On the 23rd of May, 2016, The fowl's nyanch was literally opened. In Africa, one of the body parts we have been greatly blessed by God with is the "nyash". Both men and women have this scarce world resource in Nigeria. Fortunately for me, I happened to be one of the beneficiaries of the supreme gift. Lots of girls have teased me to share out of my abundance and I pray to God everyday that Gay men won't find me. Over the years, I have proudly handled my soft dual happy dimples bum with care.
I just started work last week and I've made it a duty to come smartly dressed to the workplace. Thanks to the private school I attended that induced the culture of starched designer shirts with smart fitted trousers and corporate Italian shoe. Of course, I didn't fail to disappoint this time with my red stripped T.M lewin shirt rhyming with the navy blue trousers and a red 50,000 naira Italian shoe.
With enthusiasm I left the house and prayed for my bum yet again. Surely, I knew my prayers worked when the girl I sat with in the keke napep on the way to the last route to my workplace opened her arms freely and placed it on her head while I quietly settled my elbow on her bossoms freelancing the ballpoint.
Things really worked for me as my employer certified the php project I've been trying to complete during the weekends. He is an onyinbo man that doesn't joke with deadlines. This kind of favour is rare, I smiled as I entered the bus back to my house.
We alighted at Berger bus stop and those familiar with the terrain knows that the crossing of that bridge is a do or die affair. The Buses, tankers and cars gave us no chance and with our necks stretched wide watching both sides of the roads, we were truly Zebras crossing. I ran through couple cars and made it across the road.
Like a Boko haram member running away from the Nigerian army, I jumped across and behold, the chicken crossed the road and the fowl's yanch got opened! My trouser has torn into pieces. Like a mad man with his bum exposed, I crossed the second bridge.
My lovely bum became a terror to the community. My laptop bag saved my ass literally as I covered part of it looking for the nearest place to find a bike. I normally would enter a bike with a girl and sit at the back and let the gallop lead me through the entrance of her forbidden fruit. Today, I took the position of a celibate running as far as I could when I see a non-muscular being.
Today marks the end of fitted trousers. It marks the end of dressing like a foul. The foul's nyanch has opened at last!
I tried to sleep when I got home, but nightmares of nairaland posting my bum on front page would not let me rest. Behold! My yanch was opened today. DONT BE A FOWL!!!!

Dis days,
na Mungo Park dem full dis Nairaland oh.

If i continue dey read topics like dis,

The small sense were remain me for head go loss finish oh.

What is this one saying? OP receive sense

lol...funny write up!

Hehehehehe

Rotfl! I don laff tire!! Op thanks for making my night with your story

prettythicksme:
Hehehehehe

God is love

FowlYansh:

What?

prettythicksme:
What?

Why are You are talking about me

FowlYansh:


Why are You are talking about me

What is my own,face the op naw.

Yuneehk:
Rotfl! I don laff tire!! Op thanks for making my night with your story

It's my pleasure. Inspired by true life events.

How much did you say you bought your red Italian shoe









Lai moha

*Falls from Afang tree......

who ur mata epp who ur mata epp

Hahhhaha

Quite funny


Finally it didn't make front page

Lol

Oh lawd.......and you created this young man......ehn?!?

imustsaymymindo:

Today marks the end of fitted trousers. It marks the end of dressing like a foul. The foul's nyanch has opened at last!
I tried to sleep when I got home, but nightmares of nairaland posting my bum on front page would not let me rest. Behold! My yanch was opened today. DONT BE A FOWL!!!!

smh instead of u to open a thread thanking God for yo project being endorsed by your boss
U are here ranting about FoWL yansh