kamirun225:
then am a Virgin too

what do you mean "then", weren't you one already?

QueenValerie:
what do you mean "then", weren't you one already?

sorry dear... The "then" isnt relevant, I meant to say I am a Virgin guy..

QueenValerie:
hmmm

lol am serious, take away the "hmmm" biko!

Do I look like a bleeped?

kamirun225:
lol am serious, take away the "hmmm" biko!

Do I look like a bleeped?

Is that the way you tell,well I didn't know.
So just give someone a look over an see they're a virgin?
Wow.Amazin'

QueenValerie:
Is that the way you tell,well I didn't know.
So just give someone a look over an see they're a virgin?
Wow.Amazin'

would u like to find out

I'd love to find out if u are one if u ask me....

QueenValerie:
No sir.I don't believe I do.

aaight then... #smiles

Are you kidding? Always.

Before marriage, he says, lol. I like to know exactly how many chicks he's bagged, or not, plus the general context of said bagging before so much as considering him an option. I'd ask just like that, too: "So, um, how many chicks have you bagged?"

A lot of times, they'd get caught off gaurd by my phrasing or some of them for the fact that they've never been asked before, which I found odd af, but the vast majority of them were willing to oblige. At times, out of curiosity, I've asked about it with no intention whatsoever of dating the guy, to sorta take a guess and see where I land. If he declines disclosure, I'd respect it - no pressure or any other word of it, but also no option.

Why? Because the past is not "just the past", IMHO. I don't believe that for a second. Sure, your past doesn't define you, but it's a significant part of your journey and it paints a more accurate picture of where you've been and where you're headed than anything you could possibly articulate on your own w/o giving due context. I don't judge/shame virgins or judge/slut-shame manwhores. I just do what's best for me - I'm not going to take on anything I can't handle and to hell if I'm going to accept going in blind on anything in life.

You'd be surprised how much all the contents of the conversation, and the manner in which it was answered reveals. All context clues and cues you can pick on; their state of mind, the body language, any hint of bragging, shame, immaturity, lies and exaggeration. Plus, you get a sense of their sexuality and how they deal with it. Do they use it to deal with grief, stress, loniliness? What's their libido like? How free-spirited and/or secure they're. How they see sex and how sexually aware or unaware of themselves they may be. Do they have fetishes, fantasies, etc, you're not OK with? Is he/she still hung up on the EX?

I had this guy admit he's always been the most turned on by older women/cougars. I asked him if he's ever been with one.

"No", he says.

"Homie, do I look like a cougar?"

"No, buts.." and compliments, and then...a lightbulb moment. It was like the guy had had an epiphany right there on the spot.

"Yh, glad to help...you're welcome."

Obviously, this wouldn't be the only criteria or the most important, but it's fairly important and it's what you asked about. How do you know you're compatible if you're not aware of whether or not you're on the same page sexually? IMO, you're gambling if you don't. You're playing a wildcard. And I don't gamble.


The responses from the guys on here so far seem strangely defensive.

Lalasticlala, push the thread to front page because of enlightenedsoul's comment.