Hate it or love it, it is something that is not fading out anytime soon as more Nigerians embrace the idea. You may just happen to be one of them, a single lady or guy who has just met someone who looks very different from what you are accustomed to. You enjoy being in this person’s company, maybe he/she makes you laugh and feel good about yourself, and the last thing on your mind is breaking up.

Still, you can’t help but wonder if you have made the right decision. This is completely understandable, it’s a new experience after all. I have a friend who soooooo desired to marry whites. I tried discouraging him,but over time I also imagined the fantasy of marrying a lady from Isreal, Ireland, Russia, France or one of those countries that always win Miss World and other beauty pageants … LWKMD


Here are some basics you need to know before getting married to oyibo >>> http://gossipha.com/interracial-relationship/

Lol....this is funny but true...

Nitwitfabian, you need to see this. Read it with concentration, watch how the writer drew a fine, thick line between the merits and detriments. In the end, you still have the free will to choose.

Pfft

AirSultan:
Nitwitfabian, you need to see this. Read it with concentration, watch how the writer drew a fine, thick line between the merits and detriments. In the end, you still have the free will to choose.

Op just itemised the sensibilities and thats okay. I still live a foreign guy... not necessarily white.

For those who dont wanna waste data. Heres d post...




Interracial relationship
Interracial dating, a term Americans fondly call the chocolate-vanilla swirl.

Hate it or love it, it is something that is not fading out anytime soon as more Nigerians embrace the idea. You may just happen to be one of them, a single lady or guy who has just met someone who looks very different from what you are accustomed to. You enjoy being in this person’s company, maybe he/she makes you laugh and feel good about yourself, and the last thing on your mind is breaking up.

Still, you can’t help but wonder if you have made the right decision. This is completely understandable, it’s a new experience after all. I have a friend who soooooo desired to marry whites. I tried discouraging him,but over time I also imagined the fantasy of marrying a lady from Isreal, Ireland, Russia, France or one of those countries that always win Miss World and other beauty pageants … LWKMD

Below are some of things you should keep in mind when it comes to interracial relationships:

1. It’s Not Just Black And White (Or Straight)

So much of the discourse surrounding interracial relationships seems to center on black and white couplings. These are the images we see most in the media — cis white men with black women, or cis black men with white women. But we should bear in mind that there are all kinds of couplings in the interracial dating world that aren’t acknowledged nearly as much, and that interracial can mean a black woman with an Asian man. Sometimes, interracial couples may not even “look” like interracial couples — some multiracial people can read as “racially ambiguous,” or be mistaken for a certain race or ethnicity that they don’t identify with. All these kinds of pairings come with a wholly different context and meaning, as do interracial couplings between people who aren’t heterosexual or cis. A broadened idea of what constitutes an interracial relationship also broadens the discussion.

2. It’s Not Just About Sex

Many questions some people in interracial relationships receive hinge on sex. Are black girls freakier than white girls? Are Asian girls more submissive? Who has the bigger penis, black men or Latino men? These kinds of questions only perpetuate racial stereotypes (regardless of whether they’re “positive” or not) and turn the idea of interracial dating into a kind of experiment or phase. While sex can be an important component of many people’s relationships, it shouldn’t be viewed as the primary motivation for any committed relationship, interracial or otherwise.

3. There’s A Fine Line Between Admiration And Fetishization

It’s universally wrong to fetishize a romantic partner to the exclusion of respecting them. As such, fetishization and sexualization in interracial relationships is wrong. Seeking out a relationship with Asian women because they’re supposedly submissive or black women because they’re “freaks,” in bed is not cool. ‘Mandigo’ and ‘Spicy Latin Lover’ stereotypes about men of color are also harmful. Notice that all of these stereotypes are sexualized, turning people into objects and ideas. Admiring the differences in a partner who is of a different race is fine. Turning those differences into things to be compartmentalized and sexualized? Not so much.

4. Being In An Interracial Relationship Doesn’t Mean You’ve Solved Racism

Amongst some members of the “team swirl” community, there are those who think that the beauty of these interracial couplings signifies a better world. Well, while dating outside of your race might demonstrate that you are open-minded, at the end of the day, interracial relationships won’t necessarily “solve” racism. The growth of interracial relationships in the last 20 years certainly demonstrates that we’ve progressed towards accepting these kinds of relationships and racial equality overall, but we have a long way to go. In a perfect world, race would not be an issue, but it is, and it’s ok for interracial partners to acknowledge that. In fact, it’s encouraged.

5. No, People Of Color Who Date White People Don’t Hate Themselves

The idea that a person of color who dates a white person is harboring some kind of self-hatred is a far too simplistic one. Of course, there are instances where issues of self-acceptance may be at play, but this is not a hard and fast rule. No, black men and women who date or marry white partners (especially after being with black people in the past) are not necessarily doing so for status or validation. There are a lot of reasons why people are attracted to other people. If a black person dates someone outside of their race, their “blackness” — and how they feel about it — should not automatically be called into question.

6. Calm Down — It’s Not That Big A Deal

At the end of the day, interracial dating doesn’t always have to be a big deal. Which is to say, questions like “What will your parents think?” or “What about raising your kids in two different cultures?” might be a factor for some couples, but not all. Projecting expectations about what individual couples experience rather than allowing them to show and tell does nothing to move the conversation forward. An interracial relationship is, first and foremost, a relationship, not some big political statement. These couples are revolutionary by simply just being. Let interracial couples decide what being in an interracial relationship means to them.

7. There’s Always Something New To Learn

The beauty in interracial relationships, and all relationships in general, is the opportunity to learn and grow from someone who might come from a different background and a different perspective for you. The colorblind approach of not seeing a partner’s race and understanding how that affects the way they navigate in a relationship isn’t the right way to go about it. Instead, being willing to speak frankly about race is key — it’s an opportunity for couples to become even more honest, more open, and most of all more aware.


The Good

1. Dating someone from a different race gives you an all-access pass to learning a new culture firsthand. From food to music and languages, you get to experience a lifestyle that’s different from the norm, breaking stereotypes you may have had in the process.

2. If you two get married, your kids will have quite the interesting gene pool, with features from different nationalities. E.g. an African complexion with grey eyes in the case of a Nigerian and American couple.

The Bad

3. Cultural differences can also backfire in a relationship if compromise and understanding cannot be reached. Religion, for example, can be conflicting factor especially in a society like Nigeria where spirituality and morality are considered important. If you do choose to take the brave step, be prepared for potential clashes with this in mind. You and your partner should also decide in advance how to handle such issues when they do occur.

The Ugly

4. Not all parents are open to the idea of interracial dating. In fact, some refuse to allow their children date outside their tribes, so the race factor is not even up for discussion. From being judged to disowned, anything can happen, depending on personalities. You must be prepared for the worst if you are truly serious about your relationship.

5. Some people are just rude, period. They will stare, comment and even vocalize their disapproval of your relationship to your face. Don’t let the relationships get you down though. Proudly flaunt your relationship with your head held high and live your life to the audience of one – yourself.

What are your thoughts on interracial relationships? Have you been in one yourself? Share your thoughts/experience below.

nitwitfabian:

Op just itemised the sensibilities and thats okay. I still live a foreign guy... not necessarily white.

Chai, you are impossible. What have guys in the abroad done to you? Good a.m

AirSultan:
Chai, you are impossible. What have guys in the abroad done to you? Good a.m

Lol! Good morning. I cant b impossible i already exist. I think you mean improbable.

nitwitfabian:


Lol! Good morning. I cant b impossible i already exist. I think you mean improbable.

I stand corrected. . Hope you sleptwell. It seems we just lost you to the dark side

AirSultan:
I stand corrected. . Hope you sleptwell. It seems we just lost you to the dark side

Looool!

nitwitfabian:

Looool!

I wish you luck. But know the bright side always wins


Do have a blessed and fun-filled day.