lalasticlala:
I got this mail from a Nairalander.

See the unedited mail after the cut..

Please, read and advise him..


[b]"I've been a guest at NL for a while, I just joined yesterday (Sunday) because I think I'm really in need of your advice.
I am one of those guys that do not believe is necessary for marriage or for a smooth (but advocate of understanding and sacrifice). I have been in this relationship for about 4 years. We've been strong together, and we were the admiration of very many while on campus, even much later, very many still wished they were like us. We planned on getting married last year, but my mom just didn't like her. My mom said she wasn't beautiful, and that she's not from our "class". The failure of our marriage plans caused a strain in my relationship with my mom, and also with my woman.
Although, I thought I was caused the hitch between my mom and my woman because of my insistence on marrying last year. This year, I tried to reconcile both, but it seems to becan almost-impossible task. My mom is impossible to deal with. I am confused!!!
Do I continue in with my woman (let the worse happen)?
Do I let her go (free her from my grip, yield to my mom)?
I'm so confused because I've never seen a woman with whom I am this much compatible. I have never seen a woman this decent, my brother told me I'd never get a girl like her if I lose her. Please advise me."[/b]

Pls release the "classless" "not beautiful" lady.4 years is a long time for any lady to waste in the name of relationship.

Let her go, so a fellow classless man can marry her

By the way,if you have told her your mother's stand and she didn't dump you since,then she is a nonentity!

Your mother is a potential murder-in-law

herboshedhe:

On point!!!
Are you married@agaraw u23?

single n searching
you go marry me?

jennyswt:


I'm sorry to say this but u r very archaic

thank u

agarawu23:
single n searching you go marry me?

God go provide for you o I no do bros

Your mothers has every reason to give you direction. Her look may not be the reason she is objecting to your marrying her. Find out the real reason.

Don't listen to all this people asking, "is it your mum she will live with, bla bla bla". You are bringing her into your own family.

What your mum is seeing you may not see it now. From the class thing, a girl can pretend till die to get her dream achieved. It take an old man to see what a child will not see when he slips into the bed of a woman.

Love maybe blind.

herboshedhe:

God go provide for you o
I no do bros

since she's nt frm Ur class, wil advise her 2 change her skul
...bk 2 Ur questn, rule numb 7 of d bro code, Neva argue wit Ur mom cos mama knws best

What class if i may ask? Class are those that marries this month and get divorced the next month, i guess thats the class his mother wants for him. For me, you should allow the girl to go her way and save her from life long pain that your mother will bring to her. Your mother may decides to go all out against her and you will not be able to stand by her. Girlfriend, if you want your life and happiness take a work from the guy as there is a man out there waiting to marry you for no long courtship. Forget about the four year you had together.

jejemanito:
Sigh

In the whole of mankind's history, never has it been heard that a father-in-law is against his son-in-law

Live and let live

Women, una wahala too much

You're absolutely very wrong!... My dad was against my fiance due to the same "class" issue.

gcode123:


Lol u think this is a yoruba movie? Ud be a mum someday too how comfy would u be if you son chooses his woman over u and disregards ur opinion and avoids you cos of a woman. This OP only has to lovingly convince his mum no matter how long it takes..... Plus its marriage 75% of em fail anyway (jes saying).

am already a mum,wateva makes my child happy am happy too.

gcode123:


Lol u think this is a yoruba movie? Ud be a mum someday too how comfy would u be if you son chooses his woman over u and disregards ur opinion and avoids you cos of a woman. This OP only has to lovingly convince his mum no matter how long it takes.....

considering the mum's reason,i dont think any sane man can let her woman go just like dat.

OP, DON NOT LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER. Follow your heart, if deep down inside you has that feeling that she is the one, then she probably is. After you get married, you go know say nobi class or fine face go make you as a man a happy man.

......and forget that "Class" talk, it has no bearing on who the lady trully is .. talking from experience on this one

Amhappy:


My dear it's not about surviving. Every woman's prayer is to enjoy her marriage. Even if you have the whole world,it is tough if you are cut off from your family because you will feel like an outcast esp in the villa.

Yes but its an easier journey if ur hubby has got ur back.

ritababe:
First of all your mother does not have the right to dictate to you who you will spend the rest of your life with is your life not hers, and if you decided to move on without her, you will be the one to suffer for the rest of your life not your mother,.
And again the beauty of a woman is inside not outside.

I wish you were right.

jejemanito:
Sigh

In the whole of mankind's history, never has it been heard that a father-in-law is against his son-in-law

Live and let live

Women, una wahala too much

I dey tell u women wahala too much

PresVA:
Just wondering how the lady's life would be if the guy goes on to marry her against his mum's wish...

It would be another MIL-DIL wahala. .

If u are the one marry her, my grandmum did the same to my uncle and he ended up with the wrong person (she didn't allow any of the family member to come close) get ur own house if u don't have one.... My 2kobo

Pls let me see the pictures of your mum and your sisters(if any) you can also include your wife's own.

blesoh:

considering the mum's reason,i dont think any sane man can let her woman go just like dat.

If he didnt consider letting go he wont have even put it here...
The only man who wont consider it is one who doesnt have that peculiar love a son has for his mother to make her happy no matter how ridiculous or immature her demand could seem. From womens perspective its a no brainer, but from the sons perspective he would consider deeply, just the way it is and will always be. Thank God you have a boy too, ud realise someday how deeply he loves you back for being his mum so much so no girl would be able to take your place if not for the fact the bible and societ says u have to live ur life

It's just very sad when I hear stories like this...

It's just like being between the devil and the deep blue sea. If u go ahead nd get married to this girl against ur mum's wishes,the marriage may be a turbulent one... Mother-in-law /daughter-in-law saga.. And u'll be affected in some ways too.. On the other hand, if u let her go, u just may have succeeded in letting go the best that could have ever happened to u...

The probable and less problematic thing would be to do every thing in ur powers to win ur mum over to ur side. In my opinion, there's more to what she feels about ur intended bride. Her not being classy and supposedly not beautiful may not be the real bone of contention for ur mum. As a son, u should be able to relate well with ur mum.... Try to find out what it is she has against ur woman and see if it's fixable.


Ur older bro is already on ur side.. That's a plus. But in all, try not to disregard ur mum, except she starts acting really uncanny.

hmmm... Mother and daughter in-law palava is not easy. Open talk and understanding with your mum should get somewhere.




A friend of mine was telling me that if you want to bring your wife to be to their family, she must be beuatiful if she is not, na F9 oooo....

this thread reminds me of a nollywood movie I watched when I was in jss 3.

world's apart.

I recall liz Benson telling her son not to marry ini edo because of her perceived low class.

the man knowing how much he loved her, "tushed" her up and made her into the classy woman his mum eventually fell in love with.

and in that movie when her true identity was unraveled, he said that if you love someone and cannot be with her because of class, spend money on her and make her the woman you want her to be.

in summary,

if she's not your class going by what your mum has said, make her the classy woman you want her to be.

if not, let her go for someone your mum would approve, by the way, it is you who will live with the woman not your mum.

so be guided when taking the step as per your fiancee

Onegai:
I understand your mum. It may not be "class" the way we understand it but "class" as in, background of family. See, there are some things I read on NL that I have never experienced (having siblings hounding on my neck for money, sibling making me slave away in their home for school fees, everyone divorced, domestic violence acceptable, even taking permission to allow relatives visit or go and visit etc) yet this is the reality for a lot of people. Maybe your girl comes from a background where your mum thinks her family will interfere too much (because that's how they are). Or maybe she thinks your girl's mind hasn't been exposed. The last time I saw a case like this, the MiL was sorta right but all the problems manifested after the marriage. And yes, the wife in question looked and acted like a saintly wife material.

The good thing, both of you were in school together and that time in life is hard to pretend for either party. Tell your mum you're listening and ask her to come spend time with you and your girl (and you do the same). If she still feels that strongly against your girl, you make the decision whether or not to marry.

Let your mum be honest and share her issues with he girl with you. If they are valid and you know your mum so you can tell if she's being unreasonable, give her an ear. Your wife will eventually come first, but it's nicer to have MiL on her side.

I've seen attractive wives whom are in bad marriages because they married a man who went after "Wife Material" instead of marrying "The woman who suits me best". Maybe your mum knows you and is seeing that perhaps in the future, you'll have an issue with this girl (and it may not be the girl's fault, it may be yours).

Lovely piece I must say.

My kind of girl seriously! I wouldn't mind change of "hands". Transfer her to me! Lollz!

Nah joke o! Enjoy your rlshp! Its not easy to find a mannered girl out there, pretty or non pretty!

Guy go ahead with the marriage OK. Nothing go happen , ur happiness is more important than any body's opinion ... E get why

Cool script for telemundo.

ritababe:
First of all your mother does not have the right to dictate to you who you will spend the rest of your life with is your life not hers, and if you decided to move on without her, you will be the one to suffer for the rest of your life not your mother,.
And again the beauty of a woman is inside not outside.

U jst said it all dear. He who has ears...

ITbomb:
Use your pastor, priest or whoever to influence your mother

After marriage, it is you and your wife not your mother so, be diplomatic but go ahead with the "decent" girl

u r right,dat is wot am about to tell him.


Op u hv to b wise,my mum rejected my guy early last year,i was just looking at her as if i agreed,5 months later I called my pastor nd explained dat my mum is spoiling my Joy,my Pastor talk to her but i wasn't there,my mum now called me nd d story change. Don't leave ur woman because of ur mum o.

Not true. I agree Women have wahala, but when you jam a man with wahala, you go just "hands up"! I am speaking from experience.

jejemanito:
Sigh

In the whole of mankind's history, never has it been heard that a father-in-law is against his son-in-law

Live and let live

Women, una wahala too much

I suggest u tackle d situation wit wisdom, good girls are hard to by these days ooh, just let ur mum see reasons why u wann be with her, ur hapiness should be her priority....marrying her widout ur mum's consent can be a big head sha, wish u good luck

LaurelP:
I still think you shud have a heart to heart talk with ur mom. Give her cogent reasons, don't just tell her you love the girl, most of these old peeps don't wanna hear I love her.
Let her understand that class doesn't really matter and the girl is well behaved.
Talk to your mom, u need her blessings. Trust me, moms can be a hard nut to crack when u marry without their consent. I've seen where they even went diabolical against their own children.

Talk to her, if she doesn't listen call in a person she respects. By all means get her consent, this is Africa.

let her go diabolical n it would backfire at her. Rubish! Class ko! School ni!

ritababe:
First of all your mother does not have the right to dictate to you who you will spend the rest of your life with is your life not hers, and if you decided to move on without her, you will be the one to suffer for the rest of your life not your mother,.
And again the beauty of a woman is inside not outside.

suffer for the rest of his life because he left a woman??