What would you do if you find your partner in a compromising position with someone else?

My friend had this guy she was dating for 7 months. They were so into each other that with time, they became inseparable. The girl was a student then while the guy worked in a bank.

One day, she entered her boyfriend's house only to find the guy on the couch with another girl 'they were getting down!' She couldnt believe her eyes; she felt so betrayed! The following day, she got acid and poured it all over the guy's suits and shirts before he came back from the office.

The guy was so annoyed, he kept calling her and sending her text messages about how much he craved the other girl's body. This drove my friend crazy the more. I am so surprised at both of them, because they were like inseparable love birds. Now everything seems to be going sour.

But guess what? I know they still love each other very much. I told her my mind that, no matter what the guy could have done, she went too far by destroying his office clothes!!

Whats your opinion? Can you advise her on how to get the guy back?

As far as I am concerned:
[list][li]Since they were not married, you cannot really say the guy was cheating on her. He was merely fornicating with a fresh body [/li][li]Her reaction was excessive, but perfectly understandable. I am glad the resisted the temptation to pour the acid on a human being![/li][li]Considering the fact that the guy was the cause of the whole impasse, it was extra-ordinarily wicked of him to keep taunting her. I am not sure that the right thing to do is to return to the relationship.[/li][/list]
As you can see, I have not answered the question. Help us out!

seun:

As far as I am concerned:
[list][li]Since they were not married, you cannot really say the guy was cheating on her.  He was merely fornicating with a fresh body [/li][li]Her reaction was excessive, but perfectly understandable.  I am glad the resisted the temptation to pour the acid on a human being![/li][li]Considering the fact that the guy was the cause of the whole impasse, it was extra-ordinarily wicked of him to keep taunting her.  I am not sure that the right thing to do is to return to the relationship.[/li][/list]
As you can see, I have not answered the question.  Help us out!

the girl could not ve done wt she did in asmuch as he is not the only boy in the world.

Pinky the only solution is obvious!!! as your friend to drop his @#$!!! i mean he has no right to do what he did.. if you love someone you would not betray or hurt them period!!!!!!! we do not even need to drag this any further...
no matter how in love she ids with the guy, he is not worth it! i mean yeah she is so inlove with him well in life we makes sacrifices she should get over him, it would hurt but she later on she would look and feel good that she made the right decision. leave with your dignity still intact!!!!

She should dump him like the #$%^ he is!!!! oh i would do the same!!! (cry later that is ok but get over it!!) it is his loss anyway.

If Tayo should find her partner in a compromising position with another lady, trust me, I would just excuse them and walk out of the room.  It might sound silly but then
I can never imagine myself exchanging words or fighting with a lady over of an irresponsible man who is not yet my husband.

It is painful, you know, to be betrayed by those you love but then when it happens you just have to pull yourself together and let him realise 'he is not the only fish in the sea'.

Its not right to hurt some that has giving all to you, but at the same time you cant go as far as pouring acid on his office wears. It is a wrong decision she made and I believe that was what made him to send her those messages and calls too, at least to get his mind off from the pains of the fact that she destroy her office wears. One other thing is that you never can tell what that incident can bring for her.
Though it will hurt her so bad, but she shouldnt have gone as far as pouring acid on his office wears.
Anyway thank Goodness No Bi Human Being she pour Acid on

tayotina:

If Tayo should find her partner in a compromising position with another lady, trust me, I would just excuse them and walk out of the room. It might sound silly but then
I can never imagine myself exchanging words or fighting with a lady over of an irresponsible man who is not yet my husband.

It is painful, you know, to be betrayed by those you love but then when it happens you just have to pull yourself together and let him realise 'he is not the only fish in the sea'.

@tayotina what happens if its your home, maybe on your couch with your best friend, roomate, family friend etc and they don't seem apologetic but irritated that you distracted them from such serious business they were involved. Do you go nuts or just politely ask them to shift the venue of the games to a physically safer place?

I can't predict what i would do personally. these things don't always go rationally, we are talking about love and betrayal here. I might go nuts and beat the stuffing out of the guy (note that i did not say the girl, you can't force someone to love you.) I might just tell them in the politest voice possible to "Get the F%@k out of my f@%king house"

kodewrita, funny enough, I have been thinking of this kind of thing for some time now. Let it be in my home, on my couch, with my best friend, I SWEAR, I would never utter a word or do anything irrational at that moment.

The shock would just be too much for me.

pinky, your friend act was foolish, she would have just greeted them and walk away. and never talk about that issue with him, then keep away from him for some time to see if the guy have real love for you.This way you could understand him better. by distroying his cloths is wrong, mind you he is not your husband yet.

kodewrita: I can't predict what I would do personally. these things don't always go rationally, we are talking about love and betrayal here.

I support kodewrita. Despite the fact that it happened to my friend, I was trying to advise her but then if I put my self in my friend's postion, only God knows how I would have reacted.

But I trust myself, I wouldnt have exchanged words with the girl nor my boyfriend at the scene because they are very very busy indeed! Neither would I have poured acid on the guy's clothes.

solo2 it wasn't me who did acted like that, but my friend, so correct your statements. Refer to the person as her and not you

Mind you, do you think just leaving a guy and not talking about it will solve matters? Most times, it gives a lady sleepless night. Ladies always wanna talk about 'it. Don't you know that by now?

She couldn't simply have left the love of her life alone like that. What if he doesn't comeback? You still want to know why he acted stupid even if you guys are never going to be together anymore.

Guys don't always want to talk about 'it', but ladies always wanna talk about it ('it' refers to anything happening in a relationship.)

Actually what I think is that there are different people with the way they act when angry, but that was too gross of her. Even though they are lovebirds she shouldn't trust him with her alone.

To answer the question anyway, if she really loves him (as you said they used to be love birds) she should try and calm down to forgive and forget which I know is not going to be easy to do but she should let it go if she doesn't want another girl in the hands of her man.

Well I'll do what I think I should do. I'll walk out ... forever.

We could still be friends if she wants to explain why she did that. Infact, more than friends. But I guess the relationship, for the better part, is dead. What is the essence of a relationship without trust? I can't trust her again (and I'm not God who gives second chances).

Guys, is there a logical reason why you can't do your extra stuff whilst you are single and just be faithfull in a relationship? is that to much to ask?

Women are pushing the limits with regards to their reactions from cheating boyfriends/ partners. Please, calm down!

As for the scenario described, i think i would just tell him he should have saved me the wahala and wish the chick all the best. No point crying over spilled milk .

ezinne1212:

Guys, is there a logical reason why you can't do your extra stuff whilst you are single and just be faithfull in a relationship?  is that to much to ask?

how exactly do you mean?

Now why would she go pour acid on his cloths? I love his reaction though.

Men cheating, women cheating, everyone cheating. Why can't we all just stop cheating and be faithful to each other? Why?

You know, people react differently to being cheated upon. Some can be strong about and for some it can leave a scar so deep that other people are the ones to suffer it.

Trust is something we totally take for granted even in every other part or other aspects of our life. I find it so difficult to trust a woman cause I believe somehow they will eventually stab you in the back (maybe thats why I've being single for so so long )

Ladies, a guy can sleep with a girl and have not a feeling for the girl but what I can't take is a woman cheating on her guy. The reason why I can't take a woman cheating on her guy is that the woman is so so much complex and deeper than the guy.

If a guy sees a Genevieve right now and she offers sex 95% of guys would drop their pants cause we are Hot bastards and most times we just think with our *****, and once that lust is taken care of [the man's] mind is totally removed from the situation.

But if a woman sees a RMD and he offers sex she is not going to just drop her pants like that. She going to think about it she is going to weigh it she is going to look at every reason why I should and why I should not.

In short it going to come straight from her heart and not her loins so she is doing it not because she's Hot at that time she is doing cause it's what she wants, and that is way way deeper and more hurtful. Look, I am not giving any form of excuse for the guys but all am saying is the woman's cheating to me is weightier than the guy's own.

Now for the acid burning couple. I think the guy and the girl should go seperate ways, because he's going to continue cheating and she is going to get a lot more inventive with her revenge. So before we go for burial or trial let them go their seperate ways!

dominobaby:

ezinne1212 link=topic=298.msg2550#msg2550 date=1117087961:

Guys, is there a logical reason why you can't do your extra stuff whilst you are single and just be faithfull in a relationship? is that to much to ask?

how [I]exactly [/I] do you mean?

Why be in a relationship and still indulge in those kinky side deals. Whether its a guy/girl, they must be aware that it would hurt their partner when they find out. Is being faithful to one person to much to ask?

Some people say I'm not married yet, so why should i be faithful, Newsflash! If u cant do it now, what are the chances that you'll be able to stay faithful once married.

That is to say some men are goats and will forever remain goats. Why can't you just stick to one lady for Christ's sake? Why must you go about breaking people's hearts? If you know you cannot remain faithful in a relationship, then DON'T GO INTO IT AT ALL.

It would be better if you'd rather remain single and 4k anything in skirt.

People.. People...

A word for the wise..

If the guy in question feels that he's missing something from the relationship, which drives him to seek satisfaction from another babe... And if the girl in the relationship can not accept or condone sharing her guy with another babe.. then I believe "Q.E.D".. [for those of us that aren't specialists in latin... "the proof is complete..."]

There is no point in using the proverbial "after-death medicine"... there is no point in resussitation the dead... they should both go their own ways, if they haven't done so already..

In life, guys will always be guys, and dogs will always be dogs.. Essentially, guys and gals are built in different ways.. both physically, mentally, and espeically emotionally.. there are certain things a guy will do which has no impact or import on his feelings for a loved one.. that's why guys can keep multiple relationships without confusing or conflicting feelings or emotions.. Gals who understand this lead peaceful and emotionally fulfilled lives.. those that don't do so to their own peril..

For the contributer that feels that once a man has this habit or tendency, it would inevitably carry over to his matrimonial home, I have just one comment for the person.. Stereotyping in a dangerous fad... the fact that some people indulge in certain tendencies does not make it the norm.. many "retired" playboys and playgals end up having very stable and cherished marital lives.. Staying married to a ripe old age without agroos...

Are men really 'goats' or are women 'dogs', Tayo in her reply said, "....men are dogs". I don't think that is the case. How do you explain a situation where your woman's female friend comes to the house to say hi and comes in a skimpy attire when she knows her friend will not be around. Like i said and Allenpowered made clear, though we were created animals, but a different type and we are prone to making mistakes.

It has been a tradition with females way back to be tempters, Eve started it, Portipha's wife carried on and it has been thesame story uptill today.

The men folks are more straight forward than their female counterparts and therefore if you find your partner (a male) in a compromising position with your best friend, don't walk away, find out why they were in such a compromising position. WHO KNOWS.

legry:

If a guy sees a Genevieve right now and she offers sex 95% of guys would drop their pants cause we are Hot bastards and most times we just think with our *****, and once that lust is taken care of [the man's] mind is totally removed from the situation.

But if a woman sees a RMD and he offers sex she is not going to just drop her pants like that. She going to think about it she is going to weigh it she is going to look at every reason why I should and why I should not.

In short it going to come straight from her heart and not her loins so she is doing it not because she's Hot at that time she is doing cause it's what she wants, and that is way way deeper and more hurtful. Look, I am not giving any form of excuse for the guys but all am saying is the woman's cheating to me is weightier than the guy's own

i agree totally with legry.. legry is 100% right.....legry..thumbs up for u.. u must have been studying love, sex & lasting relatonships

I'm not taking any drastic action because is a game of love. She loved him to that extent. Because I've been a victim, once beaten twice shy. Be careful that kind of person, you pay no penny.

editor: Couldn't decode this one, sorry.

Pinky:
I agree totally with Legry. Legry is 100% right. Legry, thumbs up for you. You must have been studying love, sex & lasting relatonships.

Thanks a lot pinky, but you know sometimes you don't need to read to know some things. Experience can show you a whole lot and answer a lot of questions for you. Mine has taught and told me never take a woman's love or care for granted even if you been together for 10 years, because when she decides and makes up her mind [in the negative direction], then boy o boy the man would be caught in a tsunami kind of storm and all he'll have left with him is just a very big open mouth!

Take a walk. It is not worth fighting for, they are not married. About getting back together, hell NO. They've been going out for say 7months and he is already cheating on her, and you call that love? Like it isn't enough he taunts her by sending her nasty text messages about how great the sex was with the other woman? Like I said before TAKE A WALK!

Any guy that will cheat on you is not worth your efforts. He had better go to hell. Afterall, AIDS is in town.

Let them see you and then walk away... although it is not easy. But believe me, that man will never see my pants again in his life.

every body seems to have an idea of how calmly they would handle the situation and all; abeg na lie! you cant know until you are the situation yourself so stop judging pinky's friend she's the one with itch so she knows how bad she needs to scratch!

Leg, I don't uderstand all of them trying to be hard and stuff, "I'll walk out", "I'll kill her or him", "I won't say a word".

You know what? I've not heard one guy here say I'll cry. Guys, don't you even attempt to tell me its impossible in this situation. Even from the ladies, I've not heard "I'll cry, leave him, then forgive him". In fact, all I've been hearing are just some hollywood last screenshot sterotypes here and nothing really from the heart.

Lord please don't ever let me be in this position cause you know I don't have an idea of what I'll do.

legs:

every body seems to have an idea of how calmly they would handle the situation and all; abeg na lie! you cant know until you are the situation yourself so stop judging pinky's friend

hahahahahah!

legry:

I've not heard one guy here say I'll cry. Guys, don't you even attempt to tell me its impossible in this situation. Even from the ladies, I've not heard "I'll cry, leave him, then forgive him". In fact, all I've been hearing are just some hollywood last screenshot sterotypes here and nothing really from the heart.

Legs & legry, u re the most truthful on this board o!!
i know most girls will cry & cry their eyes out. they will think of forgiving the guy cos they cant imagine letting go of him... then they will go to the post "Why Is It So Hard to Let Go" & start to yarn..dont mind them, they are only forming on this forum

the men will sulk & sulk like babies, some will even cry!! & find solace in marijuana or cigarettes & their green & brown bottles of ........

thanks jare!

Most of u guys just aren't sincere!

Its not as easy as everyone is saying it.Do u knw how much trust the girl wld av had in d guy?The so called guy would have said and done so many things to make the girl trust and love him that much.Imagine u coming home to meet ur boyfriend whom u just left, probably a day b4, in that position and u tell me u will just walk away,abeg na big lie its not possible,u might not need to fight the girl,but 4 me oh,na me and the guy.D girl didnt do wrong by pouring acid on his clothes,he deserves more than that.What embarrrasment who wld u start edxplaining what happened to?Its so painful,i feel for her.I pray not to be in her shoes cos i wld really misbehave,i might regret later but as at then i wldnt even know what am doing.