I'm a 22yrs old girl, done with school, done with Nysc, done with masters, working and I have a side business. I'm in a 6months relationship with a guy (duh), I would have called him the best guy ever, but he's surely the best boyfriend I've had. He's 34, he's Ibo, I'm Yoruba. He has a small business, He treats me well, buys me things, doesn't mind the fact that I'm plus-sized, is a Christian, always going to church and all. He's practically what every girl would want. He wants to marry me, I've met his sister, who loves me, he wants me to meet his mum, but I said I'm not ready, I'm 22, am I ready for marriage? My elder siblings got married really late, that they had started fasting and praying for husband, I really dont want that to happen to me, besides, I'm done with school and working, what else is left for me to do.... The thing is..... sometime ago, I found out he has a white lover. Well, she's in her 60s and I'm sure we know what that means, #scam! Found out when I checked his phone, they had exchanged nude pics and love messages. He denied at first but ended up confessing after weeks..... I come from a wealthy family and I can't help but to think that this is just another scam. I started thinking- this guy doesn't really make any effort with his business. It's a small business and I don't see it moving forward or bringing in any large amount of money(not a curse, he's just not serious), I even advice him on steps to take, business ideas, he just never seems interested. But he spends, spends on me too, and I've asked so many times how he's getting the money, says he has some money saved up. I am beginning to see him as a lay about. Don't get me wrong, I don't have a problem with dating someone who isn't really financially buoyant but, he's not doing anything about it. Monday morning, 10am, he's still on his bed while I'm at work. I'm like WTF Through out the course of our relationship, we have never fought. Now, I feel I'm his ticket out of being broke (no offense but it just seems that way...but, I may be wrong). Recently, I have tried so hard to bring up arguments or fights, but we never do. This just increases the level of suspicion......... another thing is for about 2 months, he hasn't been able to rise up to the occasion during sex, and he doesn't want to talk about it, even tho I see him drinking some native stuff, but it doesn't seem to be working. It's just frustrating. Another thing is that, he always wants me to make the decisions, like I should be the guy in the relationship... I really don't want that, I'm like decide what you want yourself. Recently, I can't just stand him, I don't wanna talk to him, don't wanna chat, I don't even wanna see him. I've been a very neglecting and annoying girlfriend,hoping he would breakup, but no, he's still loving, doesn't want to let go or breakup. I don't know what to do anymore, I don't know how to breakup with him, and sometimes I feel that what if I breakup with him and no guy loves me the way he does? What if I end up being old and single? I know most of u would say I should focus on my life, but I have a fear of being single and lonely. So, my story might be scattered but I hope you understand it. Please no insults, I just want advice. Am I overreacting?

hmmmm

firstly u r lucky to have finished ur masters at 22,of all ur problems I think the issue here is his inability to be serious with his business and life.... he's 34 for Christ sake,wat 34 yr old man Wld not wanna take life serious...... wat kind of 34yr old man Wld want his gf to make decisions, he's just a child and yes he sees u as an escape from poverty


by the way u r just 22....if he does not wanna be responsible, then let him be, u r not too young to get married,but u r also far from old

1. your guy is a yahoo boy
2. He suppose to be ur dad (34-22=12).
3. May be you ar ugly
4. He is a 34 yr old fool and probably going to be fool at 40.
5. You are showing off ur achievement.
6. I commend ur achievement.
7. Tell him u ar quitting and see his reaction.
8. Also seek advice from elders
9. If after all these he didnt change dump his sorry ass.
10. Go for ur PhD

Well the truth is u maybe right in the sense that u cud be his get out of jail free card..but before u jump into any conclusion..u shud seat him down and av a strong conversation wiv him..communication is key in relationships..don't also forget that it might just be his personality..I really do think somewhere along the line he really has feelings for u.. He is 34 and not getting any younger and he wanted u to meet his mum, which might show he is not scared of commitment.
one more thing my dear, the thought of u being lonely should be discarded as quickly as possible. Ur still very young, 22 wiv a bright future, thru wiv school and masters and also business oriented..who wudnt want all that..I mean ur a type a lot of guys pray to God for..
In conclusion..just have a heart to heart talk wiv him..how long have u guys dated and yet no quarel?? That sounds really scary tho.. Just talk to him bout all these and get his opinion am sure u will be fine..

Trust me, he is investing in you hoping that his investment pays soon...in other words you are his naija maga. That is what yahoo guys do. Try as much as possible to block every possible contact with him.

You are not too young to be a married woman... as long as you are financially independent, then you are good to go..



The age gap btw u both is kinda long. 12yrs is a lot of gap, pls marry someone younger,




Third, break up with d dude and contact me.. if u ready for smth serious.. nobody should quote me

bidemib:
I'm a 22yrs old girl, done with school, done with Nysc, done with masters, working and I have a side business. I'm in a 6months relationship with a guy (duh), I would have called him the best guy ever, but he's surely the best boyfriend I've had. He's 34, he's Ibo, I'm Yoruba. He has a small business, He treats me well, buys me things, doesn't mind the fact that I'm plus-sized, is a Christian, always going to church and all. He's practically what every girl would want. He wants to marry me, I've met his sister, who loves me, he wants me to meet his mum, but I said I'm not ready, I'm 22, am I ready for marriage? My elder siblings got married really late, that they had started fasting and praying for husband, I really dont want that to happen to me, besides, I'm done with school and working, what else is left for me to do.... The thing is..... sometime ago, I found out he has a white lover. Well, she's in her 60s and I'm sure we know what that means, #scam! Found out when I checked his phone, they had exchanged nude pics and love messages. He denied at first but ended up confessing after weeks..... I come from a wealthy family and I can't help but to think that this is just another scam. I started thinking- this guy doesn't really make any effort with his business. It's a small business and I don't see it moving forward or bringing in any large amount of money(not a curse, he's just not serious), I even advice him on steps to take, business ideas, he just never seems interested. But he spends, spends on me too, and I've asked so many times how he's getting the money, says he has some money saved up. I am beginning to see him as a lay about. Don't get me wrong, I don't have a problem with dating someone who isn't really financially buoyant but, he's not doing anything about it. Monday morning, 10am, he's still on his bed while I'm at work. I'm like WTF Through out the course of our relationship, we have never fought. Now, I feel I'm his ticket out of being broke (no offense but it just seems that way...but, I may be wrong). Recently, I have tried so hard to bring up arguments or fights, but we never do. This just increases the level of suspicion......... another thing is for about 2 months, he hasn't been able to rise up to the occasion during sex, and he doesn't want to talk about it, even tho I see him drinking some native stuff, but it doesn't seem to be working. It's just frustrating. Another thing is that, he always wants me to make the decisions, like I should be the guy in the relationship... I really don't want that, I'm like decide what you want yourself. Recently, I can't just stand him, I don't wanna talk to him, don't wanna chat, I don't even wanna see him. I've been a very neglecting and annoying girlfriend,hoping he would breakup, but no, he's still loving, doesn't want to let go or breakup. I don't know what to do anymore, I don't know how to breakup with him, and sometimes I feel that what if I breakup with him and no guy loves me the way he does? What if I end up being old and single? I know most of u would say I should focus on my life, but I have a fear of being single and lonely. So, my story might be scattered but I hope you understand it. Please no insults, I just want advice. Am I overreacting?

no relationship is perfect always have that at the back of your mind meanwhile, try to seat him down and talk to him cus he seems to be relaxed about the whole stuff. i doubt it if he has an idea of what you think of the whole relationship..finally learn to love yourself the way you are and don't let anyone kill your self esteem cus with good attitudes and personalty, you will stand out from the crowd.

All I can tell ya is;

only one person with all those problems??