There are a ton of myths about women out there, but with some hard work over the past few decades, I've been able to bust a lot of them. Thank God society knows that they ‎actually poop and orgasm. Not simultaneously though... unless it's a really good one

But when it comes to some of the other things women do in private, there's still an unspoken rule that they remain, well, unspoken. Well, let's break down those barriers, because we're probably all doing the same freaky, gross solo stuff anyway‎s. 

If you're a guy, get ready to be educated. If you're a girl, get ready to relate. Here are the weird-ass things all girls do or have done, but that no one wants to talk about.

1. Trying to get that perfect butt pic for like 15 minutes 

Understand that this wasn't some quick snap-and-send. It took time, effort, lighting changes, and weird contortions. Nothing that looks that good was taken on the first try. No wonder cruzita and kashbaby own also look perfect‎

2. Watching themselves cry in the mirror‎

Women don't do this every time, but sometimes it's nice. They're partially curious to see if they're pretty or ugly criers, but it's also like having a very empathetic friend who knows exactly what you're going through.

3. Just chill with our hands down out pants

Guys always do this, but so do girls when they're alone or around people they're really comfortable with. For them, it's like having a nice hand warmer. Like a mitt if you will...

4. Trying to lick their own nipples

It doesn't feel as good as when someone else does it, but they've all tried it. It's kind of weirdly comforting because it's like being an infant and a mother at the same time. OK, that's really weird.

5. Making noises with the sanitary disposal container in the bathroom to mask our pooping sounds

Women do this when someone is in the stall next to us. Probably everyone knows they're pooping, but covering up the noises creates a safe space that allows em to relax... thier sphincter. Because the very worst is when your sphincter is being a Shy Sheila.

6. Lying that they're done with their period. 

It's like the last day, it's barely there, and they want sex. As long as they're careful, you'll never know. Muahhahah!

If they ever turn down head, that's basically a dead giveaway. 

7. Trying to pee in a drinking glass and/or Tupperware container. 

Women just want to know what it's like to be a man, and this is one of the closest experiences they will have. Most of em learn that they really have to get the right angle or risk peeing all over their hands and immediate surroundings.‎

8. Thinking about having sex with someone we're not remotely attracted to and regretting it

That includes their boyfriend's dad. Maybe even his mother...

Sometimes you see someone and your mind wanders to places that you cannot control!

‎

9. Playing with their boobs when they're bored

Cupping them together and trying to eat things out of the hollow, making farting noises with them, slapping them, trying to make their nipples look like mrphyno, Evathyst‎ or prettythicksme belly buttons. Yeah, basically they've done it all
‎
10. Spending 10 minutes trying to pluck one stray eyebrow hair that no one can even see

Ever wonder why they take so long in the bathroom? It's not always an eyebrow hair, either. It can also be nipple, chin, or upper lip.

11. Watching porn to get in the mood before you come over

Sometimes they just aren't feeling it, but they know the guy will be. So before the dude get to their house, kushbaby or Lavede put on a little something, and usually it works. Especially if it features Hercules or weirder a goat. ‎

12. When they get home, the bra is the first thing to come off

Scratching the boobs after they've been stuck in a sweaty under-wired cage all day is heaven. 

13. Feeling proud that they've slept with more people than you‎

They probably tried to act bashful or embarrassed and said something like "I'm really not that kind of girl, though." Secretly, they are actually quite self-satisfied, otherwise they would have lied about the number. Later, they probably bragged to their friends that they had more kills than you.

14. Imagining something other than guys during sex

It doesn't mean that they aren't attracted to you (guys) or that they aren't into what you're currently doing, but they usually need a little something more in the mental image department to finish it off. 

And I'm not talking the stereotypical nairaland girls fantasy involving seeing how naijaboy face look when pooping or d looks on lalasticlala face when fart in public, It's probably something pretty freaky or even gross; maybe involves irunooboo domination on public transport with a horse, maybe an octopus, or stupidity washing his girlfriend pants on third mainland bridge. Who knows?

15. Smelling thier own farts

Everyone one does this when they're alone, even girls. Sometimes they even reposition emselves when they feel one coming so that it doesn't create a weird fart bubble that goes up into their vajayjays.‎

16. Smelling the crotch of their workout clothes to see if it smells

Most of the time they do not care for the odor that emanates from their post-workout spandex leggings, but, once its a while, they are odorless. When this happens it's all worth it, because when your Vàginà just spent 2 hours sweating in non-breathable material and it does not smell like old cheese and Tilapia fish, you feel like Wonder Woman.

Pennah:
Op deserves something how do u c

Decades of experience man, decades, lol

Lol. Done 1,2,4,6,12,15 and 16. Most especially 15. There are times I just enjoy dat yeye smell and chill alone in d midst of d odor. I also pull my lil broda's hand to my ass and fart on it. Lol

Really

no15 so true .when I don chop rubbish too much ,when I commot the thing na so I go position yansh the way I go perceive am wella

Hnmm

G0ldcircle:
Lol. Done 1,2,4,6,12,15 and 16. Most especially 15. I also pull my lil broda's hand to my ass and fart on it. Lol

Loolv , you literally 15 on ur Lil bro? Señorita, dats wicked

G0ldcircle:
Lol. Done 1,2,4,6,12,15 and 16. Most especially 15. I also pull my lil broda's hand to my ass and fart on it. Lol

you are on point.I did same to my Iil sis

cruzita:
you are on point.I did same to my Iil sis

Hahaha. I always hold my fart if it wants to pop out, then I hold his hand and wen his mind isn't dere, puuuuuuuuuum!!!!! His own is to fart smelly and wicked fart in front of me and run. He can't hold my hand cos I go just know. Lol

Dongreat:


Loolv , you literally 15 on ur Lil bro? Señorita, dats wicked

Its fun o! After doing it he screams and runs off to wash his hand and start asking to use my perfume.

Lol I've done most of them though..*nd u forgot. To add ""holding our boobs when running down the stair's"" I do dis a lot

Lol, i always knew girls where just overgrown babies

Thanks for verifying that OP

G0ldcircle:
Lol. Done 1,2,4,6,12,15 and 16. Most especially 15. There are times I just enjoy dat yeye smell and chill alone in d midst of d odor. I also pull my lil broda's hand to my ass and fart on it. Lol

Your a*s hole go tear one day.
Naughty girl. Lol

*Spreads mat*


It's my friend Dongreat again!


Brb to comment, lemme finish eating this my sumptuous meal of yam & engine oil.


*Edited*

Number 12 & 15 does it for me. Whenever I get home after the day's work, my bra is the first thing that I get off me. Damn! I hate bras!


And whenever I'm alone, with my homies, or with my guy, I fart indiscriminately. Mehn! The feeling is 'heavenly'

Kai op

nyama

misspicy:
nyama

Lol. Pls Pick ur poison miss

ggrin:
Kai op

nah lie abi nah true? Lol

this is weird...I've done all except 4,7,8 and 13. lol. 5 is just the height...once went to poop in a friends house n his friends came in..mogbe! I had to improvise n wash the guys soaked shirts in the bathroom before I could come out.

Evathyst:
*Spreads mat*


It's my friend Dongreat again!


Brb to comment, lemme finish eating this my sumptuous meal of yam & engine oil.

Engine oil? Mogbe if u try am ur news nor go only make front page but CNN go broadcast am o

Dongreat:





nah lie abi nah true? Lol

99% true

MoNickk:
this is weird...I've done all except 4,7,8 and 13. lol. 5 is just the height...once went to poop in a friends house n his friends came in..mogbe! I had to improvise n wash the guys soaked shirts in the bathroom before I could come out.

Lmfsao *literally rolling on d floor* lool. D guy go think say u dey hard working not knowing say situation critical. Lmao. Narialander I hail

Dongreat:


Lmfsao *literally rolling on d floor* lool. D guy go think say u dey hard working not knowing say situation critical. Lmao. Narialander I hail

lol. n there was one guy I was crushing on there o...safe to say my crush ended that day.

MoNickk:
lol. n there was one guy I was crushing on there o...safe to say my crush ended that day.

Lool honestly babes u too much improvising. That means if there was no cloth 2 wash, u probably would hv washed the whole bathroom that day

Dongreat:


Lool honestly babes u too much improvising. That means if there was no cloth 2 wash, u probably would hv washed the whole bathroom that day

lol. maybe ooo

G0ldcircle:

Its fun o! After doing it he screams and runs off to wash his hand and start asking to use my perfume.

funny girl

G0ldcircle:
Lol. Done 1,2,4,6,12,15 and 16. Most especially 15. There are times I just enjoy dat yeye smell and chill alone in d midst of d odor. I also pull my lil broda's hand to my ass and fart on it. Lol

ur moniker tho

Nawa o

Hahahahahahahaha....Op spot on,cant say I've done all though..

holy shit








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Fourwinds:
funny girl

lol