OmichaelO:
Parents have grandkids already.

I'm last on the list.


the devil's advocate mode advice got me thinking though, thinking it rationally you're right .
but then, how will one accomplish the idea of starting and having a family

living apart ?

parents never get tired of grandkids as for the living together, its a progression. after a while, if you truly cant get enough of one another, then its just inevitable.

1st she spends a night sometimes and leave a few stuff (and the needed toothbrush).

2nd, after a few months of heavy dating, she then spends weekends and leave more stuff at your place... thats when she also starts to act like its her own place by cooking, and even cleaning (if she is raised right).

3rd, by then you've been dating for at least a year or more, and you guys are so comfortable together that she is at your place most days of the week. you now trust each other fully and are having unprotected sex, and you finally give her her own keys...

4th, by then, you guys must have had the important MARRIAGE talk, and if you explain it to her properly (and she isnt some religious sheep), then she will understand your point and accept the set up. its all about TRUST and UNDERSTANDING. women need SECURITY and if you can provide that, without having to marry her then its all good.

thats why your 5th and most important move is to ask her the obvious question: hey, why dont you move in OFFICIALLY? (even though she is practically living there). if she does move in, then A) you guys are already living as husband and wife and B) a marriage certificate wont improve what you guys already have...... FACT! its just a matter of time before she get pregnant and your family get bigger.

the few opposition you may have about living together and/or having kids unmarried is:
my parents will disown me... REPLY:"babe, you have to make a decision as to what you want. i am your family now and although i dont believe in marriage, i believe in us (you, I and all our future kids).thats why i want to spend the rest of my life with you, thats why you are here. so you have to make a decision whether you want to be with me OR if you have to go back to your parents and live the life they want you to live (without me). remember that i love you and marriage cant change that. but hey, if YOU gave me reasons why YOU want us to get married, then i will evaluate them, but your parents is not a worthy reason (to me)."

my church is against having a child unmarried... REPLY:"your church is also against having sex before marriage yet we are having fantastic bedroom acrobatics. so pls, dont be an hypocrite."

you can leave me whenever you desire... REPLY:"yes, i can... do you expect me to be with you even if i dont want to? by force? is that what marriage is to you? does it even make sense? if you doubt today the love i have for you then we shouldnt even spend another second together. whether married or not, marriage cant stop a man from leaving you. and if i suddenly die, dont worry i already have a will.

CASE CLOSED!

MRBrownJ:


parents never get tired of grandkids as for the living together, its a progression. after a while, if you truly cant get enough of one another, then its just inevitable.

1st she spends a night sometimes and leave a few stuff (and the needed toothbrush).

2nd, after a few months of heavy dating, she then spends weekends and leave more stuff at your place... thats when she also starts to act like its her own place by cooking, and even cleaning (if she is raised right).

3rd, by then you've been dating for at least a year or more, and you guys are so comfortable together that she is at your place most days of the week. you now trust each other fully and are having unprotected sex, and you finally give her her own keys...

4th, by then, you guys must have had the important MARRIAGE talk, and if you explain it to her properly (and she isnt some religious sheep), then she will understand your point and accept the set up. its all about TRUST and UNDERSTANDING. women need SECURITY and if you can provide that, without having to marry her then its all good.

thats why your 5th and most important move is to ask her the obvious question: hey, why dont you move in OFFICIALLY? (even though she is practically living there). if she does move in, then A) you guys are already living as husband and wife and B) a marriage certificate wont improve what you guys already have...... FACT! its just a matter of time before she get pregnant and your family get bigger.

the few opposition you may have about living together and/or having kids unmarried is:
my parents will disown me... REPLY:"babe, you have to make a decision as to what you want. i am your family now and although i dont believe in marriage, i believe in us (you, I and all our future kids).thats why i want to spend the rest of my life with you, thats why you are here. so you have to make a decision whether you want to be with me OR if you have to go back to your parents and live the life they want you to live (without me). remember that i love you and marriage cant change that. but hey, if YOU gave me reasons why YOU want us to get married, then i will evaluate them, but your parents is not a worthy reason (to me)."

my church is against having a child unmarried... REPLY:"your church is also against having sex before marriage yet we are having fantastic bedroom acrobatics. so pls, dont be an hypocrite."

you can leave me whenever you desire... REPLY:"yes, i can... do you expect me to be with you even if i dont want to? by force? is that what marriage is to you? does it even make sense? if you doubt today the love i have for you then we shouldnt even spend another second together. whether married or not, marriage cant stop a man from leaving you. and if i suddenly die, dont worry i already have a will.

CASE CLOSED!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You've said it all. Only if I hack likes on here to give 1,000,000 likes.
Thank you so much!

It's stifling. Maybe common law. Maybe.

@MRBrownJ I showed my friend the piece you wrote on this marriage issue.
Her reply "This Person is a Savage"

Mindfulness:


Well, miserable is a strong word and I don't mean to be mean.
Besides, I didn't say 'only' but certainly.

I strongly believe that happy women do NOT need constant validation from anyone. They do not feel any lack, they feel abundant. They do not seek, they have.

This is a bold statement even for you, but okay.

crackhaus:

This is a bold statement even for you, but okay.

It is. Do you agree or disagree?

Mindfulness:


It is. Do you agree or disagree?

To be honest, it could go either way.

Unhappiness or Neediness - both can preclude or include the other, depends on how you choose to look at it.

The problem of marriage is that two people decide that un-known faces must run their marriage for them via 'rules' and 'culture'

What stops you two from doing whatever you like as you like it provided both of you are happy?

Most people against marriage still have committed sexual relationships and I wonder what's the difference without the paper?

MRBrownJ:


parents never get tired of grandkids as for the living together, its a progression. after a while, if you truly cant get enough of one another, then its just inevitable.

1st she spends a night sometimes and leave a few stuff (and the needed toothbrush).

2nd, after a few months of heavy dating, she then spends weekends and leave more stuff at your place... thats when she also starts to act like its her own place by cooking, and even cleaning (if she is raised right).

3rd, by then you've been dating for at least a year or more, and you guys are so comfortable together that she is at your place most days of the week. you now trust each other fully and are having unprotected sex, and you finally give her her own keys...

4th, by then, you guys must have had the important MARRIAGE talk, and if you explain it to her properly (and she isnt some religious sheep), then she will understand your point and accept the set up. its all about TRUST and UNDERSTANDING. women need SECURITY and if you can provide that, without having to marry her then its all good.

thats why your 5th and most important move is to ask her the obvious question: hey, why dont you move in OFFICIALLY? (even though she is practically living there). if she does move in, then A) you guys are already living as husband and wife and B) a marriage certificate wont improve what you guys already have...... FACT! its just a matter of time before she get pregnant and your family get bigger.

the few opposition you may have about living together and/or having kids unmarried is:
my parents will disown me... REPLY:"babe, you have to make a decision as to what you want. i am your family now and although i dont believe in marriage, i believe in us (you, I and all our future kids).thats why i want to spend the rest of my life with you, thats why you are here. so you have to make a decision whether you want to be with me OR if you have to go back to your parents and live the life they want you to live (without me). remember that i love you and marriage cant change that. but hey, if YOU gave me reasons why YOU want us to get married, then i will evaluate them, but your parents is not a worthy reason (to me)."

my church is against having a child unmarried... REPLY:"your church is also against having sex before marriage yet we are having fantastic bedroom acrobatics. so pls, dont be an hypocrite."

you can leave me whenever you desire... REPLY:"yes, i can... do you expect me to be with you even if i dont want to? by force? is that what marriage is to you? does it even make sense? if you doubt today the love i have for you then we shouldnt even spend another second together. whether married or not, marriage cant stop a man from leaving you. and if i suddenly die, dont worry i already have a will.

CASE CLOSED!

Isn't it strange you are willing to do all these and unwilling to sign a paper to make it legal?

What does signing the paper take out of your relationship?

Different strokes for different folks, it's a personal decision and I don't think there's any 'wrong' choice. I will say I don't believe it's 'just' a peice of paper however, there are a number of other benefits to marriage besides the obvious companionship like legal, socioeconomic, psychological etc. Tax, medical, housing, death benefits just to name a few

bukatyne:


Isn't it strange you are willing to do all these and unwilling to sign a paper to make it legal?

What does signing the paper take out of your relationship?

what will signing a paper add to it?

Mindfulness:


Well, miserable is a strong word and I don't mean to be mean.
Besides, I didn't say 'only' but certainly.

I strongly believe that happy women do NOT need constant validation from anyone. They do not feel any lack, they feel abundant. They do not seek, they have.

I disagree here...

We all need constant validation/affirmation from loved ones.... that's how we were created; Even God needs constant 'validation'/praise from humans that is why He said He will raise stones to praise Him if humans don't.

bukatyne:


I disagree here...

We all need constant validation/affirmation from loved ones.... that's how we were created; Even God needs constant 'validation'/praise from humans that is why He said He will raise stones to praise Him if humans don't.

I agree, it's when it becomes almost needy that it can get exhausting which is a whole different case

bukatyne:


I disagree here...

We all need constant validation/affirmation from loved ones.... that's how we were created; Even God needs constant 'validation'/praise from humans that is why He said He will raise stones to praise Him if humans don't.

This part of you was what I was so hungry to see.

bukatyne:


I disagree here...

We all need constant validation/affirmation from loved ones.... that's how we were created; Even God needs constant 'validation'/praise from humans that is why He said He will raise stones to praise Him if humans don't.

Bukatyne, you know that we are not on the same page when it comes to religion so your argument why we need constant validation is not convincing at all to me. Besides, we are not talking about loved ones here but about husband and wife in particular. And what Crackhaus politely termed constant validation here is emotional neediness and that is a trait women who are full of themselves don't have.

That's all.

bukatyne:
The problem of marriage is that two people decide that un-known faces must run their marriage for them via 'rules' and 'culture'

What stops you two from doing whatever you like as you like it provided both of you are happy?

Most people against marriage still have committed sexual relationships and I wonder what's the difference without the paper?

OmichaelO:
@MRBrownJ I showed my friend the piece you wrote on this marriage issue.
Her reply "This Person is a Savage"

lol naaaah, i just fully believe in my stand against marriage... and also that many people have failed in their r/ships SOLELY due to marriage. so many are using marriage as a benchmark, like they've been dating/wooing someone and trying to impress/attract/entice that person, have fun together and all the beautiful madness of a r/ship... and the minute they get married, its like THE END. they believe that they dont need to impress/date/woo/entice/attract or have fun with their partner anymore (while this is exactly why that person fell in love with you). so now they become a "new" being, and it rarely work OR people unwillingly stay in this "often" miserable and boring union with a stranger. i certainly dont want that, and expect to impress/woo/date/entice/attract/conquer and have fun with her everyday that we are a couple (and i expect the same from her)... and the day she thinks she doesnt have to do that any longer then it would certainly be THE END for us.

bukatyne:
Isn't it strange you are willing to do all these and unwilling to sign a paper to make it legal?

A) dont get it twisted, all the stages that i wrote up there is what EVERYONE goes through in a r/ship (whether married or not), the only difference is the communication to tell her my views on the subject of marriage.

B) would YOU sign any contract which you didnt believe you got a fair deal out of and/or that wasnt a necessity in your life? i cannot be forced to enter into the bondage of marriage. i dont need a piece of paper to confirm what i have with someone, and if my woman did/does then obviously we have different aims/views in life.

C) again when someone explains to me (with intelligent facts and not religious nonsense) WHY i need to get married, is the day i probably will, but until then...

What does signing the paper take out of your relationship?

it takes a lot!!!!!
- it would take away my liberty to do what i feel is RIGHT (or wrong)
- it would take away the PRIDE i have to be myself
- it would take away some of the joy and happiness i have being in that said union
- it would take away some of the LOVE/CARE/AFFECTION i have for this woman who need a "contract" in order to believe in my intentions with her
- but most importantly, it would remove that said woman away from my life, as i certainly wouldnt desire to be with a woman who brings the above points i mentionned into my life.

MRBrownJ:


lol naaaah, i just fully believe in my stand against marriage... and also that many people have failed in their r/ships SOLELY due to marriage. so many are using marriage as a benchmark, like they've been dating/wooing someone and trying to impress/attract/entice that person, have fun together and all the beautiful madness of a r/ship... and the minute they get married, its like THE END. they believe that they dont need to impress/date/woo/entice/attract or have fun with their partner anymore (while this is exactly why that person fell in love with you). so now they become a "new" being, and it rarely work OR people unwillingly stay in this "often" miserable and boring union with a stranger. i certainly dont want that, and expect to impress/woo/date/entice/attract/conquer and have fun with her everyday that we are a couple (and i expect the same from her)... and the day she thinks she doesnt have to do that any longer then it would certainly be THE END for us.

Cogent point again!
another thing is things getting bored, I don't want a boring life at all.

crackhaus:

To be honest, it could go either way.

Unhappiness or Neediness - both can preclude or include the other, depends on how you choose to look at it.

So you agree.

OmichaelO:
Cogent point again!
another thing is things getting bored, I don't want a boring life at all.

It's not your wife's job to entertain you but trust that your kids will. Family life is not boring at all.

Mindfulness:


It's not your wife's job to entertain you but trust that your kids will. Family life is not boring at all.

hmmm. Until then!

I believe you have a contrary opinion yeah ?

I like the kids part

MRBrownJ:


lol naaaah, i just fully believe in my stand against marriage... and also that many people have failed in their r/ships SOLELY due to marriage. so many are using marriage as a benchmark, like they've been dating/wooing someone and trying to impress/attract/entice that person, have fun together and all the beautiful madness of a r/ship... and the minute they get married, its like THE END. they believe that they dont need to impress/date/woo/entice/attract or have fun with their partner anymore (while this is exactly why that person fell in love with you). so now they become a "new" being, and it rarely work OR people unwillingly stay in this "often" miserable and boring union with a stranger. i certainly dont want that, and expect to impress/woo/date/entice/attract/conquer and have fun with her everyday that we are a couple (and i expect the same from her)... and the day she thinks she doesnt have to do that any longer then it would certainly be THE END for us.



A) dont get it twisted, all the stages that i wrote up there is what EVERYONE goes through in a r/ship (whether married or not), the only difference is the communication to tell her my views on the subject of marriage.

B) would YOU sign any contract which you didnt believe you got a fair deal out of and/or that wasnt a necessity in your life? i cannot be forced to enter into the bondage of marriage. i dont need a piece of paper to confirm what i have with someone, and if my woman did/does then obviously we have different aims/views in life.

C) again when someone explains to me (with intelligent facts and not religious nonsense) WHY i need to get married, is the day i probably will, but until then...



it takes a lot!!!!!
- it would take away my liberty to do what i feel is RIGHT (or wrong)
- it would take away the PRIDE i have to be myself
- it would take away some of the joy and happiness i have being in that said union
- it would take away some of the LOVE/CARE/AFFECTION i have for this woman who need a "contract" in order to believe in my intentions with her
- but most importantly, it would remove that said woman away from my life, as i certainly wouldnt desire to be with a woman who brings the above points i mentionned into my life.

I share your views on marriage to a large extent but there are very good reasons for a couple to get married.
1. You automatically get shared custody with every child born.
2. You have rights concerning your spouse if she becomes involved in an accident and ends up in hospital.
3. Tax benefits.
4. Same family name.
5. PARTY! It is also a good opportunity for the two families to meet and get to know each other.
6. More stability. Married couples have higher chances of staying together than cohabitating couples. And if they don't want to, there is still the option of divorce.
7. Some people prefer to refer to their partner as wife / husband instead of boy-/girlfriend.
8. Some peple will take your union more seriously if you make an official commitmen. Imagine, the president of any country referring to the first lady as girlfriend. The world is not there yet.
9. If you die, she will not have to pay a huge sum on the inheritance if she is your wife in some countries but if she is 'just' your girlfriend, oh well, she will.

OmichaelO:
hmmm. Until then!

I believe you have a contrary opinion yeah ?

I like the kids part

I don't think getting married is compulsory and I don't think it's a special achievement. In fact, it has its advantages and disadvantages.

Mindfulness:


I don't think getting married is compulsory and I don't think it's a special achievement. In fact, it has its advantages and disadvantages.

Very True, the advantages might supersede the disadvantages and visa versa!

I like your views too.

OmichaelO:
Very True, the advantages might supersede the disadvantages and visa versa!

I like your views too.

Right.

Mindfulness:

I share your views on marriage to a large extent but there are very good reasons for a couple to get married.
1. You automatically get shared custody with every child born.

if BOTH parent's name is on the birth certificate then a father has just as much RIGHT over that child as his mother, and therefore custody will be 50/50... unless stated otherwise (by a judge) due to unforeseen issues.
here is even a clue for you: these children can even have daddy's surname, since his name is on the birth certificate, thus mummy's surname will be the middle name (mine do)!

2. You have rights concerning your spouse if she becomes involved in an accident and ends up in hospital.

the laws today concerning common-law union are exactly the same as those of marriage union.

3. Tax benefits.

the laws today concerning common-law union are exactly the same as marriage union.

4. Same family name.

not every married person change their name, but the important part is how is that a "benefit"?

5. PARTY! It is also a good opportunity for the two families to meet and get to know each other.

why wouldnt the families of common-law union meet?! its only if the parents are against such union that they wouldnt, but many are cool with that (so long as the couple are happy).

6. More stability. Married couples have higher chances of staying together than cohabitating couples. And if they don't want to, there is still the option of divorce.

BWAAAAAAAH! if someone doesnt want to be with you any longer then i dont see why they should be enforced to stay, as what you wrote above entails. this is a union, not enforced slavery.

7. Some people prefer to refer to their partner as wife / husband instead of boy-/girlfriend.

dont be mistaking, they are (common-law) wives and husbands, and furthermore, you dont need a marriage certificate to call anyone your wifey/hubby (or whatever you desire). the minute your bf/gf moves in with you, whether married or not, then she becomes your wifey.

but here is 2 very important questions for you:
1) if i met you today and introduce my partner to you as my wife, why would you think that she is any less?!
2) many Africans polygamists are legally taking X amount of co-wives, how are these union any different/better/legal IN YOUR EYES than a common-law union (knowing that traditional marriages are just as valid as common-law union)?!

8. Some peple will take your union more seriously if you make an official commitmen. Imagine, the president of any country referring to the first lady as girlfriend. The world is not there yet.

i dont care what people think of my union, and would certainly NOT get married simply to please/accommodate unknown strangers in my life. so long as partner and I take the union seriously, is all that really matters.

9. If you die, she will not have to pay a huge sum on the inheritance if she is your wife in some countries but if she is 'just' your girlfriend, oh well, she will.

the laws today concerning common-law union are exactly the same as those for marriage union... but hey, a simple will is a documented that will sort that issue out (and since any gainfully employed adult needs a will, ).

MRBrownJ:


if BOTH parent's name is on the birth certificate then a father has just as much RIGHT over that child as his mother, and therefore custody will be 50/50... unless stated otherwise (by a judge) due to unforeseen issues.
here is even a clue for you: these children can even have daddy's surname, since his name is on the birth certificate, thus mummy's surname will be the middle name (mine do)!

Re-read what I wrote. I wrote that you automatically receive shared custody when you are married. If you are not, you have to notarize a written statement that acknowledges the unmarried father's paternity.

the laws today concerning common-law union are exactly the same as those of marriage union.

No, they are not. You act like you know the laws in all countries when just recently these laws have been subject to controversial discussions in the country where I am located because cohabitating couples do NOT have the same rights as married couples and conservative parties want to keep it this way.

the laws today concerning common-law union are exactly the same as marriage union.

Again, not true!
You can't even get a family insurance including everyone if you are not married.

not every married person change their name, but the important part is how is that a "benefit"?

Ask your children's teachers and doctors. I, for my part, want to have the same name as my children and so does my husband. It shows that we belong together and it gives a sense of unity.

why wouldnt the families of common-law union meet?! its only if the parents are against such union that they wouldnt, but many are cool with that (so long as the couple are happy).

Really? There was only one occassion in my life where my ENTIRE family and that of my husband met all at once and that was our wedding.

BWAAAAAAAH! if someone doesnt want to be with you any longer then i dont see why they should be enforced to stay, as what you wrote above entails. this is a union, not enforced slavery.

Who said that anyone should be forced to stay with anyone?

dont be mistaking, they are (common-law) wives and husbands, and furthermore, you dont need a marriage certificate to call anyone your wifey/hubby (or whatever you desire). the minute your bf/gf moves in with you, whether married or not, then she becomes your wifey.

BWAAAAAAH! Because you say so?

wife noun

the woman that somebody is married to; a married woman

http://www.oxfordlearnersdictionaries.com/definition/english/wife?q=wife

but here is 2 very important questions for you:
1) if i met you today and introduce my partner to you as my wife, why would you think that she is any less?!
2) many Africans polygamists are legally taking X amount of co-wives, how are these union any different/better/legal IN YOUR EYES than a common-law union (knowing that traditional marriages are just as valid as common-law union)?!

It's not about you or me. As a matter of fact, if you aspire to run for a public office, you better be married.
I couldn't care less whether you do or don't.

i dont care what people think of my union, and would certainly NOT get married simply to please/accommodate unknown strangers in my life. so long as partner and I take the union seriously, is all that really matters.

Good.

the laws today concerning common-law union are exactly the same as those for marriage union... but hey, a simple will is a documented that will sort that issue out (and since any gainfully employed adult needs a will, ).

Like I said, they are NOT.

Mindfulness:


Bukatyne, you know that we are not on the same page when it comes to religion so your argument why we need constant validation is not convincing at all to me. Besides, we are not talking about loved ones here but about husband and wife in particular. And what Crackhaus politely termed constant validation here is emotional neediness and that is a trait women who are full of themselves don't have.

Yep, that.

Mindfulness:


So you agree.

Lol... It's a factor.

Same way idleness can be another factor, busy women will be too busy to display emotional neediness.

Mindfulness! Mindfulness!! Mindfulness!!! How are you . Do you really believe, and more pertinently, practise what you preach? This doesn't even sound right on paper, let alone on grass where the match will actually be played .

Mindfulness:
The problem is that you have bought into other people's / society's concept of marriage instead of designing your own. You don't have to be financially responsible for your spouse and even less emotionally. In fact, the best relationships are those where everyone takes full responsibility for themselves. You don't have to give up your privacy and freedom either.

Even in unions that are not religiously based, the comprehensiveness of marriage means there will be a great deal of meshing and overlap. Finances and emotions are two of the biggest areas here. And, even if the couple don't "take responsibility" per se, they will still be affected by each others individual financial or emotional circumstances.

And while you may not have to forego all "privacy & freedom", there must be a change/reduction, it can no longer be unfettered. Why is that even a bad thing?

Mindfulness:

I don't know how many but certainly the miserable ones.
He can get himself a happy girl though. They exist.

I perfectly understand it too but he can choose someone who takes full responsibility for her happiness. If he does the same, two happy beings will come together to create a happy relationship. It's the only way.

As for happiness, if 2 individuals, who are totally happy and fulfilled in their own right come together in marriage, it doesn't mean that the 1. the marriage will be happy, or 2. if it is, it's due to the individual happiness of the couple, and more importantly, 3, that the happiness in the marriage is nothing more than their individual states, as that actually begs the question "why marry"?, if true.

There is a happiness that comes from the convergence, a different or additional happiness, that is not totally dependent or aligned with the individual happiness states of the couple before marriage. And it affects their individual states after.

If by happiness you mean "healthy", perhaps, otherwise, I find all this really odd, or I'm totally misreading you?

Please help a broda out


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bukatyne:


Isn't it strange you are willing to do all these and unwilling to sign a paper to make it legal?

What does signing the paper take out of your relationship?

Bukky dear, forgive me for coming a little late. But late or not, I owe you and I'm rendering a heartfelt gratitude for all your kindness this far.

I'm so thankful and humbled!
Bless you!


Saturday is the final. We made it through in 2nd place. Pls if you have other NL handles, they'll be of tremendous help come Saturday.

Thanks alot!

bukatyne:
The problem of marriage is that two people decide that un-known faces must run their marriage for them via 'rules' and 'culture'

What stops you two from doing whatever you like as you like it provided both of you are happy?

Really? Even a cursory reading of this begs the question. How sensible is it to embrace a societal institution – marriage - and then reject the conventions and protocols society places on that institution? Society places no demands on the dynamic within any individual union. Society' demands, and rightly so, are more "structural" in nature - "what marriage is", not "how you live it".

I consider MRBrownJ' position equally faulty, arguing to reject the institution, but insisting on commandeering the conventions. A wife is a woman who has been formally married to a man – her husband. Not a woman who is shacked up with her lover, or one who co-habits.

It comes with a host of inter-connected words, plus societal and legal norms/benefits. MBJ wants the kudos and benefits without the responsibility or commitment. Ole !

Funny how this thread is turned in some ways – possibly most – about people traducing the institution of marriage. I’m not sure that was OP’ intent? 1bkaye n’gbo? Anyway, I see a number of possible “reasons”, amongst which are;

1. Whilst appreciating what it is, and does, rejecting marriage – simply preferring an alternative, or no arrangement
2. Rejecting marriage, because one thinks it is bondage, is scared, has seen others not work out, etc. Essentially fear.
3. The popular, but ultimately odd “ create marriage in your own image” notion.

If 1, that’s fine, eschew marriage. If 2, the problem is really with you, not marriage. If 3, as stated, society does not interferes in the dynamic of any individual union. It only serves to encourage protect and celebrate it. in what can be considered a more structural sense.

So I wonder at the vitriol against the most venerable of institutions that is marriage? And as ever, I would love for someone to come up with a superior arrangement, or even one that comes close to delivering the benefits that marriage does to all concerned, and to society as a whole.

For a second I thought my job was done here, Mindfulness defending marriage


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