I am currently in love with a girl, weve ve been dating for a year now, but our marriage plans is been hampered due to the following

ON HER PART.
Her parents said NO beacuse
1. She's catholic and am Pentecostal
2. She's Anambra and am Abia
3. Her parents is very rich and mine is average.


ON MY OWN PART
My parents said no because
1. She is Anambra
2. Wants me to Wed in Catholic (My Dad is a Pastor in a pentecostal church)
3.Am too Young (Am 25yrs working in a Bank for over 2yrs now)

Who give a shi.t about religious differences when two people are in love? Your parents and her parents should hang their heads in shame in my opinion! This is 2009, people need to get a flipping grip.

Dude, if you have the resources, do the marriage without their blessing. Nothing will happen to you.

osilekan4u:

I am currently in love with a girl, weve ve been dating for a year now, but our marriage plans is been hampered due to the following

ON HER PART.
Her parents said NO beacuse
1. She's catholic and am Pentecostal
2. She's Anambra and am Abia
3. Her parents is very rich and mine is average.


ON MY OWN PART
My parents said no because
1. She is Anambra
2. Wants me to Wed in Catholic (My Dad is a Pastor in a pentecostal church)
3.Am too Young (Am 25yrs working in a Bank for over 2yrs now)

Ur parent and her's shld get alife. what they shld be concern abt is whether u love each other NOT religion and tribal issues, what has that got to do with love? RUN away with her and get married and just keep off from those self-centered individuals

i understand that it is not easy dealing with our parents when it comes to tribalisim and racisim or even religious differences.
As far your parents are concerned you have no problem because with your father being a pastor you just have to research the bible and remind him of what Jesus said and he will break down. Because being catholic or protestant or being from Anambra or whereever else doesn't mean Jesus doesn't love you.

As far as her parents go after you win over your father you will need his help in appealing to her family. Let your dad the pastor help them remember that God loves us all and as far as you two kids are happy, that should be the most important thing. Also your father can preside over a small ceremony for the two of you but you know a wedding day is really for the bride so go with her flow of being in the catholic church.

I wish you luck and may god suften the minds of our ignorant parents.

na wah oh

what has being a catholic or pentecostal got to do with you guys getting married,
are the Catholics and pentecostals not serving the same God?
it would have even been understandable if one of you is a muslim, but dat's not the case so i think dats a genuine reason why they should stop your marriage,

I think your dad should know better than that as a pastor that a wedding should take place at the girls church cos that's where you're marrying her from.

and lastly you guys are both igbo so what's the issue of Abia and Anambra, don't quite understand that.

your not ready for marriage now.At 25yrs, thank God both side didn't even accept it, you have no idea even if ur working at CBN

osilekan4u:

I am currently in love with a girl, weve ve been dating for a year now, but our marriage plans is been hampered due to the following

ON HER PART.
Her parents said NO beacuse
1. She's catholic and am Pentecostal
2. She's Anambra and am Abia
3. Her parents is very rich and mine is average.


ON MY OWN PART
My parents said no because
1. She is Anambra
2. Wants me to Wed in Catholic (My Dad is a Pastor in a pentecostal church)
3.Am too Young (Am 25yrs working in a Bank for over 2yrs now)

Guy, am dissapointed in you. The reasons above are all irrelevant when its come to matter of love and even married.
my opinion to these post is that you are making us (NAIRALANDERS) know that you exist and spend part of our busy time reading and replying to your post,

ElRazur:

Who give a shi.t about religious differences when two people are in love? Your parents and her parents should hang their heads in shame in my opinion! This is 2009, people need to get a flipping grip.

Dude, if you have the resources, do the marriage without their blessing. Nothing will happen to you.

 @ElRazur:Can you listen to yourself talking? is that the best advice you can,,that he should disregard his parents blessings.That is the most stupid thing anybody can do.
@poster: Don't listen to what most people are saying here.What I would advice you is this: At 25, you are still a young man, working in a bank for 2yrs and so what? What you need to do is this, listen to your parents complains and do everything possible you can to convince them you are up to the task and that you could handle the situation.Even if it takes you and ur girl another 2 years that is what you should,,if both of are truly in love, I see no reason why you both can't wait another 2yrs.If you get married with ur parents blessings you are gonna live a miserable life all through ur marriage.Check other threads this topic have been treated several times on Romance and family sections.

REAL TRUTH:

 @ElRazur:Can you listen to yourself talking? is that the best advice you can,,that he should disregard his parents blessings.That is the most stupid thing anybody can do.
@poster: Don't listen to what most people are saying here.What I would advice you is this: At 25, you are still a young man, working in a bank for 2yrs and so what? What you need to do is this, listen to your parents complains and do everything possible you can to convince them you are up to the task and that you could handle the situation.Even if it takes you and ur girl another 2 years that is what you should,,if both of are truly in love, I see no reason why you both can't wait another 2yrs.If you get married with ur parents blessings you are gonna live a miserable life all through ur marriage.Check other threads this topic have been treated several times on Romance and family sections.

well said. marry at your peril that is what i say to people like you. marriage is difficult with parental blessings i dont know what you want to call it without the blessing. dont let your homornes ruin your future. many divorces you see today wish someone stopped them from the misery they saw as love

JJYOU:

well said. marry at your peril that is what i say to people like you. marriage is difficult with parental blessings i dont know what you want to call it without the blessing. dont let your homornes ruin your future. many divorces you see today wish someone stopped them from the misery they saw as love

Not that I support marriage without parents' blessings but havent you also seen marriages where its the parents that are main the factors behind broken marriages?
Shait happens but it takes only God's BLESSINGS and MERCIES for a marriage to WORK.
@poster: Believe me, I know its not an easy decision but continue to talk to your parents. One of them will soften his/her stand. Either your dad or mum. We have seen it before. Good luck.

Try harder in convincing your parents; using reasoning and superior argument, maybe they would tell you something you don't know, which might have been the reason behind their decision, then you can take it up from there . . . . .Most times our parents know what we don't know, and they will only tell us when they see and feel how serious and insistent we are . . . Work more on your mom, mothers are usually more flexible, once you have her on you side, uhuru is at sight!

Guy don't EVER marry without your parent's blessings . . . . THIS IS AFRICA

Ir;s so funny to me by the way her parent and yours were doing. They are supposed to base on love not religion and tribe and riches.
What of if she should marry another person that just love to have her money and doesn't love her?.
Concerning your age, what I know is once you are over 20 yrs then you are free to do whatever you want to do, as I am, am 23 and if I want to marry this year or next year no one can stop me cos am matured enough to handle marriage relationship.
So your age doesn't matter at all unless if your parent knew that you haven't matured for marriage issue.

Gear up.

Well i was in a worse situation, i am a Muslim and Yoruba, she's Ibo and christian/catholic they said no at first, but then i went to her father begged him to give me just five minutes to talk to him. i started with the fact that a whole lots of young men just wanted to sleep with the girls and run, but i am here to marry your daughter. I said i love her and i promised with my life i will treat his daughter well and protect her and that i will not allow my family to treat her badly cus she's not one of us(their perception). he said no but i have sown a seed, i worked on the mother bought wrapper(ofcourse she can afford them) and generally call her like she's my girlfriend asking about this and that and everyone then asking to talk to daddy on the phone if he was in in the sitting room. I got the aunties that i know my wife know we be the trouble shooter and worked on them, visits and invitations to my own family things. With God's support they said yes. But for religion when they ask if i would convert i didnt lie AND I WAS NICE ABOUT IT, i said i am a man and i wont but i wont prevent their daughter from her religion, but she's a muslim now no problems two children. Just pray to God and take it as an assignment and be patient.

NEVER FORGET THAT ALL WHAT THEY ARE DOING IS TO PROTECT YOU, AT LEAST THAT IS WHAT THEY THINK

osilekan4u:

I am currently in love with a girl, weve ve been dating for a year now, but our marriage plans is been hampered due to the following

ON HER PART.
Her parents said NO beacuse
1. She's catholic and am Pentecostal
2. She's Anambra and am Abia
3. Her parents is very rich and mine is average.


ON MY OWN PART
My parents said no because
1. She is Anambra
2. Wants me to Wed in Catholic (My Dad is a Pastor in a pentecostal church)
3.Am too Young (Am 25yrs working in a Bank for over 2yrs now)

You are a grown ass man. Why should your parents hinder your happiness. If it was over some other thing i would have said yeah well maybe they have a point but "Church".
I mean what the f is dat. Is it not the same Jesus Christ that you all worship. I bet they would assassinate your girlfriend if she ever were to be muslim.
Why should they determine what you guys want.  If "YOU" decide "YOU" want to go to "HELL" and would rather marry a pagan, it is your choice and not your parents.
They won't be here in like 60yrs time when you have to deal with the so-called wife that they want you to marry.

Well my brother, marrigae is not friendship.

You are still a young man, i must advice you to take your time out
talk to your parents while your woman does as well.

Give them reasons that they will need to know,
the blessings of the parents in marriage is very, very crucial

Hope you marry the woman of your heart.
Good luck

@poster

i sure feel ur pain, i am in similar situation, dating for 4 years

i have been able to conquer my parents opposition (cos they r both dead)

but her father is saying hell no reason i am from IMO state and she is from Abia

i wonder why RACISM-TRIBALISM among same ibo tribe it really kills me

solution

given the father up to next june to make up his mind if not court marriage is the option

osilekan4u:

I am currently in love with a girl, weve ve been dating for a year now, but our marriage plans is been hampered due to the following

ON HER PART.
Her parents said NO beacuse
1. She's catholic and am Pentecostal
2. She's Anambra and am Abia
3. Her parents is very rich and mine is average.


ON MY OWN PART
My parents said no because
1. She is Anambra
2. Wants me to Wed in Catholic (My Dad is a Pastor in a pentecostal church)
3.Am too Young (Am 25yrs working in a Bank for over 2yrs now)

I had to watch my sister go through the exact same thing three times consecutively; not from my parents but from her exs parents who were all from Anambra. After her experiences, we all in my family decided to stay away from people from Anambra just to avoid being heart broken.

i understand how u feel at this point cause am actually going through the same thing at the moment.My advice to you is that you should focus on building your career, do not rush into marriage you are quite young and i know that your mind is not yet made up because if it was, you will not be seeking for any advice because you have a firm grasp on what you want.

take time to also nurture your relationship and do not bow to any unnecessary pressure especially from your girl, of course with your job as a banker you are a potential catch for any lady and she will never want to lose all the benefits she stands to gain by staying with you.

so take time(like a year or two) to plan, mature psychologically and grow up, am sure by then you have straightened out your priorities and you will be sure of what you want out of life. do remember that prayer will always be the master key to opening any locked door GOD indeed is able.

bottom line:- pregnancy is not the answer because in the long run you might both might not be happy.

@ skenki

i'm sure u didn't read the part that says she comes from a very rich family,
that's why u r sayin she might be pressurising him.

why are u in a hurry to get married sef, dont let any woman pressurise u into quick marriage.
your parent's opinion is very important.
if you truely love her and she loves you too, let d relationship continue for a while to build trust in both parents then u can talk to them.
dont marry without ur parent's blessing o

^{a word is enough for d wise}

, and they are both Igbo and xtians ooo, what if they ar of differ tribe and religion??. soooooooooo annoying

REAL TRUTH:

 @ElRazur:Can you listen to yourself talking? is that the best advice you can,,that he should disregard his parents blessings.That is the most stupid thing anybody can do.

No may be you should listen to yourself. Parents should not come in between the choice of their children. Period.

Why ask for their blessing if they do not respect his choice? Let me ask you, are you the type who systematically forces your kid [if you have one] to do your will and not theirs?

i ahve heard about the anambra/abia thing,
i also hear that anambras' dont like wedding
imos' oe any other tribe, well dude for this
to happen means you have not done your
homework, there are many ways you can
get her parents consent (your parents dont
have much issue), ITS UP TO YOU. BRO

@Poster

. . . . . .Whatever your decisions are, am right beside you.

Seun abeg why na
I have over 145 unread email all from Nairaland!

Abeg help me de-activate that shit abeg! I don't need those notifications!

This is the third time am saying this. Because you have neglect my other post, expecially when I have them posted in the right thread. . . . Ejor hellepi me

ElRazur:

No may be you should listen to yourself. Parents should not come in between the choice of their children. Period.

Why ask for their blessing if they do not respect his choice? Let me ask you, are you the type who systematically forces your kid [if you have one] to do your will and not theirs?

Probably you re about 25 yrs old too how can you understand?I would never force my kids,,but if its not right for them I would tell them its not right.Period! Do you think marriage is for kindergatten? How can you even tell if this story is real? No Banker of his age would ever dare what he is saying he wants to do after working for 2yrs,what Bank does work with and how much does he earn?
What do you know about choice that you are talking about?Even at 40 yrs a man can still get married for the wrong reason talkless of 25!Its the most stupid thing anybody can do to despise his parents consel even if they re wrong,,if they re wrong you have a responsibilty to convey ur reasoning to them.When you talk about choice, were you there when his parents paid all his school fees to school? were you there when the parents nurtured him from childhood to where he is today? If the parents had failed in there responsibilties to educate him and they left him to his choice, am sure he won't be educated and the girl in question would not find any attraxtion in this guy,

People who can not even define what a relationship is all about are talking of marriage,,try read up other threads on the romance section and family section to get some education little man!!

Real_truth what the Bleep are you talking about? Jeez.

The parents are wrong in this case. Do you accept that? He can marry who he wants, it is his cup of tea and as such if his parent do not want him to be happy, then he can be happy without them - i.e get married without their blessing. How hard is it to get it that?

Parent bringing him to this world, and paying his school fees is irrelevant! They shouldn't have had him if they cannot look after him. It is their choice to bring him to this world not his. However, his choice of who he marries lies with HIM and not the parents who are very wrong in their approach in this case.

Your rantings and logic just leaves me speechless.

Parents of nowadays self. They always want to have their own input in everything their ward(s) engage in.

I don't know how to say this, but, may be u shd impregnate the lady and threaten the you'd abscond and they'll never see ur brake light!

Its always gonna end this way anyways, i mean if u're hell bent on marrying her and ur parents keep saying no, absconding is the only feasible option (besides suicide)!

ElRazur:

Real_truth what the Bleep are you talking about? Jeez.

The parents are wrong in this case. Do you accept that? He can marry who he wants, it is his cup of tea and as such if his parent do not want him to be happy, then he can be happy without them - i.e get married without their blessing. How hard is it to get it that?

Parent bringing him to this world, and paying his school fees is irrelevant! They shouldn't have had him if they cannot look after him. It is their choice to bring him to this world not his. However, his choice of who he marries lies with HIM and not the parents who are very wrong in their approach in this case.

Your rantings and logic just leaves me speechless.

You are just a lousy brat,,am not interested in joining issues with you,,if you think using the F word dignifies you,,you go look for you type.when you get married and have kids you would undertand what you refused to understand now.

Igwe.:

Get her preg . . . . . . . I can't believe i said that

This works too. . .i guess