T. Porter:


And may be i will put up some information for us all that has help our own marriage for others to learn too.

mem88: First of all, what do u mean by d word couples? I beleive dat there's no difference btw a married couple and a dating couple. Rather it shuld b maried and dating. i believe dat if both partners are meant 4 each other there shuld'nt b any difficulty or frowng and whateva if they are maried. D truth is dat many of us rush into mariage witout thinking or reasong abt d consequences ahead.

try69: MARRY A FRIEND IS THE SIMPLE ANSWER TO ALL THE MANY TALK..Same reason I encourage dating over a period{maybe a long period}.

try69: MARRY A FRIEND IS THE SIMPLE ANSWER TO ALL THE MANY TALK..Same reason I encourage dating over a period{maybe a long period}.

Ovaiegbe:
You could marry a friend and still have a clumsy marriage. There is a clear difference b/w dating and marriage. One has a responsibility level varying from zero to 80% while marriage on the other hand has a 100% responsibility level. If you are getting less in marriage then you can not be happy and smiling.

Mrs..Chima:
When my husband and I dated...we were dating other people. I believe that dating is not a relationship...it is a time where you are learning about the people and if the right person comes along then you become serious hence engagement.

I was dating another person when I met my husband and I do not believe in casual sex nor intimate encounters...I like knowing that I am disease free! Anyway...my husband was a celibate when he met me because he became a spiritual man and he wanted to start fresh with his future wife. We spend time knowing each other while still being us without titles and expectations that is when you have more fun and freedom.

We became serious and then our expectations grew and we no longer had freedom because we were engaged to be married but we still function the same way we did when we were dating except we are exclusive to each other.

I have no regrets marrying my husband and when I am without him I am incomplete because we are one and we thrive to make each other happy and comfortable. My husband is the bestest friend I ever had and when we are together in public...people always say we are sister and brother...(don't know what that mean but I will leave that alone) and say that they wish they had an intimate relationship like ours. Yes, we have our arguments but we listen to each other and express our opinions and then we come to a middle ground and move on.

Letting go silly shit is the key in marriage...if you forgive your partner...FORGIVE YOUR PARTNER WITHOUT HARPING ON IT LATER ON. If you can't forgive your partner...let him/her go. How can you expect couples to smile if they are not happy? Communicate, understand, compromise, relate, listen, respect, and be patience with one another.

Let silly shit go and move on to better things in your marriage that will bring a smile to your face.

okpara ugo:

I hear you. You took advantage of a celibate man. Okay.

serubawon:
Wow! The responses are completely across the board and honestly, it's only normal for peoples' views to be varied.

In my case, I got married in 1999. Before I met my late wife, I was just a disgrace to responsible manhood. Not that I slept with anything or everything in skirts, no, no. I'm very picky and I loved picking the very difficult ones. The challenge was always a rush for me. Thank God for His mercies. I got born again 3 years before I met my late wife and it helped a lot. For the 1st time in my life, I was dating someone and not having sex with her. It really helped our relationship grow and we could focus on the things that would make our marriage flourish in the future. Things like talking about everything and being honest to each other. The fact that we didn't have sex kind of built up her trust in me tremendously. She knew I wanted to have sex (sooo bad too), but she could see the determination that I would wait till marriage.

Lo and behold, on our wedding night, I found out that she was a virgin and that scared me a bit. I had done everything under the sun in the past. Now, I was scared that the sex was going to be boring because she didn't have any experience. WRONG!!!. God has a way of rewarding you when you've been obedient. Within 6 months, I was the one trying to play catch-up. I remember her telling me one time that she would do anything to ensure that I was satisfied sexually (and she did). Now, even when sex was not on our minds, we could talk and engage ourselves in almost anything because we had 3 years of courtship (without sex) that prepared us for the times when sex was not on the menu.

We were married 6 beautiful years and throughout that period, she would sit in the car the same way she used to sit when we were dating. Even on those times when I had a lot on my mind, she would through a piece of paper in my face while driving and tell me to stop frowning and I'd be smiling like a jackass. For those who think marriage is a curse or prison, I can tell you it's not. It's a wonderful thing when you marry your best friend and do it right.

Maybe that's why 8 years after her passing, I'm still un-married. It took me 7 years to find the right one and I'm going to make sure we do it right. We've been dating almost a year now and it's wonderful. First time I haven't had to compare someone with my late wife and that's a blessing on it's own.

So, what does this all mean? Marry your best friend that understands you in and out. The one that won't freak out when you do some stupid things every once in a while. The one that gives you the benefit of the doubt (even when you don't deserve it). I wish everyone the very best in their marital adventure.

bukatyne:


You have my respect.

God bless your new home and affliction will not rise a second time.