There’s this word that you probably use all the time. It’s a seemingly harmless word — close to meaningless, really — but it’s slowly, subversively tainting your relationships. Look back over any recent texts and emails you’ve sent to friends. If they look something like this, you’re caught in this word’s trap: “I’d love to hang out! But I’m really busy.” “Sorry I didn’t get back to you earlier! I’ve been so busy.” “What’s going on with me? Just busy as usual!” You guessed it. The single-word saboteur is BUSY. It’s stealthily driving your friends away, and it’s time to eliminate it from your social vocabulary. To be clear, there’s nothing wrong with actually being busy: People can certainly have many obligations and still maintain great relationships. And it’s not being busy that drives people away; it’s the word itself. Let’s discuss the top three reasons it’s time to be done with “busy”… and three ways to replace it with something better. 1. Everyone is busy. These days, saying you’re busy is basically like saying you’re alive. Being busy may once have been an indicator of importance; it may once have implied that many people and projects relied on you. Now, it’s a filler word that can be applied to any situation: You could be 10 years into your job and be “busy.” You could be between jobs and be “busy.” You could be vacationing and be “busy.” The word itself no longer relates to any specific, making it basically meaningless — and meaningless language is a problem for relationships because it doesn’t help other people understand what, specifically, you’re going through. It actually impedes mutual understanding. 2. It’s open to (negative) interpretation. The vague nature of “I’m really busy” leaves the real reason why you’re being unavailable to a friend open to interpretation. While many people will accept “being busy” as enough of a reason for not hanging out the first few times you use it, eventually friends will see it as a veil over a more sinister reason for staying away: Maybe you don’t like them anymore and are too afraid to say it. In other words, “busy” allows others to fill in the blank of your true intentions. Often, they will fill that blank with a negative assumption. In a worst-case scenario, friends may feel like your “busy” is a way of blowing them off without having to state a reason for doing so. 3. It means “not right now.” Often, “busy” simply means that you have higher priorities right now than seeing friends — which is totally fine. You may be caring for a child or launching a new product; there are lots of legitimate reasons why friendships fall down one’s list of priorities. The issue is that “being busy” doesn’t communicate any of that. Saying “not right now” when someone tries to engage with you is a relationship killer because it fosters a feeling of rejection. “Busy” is the friendship equivalent of “not right now.” It lacks a sense of caring about the other person and fosters distance as a result. Three better options: All that being said, just because “busy” is not a word that generates closeness, that doesn’t mean you can’t communicate the same thing in a way that does. Here are some tips for telling your friends you just can’t right now, without hurting their feelings: 1. Be more specific There’s an easy way to eliminate the vagueness of “busy” and that’s telling friends specifically what you’re busy doing. Of course, this takes more of your time and effort — something that can be challenging when you’re already really swamped. But it’s worth doing because the difference in how the message is received is significant. Let’s say you invite a friend to your birthday party and she writes back: “I’d love to but I’m really busy!” But what if she had written: “I’d love to but Jack has a karate competition that evening and he specifically asked me to watch him this time. Have some champagne for me, though!” Feel the difference? The second message explains your friend’s reasoning, gives context, and communicates that she’s still invested in your happiness. The first message, frankly, is a blow- off. 2. Set a time frame. If you’re busy because of an especially difficult crunch time either at work or at home, it’s helpful to make your friends aware of just how long this “busy” time will last. For example, if you know your project will wrap up in a month and your schedule will open up soon after, communicate your desire to reconnect with everyone then. Even if that month turns into two, your friends will appreciate that you expressed the desire to be together again as soon as possible. 3. Determine if you need to have a difficult conversation. And now, it’s time to confront the dark side of “busy.” As we all know, “being busy” can be a method by which we disengage from a relationship we no longer want to have. The kids call it “ghosting” — distancing yourself from a relationship without ever explaining why. If you’re using “busy” in this way, it’s worth determining if you need to have that difficult conversation with the person you’re ghosting. While it’s always uncomfortable to “break up” with a friend, some friendships deserve this attention. In some cases, it’ll cause great sadness to both parties to “busy” a friendship to death.

alberson:
There’s this word that you probably use all the
time. It’s a seemingly harmless word — close to
meaningless, really — but it’s slowly,
subversively tainting your relationships.
Look back over any recent texts and emails
you’ve sent to friends. If they look something
like this, you’re caught in this word’s trap:
“I’d love to hang out! But I’m really busy.”
“Sorry I didn’t get back to you earlier! I’ve been
so busy.”
“What’s going on with me? Just busy as usual!”
You guessed it. The single-word saboteur is
BUSY.
It’s stealthily driving your friends away, and it’s
time to eliminate it from your social vocabulary.
To be clear, there’s nothing wrong with actually
being busy: People can certainly have many
obligations and still maintain great relationships.
And it’s not being busy that drives people away;
it’s the word itself.
Let’s discuss the top three reasons it’s time to be
done with “busy”… and three ways to replace it
with something better.
1. Everyone is busy.
These days, saying you’re busy is basically like
saying you’re alive.
Being busy may once have been an indicator of
importance; it may once have implied that many
people and projects relied on you. Now, it’s a
filler word that can be applied to any situation:
You could be 10 years into your job and be
“busy.” You could be between jobs and be
“busy.” You could be vacationing and be “busy.”
The word itself no longer relates to any specific,
making it basically meaningless — and
meaningless language is a problem for
relationships because it doesn’t help other
people understand what, specifically, you’re
going through. It actually impedes mutual
understanding.
2. It’s open to (negative) interpretation.
The vague nature of “I’m really busy” leaves the
real reason why you’re being unavailable to a
friend open to interpretation. While many people
will accept “being busy” as enough of a reason
for not hanging out the first few times you use it,
eventually friends will see it as a veil over a
more sinister reason for staying away: Maybe
you don’t like them anymore and are too afraid
to say it.
In other words, “busy” allows others to fill in the
blank of your true intentions. Often, they will fill
that blank with a negative assumption. In a
worst-case scenario, friends may feel like your
“busy” is a way of blowing them off without
having to state a reason for doing so.
3. It means “not right now.”
Often, “busy” simply means that you have higher
priorities right now than seeing friends — which
is totally fine. You may be caring for a child or
launching a new product; there are lots of
legitimate reasons why friendships fall down
one’s list of priorities. The issue is that “being
busy” doesn’t communicate any of that.
Saying “not right now” when someone tries to
engage with you is a relationship killer because it
fosters a feeling of rejection. “Busy” is the
friendship equivalent of “not right now.” It lacks
a sense of caring about the other person and
fosters distance as a result.
Three better options:
All that being said, just because “busy” is not a
word that generates closeness, that doesn’t mean
you can’t communicate the same thing in a way
that does. Here are some tips for telling your
friends you just can’t right now, without hurting
their feelings:
1. Be more specific
There’s an easy way to eliminate the vagueness
of “busy” and that’s telling friends specifically
what you’re busy doing. Of course, this takes
more of your time and effort — something that
can be challenging when you’re already really
swamped. But it’s worth doing because the
difference in how the message is received is
significant.
Let’s say you invite a friend to your birthday
party and she writes back: “I’d love to but I’m
really busy!” But what if she had written: “I’d
love to but Jack has a karate competition that
evening and he specifically asked me to watch
him this time. Have some champagne for me,
though!”
Feel the difference? The second message explains
your friend’s reasoning, gives context, and
communicates that she’s still invested in your
happiness. The first message, frankly, is a blow-
off.
2. Set a time frame.
If you’re busy because of an especially difficult
crunch time either at work or at home, it’s
helpful to make your friends aware of just how
long this “busy” time will last. For example, if
you know your project will wrap up in a month
and your schedule will open up soon after,
communicate your desire to reconnect with
everyone then. Even if that month turns into
two, your friends will appreciate that you
expressed the desire to be together again as soon
as possible.
3. Determine if you need to have a difficult
conversation.
And now, it’s time to confront the dark side of
“busy.” As we all know, “being busy” can be a
method by which we disengage from a
relationship we no longer want to have. The kids
call it “ghosting” — distancing yourself from a
relationship without ever explaining why. If
you’re using “busy” in this way, it’s worth
determining if you need to have that difficult
conversation with the person you’re ghosting.
While it’s always uncomfortable to “break up”
with a friend, some friendships deserve this
attention. In some cases, it’ll cause great sadness
to both parties to “busy” a friendship to death.

is this "ONE WORD"?

Abeg abeg

I'm too busy to read all that

Tah too busy to read that

Am busy doing nothing

I will start reading all this because of one word abi?


*Zooms off*