freecocoa:
MRBrownJ.

I think you are missing the point.

When you care about someone, you definitely find little ways of showing it, that's what people in relationships do.

How can your woman open her mouth to ask you for some money to have her hair done(something she doesn't do always) and you say she should wear the one she has on for 3 months, like wtf?

I am all for taking care of one's needs with your own money but come on...

Wonders

And here I thought you were a feminist.. you mean you people still ask for hair money too?

@Mindfulness

SURElee:
OP! Pls dump his stingy and broke ass. You already know he's stingy to his family members, how did you expect him to treat you? Just continue with him till marriage and you foot all the bills from house rent, school fees and feeding while he crosses his legs to read newspapers. A guy in oil coy, asking his babe to caRry one hair style for 3months? He go soon tell you to use 1 pack of sanitary towel for 6months no worry.

the above is exactly what men should watch out for...
1) terms like the above "a man in oil coy" etc, where women believe that such men cant refuse anything and should throw money out the window. if some women can keep hairstyles for 3 months then, unless you can give your man a GOOD REASON why you need to change yours every week (and HE needs to pay for it), you will either have to keep yours for 3months too or pay it yourself.

2) it starts with little things like Tfare etc, that "supposedly" men need to pay for, and then CUMULATES to having the duty of even buying women's sanitary towel, haba! how often a woman buys or changes her sanitary pads is down to HER ONLY. men should have absolutely NOTHING to do with that issue.

Ladies, watchout for how a man treats the females in his life(mum, sisters, cousins, nieces, colleagues etc) cos thatshow he's also going to treat you.

what ladies should also "watch out" for (and probably learn from), is other ladies that dont beg for anything and instead ACT RIGHT, which in turn makes their men believe they DESERVE, not only tricklets but everything.

@tearoses @Freecocoa
how/where did you guys lose the meaning of love in your lives??!
YES, sacrifices have to be made for the RIGHT person. the fact that y'all assume that this guy loves this gal, or that she has done what is right in this r/ship, is the reason why we cant see eye to eye on this issue.
YES, giving is important but the MONETARY VALUE of the gifts isnt (and shouldnt make any difference).

earlier i wrote:"if she had any sense of care then she should have tried to UNDERSTAND what was wrong (aka the source) instead of coming here and talk about the handouts/gifts she didnt get."
the reason she doesnt know why he is supposedly always broke; the reason she wont investigate, is because SHE DOESNT CARE!!!! the only thing that matters to her is the MONEY that she believes this oil worker should swim in, and thus spread to her generously.her only concern IS, and will remain money.... money that she foolishly believes she deserves, and sadly that she wasnt getting.

here is the PROOF: when her man told her he was broke, she didnt ask him what was the issue, OR tell him that everything was gonna be ok, OR give him a massage to relax OR even offer her salary to help him sort his life out.... NOOOO, what she did was GET ANNOYED by hearing such news.
now, let me ask all you smart women a question: what CARING woman, in her right mind, would get annoyed if her man says he is broke?!
you are all talking about LOVE/CARE/AFFECTION yet when this lady wrote such nonsense, you all band together in support of her Goldigging tactics. is this how "loving/caring/affectionate" people react when hearing their man is broke, really?! and you now want this man to show care towards this ungrateful person?!

AGAIN, here is what she wrote:

but i have come to notice that he is always complaining of being broke, it's annoying because i know he works with a good oil company,

crackhaus:

Wonders

And here I thought you were a feminist.. you mean you people still ask for hair money too?

You no get sense, am I the OP?

MRBrownJ:
@Mindfulness





the above is exactly what men should watch out for...
1) terms like the above "a man in oil coy" etc, where women believe that such men cant refuse anything and should throw money out the window. if some women can keep hairstyles for 3 months then, unless you can give your man a GOOD REASON why you need to change yours every week (and HE needs to pay for it), you will either have to keep yours for 3months too or pay it yourself.

2) it starts with little things like Tfare etc, that "supposedly" men need to pay for, and then CUMULATES to having the duty of even buying women's sanitary towel, haba! how often a woman buys or changes her sanitary pads is down to HER ONLY. men should have absolutely NOTHING to do with that issue.



what ladies should also "watch out" for (and probably learn from), is other ladies that dont beg for anything and instead ACT RIGHT, which in turn makes their men believe they DESERVE, not only tricklets but everything.

@tearoses @Freecocoa
how/where did you guys lose the meaning of love in your lives??!
YES, sacrifices have to be made for the RIGHT person. the fact that y'all assume that this guy loves this gal, or that she has done what is right in this r/ship, is the reason why we cant see eye to eye on this issue.
YES, giving is important but the MONETARY VALUE of the gifts isnt (and shouldnt make any difference).

earlier i wrote:"if she had any sense of care then she should have tried to UNDERSTAND what was wrong (aka the source) instead of coming here and talk about the handouts/gifts she didnt get."
the reason she doesnt know why he is supposedly always broke; the reason she wont investigate, is because SHE DOESNT CARE!!!! the only thing that matters to her is the MONEY that she believes this oil worker should swim in, and thus spread to her generously.her only concern IS, and will remain money.... money that she foolishly believes she deserves, and sadly that she wasnt getting.

here is the PROOF: when her man told her he was broke, she didnt ask him what was the issue, OR tell him that everything was gonna be ok, OR give him a massage to relax OR even offer her salary to help him sort his life out.... NOOOO, what she did was GET ANNOYED by hearing such news.
now, let me ask all you smart women a question: what CARING woman, in her right mind, would get annoyed if her man says he is broke?!
you are all talking about LOVE/CARE/AFFECTION yet when this lady wrote such nonsense, you all band together in support of her Goldigging tactics. is this how "loving/caring/affectionate" people react when hearing their man is broke, really?! and you now want this man to show care towards this ungrateful person?!

AGAIN, here is what she wrote:

sensei MBJ argue no further. if a person cannot understand your posts, its futile explaining any further

@Onegai
funny story, but allow me:
#1 if a man complains bitterly about girls chopping their money then, unfortunately, you need to place the entire blame of your fellow criminal sistas who are defrauding good men all over the land, which makes these men ever more tight fisted.
if you had ACTED RIGHT, and gave him time, he would have seen that you were a good woman. sadly you were in a hurry for gifts and handouts, i guess.

#2 if a man seek for sexual favors and you refuse to give, then how are you any different than the person who refuse to give you gifts?!

#3 if such man breaks up with you then OBVIOUSLY he didnt like or care for you

#4 it is YOUR duty to show a man that you are a woman WORTHY enough to deserve anything. a man who spends for no reason whatsoever will equally dump you for no reason whatsoever.... because you have no idea what his aim is.

#5 so he went on to meet "gehs" who he was spending money on?! damn, something was REALY foul about you then?! maybe it was your narrow minded tribalistic views about Yorubas.

but the IMPORTANT question is: if he was a Yoruba demon (as you claim), then why were you gladly dating the "demon"?!

freecocoa:
You no get sense, am I the OP?

You sef no get sense, can't you answer simple question?

MRBrownJ

They have been dating for months, tell me how it won't become annoying if he is "always" complaining of being broke, without saying why that is? Oh! She should investigate, investigate what exactly? Is the man a baby that needs to be monitored on what he does with his money? Why can't he explain why he is ever broke without being interrogated about it, especially since doesn't wait to be told to complain.

At least she gives him money for gas, even if we don't know what else she does, then there's the constant demand for sex, which she gives into(even when she doesn't want to) just to satisfy him, yet somehow you think she doesn't care about him, because she expects that he be invested in some of her needs.

You keep making reference to her mentioning that he works in an oil coy, from what I know, that is to give an insight on the type of job he does and it is not news that, oil firms often pay better. Even if he isn't an oil worker, someone who works, gets paid so we shouldn't make it all about the oil coy.

A man who isn't stingy, won't say a hairdo should be worn for 3 months, though I'm not in support of the idea of asking for such from a man, the society we live in, has made it so that, women believe it is one of the simplest things a man who cares, will do for you, it is a culture here.

crackhaus:

You sef no get sense, can't you answer simple question?

Why you go ask me mumu question? What has asking for money for hairdo, got to do with me being a feminist?

freecocoa:
MRBrownJ
They have been dating for months, tell me how it won't become annoying if he is "always" complaining of being broke, without saying why that is? Oh! She should investigate, investigate what exactly? Is the man a baby that needs to be monitored on what he does with his money? Why can't he explain why he is ever broke without being interrogated about it, especially since doesn't wait to be told to complain.

being broke is hard enough, so that man doesnt have to dwell on the issue IF HIS WOMAN DOESNT ENQUIRE. if that woman acts like such answer (aka i am broke) is a good enough answer, then why should her man say any more? HE is ok with that answer, only the person who is NOT ok with it should question further. if she isnt interested in knowing then why tell her?! this is called LIFE101

At least she gives him money for gas, even if we don't know what else she does, then there's the constant demand for sex, which she gives into(even when she doesn't want to) just to satisfy him, yet somehow you think she doesn't care about him, because she expects that he be invested in some of her needs.

A) she doesnt GIVE him money for gas, it is a LOAN.... she "borrows" such money, dont get it twisted!
B) if she didnt biatch about the following, then you can rest assure that this guy is paying for every: DATES, EATERY, OUTINGS, CINEMAS , TRAVELS etc.. thats "care"
C) now sex is a favor from women to men?!?!?!?!?!?!? NONSENSE!!!!!!

You keep making reference to her mentioning that he works in an oil coy, from what I know, that is to give an insight on the type of job he does and it is not news that, oil firms often pay better. Even if he isn't an oil worker, someone who works, gets paid so we shouldn't make it all about the oil coy.

do you believe that a rich man cant be broke?! do you believe that an oil company worker cant be broke?
just because a person gets paid, doesnt mean he has available cash. there is something in this life called RESPONSIBILITY, aka house payments/rent, car payment, buy PETROL, pay bills, pay for food and upkeep, loan payment etc

A man who isn't stingy, won't say a hairdo should be worn for 3 months, though I'm not in support of the idea of asking for such from a man, the society we live in, has made it so that, women believe it is one of the simplest things a man who cares, will do for you, it is a culture here.

so, what you are saying is that... if my ex only changed her hairdo every 3 months, and you now ask for hair money every week, i SHOULDNT ask A) why yours is more frequent than hers, B) why should i pay for it or C) how were you paying for it every week, before you met me?! and when you give me an answer to these questions, i SHOULDNT question it because thats what donkeys in Nigeria are willing to do?!
here is what my answer will simply be: what do you do with YOUR money, that is SOOO special, that you cant use it to pay for your own hair?!

freecocoa:
Why you go ask me mumu question? What has asking for money for hairdo, got to do with me being a feminist?

So it's true then, you can ask for money to make your hair.

I am ashamed of and for you...

crackhaus:

So it's true then, you can ask for money to make your hair.

I am ashamed of and for you...

This is why I say you no get sense.

What is the relationship between feminism and money for hairdo?

Just answer the question, whether I ask for money for hair do or not, is not the issue here.

freecocoa:
This is why I say you no get sense.

What is the relationship between feminism and money for hairdo?

Just answer the question, whether I ask for money for hair do or not, is not the issue here.

But me and you, who no really get sense here?

You mean a feminist still has the impetus to need financial assistance from her equal to make her own darn hair? Her own hair dammit...

Freecocoa, what do you call a feminist that can't get herself a new hairdo?

MRBrownJ:


1.being broke is hard enough, so that man doesnt have to dwell on the issue IF HIS WOMAN DOESNT ENQUIRE. if that woman acts like such answer (aka i am broke) is a good enough answer, then why should her man say any more? HE is ok with that answer, only the person who is NOT ok with it should question further. if she isnt interested in knowing then why tell her?! this is called LIFE101



2A[b]A)[/b] she doesnt GIVE him money for gas, it is a LOAN.... she "borrows" such money, dont get it twisted!
2B[b]B)[/b] if she didnt biatch about the following, then you can rest assure that this guy is paying for every: DATES, EATERY, OUTINGS, CINEMAS , TRAVELS etc.. thats "care"
2C.C) now sex is a favor from women to men?!?!?!?!?!?!? NONSENSE!!!!!!



3.do you believe that a rich man cant be broke?! do you believe that an oil company worker cant be broke?
just because a person gets paid, doesnt mean he has available cash. there is something in this life called RESPONSIBILITY, aka house payments/rent, car payment, buy PETROL, pay bills, pay for food and upkeep, loan payment etc



4.so, what you are saying is that... if my ex only changed her hairdo every 3 months, and you now ask for hair money every week, i SHOULDNT ask A) why yours is more frequent than hers, B) why should i pay for it or C) how were you paying for it every week, before you met me?! and when you give me an answer to these questions, i SHOULDNT question it because thats what donkeys in Nigeria are willing to do?!
here is what my answer will simply be: what do you do with YOUR money, that is SOOO special, that you cant use it to pay for your own hair?!

1.Oh really? You men can be funny sometimes. Like there is a way that will happen, without the woman being tagged 'having her eye on his money' what kind of man always says 'I am broke' btw? Always o, that sentence literally spells, "I don't want to talk about it". Money is a very delicate issue and you don't force yourself onto someone when money is involved, if he was a decent man who gave a hoot, he would know how to broach the subject without sounding so dismissive.

2A.i didn't read that it was a loan, if I remember correctly, she said he asks her for gas money.
2B.A man who borrows money for gas and is[b]ALWAYS[/b]broke will pay for dates, et el? Pray tell, where will he get money for those, if he is always broke?
2C.i never said sex was a "favour" to men, but since you brought up, it can be a "favour" to either party and as far as this case is concerned, the woman did it for the man.

3.Anybody can be broke. Agreed, there's something called responsibility, now that is where you get to find out that this man in particular is stingy, his siblings are not necessarily his responsibilities, but he is a bachelor, he doesn't give his family money, he doesn't give his girlfriend money, he asks her for money to fill his tank, rent is usually paid annually or biannually(very rarely) or every 2 years in naija, so we can't say he pays rent every month, this leads room for us to assume he works only to feed himself and pay back loans, which no one knows of, cool. I wonder what he used the loan for.

4.lets not go off topic here, she didn't ask for money every week, she said she only asked one time and got such reply, and I don't see how your ex should be a yardstick for measurement. I'm not the OP, so I can't specifically say why he should pay for her hair but I could put up some theories. It could be because[b]A[/b]she was broke the time of asking B[/b]she wanted to know if he cares about her looks enough to contribute to it [b]C.know if he is the type of man that will think little of her cos he paid for her hairdo. You should question the answers of course, I am only saying, that, it is what's obtainable.

crackhaus:


But me and you, who no really get sense here?

You mean a feminist still has the impetus to need financial assistance from her equal to make her own darn hair? Her own hair dammit...

Freecocoa, what do you call a feminist that can't get herself a new hairdo?

I don't like to engage una most times because you people are rarely objective. Just what does being equal have to do with needing money? Men can't be in need of money to take care of themselves physically?

So because I'm feminist, I must always have money for my hair do, life cannot happen to a feminist? Don't make me call you stup1d o, this na new era o, behave yourself.

freecocoa:
I don't like to engage una most times because you people are rarely objective. Just what does being equal have to do with needing money? Men can't be in need of money to take care of themselves physically?

So because I'm feminist, I must always have money for my hair do, life cannot happen to a feminist? Don't make me call you stup1d o, this na new era o, behave yourself.

Men need money to take care of themselves of course, I just haven't met one who will ask for money from his woman to get himself groomed or get a haircut.

You must not always have money as a feminist, YOU MUST ALWAYS have money to make your own damn hair AS A FEMINIST.
I dare you to call me stup1d after telling me you can't make your own hair by yourself as a feminist

MRBrownJ:
@Onegai
funny story, but allow me:
#1 if a man complains bitterly about girls chopping their money then, unfortunately, you need to place the entire blame of your fellow criminal sistas who are defrauding good men all over the land, which makes these men ever more tight fisted.
if you had ACTED RIGHT, and gave him time, he would have seen that you were a good woman. sadly you were in a hurry for gifts and handouts, i guess.

#2 if a man seek for sexual favors and you refuse to give, then how are you any different than the person who refuse to give you gifts?!

#3 if such man breaks up with you then OBVIOUSLY he didnt like or care for you

#4 it is YOUR duty to show a man that you are a woman WORTHY enough to deserve anything. a man who spends for no reason whatsoever will equally dump you for no reason whatsoever.... because you have no idea what his aim is.

#5 so he went on to meet "gehs" who he was spending money on?! damn, something was REALY foul about you then?! maybe it was your narrow minded tribalistic views about Yorubas.

but the IMPORTANT question is: if he was a Yoruba demon (as you claim), then why were you gladly dating the "demon"?!

Sigh. Are you the new misogynist on the Family Section block? seriously, you realise that it is not a paid job, bah?

Lots of stunningly bad assumptions on your part. "Yoruba Demon" is a funny meme about Yoruba guys. If i am tribalistic about the tribe, then I'm hating quite a lot of my family. You don't know much about Society, do you? Dude likes the type of girls who are wonderful about flaunting for the 'gram. Those type of girls don't date poor guys, infact they are precisely the type of girls your ilk to insult behind their backs but beg for numbers to their faces your assumption that i treated him wrongly and i am "unworthy" doesn't explain why he tried to come back (or in your rush to pass a cheap insult, you ignored Logic?) I could go on, but eh, don't let me shatter your bad fantasies about me (your comments here might be the highlight of your day, why should I take your little joy from you )

crackhaus:

Men need money to take care of themselves of course, I just haven't met one who will ask for money from his woman to get himself groomed or get a haircut.

You must not always have money as a feminist, YOU MUST ALWAYS have money to make your own damn hair AS A FEMINIST.
I dare you to call me stup1d after telling me you can't make your own hair by yourself as a feminist

It is not today that we will find out you people lie a lot, we already know that. Most men will not say they need the money to have their hair cut, over bloated ego go gree una? But a very reasonable man, who understands that anyone can be broke at anytime, will be honest about what he needs the money for, and I know such men exist. Dey there dey mumu.

Oya come show me where the law says I must use my money for my hair, in short call police come arrest me.

You are more than stup1d for talking rubbish this fine evening, you know how many men I don pay for stuffs for, when they couldn't afford it? You dey craze.

freecocoa:
It is not today that we will find out you people lie a lot, we already know that. Most men will not say they need the money to have their hair cut, over bloated ego go gree una? But a very reasonable man, who understands that anyone can be broke at anytime, will be honest about what he needs the money for, and I know such men exist. Dey there dey mumu.

Oya come show me where the law says I must use my money for my hair, in short call police come arrest me.

You are more than stup1d for talking rubbish this fine evening, you know how many men I don pay for stuffs for, when they couldn't afford it? You dey craze.

You are even much more than stup1d for calling yourself a feminist who can't pay for her own darn hair. If taking care of your own hair too hard you, cut the damn thing off and keep it low... Mumu!

The moment any man starts paying for your personal sh!t especially when you asked/begged him to, consider yourself de-feminized...and make sure that anytime he tells you to jump, you ask him how high.

crackhaus:

You are even much more than stup1d for calling yourself a feminist who can't pay for her own darn hair. If taking care of your own hair too hard you, cut the damn thing off and keep it low... Mumu!

The moment any man starts paying for your personal sh!t especially when you asked/begged him to, consider yourself de-feminized...and make sure that anytime he tells you to jump, you ask him how high.

Someone is pained.

What you don't get is, that the men in my life literally beg me, to let them take care of me, no man tells me to jump or can do so, as we both bring something to the table.

Do I look like the kind of girl that would date a f00lish man? Duh!

Hahahhahaha the comments on this thread sef...

OP, it's probably true like Mbj said that your guy might not be as rich as you think. Sometimes, it's not about where you work but about who you are where you work. Also, remember this are not the best of times for oil workers, I hear some oil companies are far behind in salaries...

Then you could also have probed further to trace the root of his rants. He could be heavily indebted without telling you so he truly may not be able to afford any luxury right now. The fact that he is even borrowing money from you to fuel his car and complaining when his own blood relatives need money from him shows he is not really what you think he is, at least right now.

As per he saying you should carry your hair for 3 months and not giving you tfare; that's really low of him but again, it's possible he just doesn't know how to manage his present 'brokenness' with you.

These are possible scenarios and it might not necessarily be correct but if your mind is not made up about him yet, you might try to get to the root of his problem. If he is truly in a bad state now and you leave him, he would also believe you left him for a richer guy which would technically correct.

His friends say you should consider his good sides; unfortunately, you didn't highlight any of this good side, doesn't he have any? maybe that would have helped in accessing him more objectively but your account of him was really skewed, hence the popular comments on this thread. Recall you mentioned in your opening sentence that you just started observing these traits in him, so what changed?

Ultimately, if his issues are of great concern to you and you are not able to cope, it's better you take a walk now and find someone more compatible but I would advise that you satisfy yourself you left him because it's he is a truly a "stingy koko" and he's not just passing through a temporary phase.

Where is he from? Local government?

Provide this information, and I will tell you how to permanently cure his 'ailment' in 1 month.

freecocoa:
1.Oh really? You men can be funny sometimes. Like there is a way that will happen, without the woman being tagged 'having her eye on his money' what kind of man always says 'I am broke' btw?

as much as i understand that, today, many broke men would rather steal/defraud/kill, and/or simply eat garri for a whole month, in order to use the little money they have left to pretend they are "ok" financially (and impress THESE money orientated women), some men out there cant be bothered and rather be honest about THEMSELVES (and their financial situation) at all times.
the important question is, which one of these 2 types of men you women would rather have in your lives?

Always o, that sentence literally spells, "I don't want to talk about it". Money is a very delicate issue and you don't force yourself onto someone when money is involved, if he was a decent man who gave a hoot, he would know how to broach the subject without sounding so dismissive.

a woman who cares would sit her man down, embrace him and simply say something like:"honey, as we have been together for a few months, you know that i care deeply for you/us, and that i am here for you/us in every possible ways. i would like us... NO let me rephrase that, i NEED us to be stronger emotionally as a couple, and to do so you will have to tell me what is going on so that i can possibly help (if it is in my power). the more you dont open up with me (or anyone) about these issues that seem to worry/stress you, the more you carry this burden inside you,growing bigger and bigger, and i can sense that it worries you a lot. i feel like a stranger in your life, because i cant reach out to you when you are down like that, so PLEASE let me in, let me share this burden that seems to stress and worry you everyday. i may not be able to help financially but if i know what is the issue, then we can try overcoming this as a couple, stronger and closer to one another"

it may take some time but imho the majority of men would slowly open up to their partner then... i know i would!

2A.i didn't read that it was a loan, if I remember correctly, she said he asks her for gas money.

no, she wrote that he was always asking her to borrow him money to fuel his car whereas he has never given her as much as 1k for tfare when she visits him.

2B.A man who borrows money for gas and is[b]ALWAYS[/b]broke will pay for dates, et el? Pray tell, where will he get money for those, if he is always broke?

so you actually believe that this women came on NL to trash her man, and yet she wouldnt tell us if SHE was the one paying for such?! come on, this thread is a BF bashing thread and this would have been the CAKE that the "cherry" (aka what she posted here), sits on.

2C.i never said sex was a "favour" to men, but since you brought up, it can be a "favour" to either party and as far as this case is concerned, the woman did it for the man.

the fact that he is hassling her and doesnt take no for an answer, means that.... she wasnt in the mood to do it then, but then when he started kissing/caressing/licking her in all the right places, she may have "miraculously" got in the mood. as i always say on NL, nobody should have sex with someone, if they dont want to... but because we know that many women out there like to play hard to get, men should try to convince women to have some fun. if wifey say she has a headaches but after a good convincing story (and the right "desperate face", she gladly get down to it, should we now say that hubby is therefore the only one "enjoying" the bedroom acrobatics?!

3.Anybody can be broke. Agreed, there's something called responsibility, now that is where you get to find out that this man in particular is stingy, his siblings are not necessarily his responsibilities, but he is a bachelor, he doesn't give his family money, he doesn't give his girlfriend money, he asks her for money to fill his tank, rent is usually paid annually or biannually(very rarely) or every 2 years in naija, so we can't say he pays rent every month, this leads room for us to assume he works only to feed himself and pay back loans, which no one knows of, cool. I wonder what he used the loan for.

how can you guys make payment plans and BUDGET another person's paycheck?!?!?!?!?! so now a gf is also an accountant AND financial advisor?! unless they sit down and have that important discussion, so that he "may" open up about his financial status, we cant ASSUME anything here... and we must take his words for it when he says that he is broke, because its highly plausible that he is. have an OPEN mind about this issue.

4.lets not go off topic here, she didn't ask for money every week, she said she only asked one time and got such reply, and I don't see how your ex should be a yardstick for measurement. I'm not the OP, so I can't specifically say why he should pay for her hair but I could put up some theories. It could be because[b]A[/b]she was broke the time of asking

good!!! communicating is the way to go to understand the situation, which is what is important here... but since you dont think that exes should be a yardtsick for measurement in r/ship, what should we use then? if i had a great r/ship with my ex, then why shouldnt i use just that as a benchmark on what is needed to create happiness in my r/ships? it would be foolish not to do so, and as much as we must always be open minded in life, we should NEVER do anything that we aint comfortable/willing/able to do. thats the basic of any union, whatever you do must be NATURAL (coming from your own will/desires), and not because your partner desires/forces you to do so.
btw: if she was indeed broke at the time, then let her ask for a "loan", until this man is comfortable paying for such stuff (important word here is COMFORTABLE).

B she wanted to know if he cares about her looks enough to contribute to it

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH! of course he does care, he wouldnt be with her if he didnt like the way she looks... but you know what?! what you wrote here is HIGHLY dangerous. men must be very careful about such seemingly sweet words, because if they fall into this trick/trap, then they open the floodgate on "caring about X,Y and Z".

next, it will be:
- dont you care about the struggle i have at home with my family? then rent me an apt
- dont you care about my comfort? then pay for my taxi or buy me a car, instead of me chasing public transport
- dont you care about me? then pay for my school fees, higher education
- dont you care about how i look? then buy me fancy clothes/shoes etc

only a WIFE has the right to use these words/sentence, and certainly NOT a gf!

@Onegai
are you saying that we cant debate these issues, and bring our points forward any longer? yes, i am passionate about such issue, just like any other issues on NL where i bring my point accross (isnt it what NL was created for?). whether it be my pro abortion views, my support for unmarried parents and/or baby mamas and daddies, and last but not least, my stand against anything religious and its brainwashed sheeps... its all about sharing our views to each topics.
if what i write here makes you believe that i hate women then its sad. i love women dearly, but we have to be on the same platform when in a r/ship, and sadly, i dont believe that a man should EVER do what he doesnt want to, in the name of emotional/sexual blackmail (or desperation). if a man doesnt provide (emotionally/physically/sexually) what YOU require in order to be comfortable in your r/ship, then you MUST leave that union. what you should never do is try to change that man into who YOU want him to be and how you want him to act. such men are puppets and nobody respects them, not even you women.

freecocoa:
Someone is pained.

What you don't get is, that the men in my life literally beg me, to let them take care of me, no man tells me to jump or can do so, as we both bring something to the table.

Do I look like the kind of girl that would date a f00lish man? Duh!

No, you look like the kinda girl that would date any man (f00lish and not so f00lish) as long as he can pay for your hair.. Duh!


And by men in your life, you do mean your uncles, brothers, father, and maybe cousins...right?
See her fvck face like they literally beg her...wetin u carry for body wey dem dey beg

The very next time you collect money from any man to make your hair, you will remember my moniker.

crackhaus:

So it's true then, you can ask for money to make your hair.

I am ashamed of and for you...

So a feminist can't hustle a fool?


She will tell him and if he say's no then her game is wack

crackhaus:

You are even much more than stup1d for calling yourself a feminist who can't pay for her own darn hair. If taking care of your own hair too hard you, cut the damn thing off and keep it low... Mumu!

The moment any man starts paying for your personal sh!t especially when you asked/begged him to, consider yourself de-feminized...and make sure that anytime he tells you to jump, you ask him how high.

Damn, you are baaaaad but funny too.

OP don leave the dude tete, unas still dey here

Yoruba adage says, 'eni tio ba lowo lowo a ni oro gidi lenu' even if he's not buoyant or cash trapped 24/7/365 , his good attitude should speak for him not all the empty bravado oshi. How dare he tell her to carry her hair for 90days, never heard of such ever. He's just a plain stûpid. same fool will turn around to complain she's hitching her scalp excessively. How much is hair sef that he can't take upon himself monthly , e bad reach that side for himself ba?

Dude is just plain stingy period. Whatever idîotic 'test' he or his friends are trying is obviously not working. His type are those that waste all their ample time testing so tey until every wife material leave , then cry foul later in life when they carry oyiboyi enter house.


Crackhaus who tell una say some feminist no dey do aristo? There's always an exception to every rule ya know

crackhaus:

No, you look like the kinda girl that would date any man (f00lish and not so f00lish) as long as he can pay for your hair.. Duh!


And by men in your life, you do mean your uncles, brothers, father, and maybe cousins...right?
See her fvck face like they literally beg her...wetin u carry for body wey dem dey beg

The very next time you collect money from any man to make your hair, you will remember my moniker.

Na sense wey you no get dey worry you like this, if you don't have any sensible thing to contribute to the discussion, just let it be.

I definitely won't become one of those ladies on here that go back and forth with you, trading invectives over nothing.

Play time is over.

Wonders shall never end bt its a clear signal dt ds man is very very stingy nd no good thing cam com out of his ife so far he can do dt to his family 2 and he can advice u 2 carry ur hair for 3 mths its very obvious d man has another place his spendin money on and 2 pls run for ur life bc u wl definitely not get any good thing from ds raelationship

Kimoni:
Hahahhahaha the comments on this thread sef...

OP, it's probably true like Mbj said that your guy might not be as rich as you think. Sometimes, it's not about where you work but about who you are where you work. Also, remember this are not the best of times for oil workers, I hear some oil companies are far behind in salaries...

Then you could also have probed further to trace the root of his rants. He could be heavily indebted without telling you so he truly may not be able to afford any luxury right now. The fact that he is even borrowing money from you to fuel his car and complaining when his own blood relatives need money from him shows he is not really what you think he is, at least right now.

As per he saying you should carry your hair for 3 months and not giving you tfare; that's really low of him but again, it's possible he just doesn't know how to manage his present 'brokenness' with you.

These are possible scenarios and it might not necessarily be correct but if your mind is not made up about him yet, you might try to get to the root of his problem. If he is truly in a bad state now and you leave him, he would also believe you left him for a richer guy which would technically correct.

His friends say you should consider his good sides; unfortunately, you didn't highlight any of this good side, doesn't he have any? maybe that would have helped in accessing him more objectively but your account of him was really skewed, hence the popular comments on this thread. Recall you mentioned in your opening sentence that you just started observing these traits in him, so what changed?

Ultimately, if his issues are of great concern to you and you are not able to cope, it's better you take a walk now and find someone more compatible but I would advise that you satisfy yourself you left him because it's he is a truly a "stingy koko" and he's not just passing through a temporary phase.

Stingy koko you and Ewuro are just taking me back home this early momo with all the slangs and phrases

I miss Naija meen

Spot on and balanced post .

Nothing brings on some naija guys venom like 3 of the words mentioned in the OP. (some of them are stingy kokos though make we no lie)

vbiye:

No woman likes a man who treats her badly, that's why am worried.

I just want you to know that it's possible to give without loving, but it never possible to love without giving.

there is no way a man won't want to take care of and nurture the person or people he loves.

simply put, he doesn't love you. he's just staying because the sex is good.

unless you want to live with that kind of attitude for the rest of your life, I'd advice you to run away from this guy.

damiso:


Stingy koko you and Ewuro are just taking me back home this early momo with all the slangs and phrases

I miss Naija meen

Spot on and balanced post .

Nothing brings on some naija guys venom like 3 of the words mentioned in the OP. (some of them are stingy kokos though make we no lie)

Hahaha
All those boarding school slangs...

Ioannes:


I just want you to know that it's possible to give without loving, but it never possible to love without giving.

there is no way a man won't want to take care of and nurture the person or people he loves.

simply put, he doesn't love you. he's just staying because the sex is good.

unless you want to live with that kind of attitude for the rest of your life, I'd advice you to run away from this guy.

This caught my attention...and I quite agree but do you also realise people give in different ways??

Eg some men are good at giving their time to their families/partners(follow their girlfriends/wives everwhere - market, salon, etc) but score very low in giving monetarily while some give all the money in the world but they are hardly ever available.

It's difficult concluding on who truly loves who by picking solely on how a person gives. Reaching a conclusion is not as simple as you've put it.