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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Help Me... My Mum Is Making Me Depressed. (42108 Views)
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Re: Help Me... My Mum Is Making Me Depressed. by leofab(f): 9:39am On Dec 11, 2015 |
Talk to your parents... Hey shouldn't be more religious than the Europeans that brought Christianity.... What foolishness!!! They want to disown you because of an unseen being... 2 Likes
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Re: Help Me... My Mum Is Making Me Depressed. by mathkid55: 9:43am On Dec 11, 2015 |
Hey bro, i feel your pain. like seriously. Been there myself. Sometimes i wondered why all the extreme precautions, sometimes it was so annoying, i just had to laugh. Lots of times i cried my eyes out. Being the kind of person i was and the secondary school i attended, i would've been a bad person if i wanted. Yet they never understood they were blessed with a good child. However, things are a lot better today. I'm still in the church (Deeper life). Things changed after i entered the university. The campus fellowship (DLCF) is sooooo wonderful. They don't have the mentality of church at home and still the Presence of God is still mightily present there. If u haven't attended one pls try to check them out. Finally bro, PRAY. You can never tell what your prayers can do. As hard as it is, hating or judging your parents will do very little for yourself of them. So talk to God about it. He's closer than you think, just right beside you and he sees that hurt in your heart. He can do only as much as you can ask. He is my best friend and i tell him lots of stuff, including those things people may find stupid. It has and it is still working for me. Thanks for reading my loong epistle. I hope this would help. Hope to hearing a good feedback in the nearest future. 1 Like |
Re: Help Me... My Mum Is Making Me Depressed. by holyokoto(m): 9:46am On Dec 11, 2015 |
If you can take this little advice of mine, it will be of little help. please first of all debunk the idea of Suicide, face your, 20 years journey is not easy. The end of this treatment is not far again. Those advising you to pray and fast has no knowledge that god was never against human freewill. And how can you report them to their Pastor? For the pastor to do what? I understand your feelings, there is nothing anybody can do about it. just endure "If you can make it through the night there is a bright day"... The most important thing REMEBER NOT TO PASS SUCH TREATMENT TO YOUR FUTURE KIDS, the first act will become worse than the last |
Re: Help Me... My Mum Is Making Me Depressed. by NaWetinDey(m): 9:52am On Dec 11, 2015 |
My dear, since you are free and bold enough to have the internet available, you are almost free. It's abuse parents do mostly ignorantly. And, most times, they end up wrecking their children's lives through it. I grew up in an excrutiatingly strict Catholic church where my dad would beat the hell out a u if u dare get sleepy during 'Ekene Maria' sessions morning and night - but mostly nights. He would whip u with a 'koboko' as if u were a cow. We were all practically forced into 'block rosary' until I knew nothing but it. I then grew up hanging such Christianity on my neck that, even when I joined the so-called "Pentecostals" I still felt all needed for success in life was being 'churchy.' But I learned the hard way when I became independent from them: not even the Rev FRS and pastors live what they preach. And you sure would get into their bad books when you tru to redirect them the Bible way. By then, you have made enemies with the people you call "of this world" so much that u can't even remember when trying to be a good person led you that far behind. Bottomline: Some of these parents are only handing over to you the best of what they know. They think they are helping you not knowing they are making it difficult for you to compete with your likes in the society when you get out. Blame them no further! Stand your ground and tell them you must live your life and be responsible for it. If it gets far, tell them you will make life as miserable as they want to make yours if they don't leave you alone. You can even tell them you will report them to human rights and/or police if need be (although it may not hold any sand here). BUT say them reapecrifully after you have used a closer person to talk to them on the negative effects of what they do to you. Personal Advice: Parents should stop forcing their children into their career or religious beliefs, it's destructive for your child. DO NOT TAKE MY ADVICE IF IT RUNS AT CROSS-PURPOSES WITH YOUR SIGNED-AND-SEALED BELIEF. 2 Likes |
Re: Help Me... My Mum Is Making Me Depressed. by chidekings(m): 10:02am On Dec 11, 2015 |
Op,take heart ,I was a bit like u before ,u need to show them u have grown .start challenging them on certain matters and lastly stop being dependent too much . |
Re: Help Me... My Mum Is Making Me Depressed. by Vision4God: 10:05am On Dec 11, 2015 |
Nairalander2015 Had almost a similar xperience. Pls b patient wt ur parent. It's a mata of tym. Twil b history. Don't pretend, try talking to dem individually & if Dats not working out, follow der rules to win der heart(since deeper life is not a bad place or fettish). Gradually begin to make ur point and perspective of life clear to dem of course wt prayers. U wil enjoy it. Der only trying to b protective to d best of der knowledge. Pls be SRONG, twill soon b over God Bless U |
Re: Help Me... My Mum Is Making Me Depressed. by DBC5(f): 10:12am On Dec 11, 2015 |
Be strong, it is well! |
Re: Help Me... My Mum Is Making Me Depressed. by SolomonAdeola: 10:38am On Dec 11, 2015 |
Ezerbullet: I wish I could like this comment a thousand times over. Chill till after school cos if u revolt now dem fit no sponsor ur education ooh....dem no go send you ni 1 Like |
Re: Help Me... My Mum Is Making Me Depressed. by smada13(m): 10:47am On Dec 11, 2015 |
interleukin: lolzz..I'm a happy man and my kids will so enjoy me as my fiancee is doing too....that our parents do things wrong doesn't mean I'll do same...that's why they sent us to school and we are more versed than them...we are in a new age but don't have to do away with the old time religion.. just a few modification here and there and we are fine... I'm touched by your pain....we need to see things differently....only a few parent will see fire and tell the children to put hand in it...and NO deeper life parent will do so...but they can't be right every time...wish I have tie to share some things with you.....av fun go read up my modified comment...tnx |
Re: Help Me... My Mum Is Making Me Depressed. by smada13(m): 10:54am On Dec 11, 2015 |
meraki: Sister I understand you perfectly well but until our parents understand that we are in a new age what we the kids have to do is to live that life of sacrifice till we stay on our own...I've walked that path and I'm living fine all by myself now and still attending the church...I still watch my darling Real Madrid and I don't joke with any Nigeria match whatever grade....just finding my way to satisfy all parties....the bible said " obey your parent in the lord for this is right"...we just have to obey them...and all the leaders that meet me are always proud to relate with me and know my mum...in fact all of them call me their son....I'm even toying with the proposal of joining the workforce.... we are the ones to bring the much needed "adjustment" to that body....God will help us... meanwhile, I've modifies my comment, go and read pls....thanks |
Re: Help Me... My Mum Is Making Me Depressed. by Nobody: 10:55am On Dec 11, 2015 |
Whatever u do, do not commit suicide. Its not worth it. no one will remember u in some years to come. life will go on for others (even ur parents though they will be immensely sad). Persevere and finish ur education. If u choose to fund urself, fine (note that this option is not easy esp in Nigeria). When u become an independent man, you will be happier and truly free. If U were a lady, wouldnt it be worse? what with pleated skirts, puffed hand blouses, natural hair etc. Bros, pls u are lucky jor. 2 Likes |
Re: Help Me... My Mum Is Making Me Depressed. by 247notire(m): 10:59am On Dec 11, 2015 |
Edusouls:U did not get my post. He has 2 options, either do everything the parents want or rebel against them. Since his parents are religious fanatics, him rebelling may boomerang but who cares? That's the only way to end his misery: rebelling. If na me I for don dey rebel from day 1 sef, God punish them... |
Re: Help Me... My Mum Is Making Me Depressed. by isblog(m): 11:01am On Dec 11, 2015 |
blueandbirds: Makes sense |
Re: Help Me... My Mum Is Making Me Depressed. by isblog(m): 11:05am On Dec 11, 2015 |
nairalander2015: Report them to their spiritual head or pastor. Confront them politely and with diplomacy. And please change church. You need to know God for yourself and nothing says that when you stay in the church you were born into then you are on the right track. Christianity is not fanatism... |
Re: Help Me... My Mum Is Making Me Depressed. by BayoJoe: 11:14am On Dec 11, 2015 |
Though I didn't go through all pages of comments but I can summarily say the OP has been advice well. OP, note one thing. If your parent has not been Deeper Lifers they would've acted same way. So take heart and enjoy life all the same. |
Re: Help Me... My Mum Is Making Me Depressed. by bobkezel(m): 11:36am On Dec 11, 2015 |
Christian boko everywhere you go. Guy stand up for yourself and be a man. Your problem is you rely solely on your parents for money. Bone them for one year and they will be begging you to come home. It will not be easy but you will be happy you did. |
Re: Help Me... My Mum Is Making Me Depressed. by meraki(f): 11:39am On Dec 11, 2015 |
smada13: Am guessing you are male and if my guess is correct am not surprised you are "toying" with joining the "workforce" and even contemplating getting married in DLBC even with all d toned down "marriage committee dos & don't's". The female members got the worst end of the deal! |
Re: Help Me... My Mum Is Making Me Depressed. by Nobody: 11:50am On Dec 11, 2015 |
“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’ “Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. ... Matthew 7:21-27 |
Re: Help Me... My Mum Is Making Me Depressed. by preciousMI1(f): 11:59am On Dec 11, 2015 |
nairalander2015: talking to d pastor may seem worst if the pastor is a fanatic too. just talk to God n go to church as usual if that's what dey want |
Re: Help Me... My Mum Is Making Me Depressed. by sammyke(m): 12:03pm On Dec 11, 2015 |
seeing posts like dis always make me laff. guy u need to be smart about it, I perfectly relate to everything u said. I came out fine with my own mini kind of rebellion. reply my email and let's talk beta |
Re: Help Me... My Mum Is Making Me Depressed. by Nobody: 12:07pm On Dec 11, 2015 |
Ginaz:You have said it all. @OP, take heart, may God see you through. |
Re: Help Me... My Mum Is Making Me Depressed. by smada13(m): 12:14pm On Dec 11, 2015 |
meraki: lolzz...sister, marriage committee is not easy doh but I learnt letting them have their way and considering my position....I started off with telling them I can get married to the same girl without them....with that in mind, they softened up....cuz I'm good at standing my ground and the lady too....we've both learnt how to deal with issues and satisfying all parties....and guess, the girl's parents are leaders too (no nonsense people).....TGIF |
Re: Help Me... My Mum Is Making Me Depressed. by smada13(m): 12:22pm On Dec 11, 2015 |
I'm still expecting your call @nairalander2015.....08025838714....even if it's a flash |
Re: Help Me... My Mum Is Making Me Depressed. by trendyprettygir: 12:22pm On Dec 11, 2015 |
Hello Op. Though your epistle is quite hard to read, but since you are still under the care of your parents, why not stay with your parents, learn from them and love them? You definitely will not live with them forever and right now you are with them you have to exercise patience and love them. Don't be deceived by friends and what you see outside. Start going to the fellowship, start listening to them and obeying them. When you can now cater for yourself and living on your own, you can do as you please. Life out there is hard and not as easy and smooth as you are led to believe. Please have a change of heart now, before its too late. |
Re: Help Me... My Mum Is Making Me Depressed. by Obeby(m): 12:31pm On Dec 11, 2015 |
[quote author=nairalander2015 post=40888161]Good day nairaland. As I write this... I am depressed, simply depressed.. If suicide led to heaven mayb i would have been a victim. Truly itz nt everyone who smiles that is happy. MY story I was born into a deeper life family 20yrs ago.. And I can say i regret being born into deeper life.. I would ave preferred been converted there than being born there. My travails started in secondary school.. Wen i failed to attend a fellowship, my mum talked harshly, slapped me an said i was a dishes disgrace.. Just because i failed to attend a school fellowship.. And I knew that I wasn't a bad kid.. Jes the gentle type.. Since then it has been bad... When others celebrate their mum.. I can't.. I am as far from my parents as anything.. Jes because they are deeperlifers.. I can't seat comfortably with my parents.. Cos of principles. Next was the battle concerning trousers.. She woke me up one black night with a thundering slap over a slim trouser.. Imagine dat was @16.. I cried and cried dat day.. Dat God made a mistake borning me in deeper life... Jes because i walked with a girl.. She banned me from going out.. Even at a young age... Threatened me that she"ll disown me if I marry a lady who wears wigs, trousers.. Omg.. Now.. I am in the university.. I never want to go home. I hate home.. I am depressed.. So so depressed.. My dad didn't send me any cash for a month cos a friend told him I failed to attend a midweek service.. Imagine.. Yet i am not rebellious. I know fellow guys like me who had big problems with their children but they were rebellious.. But i am not I feel depressed writing this.. Spirituality without love is a disaster.. Aw i wish i wasn't born to a deeper life's family.. Itz a curse.. I am tired.. Itz threat all the time. I am not close to my parents.. Imagine.. Seems i should just die.. I now see my mum as a enemy.. Anytime i see her i am sad.. Talks too much about simple things in a bad manner quoting Bible over needless things.. Watching ball outside is a sin.. Visiting friends is a nono.. Cos they are highly placed in the church.. Yet no one to share my burdens with.. So sad... Yet they think i am happy..i know many out there experience something similar but are helples.. Oh God have mercy on me.. Itz calamitous to be the child of a fanatic especially if you don't wanna be a fanatic also.... Advice pls.. What can I do? So so depressed.. Feel like dieing to be reborn elsewhere . hello... love to meet you. I'm a member as well. You can reach me ...08101767797. Could be o help. Expecting ur call. |
Re: Help Me... My Mum Is Making Me Depressed. by CioAngels(f): 12:45pm On Dec 11, 2015 |
You are a good boy, you said, and i believe you. You have to remain good for yourself and not for anyone else. Dont ascribe to yourself depression, do you know depression can lead to madness? So take it off your mind. I self-service you to know your mother loves you and she is protecting you the way she understands. Do not allow this issue to weigh you down. Face your studies now and for your futur. I advise you to go to your senior uncles and anties to tell them what is happening, they should be able to talk to her wisely. Mother, dont destroy your night joy over church doctrine. SOME MOTHER DO HAVE THEM. |
Re: Help Me... My Mum Is Making Me Depressed. by glingev(m): 1:04pm On Dec 11, 2015 |
Do everything you are told to do at home so as to stop the misunderstanding with your mum but you can still live the life you want if you outside your home till you become independent. |
Re: Help Me... My Mum Is Making Me Depressed. by UmecheMoses(m): 1:10pm On Dec 11, 2015 |
Bro.......Hit Me up ASAP....... I have a solution 08067895454 GOD BLESS YOU |
Re: Help Me... My Mum Is Making Me Depressed. by qtx(m): 1:19pm On Dec 11, 2015 |
nairalander2015: OP, i feel your emotional pain. I understand how uneasy this situation can be. However, first you must understand that your parents wish you well. The greatest legacy a parent can leave for his/her child is not wealth, is not house, companies, education, all these things are good but the greatest is leading such a child to salvation and let him live his/her life. When God is in charge of your life, you do not need your parent's protection even as young as your are. I may have problem with the way they go about doing it, but i must tell you they are pushing for something that indeed you need as a young child. Having said that, you can actually do something. I do not subscribe to those ideas that you rebel against your parents, No dont do that. This post you put it here, are you sure if your mum or dad see it, it wont make any change in the way they go about this push ? My suggestion is, write a very comprehensive mail stating all these your worries, pains, fears and even blunt thoughts about wishing death could come due to this issue, and pass the letter either via email or hard copy telling them to take it easy as you have grown and they need to understand it may not be convenient to attend such fellowships all the time. Assure them you wish to make heaven and you are determine to work towards it but you need them to understand you have other very critical schedules like your studies and so on. which is not to mean you wont attend at all. Appeal to them and make them understand your plight respectfully. I pray God will guide you. |
Re: Help Me... My Mum Is Making Me Depressed. by sisisioge: 1:27pm On Dec 11, 2015 |
Fawklicant: You kinda have a point, fawk. I would run as far as my legs will take me until they get their senses back...that would happen when they take stock of their lives and holdings. We all need the family unit...pretty important. 1 Like |
Re: Help Me... My Mum Is Making Me Depressed. by onojemma: 2:00pm On Dec 11, 2015 |
nairalander2015: If you commit suicide,you will go to HELL STRAIGHT. I wish i had parents like yours.Its when you lose them that you will know wether they love you or not.When outsiders maltreat you,you will know the difference. Honour and respect them,except u don't want to live long.The bible says honour your father and mother. |
Re: Help Me... My Mum Is Making Me Depressed. by butterflyatalan: 2:50pm On Dec 11, 2015 |
M4gunners: Of cause, I get you. The white man always need someone to kiss their arrse, and you always do just that. Of course, I know black people like you. |
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