hello fellow nairalanders
a very goodmorning to you all and hope you all had a goodnight rest
let me go straight to the point.
i am am a guy of 27 years and currently dating a lady of 31 years and we have been dating for 2 years now and i can say things has been ok in the beginning of the relationship (that is the first 1 year) .
it all started well and she always asked me how the relationship is going and i always told her also that i am ready to spend the rest of my life with her but deep within me,i was not 100% convinced she was the right woman for me because the relationship was still very young and i was ready to give it a chance to see how it will work out.
when we met ,i was very ok though i had some unfulfilled dreams that i was to fulfill before settling down and i always told her so ,i had my own car,but i always dreamed of owning my own firm(i was still employed at that time)so during that time things became so rough for me and i couldn't do some things i wanted to do.though she didnt go away from me during this trying times,i noticed her attitude changed and i began to question her actions during this period,my house she used to spend every weekend suddenly became boring ,she stayed several weeks without coming to me.i was quiet.until a friend of mine told me of her escapades .how he has seen her in questionable situations with men but i still trusted her .

i came on nairaland and learnt about whatsapp webb ,did it on her phone and confirmed everything .i was so dissapointed in her and the worst is that she never asked for forgiveness,she kept on denying anything was wrong,so i was like "what the hell are you denying ,even when its obvious" because i saw her telling another man that she loves him and he should come take a kiss,she said they were only joking.

so i met grace,a new woman in my life ,i don't know how she learnt about grace ,then she started crying and pleading for me to leave her,even going to the extent of threatening to beat up grace,(i didn't tell you that she is so violent).
grace said she cant take it anymore,she left me after alot of pleading to her too .
then my girl promised to work things out that she cant live without me,so i finally decided to forgive her but i guess i didnt forget .

i have always told her about my dreams of owning my own firm ,i dont want to get married working for someone.but lately she always said i say my dreams with my mouth and i dont accomplish it.
but fortunately for me ,i proved her wrong,she came to my house and found out that my furniture has been replaced and i told her also i am buying a second car for 1.8million naira ,and getting a registration for my company and at the same time i am resigning from where i work.
as i talk to you now ,i have my own business and employing about 7 people for now.

so my problem with her now is that i can't trust her anymore though i still want her in my life,i have always tried my best to but all to no avail .when she tells me she is at home,i believe she is somewhere else because of all the lies she told me.
i told her many times that i don't trust her anymore but she didnt care,she said she will try her best to make it work out between us.

i have always know she got two kids and i didn't mind at all ,i took them as mine until recently i went through her diary and found out that she has a third child as well that she is hiding from me and i didn't ask her till date.
i was planning to break up with her but recently i didn't know she had a surprise for me.
it was my birthday and she sponsored a lavish birthday celebration for me without my consent
i was taken unaware by the plans of the birthday,i later found out that she made the arrangements with my friends and she told them not to tell me that she is taking me by surprise.
i was surprises but somehow not alot.
so i am in a dilemma now,she looks so obedient and calm now(although i don't know what goes on in her mind)
i feel like i will be a devil and ungrateful if i tell her i am breaking up with her after everything and the birthday and all my friends love her,and they even tell me i should marry her sharply .but they don't know what i go through emotionally ,only one of my friends know everything.

it appears that she is going to be so broken if i leave her but then,how do i live with her forever when there is no trust?or is it possible to build trust again?
what about the three kids?if she could lie about that ?(though i know about two)then what should i believe again?
the last time i wanted to get her a phone,an iphone was on my mind but as i was making payment at the counter,i changed my mind and went for something cheaper,i felt like i was been used by buying such expensive phone for someone that is not loyal to me. i couldn't help it.
i want to love her again
i want to be with her but it seems its not possible though i want it to be possible
how do i handle this situation? i am in a state of dilemma
advice me good people

Do you know what RUN means 'its an action word for to tear race'... Dude, 3 children and still dey give out? With all the fine, beautiful, honest girls around? If she don wash and put for you, go vomit am. My G, be man enough and put a stop to it the sooner the better, the girl is not worth you.

Dis is 4 elders

Hmmm....

please say something sir,you advice will be appreciated
thankyou

please say something after viewing topic,its really needed,please good people

hello good people

I wantd 2 jump nd pass bt i tot abt d situation of my friend micheal. Broken relationship is beta than broken marriage. I dnt deal with pipu i cnt trust. Both male nd female. Dnt build a life u wil live 2 regret 2moro wen u have choice. I.M.O.

Too much goals,values and trust conflict already...Most times it's surprising how we swiftly drift away from pple that we cant spend one moment without and as much as we tried to restore the previous felt emotions it jst doesn't work...Brov the truth is you deserve someone better cos trust is very vital in any kind of relationship that would stand the test of time...Now the best way to leave her would not be to break up with her directly cos her reaction from what you said cannot be predicted(avoid a case whr u would be bated with acid)..instead you slowly break up the communication without necessarily having another woman nd make sure she doesn't suspect a thing

With what you have written I don't understand why you want to marry her.

The power of big curvy ass.

Op reason well oh. D lady already has 3 kids and don't u know dey are automatically ur priority if u later marry her? Des children wil be 1st in her life b4 u. She is just lokn 4 sm1 to cater 4 her children. Despite her escapade, u ar stil in lov with her. Hop she hasn't used jazz for u. A cheat wil always be a cheat whether married or nt. Why is she not with d father of dose children? Dre are beta ladies out der, whom u can choose frm. D lady loves cus of d benefits she is gaining. Cus of surprised birthday, u want to jeopardize ur joy and happiness of marriage? Ur people wil neva allow u to marry after 3 lady. Be wise op, u are too young to av high blood pressure cus of a woman who neva worth it.

You should leave her.

I say this because you are going back and forth in your head over if you can be happy with her, and so you'll never have peace if you stay. Don't set yourself up for a life of unhappiness if you can plainly see it in front of you.

SHE HID AN ENTIRE CHILD FROM YOU!

Oh - and the birthday party - she knows she's in hot water with you, and while I'm sure she cares about you, she also knows how it will look if you break up with her after doing such a big effort for your party. Don't let her manipulate you - think in a quiet place what *you* want, and then go do it.

thanks dear

Belaqua:
You should leave her.

I say this because you are going back and forth in your head over if you can be happy with her, and so you'll never have peace if you stay. Don't set yourself up for a life of unhappiness if you can plainly see it in front of you.

SHE HID AN ENTIRE CHILD FROM YOU!

Oh - and the birthday party - she knows she's in hot water with you, and while I'm sure she cares about you, she also knows how it will look if you break up with her after doing such a big effort for your party. Don't let her manipulate you - think in a quiet place what *you* want, and then go do it.

A friend i met during my service year by name GODSWILL 'God bless you my bro' wld always say to me 'guy,na only pesin wey wear the shoe go know wer dey pain am'.my bro dis is marriage for christ sake. If u dnt trust her nw shey na wen u marry am cum travel for meeting ur bp go cum b 180/150.bro for her to hide certain issh frm u self make her tricky.dnt let love fool u ooo.c'mon dis babe senior u,e no do u,get t
three children ,e no do u,cheat on u e no do u,wat sign r u waitin for bfor u leave her.or mayb she don use jazz. Leave her with d speed of light nw

OP WHAT I WILL TELL YOU IS THIS. THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA.

YOUR GIRL SHOWED YOU HER TRUE SELF WHEN THINGS BECAME DIFFICULT FOR YOU N STICKED AROUND CUS SHE KNOWS YOU STILL HAVE THE POTENTIAL TO MAKE IT AND IS HARD TO FIND GOOD MEN AROUND, WHICH IS WHAT MOST LADIES THIS DAYS DO BY HAVING GOOD LOVING BF AND STILL FLIRT AROUND WITH THE RICH MEN OUT THERE TO SATISFY THEIR MATERIAL NEEDS.. ALL I WILL SAY TO YOU IS THAT YOU DESERVE BETTER..YOU CAN TAKE IT OR LEAVE BUT DON'T I REPEAT DON'T MARRY ANY LADY OUT OF PITY CUS YOU WILL REGRET IT

Run!!!Run!!!Run!!! For your dear life!!! You are too young to shoulder such responsibilities my dear.Your story shows that she is not faithful and she will never be faithful. Haaaaaaaaaa!!! After scoring 3 goals!!!This is very alarming and please, don't try it at all because she will ruin your life.Again,she is very troublesome and the type of wife man marries determines how long he will live on earth.She could have gotten those children from 3 different men.You also heard her say she loves a particular man in your presence,haba!!! E don finish now!!! She only wants to use you to acheive her dreams and I am sure you will be the one to train her 3 kids plus the ones yet unborn.Na whaaaaaoooo!!!! I just tire for you.In summary,Please sit down and think before you leap.Goodluck!!!

3pikins nd u still need advice??dispose of her blade haste..

The handwriting is on the wall. There are trust issues and I bet u can't have rest of mind if she eventually becomes your wife cos u don't trust trust her. With all what you have narrated, in my opinion, pls run for your life if u really wanna be a happy man now and years to come.

thankyou all .still awaiting more response

thanks

still awaiting more response people