mencade5:
Please bear with me. The thread is a bit long. This thread is about me and not my friend. (lol)

i honestly need mature advise from the married and matured folks here.

I am in a very serious relationship with this lady. This is our 12th months together and i plan to propose to her in few months time.

I observe that she has hot temper. Each time we had little misunderstanding she flare up and wouldnt calm down for us to resolve and settle it amicably.

Being a gentleman i believe there are no perfect relationships. Quarrels and disagreements must pop up no matter what.

Yesterday we quarreled due to certain issue we had agreed on. I must confess i caused it but i was quick to realise it and apologise but she wouldnt listen. She made an attempt to call a friend of hers to report the issue. I stopped her. She again wanted to call her pastor too i blocked her hands and was surprise why she is inviting third parties to our matter. She was even voicing it out for people to hear us quarreling and i was calming her down to lower her voice.

This lady is the type every man needs. Religious, good cook, prayerful and she gives me advise on so many occasion.

Her parents are late and she was abandoned by her brothers and sisters due to change of religion. I dont know maybe this affected her attitude.

I myself i have my own wrong sides yet i am ready to accept her wrong and hope she do the same to me. But she wouldnt.

I have talked to her about her anger and made her understand that it is not good for us. Yet yesterdays event surprised me.

Please sorry about the long post. I just need advise or advises about how to handle this issue with my woman.

To add she is 23 and i am 29 years.

She probably needs some sort of therapy or counselling

First my brother to be sincere with u ,u need to wear patience as agbada and u must av it 123% in u cuz d truth is its part of her and she also wants to drop it cuz good relationship is about make better.U need to take her as ur junior sister first then now treat her as a girlfriend. Why is cuz if u r d type who love his sister and also guide his sister wen wrong. Same u will do for her and gradually u begin to c that


WOMEN CAN CHANGE WEN SHOWED PATIENCE IN LOVE BUT MEN I DOUBT.


pls be patient and be her father and her everything because I know its an investment that will yield good result.

this sounds very familiar. It is a good thing that she did not pretend to be be a gentle person. All you have seen so far is her real person. There may be more (definitely there are always more negative things about our partners). When you accept a person in marriage you automatically accept her liability and assets irrespective of whether you know her or not. During courtship the good side of every person is always the strongest attraction but what keeps marriage going when the attraction is gone is character. Questions for you is does she have good character ? Remember, praying, good advice, being religious and cooking good food is not characters. refer to Galatian 5: 19-22, 1peter 1:5. Physical attractions is necessary to pull us to the wedding altar but character keeps the marriage going for years. No one will advice you on whether to marry her or not. It is your call. that you shared this with third parties on Nairaland forum means that you are not in control. ask yourself (1) can i tolerate this? (2) can i bear it forever (3) do i have the power to change her? (4) can i maintain self control? (5) can i resist the temptation to beat her one day ?. the truth is, most people will hardly change but we can choose to tolerate their behavior if it is bearable. if you can bear this get on with it, if not? think twice. Marriage is not a 100 meter dash, it is a marathon. Survival depends much on commitment, adaptability, tolerance, self control, sacrifice and love. Good look, good cooking skills and religiosity can fade away. Divorce is not an option for a christian. good luck.

Bros if you love her that much and really want to marry her, help her and help yourself by enrolling on a ANGER MANAGEMENT COURSE. I can recommend one for you. Stay bless.

kaziblake:
Nothing but she will change.

Put something jooor. Am not wishing she remains d same, afterwards nothing is permanent

Neverquit:

Omg! The training will not be directed @ him. Those classes actually teach self control...you're funny though.

Bonsoir Jeune femme

Mrbigman1:


Put something jooor. Am not wishing she remains d same, afterwards nothing is permanent

Nothing to put o

She's a time bomb. Among all the negative vices, anger is the worst because when it's activated, the individual lost control of his/herself and at that moment acts like something else has possessed his/her sense of reasoning subduing the person's self-control not until he/she has succeeded in unleashing that beast out of her. Remember marriage is a long term agreement, if you can't change her now before marriage, forget it because you can't change her after marriage. Recently there was this case of murder whereby a lawyer wife murdered her husband because she suspected he was having another family outside theirs. This happened because she lacks the ability to manage her anger and i know you wouldn't want to be a victim of anger management. It could start as a mere misunderstanding.

Anger management? Are there specialists for that?

Funkychic:


@Op.......let her go and do Anger Management. #myopinion#

My colleague just ran away from his house to mine last week because of a radically tempered woman. We have been trying to settle and she is not helping it. Giving the guy ultimatum to return or she will come to the office to create a scene. Using threats and curses always. What is the issue,? she shouts down at the gate man and house help and my guy is against it. Her position? chose btw gateman & house help or me.
My guy try, I would not cope.....just a 2yr marriage.

You have to tell her, as clearly as you did so here that it is affecting your relationship and she has to be conscious of her temper. If she doesn't control it then she runs the risk of alienating you.

It is well

Make her see a therapist, anger can be managed and control, make her undergo anger control training and practice. From her age she is still young and their is tendency that her bile circulation is high, some goes down with time as the person advance. There's need for u also to find out how she react to issues, some anything can provoke them, while some got provoke when it's necessary. No one is perfect, but learn how to manage her anger because that is her obvious weakness before you talk of marriage. It's not as bitter cola sounds is the taste.

herbie27:
why beat any woman.

Any relationship ur in dat involves beating is unhealthy.

Any man that beats a woman is an excuse for a man

says who?

this one deals with anger management and the relationship is not even healthy when one can't control her angers.

until she carry knife come kill him before you go characterize the relationship as unhealthy

one need to act fast before it get out of hands and now is the time for him to either beat the hell out of her and show her that he is the man or take her to a psychiatric hospital.
but I knew you know that she won't even agree to this bolded option because no Nigeria WOMAN WILL ever admit that she has a mental problem until its too late.

mencade5:
Please bear with me. The thread is a bit long. This thread is about me and not my friend. (lol)

i honestly need mature advise from the married and matured folks here.

I am in a very serious relationship with this lady. This is our 12th months together and i plan to propose to her in few months time.

I observe that she has hot temper. Each time we had little misunderstanding she flare up and wouldnt calm down for us to resolve and settle it amicably.

Being a gentleman i believe there are no perfect relationships. Quarrels and disagreements must pop up no matter what.

Yesterday we quarreled due to certain issue we had agreed on. I must confess i caused it but i was quick to realise it and apologise but she wouldnt listen. She made an attempt to call a friend of hers to report the issue. I stopped her. She again wanted to call her pastor too i blocked her hands and was surprise why she is inviting third parties to our matter. She was even voicing it out for people to hear us quarreling and i was calming her down to lower her voice.

This lady is the type every man needs. Religious, good cook, prayerful and she gives me advise on so many occasion.

Her parents are late and she was abandoned by her brothers and sisters due to change of religion. I dont know maybe this affected her attitude.

I myself i have my own wrong sides yet i am ready to accept her wrong and hope she do the same to me. But she wouldnt.

I have talked to her about her anger and made her understand that it is not good for us. Yet yesterdays event surprised me.

Please sorry about the long post. I just need advise or advises about how to handle this issue with my woman.

To add she is 23 and i am 29 years.

From all u have said..

I would say u are the cause of all her misbehaviour.. U have been giving her too much attention...

Dump her ass and move on.. Best advise I can give u..

Cos if she fit do lyk dat before u marry.. When una marry una quarrel no go be hear o..

I so much dislike make I tell woman my precious sorry... Make she come dey form...

One thing I have learnt... Never tell a woman sorry 99% of the tym.. Lock up total even when u are wrong.. When she cries.. Allow her cry wella, make sure bout 99% of her tears must have dropped before u pet her..

Buh still don't tell her sorry... U just say it's Alryt..

Gaskia:
My colleague just ran away from his house to mine last week because of a radically tempered woman. We have been trying to settle and she is not helping it. Giving the guy ultimatum to return or she will come to the office to create a scene. Using threats and curses always. What is the issue,? she shouts down at the gate man and house help and my guy is against it. Her position? chose btw gateman & house help or me.
My guy try, I would not cope.....just a 2yr marriage.

If Na me.. I go choose the gate man and the house help sharply... That woman dey mad for testing my capacity...

Woman chase me commot from house I dey pay for with my hard earned money..!? Na dat tym her kolo go know say e get senior brother. .

komododragons:
says who?

this one deals with anger management and the relationship is not even healthy when one can't control her angers.

until she carry knife come kill him before you go characterize the relationship as unhealthy

one need to act fast before it get out of hands and now is the time for him to either beat the hell out of her and show her that he is the man or take her to a psychiatric hospital.
but I knew you know that she won't even agree to this bolded option because no Nigeria WOMAN WILL ever admit that she has a mental problem until its too late.

if beating your wife proves that your the man of the house means u stoped being the man of the house long ago.

If u go into marriage wit dis ur mindset, it is going to disturb u and is nt good cos ur only abusing the woman, she's nt a puncing bag bt ur wife.

Any woman dat loves to be beaten needs psychiatric evaluation.

shez a christian, good cook, gud advicer , wife material & yet she hot tempered so watz d sparkling character in her dat any guy wud want bkos personal I can't manage wit a woman dat doesn't av anger control sensor

Listen to that part of your heart which you feel is telling the truth and you don't want to hear. No matter how painful the decision sounds, it will save you alot of heartache. If not you will have another write up on FP.

Just cut her tail .So simple

ops. watch out too make she no cut ur joy stick one day

shaiba:
I'm happy for you, taking a step in the right direction.

Relationships of any kind is to help each other's weakness.

She may have some underlying pains that tends to trigger this anger, like you said she lost both parents and was abandoned by her brothers and sisters due to change of religion. What type of religion would separate a family? Has she tried to re-unit with them? They are the ones that will still give her out in marriage according to custom. What step has she/u taken to resolve this?

She has not enjoyed parental love or that kind of family love? This she found in you. She is lost and frustrated at the same time. You need to talk more about everything and anything. let her know you are ready to listen and not try to solve all her problems. You are now her father and mother.

As Christians, your foundation should be in the word of God. There are great prophets of God that lost out in God's Blessings because of anger.
Two can only walk together if they agree...

You should both go for counseling

See a therapist if need be.

Think, talk, pray and talk again.

I pray God to help you both in taking the right decision.

Oh my goodness. Nice piece of advice

Cane

Is it too late to drop an advice ?

mencade5:
Please bear with me. The thread is a bit long. This thread is about me and not my friend. (lol)

i honestly need mature advise from the married and matured folks here.

I am in a very serious relationship with this lady. This is our 12th months together and i plan to propose to her in few months time.

I observe that she has hot temper. Each time we had little misunderstanding she flare up and wouldnt calm down for us to resolve and settle it amicably.

Being a gentleman i believe there are no perfect relationships. Quarrels and disagreements must pop up no matter what.

Yesterday we quarreled due to certain issue we had agreed on. I must confess i caused it but i was quick to realise it and apologise but she wouldnt listen. She made an attempt to call a friend of hers to report the issue. I stopped her. She again wanted to call her pastor too i blocked her hands and was surprise why she is inviting third parties to our matter. She was even voicing it out for people to hear us quarreling and i was calming her down to lower her voice.

This lady is the type every man needs. Religious, good cook, prayerful and she gives me advise on so many occasion.

Her parents are late and she was abandoned by her brothers and sisters due to change of religion. I dont know maybe this affected her attitude.

I myself i have my own wrong sides yet i am ready to accept her wrong and hope she do the same to me. But she wouldnt.

I have talked to her about her anger and made her understand that it is not good for us. Yet yesterdays event surprised me.

Please sorry about the long post. I just need advise or advises about how to handle this issue with my woman.

To add she is 23 and i am 29 years.

You have gone to the camp of the Ishmeelite to marry abi. Ok.

herbie27:
if beating your wife proves that your the man of the house means u stoped being the man of the house long ago.

If u go into marriage wit dis ur mindset is going to disturb and is nt good cos ur only abusing the woman, she's nt a puncing bad bt ur wife.

Any woman dat loves to be beaten needs psychiatric evaluation.

I can see Were you are coming from!

your own point of view is only in defense of women probably because ya a WOMAN. if a woman behave very well will a man lay his hand on her? no.

you and I know what this woman is doing is not good but ya refuse to give any suggestion but directly attacking someone's opinion on this just because ya don't like the opinion.


so a woman who is hot temper and can't control her anger don't needs any psychiatric evaluation

ya a WOMAN after all! you don't know how it feels like to be in an abusive relationship with WOMEN.

@op,hope u remember d ibadan lawyer wey stabbed her husband in anger?Honestly,anger is small madness.

Read what d book of proverbs in d bible says abt anger. I'l advice u discuss d issue with her pastor and watch if she will change b4 taking any step.
You deserve joy and happiness in ur marriage.

please forget about that lady. Anger is next to madness and it could lead to serious violence. Run now that you have not committed yourself to her

Ginaz:
I wish I could give you advise but I'm terribly angry now myself.

Another one of the same ? Holy Moses !

sugarbeesmith:
ops. watch out too make she no cut ur joy stick one day

Lolzzzz.

make the op MUMU just himself no handle that WOMAN with iron hand.

she go soon cut he prick and the OP go come here with new topic saying: HELP! my wife to be just cut my prick and I don't know what to do! pls I need a mature advise

komododragons:
I can see Were you are coming from!

your own point of view is only in defense of women probably because ya a WOMAN. if a woman behave very well will a man lay his hand on her? no.

you and I know what this woman is doing is not good but ya refuse to give any suggestion but directly attacking someone's opinion on this just because ya don't like the opinion.


so a woman who is hot temper and can't control her anger don't needs any psychiatric evaluation

ya a WOMAN after all! you don't know how it feels like to be in an abusive relationship with WOMEN.

there are millions of women out there who are in abusive relationships wit men(husbands), if u trully love your wife or girlfriend u wouldn't lay a hand on her, no matter the provocation.

Every1 has a temper bt there are ppl whose tempers are more and if u find urself in such relationship i assume u knw ur spouses soft spot....why nt play wit dat wen u trigger their temper dan beating cos is even worse wen u resort to beating...one of u could die on the process.

This thread shld be for married men to advice him nt boys who are advicing him to resort to beating....u shld all be ashamed of urselves for giving such callous advice.