z-murda:

I always ask this questions why do we have to marry?
Is it because as Nigerians we are always under undue pressures from one's parents, friends, family, church etc etc?
Every1 starts trying to match make when you start getting past the magic age of 25

Dang!

Abi its even crazy nowadays and so common to all these our babes.They dont put God first in all they do.They dont have that time to wait on the Lord.They consider it an abomination to marry after that magic age of 25yrs.So crazy

Hey I think u guys should wake up from slumber, there is nothing like getting married to the wrong person, if so be it then make it work.What I think is that u guys are not ready to give up something for the other.Marriage is a convenant where you seek the other person's good not yours and whatever you do for you partner is for your own good not your partner's. Take a deep look into it. Sacrifice a lot and get a lot back in return.

save that u did not tell us all there is to everything, ur case isnt i pray, as terrible as ur "few" lines have made them sound. GEW's[color=#006600][/color] advise is the most candid advise on ur post yet take it if u can, we didnt get a load down on ur wife's personality or character on y u think she isnt good enough, i had a schoolmate in University then whose parents n a [his wife now] girl's parents had both business n family tied relationships n "FORCED" them to get married "to keep their family relationship together" for upmost of 5yrs after the marriage my friend only slept with his wife obligatorily to "produce" babes, he openly kept relationships, didnt everything to send d wife insane, but she kept her coooool, God sometimes sends us things in disguise if only we can look with some wisdom, however, all of us his pals then pitied him for his predicament u know the man stuffs, he had a babe he tot n wished to be married to but was not allowed. the long n short of the story is that today my firend n his wife thankfully have both come around n "we" r sometimes jealous of them both, my friend now openly tells that his most priced happiness is that his wife didnt do what he wished for then ------leave him.

so bros except there r really, very patent reasons y she aint worth it, i stand to be corrected no man/woman is best, cos love is a very vague word often used unwise, what this world really needs i mean in relationships is "TOLERANCE" if u can tolerate a person u'll undoubtedly end up loving d same person
check urself before u reck ursef. divorce isnt the answer n never will be. am a lawyer n know in most cases than not it never was d vest choice/solution.

u said ur wife loves, for u know or feel this its obvious u r half over ur problem, the rest is "UUUUUUUUUUU"

scopoo:

Hey I think u guys should wake up from slumber, there is nothing like getting married to the wrong person, if so be it then make it work.What I think is that u guys are not ready to give up something for the other.Marriage is a convenant where you seek the other person's good not yours and whatever you do for you partner is for your own good not your partner's. Take a deep look into it. Sacrifice a lot and get a lot back in return.

character is independent of watever u sacrifice.Havent u seen some1 that gave everything and in the end she still went ahead to cheat.So wat r we saying? The truth is we r always comfortable with the external beauty of a woman rather than the inner beauty.

yurs is childs play compared to mine,,,,,we dated 4 9yrs and i bowed to pressure frm my parents 2 marry her cos i was getting close to 30yrs, immediately afta da wedding bubble burst ed , she insulted ma mom who has been her advocate 4 all dis yrs and told my dad 2 go 2 blazes, my siblings wer locked out on my occasions frm my house,if am out of da country.she was a devils incarnate, she hits me wiv all sorts of weapons,,,,,pestle,high heel shoes ,sticks and bite my ear 1day, bt since i wasnt brought up in a violent way i let it pass, bt afta 4mths of dis crazy behaviour , i had 2 kick her out, wat surprised me most was dat her parents took her back wit all pleasure and insulted d living day out of me wen i was invited 2 der hse, well bye gone is bye gone
my lyf has been so miserable since then, hbp everynow and then, i hate women wiv a passion, only God can judge me,

4got to say she is 7mths pregnant 4mi, am very sure she wanna give da kid a vry wrong start and bad future, am so sick

dewoy:

yurs is childs play compared to mine,,,,,we dated 4 9yrs and i bowed to pressure frm my parents 2 marry her cos i was getting close to 30yrs, immediately afta da wedding bubble burst ed , she insulted ma mom who has been her advocate 4 all dis yrs and told my dad 2 go 2 blazes, my siblings wer locked out on my occasions frm my house,if am out of da country.she was a devils incarnate, she hits me wiv all sorts of weapons,,,,,pestle,high heel shoes ,sticks and bite my ear 1day, bt since i wasnt brought up in a violent way i let it pass, bt afta 4mths of dis crazy behaviour , i had 2 kick her out, wat surprised me most was dat her parents took her back wit all pleasure and insulted d living day out of me wen i was invited 2 der hse, well bye gone is bye gone
my lyf has been so miserable since then, hbp everynow and then, i hate women wiv a passion, only God can judge me,

4got to say she is 7mths pregnant 4mi, am very sure she wanna give da kid a vry wrong start and bad future, am so sick

wow thats very sad

U just need to move closer to God,if u are achristian move close to ur pastor,confide in him sure he will guide u on how how to make a succuss of the marriage.and if u not a christian u can sure go for councelling.

why crying over spilt milk?

What you have to do is to endure and ask God to give you the grace to love her. You are stock already and there is on going back now.

you are not been honest. i believe in the process of going out with friends, you have seen or possibly slept with single ladies that are making you to despise your wife. for your own good, let the woman be and start giving her more of your attention, love and care.

perhaps

ah, I cant stop myself from laughing. He dated her for 5years knowing dat she was not in his lifetime plan. Then he was busy frolicking with the one he had plans for a lifetime. Maybe he's never heard of the word 'CHOICE'. Gud1, please quit talking about how u dont connect with ur wife. You had a choice (even if papa and mama and brother and sister and uncle and aunty and grandma pushed u) to either marry her or not, stop blaming others for the choice u made. You are a grown man (except u are a sissy), please accept the consequencies of your action. LOVE AND RESPECT YOUR WIFE. abi dem tie rope for ur neck drag u go alter?

e easy

@poster

Tell me why u think God will forgive people like u??, who end up waisting a woman's time knowing fully well you have no good intension.

Now 4 good years and not 4 days, you stuck with her doing what? playing with her emotions huh? , why do we still have people like you in our midst??

U are in for it,live with it and don't u ever think of quitting, cus u ain't getting it dude.

mehn!!! ure in deep shit!!!wa t were u thinkingforget pressures from family and friends, u put urself in dese fucking mess and im afraid but ure stuck in dis. how could u date her for five years and u know u dont want to marry her5years!!!!! and u knew ure not gonna marry her u8 should know better dan to allow presures cos its not how long but how well, i always tell people, a broken heart in a broken relationship is far beta dan  a broken marriage, im afraid its too late to pull out, just try and tolerate all her shit, dats wat it actually takes for a marriage to work, TOLERANCE!!!!! overlook mistakes. takea

Good u are a good admonisher, dont mind those that are saying rubbish out of their mouth. After all he dated her 4 five years, why did he not discovered her Mischivious arts all dis while. So keep on enjoying ur relationship ok.

@poster!! are you a man or a boy that parents now dictate a pace for you? what a shame well, not to cry, call all those who insist or you rather please to displease your self to come and settle and make you happy. if you are wanting us to do it, you will still not be happy man or boy

Have a wonderful and happy marriage

Guy there is a place marriage gets you to,can't wait to get there.Keep moving U will surely get there and need I remind you it is a wonderful place where we will sing psalms to the LORD.

[[center]color=#770077][/color]how come u dating some one for 5years without knowing who she is.were u bilnd by her or what? [/center][center][/center]

Its a pity my friend but the best thing is to learn her temperaments, take ur time and study her, then ignore her most times when she goes wrong if need be, dont forget to always pray and i bet u she will learn how to behave and be the wife u want her to be. NO CONDITION IS PERMANENT. nobody is without an issue. Think about it!!!

Divorce!
Life is 2 short 2 spend it living a mistake.

[font=Lucida Sans Unicode][/font][color=#550000][/color] MR POSTER,PLS BE SINCERE WT UR SELF,U LUVED HER DAT IS Y U DATED HER 4 COMPLETE 5 YRS ABI,TO ME UR NOT A MAN YET,BECOS U CANT MAKE AN INDEPENDENT DECISION URSELF.JUST TRY AL UR POSSIBLE BEST 2 LUV HER AGAIN IF U AR TIRED OF THE FIRST LUV U AV 4 HER B4,LUV HER AND SHE WIL MAKE U HAPPY AGAIN I BET U.BE A MAN DONT LET FAMILY AND FRIENDS DECIDE 4 U AGAIN SO U WONT FALL A VICTIM OF MISTAKES AGAIN AND AGAIN.

Disgusting, its ur fault

the truth is that, happiness in a marriage is a choice.
it is unfortunate that you married her due to pressure, but it is what you need in whatever marriage you intended to go into that you need here.

thank God you are the man and can decide how you want your home to be.
prayerfully discuss your challenges with your wife and look up to God for help to overcome every challenge in your home.
Choose to love her and spend alot of time together, you ll be surprised to realise how much you truly love her

Best of luck

emmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Poster.

You're not man enough.

Riff-Raff:

Divorce!
Life is 2 short 2 spend it living a mistake.

wot if u were the 1 in this position is this wot you would ve done? answer

Hey, it is funny how we whine about things which we are clearly responsible for. You didn't have the balls to stand up to ur parent and whoever. What makes u think you would have been happy with ur imaginary wife you didn't marry. From the way i c it, u r the kind of person who hurt himself in order to make others happy. U need to love urself first from now on.  I mean positively.

I have discovered in life that they are solution to every human problem no matter how confounding. Albeit, choices are not alway easy to make. Being positive and keep on keeping on makes a lot of difference. The problems with us human is: the grass is always greener on other side.

You have two choices: divorce her and move on. Besides being 'unchristianed' action i.e  if you are one, statistics has shown that divorce doesn't make people happy. Or you can make your life paradise on earth simply by changing your self. That is the starting point. If this woman loves you in anyway, believe you me, you can learn to love her warts and all. Concentrate on her strong points and ignore her weaknesses. No one is perfect. In all of us, we have some sunshine no matter how dark ur perception. Need I remind u, beauty is just skin deep. Dig deep for the inside beauty.

One final thing is: does she respect and submit to u? Affirmative, I guess! Then she is ur wife, embrace her and make the most it. Blank out everyone, inlaws and all, create your little world full of happiness. You have to work for it. As the man of the house understand that every fault will always be your reponsibility. That is why you r the MAN. Praying as u do this will help.

It is ur choices. Make up ur mind. This is your Life, not a dress rehearsal.

You were with her for 5 years. yes we all have our weaknesses (bad traits) but i believe there must have been something good about her (strenghts) for yu to date her for so long.

so my advice to yu is to focus more on those strenghts and as much as possible play down the weaknesses. discuss them though.

i dont believe she irritates yu as much as yu are passing across.

You are the man so decide the way yu want your home to be.

Riff-Raff:

Divorce!
Life is 2 short 2 spend it living a mistake.

that is the option the devil will give you!

divorce is not and will never be the answer to marital problems. your marriage will work if you will work it, forget the 'mistake' excuse. it will only help you to be more frustrated. see it as a challenge and life will be a bed of roses to you.

You're not man enough.

He is still tied to his mother and people's string. What a pity. Guy wake up.
But I dont know sha, you are already in, just patch up, learn to use your left at old age.

We need to know if you got kids with her?

Yes, my bros marriage is jump-in and stay there, that is your cross carry it with joy, courage and hope that one day thing will turn around for good and begin to feel as if you are enjoying it I bet you B4 you know it you will begin enjoy it. I pray for grace to enjoy it, in Jesus name.