I wish you all a wonderful, prosperous and peaceful 2016.

Before I get to the crux of the matter, let me begin by giving a little introduction about myself. I am in my early thirties. I have seen the good, bad, and ugly part of life. My early childhood was really good. My parents were not rich but we were comfortable. During my primary school days, I had the privilege of attending one of the best primary schools in the state. Things changed during towards the end of my primary education, and got worse when I lost my dad in secondary school. I will not bore you with so much details. I completed my secondary education by God’s grace but it was not easy, I must confess. After some years, I gained admission into the university. I struggled financially in the first couple of years of my program. I am currently a PhD student in North America.

Due to the experience I had growing up, I was not involved in a serious relationship with anyone in my university days even though I had very good female friends who some people presumed we were dating. The reason is that I knew I had a long way to go before settling down and there was no need for me to waste someone else’s time or making promises I cannot keep. I believe I will get a good person when I am closer to my destination. I also wanted to “put some things in place” before getting married because I don’t want my immediate family or kids in the future to face the same challenge as I did.

I am looking to settle soon but the issue is that most of the ladies I have been meeting here appear to have a parallel lifestyle to mine. I am not castigating them but I have observed that most of them have been influenced by the western. They drink alcohol, dress shabbily, have more than one piercing in their ears. I remember one of them attending a church service last month and was not comfortable in her short dress. She was ashamed to go towards the altar when it was time to give offering. A couple of days ago, while discussing with one of the ‘single’ ladies she said whoever she will get married to MUST be rich. She also said her flat mate has same resolution.

Friends in Nigeria have been making recommendations but I have been wary of such recommendations.

Do you reckon it is worth trying or too risky considering the fact that I may not have more than one or two physical contact with the person if I eventually walk the aisle? Are good single independent ladies almost extinct?

Thank you all for you matured contributions!

OP, What's The Problem? You are Not RICH?


& No! They Are Not Extinct, "Single & Independent" Ladies are Everywhere.

RexKex:
OP, What's The Problem? You are Not RICH?

Many thanks for your contribution!

I won't say I am rich at the moment but I will say I am trying. I am grateful for how God has helped me and my family in the past years.

There are cases where recommendation can be a viable option and lead to blissful union but there are some where it backfired. I think the recommendation exercise is an obsolete practice but which had high success rates owing to the fact that humans were less greedy and had more sense of family values at that time.

In the past, people were committed, resilient and determined to make their marriages work even when faced with stringent conditions. But sadly, new generation youngsters and couples thinks differently. We're more concern about the positives and not ready to face unfavourable conditions. In view of this I don't think recommendation is in concord with today's society.

You have to settle for someone you meet yourself and date them for a long while to ascertain the compatibility of you both. You can travel to Nigeria, get yourself a girlfriend by yourself and see how it goes with time. True, they're more cool headed than their Nigerian counterpart born abroad but some of them can also be devious too.

Also, don't be surprised by the Nigerian ladies abroad who said they can't date anyone who isn't rich. That's the average mindset of the Nigerian woman so whether you travel home to find a bride or not they all think like that. I can relate with your situation coz I'm in same scrape as well.

ronald4lif:
There are cases where recommendation can be a viable option and lead to blissful union but there are some where it backfired. I think the recommendation exercise is an obsolete practice but which had high success rates owing to the fact that humans were less greedy and had more sense of family values at that time.

In the past, people were committed, resilient and determined to make their marriages work even when faced with stringent conditions. But sadly, new generation youngsters and couples thinks differently. We're more concern about the positives and not ready to face unfavourable conditions. In view of this I don't think recommendation is in concord with today's society.

You have to settle for someone you meet yourself and date them for a long while to ascertain the compatibility of you both. You can travel to Nigeria, get yourself a girlfriend by yourself and see how it goes with time. True, they're more cool headed than their Nigerian counterpart born abroad but some of them can also be devious too.

Also, don't be surprised by the Nigerian ladies abroad who said they can't date anyone who isn't rich. That's the average mindset of the Nigerian woman so whether you travel home to find a bride or not they all think like that. I can relate with your situation coz I'm in same scrape as well.

Many thanks for your contribution! It is apt.