5minsmadness:


I was going to attack your initial post but in seeing this explanation I had a rethink. So is this ^^^^ what ladies mean when they say they want to have a joint account with you? That would be interesting. I thot it was more like both of you pay your whole salaries into the account.

5minsmadness:


Discretion. Not desecration.
Runs away**

Onegai:


. But Baby E was doing head stands (i don't understand why a 1 year old acts like she does)

Onegai:


A joint account depends on what you and your spouse decide. Either you pay whole or part of salaries and payments into it. It's a way of holding both parties accountable and not keeping secrets. I know a lady who insisted on a Joint account with her husband, because he was a spendthrift. He splits his salary into the Joint and his personal savings. He runs through his money quicker (he pays for house things from his from time to time) but they also have that backup savings in the Joint (for emergencies). She has never mentioned it to his face that he's a spendthrift (she did once, but the fight that followed nearly ended their marriage).

Banjolek's wife is not evil and she's not a spendthrift. She saves half of her salary and is planning a second business. That doesn't sound like a spendthrift. What she's suffering from is hearing or seeing a lot of bad stories about husbands and money (she may even had read them here from #TeamHousewivesAreSuffering ). So she's making some fundamental mistakes. People give newlyweds a lot of shockingly bad advice that makes them adversaries rather than partners.

The best way to solve this issue is to show her, don't tell her.

Thats why the Joint account will show her clearly how much of her husband's salary is going where and it will make it clear that he is all for providing for his and her family first and is not going to keep financial secrets from her. Rather than telling her continuously. He should also just casually mention how he had to do stuff like eat bole or some cheap snack at work because he had no money. He should stop starching his native to church or taking them to the drycleaners and go "mehn i can't afford it but you please go ahead and get your hair done". Feel free to follow her to church looking slightly shabby. Which sensible spouse (who is looking to get compliments like "oh your hubby is shining, well done o!" won't start noticing the correlation between his spending, his poverty and her demands?

If in 2 months' time, Banjolek doesn't see her subtly adjusting her mindset and offering to pay for things, then he can go loco. That is why most women end up being in charge of the Joint account and most are prudent with it.

Words don't sway people, actions do.

This is what I originally wanted to type at first, OP. But Baby E was doing head stands (i don't understand why a 1 year old acts like she does) so I had to attend to her and write a short summary. You decide what you wanna do.

Kimoni:
TV01 - I don't think joint account is for every family. In my opinion, families must be on the same page when it comes to financial goals and responsibilities before they can make a success of joint account. If not, one parties suffers and frustration sets in on the long run.
In OP's case, I do not think his family is ready for it, there is no harmony yet in that aspect of their life. From the look of things, he will be on the receiving side of things if they go for joint account. #mythots

fem29:
Thanks oga TV01 for the mention. Though we do not always agree, you are usually logical.

Please don't advise poster to ask his wife to bring money ooo . She is asking for a stipend and it will be unwise for him to say not only are you not getting one, you need to bring money towards family finances .

That will be the beginning of world war 5 in his house. Wisdom is profitable to direct.

Onegai:
Dyt and Banjolek, please stop making excuses for that child. Her day of reckoning is coming! Just let us have one more night of 2.30am to 4.43am nite of dancing from her. You will read what happens on NL frontpage

Onegai:
Dyt and Banjolek, please stop making excuses for that child. Her day of reckoning is coming! Just let us have one more night of 2.30am to 4.43am nite of dancing from her. You will read what happens on NL frontpage

fem29:


I'm sorry but I think you guys are being silly. Are you in the process of building a house?.Do you have land?. Do you want to be a tenant forever?. In this harsh economy you are just talking about spend spend spend. Look it is better for you to use your early years to work and build so that you do not struggle when you are old.

Tell ya wifey:- honey any extra monies I have, I am using to build OUR house. If you are already saving towards
That, add the 20k that you were contemplating giving your wife to the funds. Also please cut right down on giving family money and let her know that. Thank God you have a good job but as far as I am concerned you are not yet established till you stop paying rent.

misreal:
very very very good advice here..op, come and take food here.eat this one till you belle full.

Azinganga:
Endure this crazy demand of hers and pray to have children first.When children comes, she will start to see herself then as a stakeholder and must contribute financially even for your domestic needs.Women are supposed to be helpmeets and not extortionists.A helper should really help.

banjolek:
Hello guys,

I need your honest opinion on this, how much is really ideal to give one's wife as monthly pocket money?.

Here's my story, i recently got married and also moved to a new 3 bedroom apartment around gbagada. I earn a pretty decent income while my wife also works in the bank with a salary of like 150k. She saves a half of this salary and uses the remaining for upkeep.

Now the issue is my wife insists that i must give her monthly pocket money and i have proposed 20k, an amount i feel is more than adequate for her if added to about 75k which she already has to herself from her salary. Also note that this 20k does not mean i dont get to buy her random stuff during the month or provide anything she asks for if i feel its a reasonable demand.

A1so bear in mind that i am still 100% responsible for providing food and other bills in the house. In addition we just moved to a new apartment like i mentioned earlier and still in the process of furnishing it so a chunk of my monthly salary goes into furnishing the house.

We also have a plan to set up a business for her, so i'm also currently saving part of my salary to fulfill that dream.

Now my wife has rejected the proposed amount of 20k saying its too small.

I need your take on this people, considering all i have mentioned above, is 20k really too small to be giving her monthly?

i wrote this in a hurry, please bear with any typo observed.

5minsmadness:


I was going to attack your initial post but in seeing this explanation I had a rethink. So is this ^^^^ what ladies mean when they say they want to have a joint account with you? That would be interesting. I thot it was more like both of you pay your whole salaries into the account.

valacious:
Sire, I will tell it to your face, that 20k is too small, too small. Do you know how much tomatoes goes for now? Or meat? I suggest you add like 15k minimum, and you could be smart by telling her she will have to be in charge of buying all food stuffs.. You shouldn't even be handling that, cos it will be very expensive for you at the long run.. so I suggest you propose to her that you want her to run the house, and she should give you an estimate.. You then negotiate this estimate, and give her the bulk sum.. and everyone is happy.. Believe me, she will be adding a lot of her money every month to make up, but won't be bold enough to come ask for a raise, because you guys have reached an agreement... All the best..

Now the issue is my wife insists that i must give her monthly pocket money and i have proposed 20k, an amount i feel is more than adequate for her if added to about 75k which she already has to herself from her salary. Also note that this 20k does not mean i dont get to buy her random stuff during the month or provide anything she asks for if i feel its a reasonable demand.

A1so bear in mind that i am still 100% responsible for providing food and other bills in the house. In addition we just moved to a new apartment like i mentioned earlier and still in the process of furnishing it so a chunk of my monthly salary goes into furnishing the house.

We also have a plan to set up a business for her, so i'm also currently saving part of my salary to fulfill that dream.

fem29:


I'm sorry but I think you guys are being silly. Are you in the process of building a house?.Do you have land?. Do you want to be a tenant forever?. In this harsh economy you are just talking about spend spend spend. Look it is better for you to use your early years to work and build so that you do not struggle when you are old.

Tell ya wifey:- honey any extra monies I have, I am using to build OUR house. If you are already saving towards
That, add the 20k that you were contemplating giving your wife to the funds. Also please cut right down on giving family money and let her know that. Thank God you have a good job but as far as I am concerned you are not yet established till you stop paying rent.

byvan03:
She is working, I don't know why she is so interested in a stipend when you foot all the bills. She strikes me as greedy, she should be grateful. If she is not accepting the 20k, keep as part of your savings. Don't go trying to convince her to accept it anymore, you give your people money and it's a problem to her? When she isn't lacking? Some women sha.

Olumaeme:
If she is a feminist and always shouting gender equality give her nothing
But if she is a wonderful woman, give her according to your pocket, for me 30% of your salary is fine...

banjolek:
Hello guys,

I need your honest opinion on this, how much is really ideal to give one's wife as monthly pocket money?.

Here's my story, i recently got married and also moved to a new 3 bedroom apartment around gbagada. I earn a pretty decent income while my wife also works in the bank with a salary of like 150k. She saves a half of this salary and uses the remaining for upkeep.

Now the issue is my wife insists that i must give her monthly pocket money and i have proposed 20k, an amount i feel is more than adequate for her if added to about 75k which she already has to herself from her salary. Also note that this 20k does not mean i dont get to buy her random stuff during the month or provide anything she asks for if i feel its a reasonable demand.

A1so bear in mind that i am still 100% responsible for providing food and other bills in the house. In addition we just moved to a new apartment like i mentioned earlier and still in the process of furnishing it so a chunk of my monthly salary goes into furnishing the house.

We also have a plan to set up a business for her, so i'm also currently saving part of my salary to fulfill that dream.

Now my wife has rejected the proposed amount of 20k saying its too small.

I need your take on this people, considering all i have mentioned above, is 20k really too small to be giving her monthly?

i wrote this in a hurry, please bear with any typo observed.

Yomieluv:
Even my wife that isn't working for now doesn't demand for this.

Make your stand known..what is her money as in salary meant for then.

banjolek:
Hello guys,

I need your honest opinion on this, how much is really ideal to give one's wife as monthly pocket money?.

Here's my story, i recently got married and also moved to a new 3 bedroom apartment around gbagada. I earn a pretty decent income while my wife also works in the bank with a salary of like 150k. She saves a half of this salary and uses the remaining for upkeep.

Now the issue is my wife insists that i must give her monthly pocket money and i have proposed 20k, an amount i feel is more than adequate for her if added to about 75k which she already has to herself from her salary. Also note that this 20k does not mean i dont get to buy her random stuff during the month or provide anything she asks for if i feel its a reasonable demand.

A1so bear in mind that i am still 100% responsible for providing food and other bills in the house. In addition we just moved to a new apartment like i mentioned earlier and still in the process of furnishing it so a chunk of my monthly salary goes into furnishing the house.

We also have a plan to set up a business for her, so i'm also currently saving part of my salary to fulfill that dream.

Now my wife has rejected the proposed amount of 20k saying its too small.

I need your take on this people, considering all i have mentioned above, is 20k really too small to be giving her monthly?

i wrote this in a hurry, please bear with any typo observed.