petkoffdrake2:
Summary pls

dicefrost:
This article will stir up ugly emotions, I ll be attacked and derided for holding an unpopular view, and not being politically correct. Hence, I would like to start with a disclaimer. First, I respect women a lot. I do not see them as second class citizens. I am not a chauvinist, and this is not a deliberate attempt to court controversy. I only wish to say the hard truth without being prosaic about it. That said, the ugly truth must be told no matter how acerbic.


The recent gender Equality bill that was thrown out from the senate generated a raucous reaction from women all over Nigeria. Female Celebrities where quite ostentatious in their support, everyone had something to say in support of the bill. It became a crime to be on the other side. I for one, I am against discrimination in any form. But I find this gender equality struggle to be quite confused, disorderly and inconsistent with the pattern of behavior of our women who are themselves champions of the course. Certain questions would need to the extricated and answered punctiliously without bias.

Are Nigerian women really discriminated against?


This is not Iran or Saudi Arabia, our Constitution secures the rights of everyone without bias for sex. What is open to me is open to any Nigerian woman. Granted, we are fresh from a generation where women were denied education, where it was erroneously believed that a woman's place is in the kitchen. We also had traditions and customs that prevented widows from access to their late husband's properties. But all those have become obsolete. Education and a little 'westernization' has changed our way of life. There are as many girls as there are boys at all levels of education today. Nobody is denied admission into any program on grounds of gender. Women are appointed into public offices, they head co-operations and institutions. The vice chancellor of my university is a woman. So I ask again, are women really discriminated against?



Have women somehow placed themselves at a disadvantage?

A fastidious look at our society today will reveal an eerie truth; women are behind. But who is to blame? Is it men? Is it women? Or is it the society at large?. Granted, there is equal opportunity for all, but have our women utilized the opportunity? Let us take a look at education for instance. At the undergraduate level in our universities, there is an even mix of males and females, all given the same opportunity to aspire and excel. But look beyond the undergraduate level, how many female professors are there compared to the males? How many University vice chancellors are females compared to the males? How many female billionaires can you identify?. Has any law or institution prevented women from reaching out to these enviable positions? The answer is No! Then why are our women still lagging behind? Its simple, that is just how our women are wired. Place a boy and a girl side by side, and watch how their lives unfold. At graduation, a boy is worried about the future, he wants to carve out his own path, he thinks about how to make money and raise a family, he has goals and dreams to pursue, marriage is only a compliment to his achievement . But an average Nigerian girl is mostly only worried about finding a successful man and getting married. Hence, the boy is more likely to pursue academics further, or chase a personal dream. But when your immediate dream is to get married, you tend to chase everything else passively. Granted, their are exceptions. I know some women who are quite ambitious and a little boisterous. But those are just the exception. For the majority, the moxie simply isn't there to chase any dream. When they eventually marry, a lot of dreams become unachievable.

Marriage is another institution in which women feel suppressed and dominated. But who do we blame for this? Remember we are in a country where religion controls lives and thinking. The major religions in Nigeria seem to have one definite organogram for marriage, whereby the man is the head of the family and the final decision maker, while the woman is a supporter or helper. There is no equality in marriage, at least that is what the Bible and the Koran teach. Hence, if a woman has a problem with this belief or practice, it would amount to a faux pas to subject herself to marriage under those laws. You cannot voluntarily subject yourself to the laws of the church or mosque and thereafter turn around to fight those laws. As an alternative, if a woman wants equality in a marriage, she should look for a suitable partner, a man who shares similar belief and values, and is willing to cede control and embrace equality. Such issues must be discussed and clarified before tying the knot to avoid personality conflict, while the marriage should be contracted without religious interference. However, If you choose to marry a typical Nigerian man, who believes he should be the head of the family, then be ready to live accordingly, or quit the marriage.




What did nature design?

Look closely at the physical, emotional and psychological make up of a man and a woman, the inequality is obvious. They were never created to be equal. The man was created to be the dominant specie, the provider and protector. While the woman whom the bible likened to a 'weaker vessel' was created to be a helper, one who should be loved, cherished and cared for. The physiology of both gender clearly shows this difference. Can you compare the physical strength and stamina or emotional make up of a man to a woman of the same age or even slightly older?. There is a question I usually ask feminists; in the advent a humanitarian crisis, why are women and children rescued first? Why are they the primary concern? Even in your own home, if you have to send someone out into a dangerous neighborhood at night, who would it rather be? your 19years old son or 22 years old daughter?. In the western world where feminism and gender equality has taken roots, has the gap between males and females been bridged? Have females become as prominent as males in all spheres of life? Let us tell ourselves the hard truth, nature created the inequality and man cannot change it.





What do women really want? Equality or Preferential treatment?

You would hear women complain about how there are not enough women in politics, to the extent of demanding that 30percent of political appointments be reserved for women. Have you ever heard women complain about the number of women in the military?. When we use to have coal mines, our Labour laws prohibited women from working in the mines. But they never complained, and they never will. Women would demand equality in marriage, but how many women would walk up to a man they love and propose to him, and then spend their own money to arrange a wedding?. A man would naturally just marry a woman he loves, irrespective of her background and current financial state. But how many women in our time would marry or even date a jobless man, say an undergraduate, and accept to finance the relationship? They will be quick to tell you how the man is suppose to be the provider, and care for her. In fact, some of our women see marriage as a poverty alleviation program. That is why they will not settle for less. Most of our female undergraduates will not consider dating a classmate or age mate, because they want someone who is above them, but they will later demand for equality. Is it not hypocrisy? Even the feminists will still prefare to marry up the ladder. What women are after today is not really equality, it is power and control, but blame them not, the tyranny of men has become unbearable. Women must feel the need to cease power and exert revenge.


What do women need?

Our women must realize that equal treatment is not always fair. Sometimes equality or equal treatment is dangerous to the weak. Will our women like to dominate the military? Will they be willing to sacrifice their 'maternity leave' and work all round like men? Will they be ready to become breadwinners and providers in the family? Are they willing to initiate marriages and pay 'groom's price? and thereafter finance the wedding? Granted, some women do these things today. But as mentioned earlier, those are exceptions, and hardly the norm. Gender equality is only achievable on paper, but not practicable, even for the women. What women really need is not equality under law, but protection under law. Women need to be protected from the tyranny of men who have over stretched their bounds, and assumed more authority than God had bestowed. As the weaker gender, laws should be passed to protect women from abuse and discrimination, and that is what that bill should be about. But it was erroneously called a 'gender equality bill' what it ought to be is 'a bill to protect the rights of women'


dicefrost.
lalasticlala I haven't been in front for a while.
vinshu
tpiar

Tallesty1:
They want to be given everything on earth because they're women



I wonder how they expect a Nigerian man who used 750k to collect list from some village uncles to tolerate equality in marriage.

theplanmaker:
jadekitana
stupedinluv
julietcutie
pucelle
rocktation

I'd like your opinion

Jadekitana:


I'm not in support of all these gender equality or what have you, i'v never contributed anything to it. Women should know their rightful place in the society and men shouldn't abuse it. A woman can never be equal to a man, God created man to be the head(just that some don't know their duties) a woman should be behind him or sideways as a help mate. I believe when men start doing the right thing and take responsibility for their actions, these women screaming gender bullshiit would keep shut.

Moz22:
respect to you.. I have followed up ur post up till this last one and I must say u are one of d very few sane girls we have here on nairaland. I saw how u were largely abused, criticized and called a guy hiding under a female moniker bt u stood ur ground. Someday, I hope we can have a rappour. Cheers

obiorathesubtle:

Jadekitana:


I'm not in support of all these gender equality or what have you, i'v never contributed anything to it. Women should know their rightful place in the society and men shouldn't abuse it. A woman can never be equal to a man, God created man to be the head(just that some don't know their duties) a woman should be behind him or sideways as a help mate. I believe when men start doing the right thing and take responsibility for their actions, these women screaming gender bullshiit would keep shut.

Adaeze003:


Well... the equality thing is not for everyone... you can still be/feel inferior if you want just don't speak for every woman... you should know your place.

Adaeze003:


Well... the equality thing is not for everyone... you can still be/feel inferior if you want just don't speak for every woman... you should know your place.

LuveU2:
I dont believe women are unequal to men.
Yes, their physical structures, duties and natural abilities differ but none is superior to the other. Else, how do you define superiority? For the fact you toil harder to meet your daily bread and she stays to look after her home and children has not made you superior. Yes you are the head, but the head is not more superior than the neck.

Men need women as much as women need men. For this reason, they should be respected, their rights, their decisions should be respected.
If they wish to participate more in politics than the miltary, haven taken cognizance of their strenghts/weaknesses, respect that!!!

If a mother will never look at her fragile baby and tell him she is superior or greater than him, none of you should tell a woman you are superior cos you are NOT

More physical strenght and headship does not equal superiority but a higher calling.

Only men who receive this calling with humility turn out to be respectful and more beneficial.

Cc Stupedinluv darling

sheunsheun:

Yes its lengthy bt it aint crap boss. Back to d topic, all they want is to b lyk men, do what men do, they dnt want to b sidelined @ all. Thats why most lady have more male frnds dan female. They want to ve a d**k if possible

Lol.. They envy us badly

obiorathesubtle:
Lol.. They envy us badly

Stupedinluv:
LuveU2 Thanks You hit the nail right on the head

Thanks hun

Jadekitana:


It's not about inferiority complex madam, it can't work! Go through all my threads, you would know i'm not an asslicker, I say it as it is. This thing about women trying to be equal with men can't work! We ain't in the US,this is nigeria we'v got our norms, laws and traditions. We should focus on developing ourselves as women and not trying to take the place of our men and be equal to them! I'm not in support to such an unrealistic idea. You should know your place as a woman as well.