chocolateme:
It is well.. So na you and her pastor go dey marry her now, because finally na the pastor opinion and decision go dey rule in your marriage with her.
This is not good at all.

x240:
it is not your job to treat her. She has a personal disorder and anger is the only way for her to show it.

What she needs is a psychiatrist to help her overcome her anger issues. You aren't qualified enough and since you play a dominant role in her life and you are a trigger for her anger period. You aren't suited to really help her effectively.


Visiting a mental health practitioner doesn't have to be only when someone is walking unclad on the streets.

She may have chemical imbalances which doubles her anxiety levels and causes such anger episodes and may be given long term medications, things to avoid to help her overcome this.

Her own characteristics is even peculiar as she always likes to make a scene by shouting and inviting third parties. Just a warning to you.... It would aggravate if you continue with her without seeking medical help. She would drag you outside and your neighborhood would have to come settle numerous quarrels and I fear you would spiral out of control one day. Slap her to calm her down or show your superior and things might spiral out of control. It's already happening(You blocking her hands from making phone calls) What wkuld be next? Lock her indoors and wrestle her to the floor so she can't cause a scene?


Truth is, this is not something you overcome in a day. It takes years to undo 20 years of attitude, environment and nature. Stay safe.

mencade5:
Please bear with me. The thread is a bit long. This thread is about me and not my friend. (lol)

i honestly need mature advise from the married and matured folks here.

I am in a very serious relationship with this lady. This is our 12th months together and i plan to propose to her in few months time.

I observe that she has hot temper. Each time we had little misunderstanding she flare up and wouldnt calm down for us to resolve and settle it amicably.

Being a gentleman i believe there are no perfect relationships. Quarrels and disagreements must pop up no matter what.

Yesterday we quarreled due to certain issue we had agreed on. I must confess i caused it but i was quick to realise it and apologise but she wouldnt listen. She made an attempt to call a friend of hers to report the issue. I stopped her. She again wanted to call her pastor too i blocked her hands and was surprise why she is inviting third parties to our matter. She was even voicing it out for people to hear us quarreling and i was calming her down to lower her voice.

This lady is the type every man needs. Religious, good cook, prayerful and she gives me advise on so many occasion.

Her parents are late and she was abandoned by her brothers and sisters due to change of religion. I dont know maybe this affected her attitude.

I myself i have my own wrong sides yet i am ready to accept her wrong and hope she do the same to me. But she wouldnt.

I have talked to her about her anger and made her understand that it is not good for us. Yet yesterdays event surprised me.

Please sorry about the long post. I just need advise or advises about how to handle this issue with my woman.

To add she is 23 and i am 29 years.

mencade5:
Please bear with...To add she is 23 and i am 29 years...

mencade5:
the thing surprise me ooo. I was dumbfounded when she made that move. This is about us. Why r u bringing people into our lives for such a minor issue? I told her this

travelxpat:
Too many singles here giving you advise @op..
I have only read your part of the story..cant say anything Against her...
But av it in mind that she is 23 and already an orphan If you act well like a father , a brother then she wont be needing her pastor again.
You love 90 percent of her attributes but the issue is her anger (haba that is the easiest to solve).she gives you advise , consoles you and also prays for you.
Leave her and jump to the next and regret it .

yinkslinks:
Grammar. Therapist ko, rapist ni. You haven't seen women even Jesus will shake his head for

Neverquit:
Suggest exercising, karate, judo, taekwondo to let off steam. Everybody has anger issues, we just have different ways of dealing with it. Help her find healthy ways of dealing with it

If you guys get married without settling the anger issues, I hope not to read your story on the front page...reference the IB guy that was stabbed in the neck by his 'lovely' wife

x240:
it is not your job to treat her. She has a personal disorder and anger is the only way for her to show it.

What she needs is a psychiatrist to help her overcome her anger issues. You aren't qualified enough and since you play a dominant role in her life and you are a trigger for her anger period. You aren't suited to really help her effectively.


Visiting a mental health practitioner doesn't have to be only when someone is walking unclad on the streets.

She may have chemical imbalances which doubles her anxiety levels and causes such anger episodes and may be given long term medications, things to avoid to help her overcome this.

Her own characteristics is even peculiar as she always likes to make a scene by shouting and inviting third parties. Just a warning to you.... It would aggravate if you continue with her without seeking medical help. She would drag you outside and your neighborhood would have to come settle numerous quarrels and I fear you would spiral out of control one day. Slap her to calm her down or show your superior and things might spiral out of control. It's already happening(You blocking her hands from making phone calls) What wkuld be next? Lock her indoors and wrestle her to the floor so she can't cause a scene?


Truth is, this is not something you overcome in a day. It takes years to undo 20 years of attitude, environment and nature. Stay safe.

ilawanson44:


Jesuzzzzz! You are very wicked! U see babe wey dey rant with her mouth alone and you are telling the OP to recommend martial art for her? So his teeth will disappear within few year of marriage

komododragons:
which NAIJA WOMEN will agree that she has a mental disorder?

thank you for this statement! you said the truth and many won't agreed.

if you can't handle a woman, she will handle you. show her that you are the man! do beat her on occasional basic but not always. she will calm down by force

Ginaz:
I wish I could give you advise but I'm terribly angry now myself.

kaziblake:
So because of ordinary temper issue you are thinking of changing your mind?

Marry her I bet she will change.

Neverquit:

Omg! The training will not be directed @ him. Those classes actually teach self control...you're funny though.

alizma:
markone and others had said a lot that I believe are enough to guide u on your next step. having said that, I want you to understand that whatever is enticing you now will not keep the relationship if not her character and u don't mean her character when the going is good but her character during those though time of every marriage. that period when you seems to have every reason except character, to tell each other u had made wrong choice marrying each other.
will there be inner beauty to look at when physical beauty is gone?
I don't mean to scare you, spend sometimes reading post at crime forum you will discover that most people that injured or even killed their partners did such out of anger and only realise the weight of their action later.
hold the proposal thin and try to solve the problem on ground first. most importantly, be less emotional because marriage is not a child's play, it is a life time commitment not 5yrs project.

Mrbigman1:


What re u betting with?

mencade5:
Please bear with me. The thread is a bit long. This thread is about me and not my friend. (lol)

i honestly need mature advise from the married and matured folks here.

I am in a very serious relationship with this lady. This is our 12th months together and i plan to propose to her in few months time.

I observe that she has hot temper. Each time we had little misunderstanding she flare up and wouldnt calm down for us to resolve and settle it amicably.

Being a gentleman i believe there are no perfect relationships. Quarrels and disagreements must pop up no matter what.

Yesterday we quarreled due to certain issue we had agreed on. I must confess i caused it but i was quick to realise it and apologise but she wouldnt listen. She made an attempt to call a friend of hers to report the issue. I stopped her. She again wanted to call her pastor too i blocked her hands and was surprise why she is inviting third parties to our matter. She was even voicing it out for people to hear us quarreling and i was calming her down to lower her voice.

This lady is the type every man needs. Religious, good cook, prayerful and she gives me advise on so many occasion.

Her parents are late and she was abandoned by her brothers and sisters due to change of religion. I dont know maybe this affected her attitude.

I myself i have my own wrong sides yet i am ready to accept her wrong and hope she do the same to me. But she wouldnt.

I have talked to her about her anger and made her understand that it is not good for us. Yet yesterdays event surprised me.

Please sorry about the long post. I just need advise or advises about how to handle this issue with my woman.

To add she is 23 and i am 29 years.