Why marriages don't work... Discussion in church this morning.
The points have been valid thus far but something I'd like to have mentioned.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN MARRIED, but I have stumbled on a few things I chose to learn from.
1- love has its personal definition, I mean, what love means to me, might not be what it means to you. Many a times we express love to our partners as we love or understand or expect our partners to show love to us, many times. We are turning the wheel, yes! But in the wrong direction, its like imposing your cravings on me, regardless you are working a lot but working wrongly. Doing something you appreciate don't mean Your partner Would appreciate it, it doesn't mean you're not trying, but probably trying wrongly. I would suggest to find your parrtners love button and work on it

2- someone said you don't marry one person, you marry or get into a relationship with 3 people,
1- who you think they are,
2- who they actually are and
3- who they will become as a result of being married to you.

1-Who you think they are-
what happened to building friendship? Knowing a person, and not just getting stuck on our illusions and our partial blindness as to their genuine nature, without friendship, you might not be able to know a person halfway, talk Less fully, and marriage is a world of discoveries and ability to cope if you don't have a knowledge of your spouse, I mean, you liked the idea that she likes scrambled eggs, then you later find out that they like onions and vegetables a lot, and you don't!. They are not responsible for your perceptions of them(except the fake people, which with friendship you'd find out anyway, so why not take that friendship bait and get to know each other better), too many relationships these days are built on the premise of sexual chemistry( I know I couldn't have said that in church, as we all like to misunderstand religion and we all try to sound or look righteous, another topic for another day) but come-on you Can't Have sex 24hours in a marriage relationship so you can divorce once the sex goes "eew-cold". So if you know who they Are you have an escape route and time to decide.
2- who they Actually are- just read point 1 again, if you are friends, already gradually you'd find out who they Are, or likely to be, fake things don't last, so doesn't pretence. If they have been pretending overtime you go know!

3 -who they will become as a result of being married to you. Most of us honestly if we are not being hypocritical will not like to marry someone that sounds like us, like poles don't attract. We can manage some similarities but if you have anger management problems, that's hell, if you both don't like potatoes, that's still nice, if you both have pride... Serious problem, if you both are opinionated, issues... Now where I am going is, overtime, our partner gradually becomes a tiny reflection of us, even physically, I mean I have seen couples that start looking alike after a while, if it affects the physical, it affects everything, if we start finding this things we begin to complain and forget that we are as guilty as our partners, and start trying to change what we are responsible for. She learnt sarcasm from you, accept that you are also a sarcastic creature to the fullest, and before you crucify your partner be sure you are not guilty of the same.

And I'd like to end this scribbles on a note I saw somewhere- the prayer of serenity;
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change(you can't change everything mr macho, and if you change your partner you might not like what you find Rev- Sam Adeyemi)
The courage to change the things that I can;
And the wisdom to know the difference
Peace... Hehehe

Interesting. Nice write up

You tried bro but marriage is more of a practical thing. Many times, we approach it theoretically thinking believing it's a bed of roses. The truth is marriage has different strokes for different folks

Thank you ...