Haba,your wife spends 75k monthly for her own upkeep? What is she upkeeping? Buying clothes ,phones,jewelries up and down i guess.without contributing any quota to the family and she still expects you to give her more. Oluwa,alanu oooo
It's not even the issue of she saving half of her salary that matters if she were using the other half to also support the home in her own way and not just for her own selfish upkeep. Do you know that in some homes, both the husband and wife's income are not up to that 75 k that ur wife uses for her own "upkeep" and they survive?
You seem like a cool headed person and it's just normal that u wish to give her monthly stipends, but since you say u provide for food and she provides basically nothing for the house, even the 20 k she will use it to buy make up and not for any tangible thing,abeg reduce it to 5k abeg or nothing at all.
Haba,some women can be more than selfish.

I am sorry to say ' She is not your wife '.

Don't take this action of hers for granted.

Are u here to cause bp for people, how can u say ur wife uses 75k for herself and u still want to add 20k ..pls ask her what she is doing with d money

No love again bro only few women are not selfish.U r on ur own.I hate women of dis type.

No love again bro only few women are not selfish.U r on ur own.I hate women of dis type.What will happen if u lose ur job?Will she care?

fairygeh:
Haba,your wife spends 75k monthly for her own upkeep? What is she upkeeping? Buying clothes ,phones,jewelries up and down i guess.without contributing any quota to the family and she still expects you to give her more. Oluwa,alanu oooo
It's not even the issue of she saving half of her salary that matters if she were using the other half to also support the home in her own way and not just for her own selfish upkeep. Do you know that in some homes, both the husband and wife's income are not up to that 75 k that ur wife uses for her own "upkeep" and they survive?
You seem like a cool headed person and it's just normal that u wish to give her monthly stipends, but since you say u provide for food and she provides basically nothing for the house, even the 20 k she will use it to buy make up and not for any tangible thing,abeg reduce it to 5k abeg or nothing at all.
Haba,some women can be more than selfish.

Pardon my ignorance but I think what a woman makes and what she does with it is her business. However, with great and understanding women, you will see them usually put some of that money to use in the house. I believe a man is totally responsible for household expenses but it gladdens the heart to see a woman trying to offer some form support. Again, I am very African in my thinking...

[quote author=banjolek post=46655977]Hello guys,

I need your honest opinion on this, how much is really ideal to give one's wife as monthly pocket money?.

Here's my story, i recently got married and also moved to a new 3 bedroom apartment around gbagada. .[/quote You recently got married and you are already seeking a third party opinion. My dear if you want to get to know your wife better, build a happy home and maintain your sanity this should be the last day you would post a family matter of this nature in any online forum. Because the opinions you would get here might not be healthy for a happy home. Some will even tell you to withdraw d 20k. My dear every family is unique in their way no two families are the same. Some will say she is greedy some that you are stingy. Maintain your sanity, do not post your family financial affair here.

uboy73:
Are u here to cause bp for people, how can u say ur wife uses 75k for herself and u still want to add 20k ..pls ask her what she is doing with d money

Guy women like des are future killers.They are evil.

Azinganga:
Endure this crazy demand of hers and pray to have children first.When children comes, she will start to see herself then as a stakeholder and must contribute financially even for your domestic needs.Women are supposed to be helpmeets and not extortionists.A helper should really help.

True Talk!

Winneygirl:
Honestly, I don't see anything outrageous here.
.
If you both had a long term plan.. eg build a house since kids are still young and are not gulping down half your income as school fees....the talk would not be about monthly allowance, it will be about proper financial planning to safeguard the future.
.
Besides, you didn't tell us how much you earn, how much you allocate for housekeeping, and how much you actually spend on yourself.
.
Until we see both sides of the coin, we can't conclude that she is making an unreasonable demand.

Even if he earns up to 400k, what does she need all that money for?

The op is his own biggest problem. He doesn't need the wife's approval to save in this era. If something goes wrong and he goes broke,she will torment his life.

A word is enough for the op.

[quote author=IRserveMyComent post=46738296][/quote]

What rubbish!!! It is good that he posted it here for people to advice him. So you want him to keep on wasting money?

ojuolu:

You made a whole lot of sense sir. I practise same thing. My wife know the total sum I earn and after I have given her upkeep and housekeep, I still take up minor and random expenses of hers. Bills are practically mine (she is not in a paid job for now). She buy me things and take care of some minor bills from the little she can save from what I am giving her. She, in her own little ways, is even contributing to our building project despite not working. Since I noticed this attributes in her, I pray daily I earn more to give more or God should grant her a wonderful job to earn her own income. Op should be open to her and should not play "the man" in the relationship when it come to disclosure around finance. If you do, women have tendencies to think you earn more than you do and you don't wanna spend it on them.

I'm a she

Just try to find a way to understand how to live with her because u are married, but she should learn to know that you are a King if it true u do all you said. I know a friend whose husband don't cetera for and she is not working and is still married to him.

so many beautiful comments already dt i felt they've said it all .Bro if she wasnt working culd av fought u physically,20k small but in these ,,no children n she is working..all she want to do is make sure u dnnt av enuf money to throw around to families,,friends n side chick if @all u hav..lolz.women wil neva dispute man is d head of d house but in there advice.,body language,,gesture they really wana b in charge.she is only contesting but start bin in charge because dt wats gona make u remain a man in ur home ...wen u r in charge she might say or act u dnnt luv me but trust me she luv u die inside ...share ur w.i.p plans wit her more,,dt wil make her feel more closer n carried along ...they wil alway try 2 break us(lolz) wen u knw culd fun ..lets luv them

Am giving her Notin, she can go he'll. She is supposed to be helping u, not sucking u dry, she's even working for that matter. Expect bigger problems wen the rent and school fees tins start coming, by the way don't expect her to change.

Evacroft:
Thought u mentioned that she us us remaining 75k for upkeep. How much do u earn? If so uses the remaining money on house Kip then up the montly allowance. If not 20k is kk for now.

Why are some of you so unreasonable? His salary has nothing to do with her spending more than necessary in this era. So if he earns 700k,she should spend 300k on frivolities?

Onegai:
It's okay.

Sit her down and tell her the money she's getting is a token of love, meant to be spent on frivolous things for herself. And that the amount will increase as things get better. Also get a joint account in which both of you will be paying savings into and make her a co-signatory. It will cure her of her fears about you.

OP please don't heed this advice o.
Joint account ko, single account ni

Laclasse:
sit down and talk with your wife. map out plans for the future. Look at how strangers are insulting your wife.calling her greedy . shameless thing.

Insulting the wife?

You have a big problem. I figured out that frivolities freak you too.

Project400:
Apply for a leave at work; go home and act like you've been sacked/dismissed.


Your experiences during this period would reveal the unknown.


Cheers.

She will simply show her true color and start to torment him.

PresVA:
Op, like how much do you earn? You keep insisting that she demands more because she knows your salary, which means your salary will actually be very reasonable. .. She must have seen how you spend on family/outside hence her demands; she knows your capability. ..

Really can't say anything till I hear from your wife because I won't be surprised if you give your family/outsiders like 100k monthly then proposing 20k to her...

Then, most importantly. .. You guys should look at valuable projects/investments to embark on...including your wife..

Just discuss with your wife, ONLY both of you can make the decision... all d best..

So what if he gives his parents and siblings more than 100k? Does she need to spend more than 75k + 20k on frivolities?

banjolek:



Thanks for this

I really dont think how much i give her should be a function of my monthly income or how much i give my family. The bottom line is you are comfortable at home with everything is provided and you earn well enough to survive in a month. of course we are looking to invest in to viable project(s) that will enable another stream of income which i already stated i am saving towards. And may i say i dont lavish money on my family, i understand the fact i need to manage my own immediate family .

Thank you for this reply. It was the same I gave her. Was she there when your parents paid your school fees and co.

Op,please sieve some advice from lots of junks. Some of the girls here are unreasonable. Na their way.

5minsmadness:

And is there something wrong with this?

Don't mind presVa...

.some of these unreasonable women think that we shouldn't take care of our parents because we got married to them.

banjolek:


Absolutely on point, apart from saving half of her salary,she doesn't even have to spend a lot of money on transportation as her office is very close to our house. Really baffling.

Is she from a broken home? She is behaving like a "milker", She should be thinking of how that house could be furnished not saving half if hers, gets feeding allowance n still collect maintenance allowance. you know what becoz she knows how much u collect she does not want u to share with your own family members. BE WISE

There is no such money as ideal. it depends on ur earnin and wat u wish to achieve in life. my hubby gives me 15k as feedin money not even up kip i ve 2 kids I earn 25k my hubby earns 120k but he has lands in different part of d country n building we just moved to abuja n he just acquired a land. I think u beta start thinkin to invest. n secure d future of ur kids. Sacrifice now n enjoy later. Its not easy but its worth it. Ve a budget every month n work strictly wrt it. Learn how to save. if u want to help family ve a budget u want to give each months n once u've reached dat budget any other need must wait till d next month. for ur wife u need to sit her down n talk some sense into her cos her bank work is not even secure she need to invest all she has. thanks.

I don't see true love here.

YOUR WIFE IS A VERY GREEDY WOMAN AND I DON'T THINK SHE MARRIED YOU BECAUSE OF LOVE.
I HAVE A FRIEND THAT WORKS IN THE SAME COMPANY WITH THE WIFE,THE WIFE'S MONTHLY SALARY IS USED TO RUN THE HOME WHILE THE MAN'S IS USED FOR INVESTMENT.

THIS COUPLE REALLY PLAN THEMSELVES VERY WELL,THEY HAVE ABOUT 5 DIFFERENT RENTAL APARTMENTS AND LOTS OF BUSINESSES THAT GENERATES INCOME.LIFE DOESN'T JUST REVOLVE AROUND YOUR WIFE.PLANNING FOR THE FUTURE WITH THE LITTLE YOU HAVE NOW IS THE MOST IMPORTANT ISSUE IN MARRIAGE BECAUSE MAY NOT BE AS ROSSY AS TODAY.

YOU BETTER SIT HER DOWN AND TALK SENSE INTO HER MIND SO AS TO RE MODIFY HER MINDSET.A HAPPY HOME IS ALL ABOUT CONTINOUS CASHFLOW IN THE HOME,WHEN IT STOPS FLOWING,YOU'LL KNOW WHAT WOMEN ARE MADE OF.

Bluffly:

Did you read the post well. He said, the 20k is for her pocket money and not for meals



For me, she is not behaving like an help meet at all. This guy is in trouble, if he looses his job

Some people can't read. No wonder they go on to answer exam questions without reading instructions.


My fear is that this guy will be in deep sh1t if the money stops coming.

I was hoping to read the replies of the so-called feminist movement on this thread, but it seems they have avoided this thread like a plague. We all know why.

banjolek:


Absolutely on point, apart from saving half of her salary,she doesn't even have to spend a lot of money on transportation as her office is very close to our house. Really baffling.

U are not just baffled about the fact that she has rejected the 20k/month, u are more baffled that she is being unreasonable, selfish, and greedy (sorry but d truth is bitter) that woman needs to be handled with wisdom. If i were u i wont even give her the 20k again. Rather we will now have to open a joint account and contribute into that account monthly.. My advice to u is that u shouldnt allow her dictate 2u but rather u have to take the bull by the horn..isnt it responsible enough that u are taking care of all the bills? Pls dont spoil her,or satisfy her selfish desires cos thats what she wants but rather do what is best for your family

, joint account U try

Onegai:
It's okay.

Sit her down and tell her the money she's getting is a token of love, meant to be spent on frivolous things for herself. And that the amount will increase as things get better. Also get a joint account in which both of you will be paying savings into and make her a co-signatory. It will cure her of her fears about you.

I'm nt yet married...wen I get to dat bridge I will cross it mehn.

When I saw 'monthly stipennd'.. I thought she is a house wife.

SMH

What a greedy woman. She doesn't help in anything finacially, and she still needs monthly stipend despite working and earning 150k monthly.

Is this how Nigerian women will achieve GENDER EQUALITY?

This is the type of woman that will build houses somewhere while living in a hubbby's rented apartment and the man will never know.

What do women gain from this mentallity sef? When you dies, all the money you saved and never help your hubby out with will still end up with somebody else. SMH