Oh dear.
Sorry to hear this.
You won't believe I've always remembered her since that thread but I thought it might be too presumptuous of me to start openly asking you how it went.

I hope you've come to terms with what happened.
The lord is your strength.

bebe2:


My niece in law, she died oo

She was 19yrs old.

Dats not the worse part, she died in severe pain. A week before she died her dad returned her to her mum saying he is tired dat she is not getting better.

The girl call me one day crying that her mum is beating her. I was so angry, I called the mum and out of frustration spoke rudely to her, she said the girl doesn't drink her medicine until they threaten to beat her.

I apologised and begged her not to beat her but to take her to the hospital the next morning. They said they are taking her to church and the pastor said the battle has been won.

After another round of shouting and apologising they took her and said the doctors has finally given her a diagnosis, dat it's not cancer like I said but Arthritis.

That they need money to buy drugs, I sent them money promising to send more. Within 3days the girl died , the mum ran home crying . The rest of the family followed her back to the hospital only to get there to meet that the girls dad has taken the body to his village for burial.

And dat was the end of osaherumwen.

To the topic, It depends on what you want out of life
Yes you can make shedloads of money in Nigeria but it depends on if you want to exchange that for high stress levels and lack of services.
Its up to the individual to make that choice.

Personally I prefer to make less money and live a calm and organised life for me and my children, but that is just me. I don't need a 7 bedroom mansion in Lekki that I cant enjoy and close my eyes at night.

I also ask for things to be done properly and justice and fairness means a lot to me so personally I find it hard to deal with some of the things I see out there.

I know many people running over here to give up their stressful life.

We take the kids to Nigeria every year so they know their roots and my pikin can floor ifyalways in amala buka eating anyday

@topic, the thing that scares me most about living in Nigeria is the lack of emergency services.
Like someone might get hit by a car and is bleeding out on the road but people are just passing by, taking pictures and videos but won't help.
No assurance that emergency medical help will arrive or that if someone was brave enough to take them to the hospital that they will get the attention they need immediately.

There are so many things I know that don't work in our dear country but this particular one is the one that gives me nightmares.
Especially when I imagine my loved one going through such a pain all because we are managing our broken system like that.

cococandy:
@topic, the thing that scares me most about living in Nigeria is the lack of emergency services.
Like someone might get hit by a car and is bleeding out on the road but people are just passing by, taking pictures and videos but won't help.
No assurance that emergency medical help will arrive or that of someone does brave it to take them to the hospital that they will get the attention they need immediately.

There are so many things I know that don't work in our dear country but this particular one is the one that gives me nightmares.
Especially when I imagine my loved one going through such a pain all because we are managing our broken system like that.

That is what I fear the most too
Medical services
Even when you are picked up to hospital there is no guarantee that you will be treated if there is no one who can pay.
when I go I take shedloads of medical supply's with me cos you cant even be sure that the paracetamol you are buying is not fake.

Then followed by armed robbers high on igbo who even if you give them what they want will still shoot

Someone had his leg shot even after he had handed over everything after a car jacking. They said they will shoot him so that his wife will believe him that he was truly attacked by armed robbers and they did. He eventually lost the leg.

tearoses:


That is what I fear the most too
Medical services
Even when you are picked up to hospital there is no guarantee that you will be treated if there is no one who can pay.
when I go I take shedloads of medical supply's with me cos you cant even be sure that the paracetamol you are buying is not fake.
Then followed by armed robbers high on igbo who even if you give them what they want will still shoot

Honestly.
It's just that sometimes when you talk people will assume you're just interested in putting NIGERIA down because you're living abroad.
Can you believe that last year ending someone sent me a picture of paracetamol that was manufactured in 2016 to expire 2018(or so) meanwhile we were still in 2015.
That's how horrible we are to each other.
Tell me what the producers of those drugs have in mind for the consumers?
Bebe2 is right. Most of us lack empathy for the next person.

I love so many things about our country and will make sure my kids are grounded in their roots by visiting frequently.
But I'd be really really brave to consider relocating permanently.

Except Dangote agrees to adopt me sha.
That way we can enter his jet and fly off if any of us needs medical care.

cococandy:

Honestly.
It's just that sometimes when you talk people will assume you're just interested in putting NIGERIA down because you're living abroad.
Can you believe that last year ending someone sent me a picture of paracetamol that was manufactured in 2016 to expire 2018(or so) meanwhile we were still in 2015.
That's how horrible we are to each other.
Tell me what the producers of those drugs have in mind for the consumers?
Bebe2 is right. Most of us lack empathy for the next person.

I love so many things about our country and will make sure my kids are grounded in their roots by visiting frequently.
But I'd be really really brave to consider relocating permanently.

Except Dangote agrees to adopt me sha.
That way we can enter his jet and fly off if any of us needs medical care.

My dear even dangote is suffering and smiling
Has he never been late for a meeting due to bad roads
Has he never lost a family member due to fake drugs and bad medical care
even he if he has an unexplained headache has to jump on a plane and travel 7 hours somewhere
Does he not experience delays due to pot holes in the road
he cant fly everywhere

You are right, we are the ones doing ourselves.
fake this fake that
even big stores sell fake stuff
Its so sad that we are the ones doing ourselves.

True that.
He can't really be unaffected by all that's going on around him. Shebi our people say that a rich among poor people is still poor.

Another scary aspect is when you think about ritual sacrifices.
People getting kidnapped for ritual purposes.
How did I even forget that one?

*Goosebumps.*

tearoses:


My dear even dangote is suffering and smiling
Has he never been late for a meeting due to bad roads
Has he never lost a family member due to fake drugs and bad medical care
even he if he has an unexplained headache has to jump on a plane and travel 7 hours somewhere
Does he not experience delays due to pot holes in the road
he cant fly everywhere

You are right, we are the ones doing ourselves.
fake this fake that
even big stores sell fake stuff
Its so sad that we are the ones doing ourselves.

tearoses:
To the topic, It depends on what you want out of life
Yes you can make shedloads of money in Nigeria but it depends on if you want to exchange that for high stress levels and lack of services.
Its up to the individual to make that choice.

Personally I prefer to make less money and live a calm and organised life for me and my children, but that is just me. I don't need a 7 bedroom mansion in Lekki that I cant enjoy and close my eyes at night.

I also ask for things to be done properly and justice and fairness means a lot to me so personally I find it hard to deal with some of the things I see out there.

I know many people running over here to give up their stressful life.

We take the kids to Nigeria a year so they know their roots and my pikin can floor ifyalways in amala buka eating anyday

I just had to quote you to say "Okay"

It will be stooopid not to test waters first before taking the big/bold step.

Almost everyone you meet in Nigeria is out there to milk you so adjusting to their way of things will require some getting used to hence the reason why it's ever so important to accustom yourself to the lifestyle before uprooting your family from their comfortable abode

cococandy:
Oh dear.
Sorry to hear this.
You won't believe I've always remembered her since that thread but I thought it might be too presumptuous of me to start openly asking you how it went.

I hope you've come to terms with what happened.
The lord is your strength.

Tnk u sis.

It's happened there is nothing we can do.

Just wish I was there to atleast ease the pain.

cococandy:

Honestly.
It's just that sometimes when you talk people will assume you're just interested in putting NIGERIA down because you're living abroad.
Can you believe that last year ending someone sent me a picture of paracetamol that was manufactured in 2016 to expire 2018(or so) meanwhile we were still in 2015.
That's how horrible we are to each other.
Tell me what the producers of those drugs have in mind for the consumers?
Bebe2 is right. Most of us lack empathy for the next person.

I love so many things about our country and will make sure my kids are grounded in their roots by visiting frequently.
But I'd be really really brave to consider relocating permanently.

Except Dangote agrees to adopt me sha.
That way we can enter his jet and fly off if any of us needs medical care.

And they think the govt is going to fix all that.

OK am waiting.

cococandy:
@topic, the thing that scares me most about living in Nigeria is the lack of emergency services.
Like someone might get hit by a car and is bleeding out on the road but people are just passing by, taking pictures and videos but won't help.
No assurance that emergency medical help will arrive or that if someone was brave it to take them to the hospital that they will get the attention they need immediately.

There are so many things I know that don't work in our dear country but this particular one is the one that gives me nightmares.
Especially when I imagine my loved one going through such a pain all because we are managing our broken system like that.

Lack of emergency services, I can tolerate - to an extent.

But the almost non-existent security services? No. It's either you're facing chronic armed robbers down south, or suicide bombers up north. Was told some really scary stuff a few weeks ago...

Some relatives received a distressed call from an aunt in the middle of the night that a couple of armed robbers were trying to break into their home from the outside. So this aunt, along with her husband and kids started calling everyone they knew of - neighbours, friends, relatives, etc to reach any army officers / police / DPOs to come to their aid. (They too were trying to call the police but weren't getting any response).

Eventually the thieves broke into their home, but couldn't gain access to the bedroom where the family had locked themselves in. So what did they do? They climbed up onto the ceiling, made their way the room, removed the ceiling boards and one of them made to jump down into the room. Unluckily for the thief, her husband was prepared and made to cut off the armed robber's legs with a machete. Took a couple of swipes at him, but as luck will have it, just then the police (or army?) arrived at the scene and started firing shots in the air. The armed robbers took off, with one of them leaving behind their slippers.

Guess how many robbers there were in total?

Seven. Four on the outside, and three in the roof.

Harrowing experience. They were lucky. An inlaw's aunt wasn't that lucky. He (and others) received her distress call but within an hour, her husband was shot dead.

tearoses:


That is what I fear the most too
Medical services
Even when you are picked up to hospital there is no guarantee that you will be treated if there is no one who can pay.
when I go I take shedloads of medical supply's with me cos you cant even be sure that the paracetamol you are buying is not fake.

Then followed by armed robbers high on igbo who even if you give them what they want will still shoot

Someone had his leg shot even after he had handed over everything after a car jacking. They said they will shoot him so that his wife will believe him that he was truly attacked by armed robbers and they did. He eventually lost the leg.

just leg, Wat a lucky man,

Have u heard of the young girl dat was shot by armed robbers in portharcout? She was rushed to the hospital but doctors but doctors refused to treat her because there was no police report.

She bled to death right in the presence of her family.
Dats how bad things are.

7! What were they looking for?
Did they mistake the house for a bank?

EfemenaXY:


Lack of emergency services, I can tolerate - to an extent.

But the almost non-existent security services? No. It's either you're facing chronic armed robbers down south, or suicide bombers up north. Was told some really scary stuff a few weeks ago...

Some relatives received a distressed call from an aunt in the middle of the night that a couple of armed robbers were trying to break into their home from the outside. So this aunt, along with her husband and kids started calling everyone they knew of - neighbours, friends, relatives, etc to reach any army officers / police / DPOs to come to their aid. (They too were trying to call the police but weren't getting any response).

Eventually the thieves broke into their home, but couldn't gain access to the bedroom where the family had locked themselves in. So what did they do? They climbed up onto the ceiling, made their way the room, removed the ceiling boards and one of them made to jump down into the room. Unluckily for the thief, her husband was prepared and made to cut off the armed robber's legs with a machete. Took a couple of swipes at him, but as luck will have it, just then the police (or army?) arrived at the scene and started firing shots in the air. The armed robbers took off, with one of them leaving behind their slippers.

Guess how many robbers there were in total?

Seven. Four on the outside, and three in the roof.

Harrowing experience. They were lucky. An inlaw's aunt wasn't that lucky. He (and others) received her distress call but within an hour, her husband was shot dead.

bebe2:
just leg, Wat a lucky man,

Have u heard of the young girl dat was shot by armed robbers in portharcout? She was rushed to the hospital but doctors but doctors refused to treat her because there was no police report.

She bled to death right in the presence of her family.
Dats how bad things are.

Police report or money?

I thought the in-thing these days is, no-money-no-treatment, even if the patient is at the point of death?

bebe2:
just leg, Wat a lucky man,

Have u heard of the young girl dat was shot by armed robbers in portharcout? She was rushed to the hospital but doctors but doctors refused to treat her because there was no police report.

She bled to death right in the presence of her family.
Dats how bad things are.

I don't know who made that rule but it's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Always wondered what they were thinking every time one more person dies because the hospitals won't treat without a police report.

If the hospitals would be mandated not to release any treated gunshot victims without a police report, that would make more sense than demanding one before treatment. What's even the logic behind that?

Who has time in the face of such emergency to go get police report which by itself will take a lot of time. That's if the police don't demand money before issuing a report.

EfemenaXY:


Police report or money?

I thought the in-thing these days is, no-money-no-treatment, even if the patient is at the point of death?

Money in every case.

But police report (and money of course) if it's a gunshot wound.

cococandy:

7! What were they looking for?
Did they mistake the house for a bank?

No.

But apparently, in Naija people are always on the look out. This wasn't the first time their house had been robbed. It happened when the family travelled to the States on holiday.

So as far as people are concerned, if a man is able to travel abroad with his family, then they must be rolling in it. I now totally, totally, understand why some people get edgy when their relatives from abroad come visiting. You're warned not to let anyone know your arrival / departure dates, and even while with them, you're asked to lie low for the duration of your visit.

What sort of life is that? So what happens if you want to go back home and invest in land / property / business? You'll get killed before laying the foundation of your dreams...

cococandy:

Money in every case.

But police report (and money of course) if it's a gunshot wound.

Lord have mercy.

Cococandy & Bebe2, question for you on the point made earlier on about people having no empathy, even for victims of road accidents. If children are involved, do people in Naija still stand aside, snapping pic and videoing them as they bleed to death??

cococandy:

I don't know who made that rule but it's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Always wondered what they were thinking every time one more person dies because the hospitals won't treat without a police report.

If the hospitals would be mandated not to release any treated gunshot victims without a police report, that would make more sense than demanding one before treatment. What's even the logic behind that?

Who has time in the face of such emergency to go get police report which by itself will take a lot of time. That's if the police don't demand money before issuing a report.

Folk don't know how bad the country is, because pplease believe it's every man for himself.

OK make I gist u one tori,

A man was diagnosed with terminal cancer here , with all the " am an African man , I will not die in oyibo land" bravado he packed his things and went back to naija to die. We all cried, said our farewell .

4months later he is back,with horror stories, his people were duping him back n front everyone trying take Wat they can get.

Medical care was zero, he was dying all they needed was strong pain killers to ease pain , but sometimes they buy real, sometimes it's fake.

Once the morphine he brought from the UK was finished, hell started. Blood doctors cudnt even control his pain. Dats how he jeje packed his load back to the UK to have a peaceful death.

EfemenaXY:


Lord have mercy.

Cococandy & Bebe2, question for you on the point made earlier on about people having no empathy, even for victims of road accidents. If children are involved, do people in Naija still stand aside, snapping pic and videoing them as they bleed to death??

Of course, it's the new trend.

And the end of the day, even if they get the child to the hospital doctor will give one excuse or another why he can't treat the child.

EfemenaXY:


Police report or money?

I thought the in-thing these days is, no-money-no-treatment, even if the patient is at the point of death?

Because it's gunshot wounds, the law is there have to be a police report incase the person is an armed robber.

But no one remember that victims can also have gunshot wounds.

And these laws were made by those dat were supposed to be the best of the best the society. See how smart they are?

RollingFellas:


I am so sorry for your loss. From your narratives, its obvious that the girl's family has some unresolved issues. With all due respect to the departed, these kind of family brouhaha happens sometimes. It can happen anywhere in the world. Even in the USA and UK, there are deranged fellows who go on shooting spree, killing people just for fun.Crazy fellows are not limited to any particular geographic region of the world. Like someone said earlier in his post, adaptation is key. Besides, for the OP to have lived in Europe for 15 years, he/she might have become a citizen or at least have a valid resident permit. Also, he/she must have had some saved amount of money. So, its not like they will be starting from scratch financially.

Not so much unresolved , they are the placid type. The kind of pple dat will relax and watch the world go by.

Am not so quiet sometimes I feel like am in a zoo, the way they stare at me wen am giving them some of my interesting gist

Wow!

But I'm not surprised.

bebe2:


Folk don't know how bad the country is, because pplease believe it's every man for himself.

OK make I gist u one tori,

A man was diagnosed with terminal cancer here , with all the " am an African man , I will not die in oyibo land" bravado he packed his things and went back to naija to die. We all cried, said our farewell .

4months later he is back,with horror stories, his people were duping him back n front everyone trying take Wat they can get.

Medical care was zero, he was dying all they needed was strong pain killers to ease pain , but sometimes they buy real, sometimes it's fake.

Once the morphine he brought from the UK was finished, hell started. Blood doctors cudnt even control his pain. Dats how he jeje packed his load back to the UK to have a peaceful death.

I haven't heard of that happening to a child. I don't want to think about it though.
Because it's very possible.

EfemenaXY:


Lord have mercy.

Cococandy & Bebe2, question for you on the point made earlier on about people having no empathy, even for victims of road accidents. If children are involved, do people in Naija still stand aside, snapping pic and videoing them as they bleed to death??

Whether you like it or not there is no place like home. People are on here talking crap about medical emergencies and fake drugs, yet if you go to villages you will still see people of 100+ living happily.

If these people are so happy abroad why do they keep interacting with us down ere? It's because they miss the Nigerian feel. Ask people who live in organized Estates if they have ever been robbed before, you think we do not have good pharmacies here that sell original drugs? FG hospitals are up to standard and we have good private/Catholic hospitals here, is there any country where people live past 130? Our schools here(especially missionary schools are very good)

No one is saying you should relocate if you don't want to, but for someone who is considering it, I can confidently say, it is not a bad decision.

OP, do your research well, and pick a good state to settle in. It is better to come back to the land of sunshine and rain than to remain in Ice block and die of cold related ailment when you are old. My aunt made this mistake and now no one knows where her grave is except her three kids who do not interact with us.

bebe2:


Am glad it's worked out for u.

But I still stand by my point , u mentioned about infrastructure being revived, this is laughable. U first need to revive the mind of the people,

The fact that most humans in dat country have no conscience or empathy is beyond me. How are u going to revive dat?

People are incompetent, negligent in their duties and lack basic human feeling. How are u going to fix dat?

The number of people dat I know dat have died from routine surgery, even before they get opened up, common anaesthetic, they can not give . Wicked doctors, nurses, teachers. Abi u no see the teacher wey nearly use cane finish one 3yr old pikin?

Abi na university wey who sort go get admission who pass go dey house dey wait?

Abi na market woman wey u go price fish for agree on a price d moment u look away she go swap the fish wrap a different one.

Pls tell me where u are going to start.

If you were white I would have called you a racist. Why do you keep making general statements? All Nigerians are Devils according to you, easy on the negativity, some of us are enjoying life down here. Try visiting Calabar, you will understand

Oh God.Nigeria this,Nigeria that una no dey tire.sh na by force u must come.person wan come una dey talk trash.are you in Nigeria?NO them why say things you dont knw yourself.i hear i hear lo ma pa yin

peacengine:


If you were white I would have called you a racist. Why do you keep making general statements? All Nigerians are Devils according to you, easy on the negativity, some of us are enjoying life down here. Try visiting Calabar, you will understand

You can't fault her claims honestly reason being that some Nigerians living in Nigeria are greater "racists." You need to be closer to many Nigerians in the cities to understand how much they detest their home towns, grand parents and people back in the village.

No one hates GOOD INFRASTRUCTURE, but in the absence of none, Nigerians are known to adapt and adjust easily.

Security is a big challenge here, but I don't think I could get back the fun in my school days when myself and my room mates sleep shirtless on the rug with doors wide open. Even in the midst of theft, we were stubborn and believed no one can harm us, after all we are men and God is with us.

It all sound stu.pid but we didn't see it as suffering, instead it was fun to us. We all graduated and departed. However, just few weeks ago, I lost a colleague to a boat mishap in Lagos. Death didn't take him away back then when we sleep with open doors in the midst of gun shots in a typical village in Delta. He died after settling down with a good job in Lagos.

Adaptability is key. Whoever can adapt can live in Nigeria. In fact, it doesn't have to be Banana Island or Asokoro.

EfemenaXY:


Lord have mercy.

Cococandy & Bebe2, question for you on the point made earlier on about people having no empathy, even for victims of road accidents. If children are involved, do people in Naija still stand aside, snapping pic and videoing them as they bleed to death??

dont you think this your question is stupid.

oloyede252:
dont you think this your question is stupid.

No, I don't. What make it silly?

Acidosis:


You can't fault her claims honestly reason being that some Nigerians living in Nigeria are greater "racists." You need to be closer to many Nigerians in the cities to understand how much they detest their home towns, grand parents and people back in the village.

No one hates GOOD INFRASTRUCTURE, but in the absence of none, Nigerians are known to adapt and adjust easily.

Security is a big challenge here, but I don't think I could get back the fun in my school days when myself and my room mates sleep shirtless on the rug with doors wide open. Even in the midst of theft, we were stubborn and believed no one can harm us, after all we are men and God is with us.

It all sound stu.pid but we didn't see it as suffering, instead it was fun to us. We all graduated and departed. However, just few weeks ago, I lost a colleague to a boat mishap in Lagos. Death didn't take him away back then when we sleep with open doors in the midst of gun shots in a typical village in Delta. He died after settling down with a good job in Lagos.

Adaptability is key. Whoever can adapt can live in Nigeria. In fact, it doesn't have to be Banana Island or Asokoro.

Bros, I agree I am not faulting her, if you read through her post you will notice how she tried to put us down. Sorry about your guy, it can happen anywhere bro. People die from drive by shootings in US, gang related fracas and serial killing happen often in these Western countries despite their false security.

Adaptability is key to living anywhere boss, even in Europe, how do they survive the cold and loneliness?