I am happy that I will not wait for anyone to take me abroad. I spearhead my sh!ts not the other way round. No time to wait for anybody.

abbey621:


I've been living in Atlanta since 2010 so spare me the lecture! My father came to the USA in the 1980s living behind my mom and 2 children. Before he left 9ja, we were all living in a face me and face you house struggling to survive, he just lost his job with NEPA and things were very difficult, imagine what would have happened if he had refused to use his Oluwole visa and chose to stay back in Nigeria? Yes, he suffered a great deal abroad including marrying an obese woman just to get his papers but it all worked out in the end. It took 6 to 7 years for him to fully get himself and in the 10th year he brought my mom to the USA. Looking at their net worth today, I would say they are valued at over 1/2 a billion naira collectively and all was through hard work. My brother and I had to live without both parents for some time but in the end, we are all successful living life to the fullest. What would have happened if dad chose comfort instead of hustling? Be careful how you to talk to people on the internet, some people have been through more than you can ever imagine!

No offence dude. But you're supporting what your father did? It was both illegal and morally wrong yet you support it just because he made some money out of it?

Hmmmmm........

daretodiffer:




She didn't know you are an infidel either...abegi move along

What matters is depositing seeds in you to prevent Taliban increase ...

praxisnetworks:

What matters is depositing seeds in you to prevent Taliban increase ...

That would impossible. We can't wait to produce enough kids that would kill all infidels.

Ode!

icedbeatz:
onye oma ekele kwa'm gi, ana emekwa? As for the hunter's enhanced skills i think it's better than the potential news flash of " a husband clubbed his wife to death" and other mind buggling news of what 9ja men who were frustrated by their wives end up doing to the wives. Let's recall the line in the bible that says if your left hand would lead you to hell cut it off so in other words the hunters are adhering to the words of the lord hahahaha. Since bringing one's wife over is a potential risk of turning your good life to hell then it's not worth it.

Odogwu, ana'm ekene kwa gi. Amaghi di'm na ibu nwa afor sef. You said it right. Rather than here stories that touches the heart by bringing the women abroad and start clashing a lot of the men prefers to leave them in Naija. Adiro eji ife ana eti na anya etie na n'imi. Mbanu.

daretodiffer:


That would most welcome. I can't wait to produce enough kids that would kill all extremists!

Fixed!

praxisnetworks:


Fixed!

I don't understand you


I thought you called me a tTliban

jashar:



No offence dude. But you're supporting what your father did? It was both illegal and morally wrong yet you support it just because he made some money out of it?

Hmmmmm........

Morality and legality are secondary to survival! For example if an armed robber points a gun to your head and asked you to sleep with your neighbor, would you refuse on the grounds of morality or would you obey the last order? If you had a child with an illness and the hospital are asking for 1 million Naira for the operation with the only way of getting such money is to sell a land that belongs to your junior sister, would you sell it knowing you can always ask for forgiveness or would you let your child die? Forget this morality crap, real people do whatever it takes totake care of those they love!

daretodiffer:


I don't understand you


I thought you called me a tTliban

Bae how can I?..... I no fit o
Werrin you find go Islam section?

abbey621:


I've been living in Atlanta since 2010 so spare me the lecture! My father came to the USA in the 1980s living behind my mom and 2 children. Before he left 9ja, we were all living in a face me and face you house struggling to survive, he just lost his job with NEPA and things were very difficult, imagine what would have happened if he had refused to use his Oluwole visa and chose to stay back in Nigeria? Yes, he suffered a great deal abroad including marrying an obese woman just to get his papers but it all worked out in the end. It took 6 to 7 years for him to fully get himself and in the 10th year he brought my mom to the USA. Looking at their net worth today, I would say they are valued at over 1/2 a billion naira collectively and all was through hard work. My brother and I had to live without both parents for some time but in the end, we are all successful living life to the fullest. What would have happened if dad chose comfort instead of hustling? Be careful how you to talk to people on the internet, some people have been through more than you can ever imagine!

your story e get as e be.

abbey621:


Nope, he can't even remember her name. Omo Lasgidi we bad like that

why wouldnt he remember her name?

esere826:

Donald Trumps people

Good that you travel round the world meeting new and diverse cultures
nothing can take away from the joys of expanding ones world view beyond national barriers

overhyped.

tearoses:
The truth is that there is more to life than making money
Personally I don't see the point of having a family if you wont see them for more than a few weeks every few years
If the parent is dead, then that's a different thing.

The bitter thruth is that if you are travelling on a 6 months visiting visa with an aim to hustle, then you are on a long thing and you and your family must be prepared not to see each other for a long long time.

The problem is that People don't do their homework properly and just because John who travelled last year, sent a jeep home in 8 months and sent for his wife 2 months later they think Yes, they can do the same. Yet they don't know Johns circumstances.

Some people also don't look at the long term picture. All they think of is £ and $ and how to gleefully say "my husband is in the US" which to me is ridiculous if all you are getting from the marriage is Western Union payments every month while you are left lonely and being the husband and wife and mother and father to young kids. Is that what you signed up for?
The whole reasons why you got married; commitment, companionship, friendship, intimacy etc is not being fulfilled and All you are getting is money.


Many of these men have second lives abroad so they are enjoying the best of all worlds while the woman is struggling.

basically if you both don't sit down and have a plan and do your homework very well and gather enough information so you are making informed choices, [b]you may end up like one woman I know whose husband went abroad and to survive he went and married oyibo for papers, he comes home once every 2 years for a few weeks to get her pregnant then goes back and was always promising to come and get her.
She now has 4 kids.
Recently he doesn't even stay in his house when he comes. He claims the house is dirty and wife cant cook. says wife looks tired and unattractive (why wont she look older than her years when she is running around looking after his kids? Why wont the house be dirty? is he there to replace and do any maintenance on the house?
Anyway now he stays in hotels and with friends when he visits and doesn't go home.
Eventually says he is no longer interested in the woman but he said he wants to take his children with him abroad
Of course the children are on their dads side as they too want to travel
The wife is now left with absolutely NOTHING
she was better off marrying a struggling Nigerian who by now would have probably made it right there in Nigeria.

All that glitters is not gold.[/b]

What happened to her in the end?

bukatyne:


What happened to her in the end?

Nothing
no one to report him too. Even if she does report him, he is not in Nigeria to heed to anyone's calls.
There was no real close relationship that she can even remind him of
When the kids start going I wonder what will happen to her
I feel for her
She didn't get much out of this arrangement at all.

tpiar:


why wouldnt he remember her name?

Why should he remember? we talking about the 1980s here!

tearoses:


Nothing
no one to report him too. Even if she does report him, he is not in Nigeria to heed to anyone's calls.
There was no real close relationship that she can even remind him of
When the kids start going I wonder what will happen to her
I feel for her
She didn't get much out of this arrangement at all.

Very very sad.

ronald4lif:


Odogwu, ana'm ekene kwa gi. Amaghi di'm na ibu nwa afor sef. You said it right. Rather than here stories that touches the heart by bringing the women abroad and start clashing a lot of the men prefers to leave them in Naija. Adiro eji ife ana eti na anya etie na n'imi. Mbanu.

gba'm! o ka osi di nwanne'm, udo diri gi.

So , it means that some people will not travel abroad because they dont want to miss their loved one.
You can live with your partner in Nigeria and he /she can still be cheating.
You can live together abroad and one of you can still be cheating.
The bottom line in a relationship is Trust and Faithfulness.
If you leave your wife behind and travel abroad and she is flirting around in Nigeria,she is a great loser.
She is losing everlasting freedom to travel round the world visa-free,£1=400,good health care,good transport system,better future etc.
If a lady is unfaithful to Mr Andrew-who checked out-her mind will be with the secret lover and less interest in UK/USA.
A well known person to me who would not like to leave partner behind has now agreed to Check -Out all alone.

I can never be in such marriage arrangement.. Cause of the emotional trauma I see kids from such home go through. Calling any male stranger they see with mum, calling him daddy.. It's so sad, but those innocent kids suffer for it. God forbid I marry such man.. Na divorce straight immediately I realise he's not taking us with him.. It's over. Wives in such scenarios, I duff my hats to u all.. Mehn, hell no!
Lemme struggle with my man here in nija so how kids will become fully stable, mentally and otherwise..
There's a sixty year old cleaner I know, she's still hoping, waiting for her husband to come carry them abroad with their grown up kids. And they were Married for the past 35years, they lived apart 30years.. She's still waiting, hoping one day he come home.. He calls her once a year on phone... Can u beat that.. I really pity the woman she looks so worn out, and still doing cleaning job.. While he mates are settled in a comfortable duplex built together by their husbands who struggled with them here in nija.. I have no words for that old lady

I can never be in such marriage arrangement.. Cause of the emotional trauma I see kids from such home go through. Calling any male stranger they see with mum, calling him daddy.. It's so sad, but those innocent kids suffer for it. God forbid I marry such man.. Na divorce straight immediately I realise he's not taking us with him.. It's over. Wives in such scenarios, I duff my hats to u all.. Mehn, hell no!
Lemme struggle with my man here in nija so how kids will become fully stable, mentally and otherwise..
There's a sixty year old cleaner I know, she's still hoping, waiting for her husband to come carry them abroad with their grown up kids. And they were Married for the past 35years, they lived apart 30years.. She's still waiting, hoping one day he come home.. He calls her once a year on phone... Can u beat that.. I really pity the woman she looks so worn out, and still doing cleaning job.. While her mates are settled in a comfortable duplex built together by their husbands who struggled with them here in nija.. I have no words for that old lady

EggovinMma:
Good one.
Worst is such men are busy enjoying with several girls out there while the innocent young wife spends time nurturing her wet urges.

Nonsense! Abeg body to be firewood o, Afam can still lend a helping hand if he doesn't mind *winks*


Afterall father Emeka is still at the parish. K'anyi gaba nu confession! !

do women have wet urges. most of the time y'all complaining of headache,tiredness stress, career, low libido or some other ish

tearoses:


Nothing
no one to report him too. Even if she does report him, he is not in Nigeria to heed to anyone's calls.
There was no real close relationship that she can even remind him of
When the kids start going I wonder what will happen to her
I feel for her
She didn't get much out of this arrangement at all.

there is something wrong with ur story ,I am still searching for it though.not that it is false but there is something fishy about the said woman.

onatisi:
there is something wrong with ur story ,I am still searching for it though.not that it is false but there is something fishy about the said woman.

I said it as I saw it
Obviously there would have been a lot more going on between them

However out of sight makes it easier to be out of mind
When a couple is not together, the bonding between the couple is affected and those small jokes, laughs, continuity, touch and intimacy is not there to keep the spark alive.

I don't believe that Marriage is intended just for sending money to pay bills and birthing kids

The man was getting warmth and all the other advantages of marriage from another woman abroad and was only speaking to his wife over the phone and sees her only once every 2 years?

The woman too for 23 months she is running the home single-handedly without the man and that has also probably changed her to a stronger and tougher woman than the woman that he left behind and maybe he cant deal with that. I dont know

But it wasnt an ideal situation to start with and with a very sad ending.
The man travelled shortly after they married so There was nothing really they were building on

tearoses:



. says wife looks tired and unattractive (why wont she look older than her years when she is running around looking after his kids? Why wont the house be dirty? is he there to replace and do any maintenance on the house?

.

How does a man staying at home makes a woman tidy the house?
Does the presence of a man at home makes a woman look more attractive ?
I still have a lot of questions to ask but o think this 2 will open up a vista of more

I just wonder how the wife copes. Reminds me of my ex- flat mate that got pregnant for a guy when she travelled home for christmas 2014 by she found out she was pregnant in February and the guy married a Briton (which he had told her about) around march for residency as his stay had expired (he had been there for some years).

The guy said he would come in august to complete their marriage rights and to visit and of course he didn't/couldn't .

She had the baby early October and when I went to visit her she was like yetseyi I cant encourage anybody to enter a long distance relationship/marriage that she was the only one no emotional support. She was sick during pregnancy one particular evening and no one to help her(I had moved out and relatives are in the east)

The guy is sending cash, she has a good job but theres something missing. Her own case is even different because she is not yet legally married to the guy yet.

There's also the December marriage guys, they come for Christmas see a girl in village complete the rights of marriage,spend two weeks with her, return in January and wont come back for the next five years or come every December. If wifey gets pregnant she does everything alone if she's not pregnant she stays alone, bros would have been married to another person for papers. If he comes home the next time he gets her pregnant again she does all alone and the cycle continues.

Leaving your family and coming back after a specified time can still be managed e.g the man goes for a masters or Phd but all this I want to go and hustle things is a no no. I believe the woman loses more. I am not even really a fan of going abroad to hustle(especially when one knows he doesn't have the right papers).If its for schooling, visiting, business etc but all this travelling with no direction I honestly do not believe in it.

onatisi:

How does a man staying at home makes a woman tidy the house?
Does the presence of a man at home makes a woman look more attractive ?
I still have a lot of questions to ask but o think this 2 will open up a vista of more

You are asking the wrong person
The hubby and wifey have all the answers
Read Yetseyis post and you will get a feel for what really happens

In many cases these foreign women are getting clever too and are playing the men at their own game and having kids for the man and running a family with him.
The man has a full family abroad and so his priority's are more towards the family he lives with, interacts with and sees every day
He has more in common with them than his wife in Nigeria that he sees once a year.
He also cant afford to divorce them or he pays hefty child support and alimony so they behave themselves.

Many of these "I only married her for papers" are just said to make the wife at home feel good and put her mind at rest that she wont be finally abandoned but the reality is very different.

tearoses:


You are asking the wrong person
The hubby and wifey have all the answers
Read Yetseyis post and you will get a feel for what really happens

In many cases these foreign women are getting clever too and are playing the men at their own game and having kids for the man and running a family with him.
The man has a full family abroad and so his priority's are more towards the family he lives with, interacts with and sees every day
He has more in common with them than his wife in Nigeria that he sees once a year.
He also cant afford to divorce them or he pays hefty child support and alimony so they behave themselves.

Many of these "I only married her for papers" are just said to make the wife at home feel good and put her mind at rest that she wont be finally abandoned but the reality is very different.

You aren't getting me. I have even left those couple issue and I only asked a general question .i want to have women's view and opinion on my questions. Does a man presence in a house or home makes a woman to tend to herself in order to look attractive? And does a man presence at home makes a woman psychologically balanced to make the home neat and tidy?

onatisi:

You aren't getting me. I have even left those couple issue and I only asked a general question .i want to have women's view and opinion on my questions. Does a man presence in a house or home makes a woman to tend to herself in order to look attractive? And does a man presence at home makes a woman psychologically balanced to make the home neat and tidy?

You misunderstood me. It wasn't about her psychological state.

What the man was complaining about was that the place looked tatty
When minor minor things stop working & need repairs if they are not done in time, it gets worse and in time becomes an eyesore.
With a man around, he can see the things that need repairing/replacing and he makes arrangements for these to be done.

As regards attractiveness and tending to oneself, we are all different. Some people dress well and look good regardless of if they live alone or not and some don't bother too much when they know that they don't have anyone to dress up for. Its a personal choice and everyone is different. Some people live with their husbands and still tie dirty wrapper and wear worn out hair net all the time.

tearoses:


You misunderstood me. It wasn't about her psychological state.

What the man was complaining about was that the place looked tatty
When minor minor things stop working & need repairs if they are not done in time, it gets worse and in time becomes an eyesore.
With a man around, he can see the things that need repairing/replacing and he makes arrangements for these to be done.

As regards attractiveness and tending to oneself, we are all different. Some people dress well and look good regardless of if they live alone or not and some don't bother too much when they know that they don't have anyone to dress up for. Its a personal choice and everyone is different. Some people live with their husbands and still tie dirty wrapper and wear worn out hair net all the time.

Now I am learning . I wish other women too can contribute and share their own opinion