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I'm 27 as this may be useful in ur advise

nwaanyioma:

I met this guy in one the online dating site while i was living in Japan. We started talking and fell in love with each other though he told me that he's divorced without kids. He lives in US but visited me so many times untill i got pregnant. I informed him and wanted to abort it but he pleaded i shouldnt kill the baby since we were going to get married within 3 months.
After 3 months he prostponed it to another 3 months untill it became late for me to abort the baby. I decided to relocate to Nigeria cus it would be too stressful to have the baby in Japan since i have no one to take care of me. To my surprise, he stopped calling and caring the way he used to do the moment i came back to Nigeria, It was a tough time for me, even when the doc told me i was going to have CS. I was so scared and needed some encouragement from him but he never cared.

Finally , i had my child successfully and he came back after 3 weeks but spent only a day with me and the baby. He was so happy but his interest is just on this baby alone, Now, the baby is 1 yr old. He sends me money for her upkeep but dont ever want to talk about relationship with me again, all he's interested in now is my daughter. He called me sometime and asked[b] if i can allow him adopt the baby but i disagreed. [/b]
I've also found out that none of his family members knows about our relationship and the baby.

Now, my heart break is that i made some search on facebook and saw him with his wife. They have been married for more than 10yrs without a child. They dont live together presently but they're still married. I also saw his brothers and sisters on facebook.
Please help me, I have made the mistake of falling for a stranger (just because i trusted him and beleived all he told me)how do i handle this now? I'm so heart broken but i dont want him to stop taking care of the baby

Will his wife not find out??

Anyway, Move forward. Forget about the man and take care of your child. Like U stated the man is married. He is not gonna leave his wife and come to Nigeria to be with U.

Well, i think it's time for you to step up, for your daughter and yourself. You don't need anyone to tell you now that you were a pawn and you better get used to people seeing you as gullible because these are facts you should have looked into first hand. If you still want some kind of relationship, step up now and ask for it, and if it's not offered, move on with your life. Find the strength through God and look after your daughter and yourself. Don't make the mistake of waiting around for him to do right by you, you might end up at 37yrs old still waiting and very bitter.

its so sad, the bastard played you big time!

4get him and carry your cross.

He's bad news. Find a real man.

i know its not going to be that easy, but jst try to move on with ur life. GOD is going to help u 4get him as fast as possible.

Thank you all for the advise,  nairaland have always been so helpful

The fact is that he still think i dont know he's married.  Do i have to tell him now and what's the best way to go about this ?

Tell him what you know, tell him how you feel and resolve to do better for yourself. If you can't call, send an email/ msg on Face book, whateva. The point is get the ball rolling, open the lines of communication. Don't sit by your bedside waiting for his reply, start thinking of how you're going to move forward. If he's on board to help with his child, then that's wonderful! But if he's all about making up stories and excuses and wants to revisit the issue of adoption, then be strong, if not for yourself, then for your child. You can't bring a child into the world and not step up and be responsible for her welfare.

i blame you poster for this why are you having no condom sex with a dude who is not marrying you. you got pregnant and he still didnt marry you and you still had the baby now you are here looking for sympathy.
This should learn ya, freak a guy all you want but at least you some form of birth control. Now you will harras the man until his marriage breaks up and even if that happens he still wouldn't marry you.


moral of the story a man would do and say anything to get some azz always protect your self because you have to carry that baby and if the guy runs you have to raise that baby.

u r officially on ur on, move on

uhmnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
good thing ure just 27, still young, let him continue to be involved with his child but DONT ACT LIKE YOU NEED HIM OR U'RE STILL AT A STAND STILL WITH YOUR LIFE
but you need to get on with yours. all the best

Girl, the guy simply used you to have a baby. Wont be surprised if it was all planed with the wifey knowing about it,if not why is she not raising dust? How come he wants to adopt the child? Girl you need to wise up.

I wonder what people intend to achieve by deceiving people, anyone could have fallen into d same cheap trap, but where i blame you is letting yourself get preg in first instant.

You probably thought to fast track things?

The did has be done --- stand up for urself and your daughter

Forget the bitch, but b4 doing that., confront him on your finding and allow him eat his shame as u do that

The law of karma surely awaits him, no escape

If by a miracle or something his wife conceives,his concern for his baby
will cease.Too bad u fell so cheap for dis cheat.

Pick up ur pieces and move on.

Thank you guys , i appreciate all your response and have learn to move on
. It's all my fault

hmmm . . . . . o ma se

hi, princesa, i just want to say hi cuz m new here, watsup?

uhm . . . . .
welcome then
is that our picture

mugu must fall
when will people learn?

well i really want to known u
because i think there is some thing i need to get 4rm u am best by name u can email me on best.rest63@yahoo.com
thank good day

nwaanyioma:

I met this guy in one the online dating site while i was living in Japan.  We started talking and fell in love with each other though  he told me that he's divorced without kids. He lives in US but visited me so many times untill i got pregnant. I informed him and wanted to abort it but he pleaded i shouldnt kill the baby since we were going to get married within 3 months.
After 3 months he prostponed it to another 3 months untill it became late for me to abort the baby. I decided to relocate to Nigeria cus  it would be too stressful  to have the baby in Japan since i have no one to take care of me. To my surprise,  he stopped calling and caring  the way he used to do the moment i came back to Nigeria,  It was a tough time for me,  even when the doc told me i was going to have CS. I was so scared and needed some encouragement from him but he never cared.

Finally , i had my child successfully and he came back after 3 weeks  but spent only a day with me and the baby. He was so happy  but his  interest is just on this baby alone,  Now, the baby is 1 yr old. He sends me money for her upkeep but dont ever want to talk about relationship with me again,  all he's interested  in now is my daughter.  He called me sometime and asked if i can allow him adopt the baby but i disagreed.
I've  also found out that none of his family members knows about our relationship and the baby.

Now, my heart break is that i made some search on facebook and saw him with his wife. They have been married for more than 10yrs without a child. They dont live together presently but they're still married. I also saw his brothers and sisters on facebook.
Please help me,  I have made the mistake of falling for a stranger (just because i trusted him and beleived all he told me)how do i handle this  now? I'm so heart broken but i dont want him to stop taking  care of the baby

You've made your mistake,hopefully you've learned from it.
Take care of your daughter and move on.
Forget about that loser.
Some of these deceptive men would use the daughter excuse to string you along and would want to continue a sexual relationship with you when he feels like it.
You should be wise
Let him take care of his daughter financially and have nothing to do with him.
If you think you can't handle it emotionally,cut off all ties with him entirely.
You can do it
There are many single mothers doing a fantastic job.
You too can
I don't believe you're a bad pesron for having a baby out of wedlock.
We all make mistakes.
I wish you the very bestYour name Nwanyioma says a lot about u

You've made your mistake,hopefully you've learned from it.
Take care of your daughter and move on.
Forget about that loser.
Some of these deceptive men would use the daughter excuse to string you along and would want to continue a sexual relationship with you when he feels like it.
You should be wise
Let him take care of his daughter financially and have nothing to do with him.
If you think you can't handle it emotionally,cut off all ties with him entirely.
You can do it
There are many single mothers doing a fantastic job.
You too can
I don't believe you're a bad pesron for having a baby out of wedlock.
We all make mistakes.
I wish you the very bestYour name Nwanyioma says a lot about u

Sure i learnt from my mistake and have moved on. Honestly, you make me feel better and stronger. Thanks a million!