Give Her Husband Part Of Her Monthly Salary? by Nobody: 8:33am On Oct 29, 2015 |
sihom: The caveat should have been way before the having the joint account Couples should look before they leap and try to understand their partners attitude towards money and spending before they commit to the marriage in the first instance. Someone living above their means just to impress others but living from hand to mouth & borrowing here and there during courtship will give you a clue of how they will be when they get married. Any one, be it the husband or the wife who even though married spends lavishly without bearing a thought for the family is a liability and is not a responsible person. So even if that person has their own account, he/she will still be a drain on the family's finances. Yinkas husband is using money that should be using to make his family comfortable on enjoying himself only and spending on other women and His family are still "suffering" and being short changed |
| Re: Is It Wise For A Woman To Give Her Husband Part Of Her Monthly Salary? by Nobody: 8:35am On Oct 29, 2015 |
cococandy: Sometimes its background and what they saw when growing up I doubt it can work long term though, unless they are robots |
| Re: Is It Wise For A Woman To Give Her Husband Part Of Her Monthly Salary? by bukatyne(f): 12:48pm On Oct 29, 2015 |
tearoses: Trust me, a number of couples are very rigid. I know someone who cooks when she is ill.... and the husband has to replace the money of every thing she buys... I know someone expected to pound yam the night she put to bed; I know another one that calls her hubby the gas has finished and oga decides what he wants... rush home to buy gas or buy take away. I am not saying a couple should be 'rigid' (my stance is known here), however we have to understand the root of the matter. @Bold, I agree with you. It should not even be a burden sef, each person do what they will to make their home run smoothly. |
| Re: Is It Wise For A Woman To Give Her Husband Part Of Her Monthly Salary? by Nobody: 4:25pm On Oct 29, 2015 |
RedCapChief:Mama money, papa money & even pikin money all join  1 Like |
| Re: Is It Wise For A Woman To Give Her Husband Part Of Her Monthly Salary? by jpphilips(m): 11:13am On Nov 03, 2015 |
Any position you ladies decide to adopt on this subject matter is never in contention because the moment men abandon their responsibilities they start having issues like this. the point I made there was that no Caveat is required to spend my money in a normal home setting but when a woman's money is involved, even the federal ministry of of women affairs will become a signatory. I will never stop blaming the men, I don't expect every man to be successful but any man that has what it takes to win the love of a successful woman has something inside that is great hence he must do his best to live within that means and at the same time make the woman to see to the limitation of their means. I don't get it when men bring women close to their finances, that is a crime I am yet to commit, perhaps because I acclimatized with the reality of African women, I would wield a different opinion of I was raised in an environment that raised the likes of Sirleaf Johnson, Hilary Clinton et al. African women by default are natural care givers, that psychology contradicts everything finance stands for, several instruments are employed in taking financial decisions especially when you operate at a certain level, there are times to be ruthless, soft, show empathy etc that is not the kinda mat I will spread for a woman to lie on. Some men get a way with it but hey! I really don't believe it will ever work for me. If she makes her money, I watch and see what she spends hers on, that will guarantee what mine will be spent on. The moment a man signs a marriage contract he shouldn't be told that a lot depends on him as per responsibilities, having that behind his mind will influence a lot of decisions he takes and how much influence he capitulates to from extended families, online fora and friends. what we have everywhere are basically adults with beards and tentacles in between their legs, who have masculine body with water proof sense, most men are yet to even discover themselves let alone lead a pack. You see people who get married for selfish reasons and expect the consequences of selfishness to disappear once the knot is tied, I have actually seen a couple that relate so official in their home, I once thought i was in the office after spending an Hour with them, I couldn't help but slip in a joke that my guy would really need an appraisal form to qualify for sex with his wife. those are the kinda sham we celebrate as modern marriages. God help us |
| Re: Is It Wise For A Woman To Give Her Husband Part Of Her Monthly Salary? by MathsChic(f): 6:11am On Nov 13, 2015 |
A lot of talk going on here. Mostly crap talk. If women are fighting so desperately for equal opportunities, then we should be ready for equal responsibilities as well. No one would turn a position at work down if it offered more compensation, but has traditionally been a man's role. 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: Is It Wise For A Woman To Give Her Husband Part Of Her Monthly Salary? by bukatyne(f): 4:18pm On May 07, 2020 |
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