I have been dating this gal for almost five years now, though we had issues but we were able to manage tough situations along d way. My mom likes her as person but being an Igbo gal and me a Northerner doesn't attract my mum support to finally settle down with her.
So early this year, I decided to quit the relationship on ground that lack of support from family could spell doom for her & my entire life as a whole if I eventually go ahead to marry her even though my family may not stop me. She begged and cried but I stood my ground on ending it. It got to a point where she was not talking to me while staying in my aus cos her parent had moved to d East and she only came back to pack sum of their belongs and join her family in d East but also to confirm d position of our relationship as well. after series of talks and explanation that didn't yield understanding between us she finally left on Val's day to d east.
My mum had a preference 4 me but I don't really like her plus she seemed not smart/intelligent, and does not posses sum qualities I like in my ex. I tried to work it out but to no avail. I couldn't cope so had to quit after four months and during that period I had 2 admit dat I kept in touch wit my ex once in a while. After quitting with d new gal, I started apologizing to my ex and finally won her heart back and promising not 2 break her heart again but it was not easy for me.
I travelled down 2 East in August, to meet and discuss our future (me & her) with her family based on our understanding for me 2 declare my interest/intention to her family and discuss d way forward. I went to d east without my family consent though but we held discussion with her family and they were happy to see me.

After all said and done, I promise to fight 4 for our love and convince my family to reconsider their position on d gal especially my mum of which I succeeded in doing so. I had my family support this time around after rigorous talking. We agreed that she will come to my place to see and familiarize with my entire extended family during xmas in preparation for our introduction in January 2016.

Now problems started creeping in more than a month a ago wen her attitude towards me started changing. She doesn't answer my calls as we used to. sometimes harsh on d phone and boring and i tried to understand wat d problem is also she but I fail on several occasion. I gave her little space but then I began to worry cos prior to this she used to tell me jokingly "wat if she decides not to marry me" several times but I didn't take it serious not until she told me to put d marriage preparation on hold. I was shocked. I persuaded her to tell me why and was going but at first, she told me d north is too far from her and later told me she is in love with me and one other guy. I became confused. I tried hard to convince her its a distraction and funny enuf d guy she is talking about lives in d same town with me and i used to caution her about his antics towards her but she gives me assurances not to worry.

Again she started bringing up past issues on how I maltreated her the last time she came, and that she wanted me to feel d pain she felt. that I cos it at first for allowing her find comfort in d guys arms wen she was heart broken but i counter it by saying I tot we had gon pass this level why d sudden change? why did she have to allow me start all dis process and after struggling to convince my people. She said I should wait for her decision on who to choose. My major concern heighten again on what are d chances she will not change her mind maybe few weeks to d wedding proper even if she said she will go ahead and marry me? she spoke with my aunt and also told her that she can't go ahead with d wedding and now my aunt has told my mum already about d recent dev. just few days ago. My mum is asking me wat is really happening but am speechless on how do I start wen she had warn me in d first place.

D situation made me do stupid things but now I have decided to move on with my life and forget about her even though she calls me endlessly for d passed few days and send me text message to tell me she has accepted to marry me without apologise. I refused to pick her calls though but I responded with "its too late. wish u all d best" and she replied me back with "tanx wish u same too" Guys pls should I forgive and marry her or its a big red flag? cos we are not yet married but am beginning to have high bp already not from 3rd party but my fiancée in particular.

Even the Epistle of Peter sef... no reach this one.

Ha bro I did not read the thread but my advice don't marry her because you mention forgive which means she did something wrong and it means she can do it again.

Strahovski:
Even the Epistle of Peter sef... no reach this one.

Ha bro I did not read the thread but my advice don't marry her because you mention forgive which means she did something wrong and it means she can do it again.

Tanks bro, but honestly speaking she threatened me with knife on two occasions before but later told me she didn't mean it. I guess my love for her made me weak to take a strong position on dat but I think these recent events makes me flash back at those instances.

hmmmmn..
Op I think you should consider writing a novel... be it fiction or true life story..just write, you have the skills and talent of writing an epistle...







my advice is not to marry her that's if you don't wanna come here asking for advice on how to deal with a cheating wife..

Omo nowadays na men dey love ooo.. Shooo
All the topics wey i don dey read Na so so man man man "I love her so much " weeetin dey hapin

Person go read some threads on NL and brain go shut down. Its obvious you treated her badly, and d babe too don wise up, you gave her an potion, now deal with it. The relationship has expired.

Lmao! So she has even threatened you with knie twice? Na wa o, if a babe try that with me once, I don quit be that, cos I could be annoying sometime, and she would end up stabbing me one day.

Sufdavinci:
I refused to pick her calls though but I responded with "its too late. wish u all d best" and she replied me back with "tanx wish u same too"

So after the above, you still need advice abi? If I slap you, you will wake up in yesterday. Ode!

JumpingChicken:


So after the above, you still need advice abi? If I slap you, you will wake up in yesterday. Ode!

Guy sometimes things like this is not easy to strike out wen at a point I felt I could still make it work. But now I think am done.

Sufdavinci:


Guy sometimes things like this is not easy to strike out wen at a point I felt I could still make it work. But now I think am done.

Guy leave that babe alone! I know it will be very difficult but be a man about it. The most difficult thing in a man's life is finding a good woman. And you haven't found one. Your woman should be begging to be with you not the other way round. Its gonna be hard I understand but think about ur future. Its better to have a broken relationship than have a broken marriage. Just try to move on. Ur not even up to 30 sef.

try to let her be for now, that's just the best. marriage is once in a life time of happiness or regrets, the choice is yours!

Lets hear the lady's side of the story too@op.snake wey one person see,dhey turn to python for him eyes.

What I can infer from the write up is a do me I do u thing
lalasticlala! Shey dis topic worth FP?

What I can infer from the write up is a do me I do u thing
lalasticlala! Shey dis topic worth FP?

Women get problem o, see marriage don come now she dey do shakara.

OP stand your ground o. Don't take her back abeg. She's delusional. Ladies are just confuse. They don't know when the long awaited RIGHT man comes their way.

Op 9ice chapter

The lady is quite emotionally unstable. You treated her badly, though. But then, If she truly loves you, she would have gone past that. Love forgives! How will she want to marry someone she cannot forgive? And have you apologised for the bad way you treated her? Its so obvious she is still brimming with rage and vendetta, that is why she is intentionally toying with your emotion. That alone portends danger for you.

She threatened you with knife on two occassions? Don't overlook that, pls! Its enough reason to call it quit. Is she temperamental?

She has obviously developed cold feet as per marriage concerned, because of the new guy in her life. If you succeed in changing her mind to marry you, then be ready to be cheated on in marriage.

Sufdavinci please don't marry a woman who says she wants you to feel the pain you caused her. She is dangerous. Consider yourself lucky that she has even confessed that she is cheating on you.

You could have married her without knowing that there is another guy she is in love with. Many married men don't know that their firstborns are not their flesh and blood. A girl who is bold enough to cheat on you and tell you, hmmm, she is dangerous.

I don't think you deliberately hurt her. So what's her problem? She was bent on marrying you even though your people didn't support the idea. I think you did her favour by breaking up instead of wasting her time. The mistake you made was to go back. It's time to break up again with that unfaithful woman. She is not worth all the effort you put into the relationship.

Op, my advice. You from the north, stay and marry in the north, because all this Biafra protest going on in the east ehn, her people might cut off your d/ck and e-mail it to buhari the next time you visit them without your parents consent or knowledge, you loved her. Move on! There are better women out there

I admit that I had treated her badly especially the break up but then nobody is perfect and I did asked for her forgiveness and second chance to make up of which I endured bashing and all sort of insult from her.

While I was in her village back then in August, she made one silly request that shocked my bones. That I should promise to bring her corps back home wen she die. I was like its this gal ok or its just my ears deceiving me? how is dat an important issue? does burying person in his home guarantee eternity or what? I pretend not to hear her and warn her to desist from such ill talks.

Its obvious to me now that this a case of two like poles that will repeal each other. Again I have to agree with d saying that "What an elderly person see from a far even if a child climbs d tallest mountain cannot see it" My mum might not be right always but I trust her intuition/judgement on most cases.

Sufdavinci:
I admit that I had treated her badly especially the break up but then nobody is perfect and I did asked for her forgiveness and second chance to make up of which I endured bashing and all sort of insult from her.

While I was in her village back then in August, she made one silly request that shocked my bones. That I should promise to bring her corps back home wen she die. I was like its this gal ok or its just my ears deceiving me? how is dat an important issue? does burying person in his home guarantee eternity or what? I pretend not to hear her and warn her to desist from such ill talks.

Its obvious to me now that this a case of two like poles that will repeal each other. Again I have to agree with d saying that "What an elderly person see from a far even if a child climbs d tallest mountain cannot see it" My mum might not be right always but I trust her intuition/judgement on most cases.

ehena? Its our culture jor! She's important to her family. she demanded you should return her corpse. Na bad thing she talk? With boko haram jumping up and down like flies on poo in the north. She made a good and sensible request

Una no dey judge well ooo....u guys forgot the op treated her unfairly.....we aren't meant to judge this way, no body heard from the lady in question and we are already throwing stones...Btw the op treated her badly. For breaking up with the poor lady after so many pleads simply because he wants to hook up with his parents match-mak, Wasn't he emotionally unstable too??...Where the heck was his love the first time he broke up wit her....do u hav an idea the heart break from her part?? No! Perhaps this new guy loved her when the op threw her out, and now she is finding a hard tym deciding to pick a prodigal boyfriend over a guy who stayed with her all the way. I mean dat enough to make u super confused.

My problem with this op is so much impatient and pride...jst a few days of "attitude" and u are calling it a quit??..you don't hav to idea wat u really want in life dude because marriage is not really want we watch in the movies everything is played perfectly...u can never and will never get a perfect woman....any woman will wrong u one way or the other some might cheat on u for years without ur knowledge...dis is the devil u knw for 5 years so better dan the angel u don't know. Ur woman whoever will annoy u and do lots and lots of crazy stuff I hope u file her a divorce papers few days later....mtcheew... imagine the texts over few days turn up "it's too late".....i don't think u knw wat love is about maybe you should use ur bible 1cor 13:4-7... read it through...love is patient if u really love that lady wen she was emotional indecisive the perfect timing for u to be perfect and prove her dat u hav err in the past but now u come to stay not saying "am moving on" "it's too late"...pple calling her a cheat accuse her wrongly actually she was honest enough to tell she is liking someone else and u don't appreciate that??...Wat if she kept it from you and then break up few days to ur wedding dat would serve u right...@ less she was honest the more reason u should hav appreciated her and prove to be a better man..instead u are still claiming to be right over ur own wrongs...u broke the pitcher dude...u've got to fix it! Or better still move on but don't take ur impatience and pride along

Btw....i really blamed her for threatening u with knife...dat is the only reason I can say u shouldn't marry her because of her poor anger management.....but for any other reason u are the mess

Nairaland stop judging people pple..

Who read this ish above me abeg?

obiorathesubtle:
ehena? Its our culture jor! She's important to her family. she demanded you should return her corpse. Na bad thing she talk? With boko haram jumping up and down like flies on poo in the north. She made a good and sensible request

Good bless you my brother, dis op is looking for ways to rubbish the gurl and feel like he is the perfect one jst hear him " I know I wrong her esp the break "but then no one is perfect " as he still claim right over his wrong and still feels he is alright to sin..jat I hate folks like dis...very self righteous and judgemental...why is he telling us all dis thrash no. So we can judge the the gal or wat??...this op is a very wicked person..honestly he don't worth my tym...

obiorathesubtle:
Who read this ish above me abeg?

Grow up and stop sucking breast @ 30 so u cn develop some brain

zaragal:


Grow up and stop ducking breast @ 30 so u cn develop some brain

if you're a girl, I find this your quote very irresponsible and I'm very disappointed. Now fvck off my mentions before I pour you hot water and condemn you for life!

obiorathesubtle:
if you're a girl, I find this your quote very irresponsible and I'm very disappointed. Now fvck off my mentions before I pour you hot water and condemn you for life!

Look who is talking abt responsibility...I thought u were saned until I save ur silly post after my post very silly and immature now bleep off....u are already condemned silly goat..now gerarahere

zaragal:


Grow up and stop ducking breast @ 30 so u cn develop some brain

if you're a female, I find this very irritating, I think it is irresponsible and I'm very disappointed in you, I have nothing to say really. So fvck off my mentions. I'm very busy right now. If you come back! I will pour you hot water and condemn you for life!

zaragal:



Look who is talking abt responsibility...I thought u were saned until I save ur silly post after my post very silly and immature now bleep off....u are already condemned silly goat..now gerarahere

demonic tool! Agent of wretchedness! I hope you die of a heart attack while riding your crippled boyfriend's tiny d/ck! Bye fool!

obiorathesubtle:
demonic tool! Agent of wretchedness! I hope you die of a heart attack while riding your crippled boyfriend's tiny d/ck! Bye fool!

Lolzzzz...heheheheheheheheheheheheheheh...so y spewing all dis rat shit now u hav made ur silly point huh??...

Am still looking for brain in ur head still searching.....searching...searching.
.scanning...scanning...ur brain is complete devoid of brain and common sense so rotten and fill with sour breast milk and maggots dats y u spew out rat shit...sucks...u are completely useless

obiorathesubtle:
demonic tool! Agent of wretchedness! I hope you die of a heart attack while riding your crippled boyfriend's tiny d/ck! Bye fool!

Lolzzzz...heheheheheheheheheheheheheheh...so y spewing all dis rat shit now u hav make ur silly point huh??...

Am still looking for brain in ur head still searching.....searching...searching.
.scanning...scanning...ur brain is complete devoid of brain and common sense so rotten and fill with sour breast milk and maggots dats y u spew out rat shit...sucks...u are completely useless ....after ur entirely generation is dead and ur wretched mother filling ur head with sour milk has died den u will die...all of dis will come soonext okk..dont worry

You guys shouldn't marry... You don't respect each other. you might end up in jail if you act stupidly.

zaragal:



Lolzzzz...heheheheheheheheheheheheheheh...so y spewing all dis rat shit now u hav make ur silly point huh??...

Am still looking for brain in ur head still searching.....searching...searching.
.scanning...scanning...ur brain is complete devoid of brain and common sense so rotten and fill with sour breast milk and maggots dats y u spew out rat shit...sucks...u are completely useless ....after ur entirely generation is dead and ur wretched mother filling ur head with sour milk has died den u will die...all of dis will come soonext okk..dont worry

Lol. We just have to be friends. I'm obi, what's your name?