Yomieluv:
How do you handle a wife who connived with her father to buy a land without the consent of the hubby.

Acidosis:
Very very very wrong.

I won't accept that from my wife. Reason being that my partner whom I'm yet to take to the altar could not embark on a similar project without seeking my consent and my permission.


Even if the husband is as poor as a church rat, he still deserves that principal respect.

Some of the questions I would like to ask her include:

1. What's the land for? is it a gift to her dad?
2. How will you react if I get a car for my mother without your consent?
3. Who proposed the idea of getting a land? Wife or Father?


Her response would guide me on the next step to take.

eyinjuege:


Discussing with your spouse sounds better than obtaining consent from your spouse to do something positive for your own life.

Yeah, she ought to have discussed with hubby to let him know her plans, but who knows if their marriage isn't as sweet as they would have others believe.

Mindfulness:


@bold

What is the difference between 'spousal separation' and divorce?

tpiar:
So?

What should we do about it?

Or why are you having the heebie jeebies? Was it your father's property she bought?

Yomieluv:
How do you handle a wife who connived with her father to buy a land without the consent of the hubby.

olashas:
Op, you don't know the situation of things in your friend's home so you can't jump to conclusions. Maybe she does not trust her husband anymore. Maybe he is irresponsible.

I know someone who sent his wife away because she bought a plot of land and built on it. Funny enough, she told him about it before she bought the land. He regrets his decision now

fem29:


Yor fiancee would have to get your consent and permission to buy land?? . Real 1 chance

Acidosis:


Divorce is an example of spousal separation (a legal form).

Death is another form of spousal separation.

Acidosis:


In my family, you don't run a project and hide it from your spouse and children or refuse to seek their opinions.

I've long left my parents' home but I still have their ATM pin numbers for all accounts. The relationship is cordial and I hope to maintain the status quo.


I guess the word "permission" sounds too strict, but its not as stringent as it sounds in that context. It simply means, my fiancee seeks my opinion on vital issues regarding investment, management, etc..

She won't call me whether to eat eba or semo for dinner, but she'd ask if its wise to buy a plot of land in Mowe. The intention is not to fix my name on the land documents (It is her land), rather to seek the opinion of someone she sees as a mentor, a friend and a companion.

Acidosis:


In my family, you don't run a project and hide it from your spouse and children or refuse to seek their opinions.

I've long left my parents' home but I still have their ATM pin numbers for all accounts. The relationship is cordial and I hope to maintain the status quo.


I guess the word "permission" sounds too strict, but its not as stringent as it sounds in that context. It simply means, my fiancee seeks my opinion on vital issues regarding investment, management, etc..

She won't call me whether to eat eba or semo for dinner, but she'd ask if its wise to buy a plot of land in Mowe. The intention is not to fix my name on the land documents (It is her land), rather to seek the opinion of someone she sees as a mentor, a friend and a companion.

fem29:


Yes you are right, permission was too stringent a word. The fact is that although your explanation sounds much more reasonable and sane , the fact is that you said she must seek your permission AND consent.

Please remove this kind of thinking if yo want to have a happy and fulfilled marriage. Enter into marriage without the thought that your wife is below you. Yes it would be nice, in an ideal world of your wife to discuss with you openly and if she doesn't, you need to ask yourself and her why she doesn't feel comfortable discussing it with you

Mindfulness:


Whether you divorce your wife or separate from her, without going through the process of divorce, the end result is the same, is it not?

Acidosis:


Actually, the ideal of seeking opinion is a mutual thing. On many occasions, I have equally sought her opinion.

Acidosis:


The end result is not the same.

Marrying a woman who has not been legally separated from her husband is suicidal and risky.

You've not only committed a huge sin against your creator, you've equally snatched another man's wife.

fem29:


If this is the true then that is great, please keep it up. Opinion and advice is different to permission

Marriage should as much as possible be a partnership. Not a dictatorship. Especially if you are marrying nowadays, us modern women don't plat dat shite . I understand that sometimes the husband as the head has to have the final say, but you must always carry your wife along and make sure that all decisions you make are for the good of the family

Mindfulness:




I thought the husband separated from her (=left) because she made a purchase without telling him.

Acidosis:


Yes the husband can 'leave', while hoping that the wife will come back for reconciliation.

Mindfulness:


So the husband left to reconcile later?

Acidosis:


Yes, a good wife who is still interested in the marriage will call her husband for reconciliation. She has a choice [s]between a happy home or a sad one.[/s]

Mindfulness:

A few corrections.

Yomieluv:
I am a rapid dog.

Abeg I swerve.

babygirlfl:
I always discuss ( not take his consent permission) with my hubby when I want to embark on such a huge project. I think it's the right thing to do in MY case.

We have heard of women who heard about their husbands property from someone else. To such women, I support you in buying one without his knowledge. You are just a good wife following the good example of the head of the family.

We have heard of women whose husband built in his name alone. To such women I say build one in your name alone.

Are people actually surprised that these things are happening in marriages? As long as the number of years of marriage is more important than the quality of marriage in Nigeria, we will keep seeing single married people.

Acidosis:
Very very very wrong.

I won't accept that from my wife. Reason being that my partner whom I'm yet to take to the altar could not embark on a similar project without seeking my consent and my permission.


Even if the husband is as poor as a church rat, he still deserves that principal respect.

Some of the questions I would like to ask her include:

1. What's the land for? is it a gift to her dad?
2. How will you react if I get a car for my mother without your consent?
3. Who proposed the idea of getting a land? Wife or Father?


Her response would guide me on the next step to take.

babygirlfl:
I always discuss ( not take his consent permission) with my hubby when I want to embark on such a huge project. I think it's the right thing to do in MY case.

We have heard of women who heard about their husbands property from someone else. To such women, I support you in buying one without his knowledge. You are just a good wife following the good example of the head of the family.

We have heard of women whose husband built in his name alone. To such women I say build one in your name alone.

Are people actually surprised that these things are happening in marriages? As long as the number of years of marriage is more important than the quality of marriage in Nigeria, we will keep seeing single married people.

JustHere2Observ:

Izzit ya money? Church rat hubby no get right abeg.

JustHere2Observ:

Izzit ya money? Church rat hubby no get right abeg.