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Sexual Depravity In Nigeria: Talking To Your Child by Onegai(f): 10:50pm On Jun 23, 2016 |
Child sexual abuse nigeria Source: http://naturalnigerian.com/2016/06/8265/#comment-515914 24 Likes 10 Shares |
Re: Sexual Depravity In Nigeria: Talking To Your Child by Onegai(f): 10:52pm On Jun 23, 2016 |
Here is one of the commenters' experience with this: NN, my daughter is only three years old and we talk about body parts everyday. Why? Cuz she keeps coming home with a different idea about her body parts than what i have taught her. I walked in on a five year old mimicking the act of sex with her and i still cringe till this day. She knew what I had taught her, but allowed the girl to pull her clothes down in the name of friendship. I felt like I had failed, i didn’t capture friends in all my do’s and don’ts. Turns out that the five year old was being molested by a seven year old, and she got to see adults having sex in her presence. Sex ed is necessary, we need to be the first and most accurate and least judgmental source of information on sex for our kids. And we really need to shake of these ideas of spiritualism and religiosity that clouds our judgment and decision making in this country if we want to make progress. 5 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: Sexual Depravity In Nigeria: Talking To Your Child by Onegai(f): 10:56pm On Jun 23, 2016 |
I was told by someone in public health that the number of Child Molestation cases she treats weekly is double the amount of adult rape cases she sees. If you think this is an exaggeration, start counting the number of molestation cases that get moved to the Frontpage of Nairaland weekly. Make sure you check the ages of the victims. Then come back and ask your conscience if it's fine to play gender wars or crack a joke about it or turn your eyes away determinedly from a situation getting worse in our society. If you feel the only solution is to bleat "may God protect our children", then perhaps sit down and ask yourself if you should really be having kids. Because it is not by force and it's a tough job. 20 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: Sexual Depravity In Nigeria: Talking To Your Child by Ronpet777(m): 11:18pm On Jun 23, 2016 |
I begin to wonder if ithas always been like dis or has d world so degenerated all of a sudden? U find perverts everywhere.Were they born dt way or made? Pls,parents need to be extra careful and prayerful! 6 Likes |
Re: Sexual Depravity In Nigeria: Talking To Your Child by cococandy(f): 12:13am On Jun 24, 2016 |
CC Acidosis. |
Re: Sexual Depravity In Nigeria: Talking To Your Child by Ewuro4: 1:06am On Jun 24, 2016 |
Not only in Nigeria, the truth is ; until the person is red handedly caught in the act with a minor then he can be charged for statutory ràpe ELSE the worst an accuser can do is to get a restraining order against the person and you better have a good case in order to get one from the courts. Being a parent is a choice. Caring and keeping them safe is MANDATORY. The world as a whole is filled with toxic minds roaming the streets. You just never know! I started sex education ( implications of early sex & it's benefit when you wait) from Kindergarten till now then public health nurses are doing a great job in regards to body changes and what to expect after the first cycle. I sternly instructed my girls never to sit on any Aunty or Uncle's lap, avoid frontal hugs , and they were to never allow anyone lift them! Better to be safe than sorry. 5 Likes 8 Shares |
Re: Sexual Depravity In Nigeria: Talking To Your Child by Onegai(f): 6:34am On Jun 24, 2016 |
The writer of the article organised a program for people with Natural Hair and Organic lifestyles (Food, Drinks etc). Because of this issue which just happened to her, she has invited a speaker from an NGO to train parents on how to talk to their kids about sex education and molestation. I've attended her programs and I may decide to attend this one, it's tomorrow on the island, 25th June. Try and come. I have also mentioned Nomthi Odukoya's book for kids "No Don't Touch Me There", it is easily digested by even a 3 year old. I wasn't planning on going but I've seen this her situation before happen (perverts publicly exposing themselves and no-one doing anything). I have even seen the same reaction from her neighbour (who has kids!) From other men: smiles and telling me "you're overreacting/he's a madman/ignore" then something will go wrong and we all start wailing and calling Jesus. We need to start making people take responsibility for their behaviour. Stop allowing people whip out their privates in public in the name of urinating (why must you stop immediately and pee right there? Why not find a private spot? Do Hausa mallams who squat to pee privately have 2 heads that they have the brains to be modest and some people will do it and even checking out who is walking past, schoolchildren or not??). Please start educating people because if not you will continue to hear "45 year old men attack 7 year old girl or boy". 4 Likes |
Re: Sexual Depravity In Nigeria: Talking To Your Child by Onegai(f): 6:41am On Jun 24, 2016 |
More comments from the blog I was just going to suggest the 5year old was being molested when I read the rest of your comment. If you don't teach your child, someone else will do it for you. Even schools are not going to be doing the right thing as this commenter noticed from her daughter in creche: Thank you so much for sharing. I have two daughters (3 years and 11 months) and I think it’s about time I started giving my 3 year old a sex ed. It’s scary what the world is becoming but we have to protect the innocence of our young ones. I remember when my little girl just started school, when I would give her a bath, she’d hold her belly button and go “wee wee”. I was traumatised not to say the least. Got to school the next day and warned her teachers not to have the girls and the boys use the toilets together. It is not a school's job to train your child. The sad thing about this thread is that parents that live abroad will comment and have access to help should anything happen, it will remind them to be vigilant. Parents in Nigeria who have nothing to protect their child will read, murmur a word of prayer and move on and forget it immediately. |
Re: Sexual Depravity In Nigeria: Talking To Your Child by Acidosis(m): 7:06am On Jun 24, 2016 |
cococandy: The truth is that you can't give them all they ask. What if they demand for a real practice? Sexual Reproduction is a common subject in primary/secondary schools, we all learned these stuffs but never taught with pornograp.hic images. Many Nigerians today were raised with those so called funny and flimsy euphemisms, but at the right time we learnt the right words. You can't control these kids, I wouldn't want a situation where a child will go about harassing my guest and demanding their sexuality (peni.s or vagi.na). Sometimes, what we do not know, may not kill us. Meanwhile, some of these young girls getting rap.ed by shameless men is not a result of zero knowledge on sexuali.ty., even the adults get rap.ed sometimes. If we give them the knowledge, can we also give them the power to beat a grown giant with 6 six? 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Sexual Depravity In Nigeria: Talking To Your Child by Onegai(f): 7:31am On Jun 24, 2016 |
Acidosis: I will speak to my child about not discussing these things with adults other than mummy and daddy. That is part of the conversation: no-one touches you and no-one says "let me help you with your pant". And in every single case I have read or heard about sexual abuse, the child was in NO PHYSICAL DANGER UNTIL THE ABUSE STARTED. The initial contact with the perpetrator was one of normalcy (pastor, parents friend, neighbour, co-worker, customer, driver, relative). Not one single case on NL was ever "a stranger grabbed my child and attacked", it was always someone they knew. So the last part of what you wrote holds no water: I will teach my child to be more afraid of the people we interact with than random strangers. Because I know everyone will tell her "don't take sweets from someone you don't know" but no-one will tell her "if Baba Sule sends you a message and says you should bring it to his room, don't go". The danger is around the child already, not some faceless unknown quantity out there. It is not about teaching the child to fight off a grown person, it is about teaching the child to feel uncomfortable with most grown people when the situation warrants it. Sexual Reproduction is not well taught. My Biology teacher was a pastor, she said she didn't want to spoil us . Even on NL, do we not see threads from people asking the most basic questions on how pregnancy happens? Village girls know more about the body than most city kids. 11 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: Sexual Depravity In Nigeria: Talking To Your Child by Acidosis(m): 7:47am On Jun 24, 2016 |
Onegai: I'm in agreement with some of your points. The instructions we give them will go a long way in shaping their development and protecting them from danger. I remember how my dad warned me at 5 or 6 (not sure now) never to run errands for someone who wants cigarettes or alcohol. I also remember how I told a casual worker back then the same words my dad told me. Funny thing is till date, I've never (with my hands or money) bought cigarette or alcohol for anyone. I'm just being careful about sexual-related exposures. Some of these teachings (words) may not be applicable to certain age. It isn't only about s.ex, there are simpler and non-offensive ways of teaching other subjects in schools. 3 Likes |
Re: Sexual Depravity In Nigeria: Talking To Your Child by Mopricelezz(f): 9:11am On Jun 24, 2016 |
Things are happening indeed, I've started teaching my 3year old.. Your pe.nis is your pe.nis and not some 'kokoro' or 'private part' . May God help us oo |
Re: Sexual Depravity In Nigeria: Talking To Your Child by cococandy(f): 10:47am On Jun 24, 2016 |
I'm assuming that as a parent one would know how to defuse such a situation. And it's not to prevent forceful rape rather to prevent being tricked into complying with the sexual depravity of an adult trickster. I don't understand the bold. You think being open to them about sexuality will make them do that? That's actually opposite to the truth. Also read about teaching them the importance of privacy?I'm thinking if the parent did their job well, the kid/s will understand not to discuss such with strangers or other adults. Acidosis: 1 Like |
Re: Sexual Depravity In Nigeria: Talking To Your Child by PresVA: 11:11am On Jun 24, 2016 |
Mopricelezz: Eehh talking about sex education, don't you think kids may want to taste the 'real thing' when they become so sexually exposed? I started wanting to 'know more' about sex when I got a glimpse of it But then leaving them totally ignorant may be detrimental. .. God help me cos I really don't know how to teach my children about sex 3 Likes |
Re: Sexual Depravity In Nigeria: Talking To Your Child by Acidosis(m): 8:39pm On Jun 24, 2016 |
cococandy: Again, I agree with some of your points, but not all. I still believe being open is good, but using sensitive words and explicit photos like one teaching Anatomy 401, is way too much for a kid. A kid should know certain things, a teenager should know more, and at adulthood, they can know all if they choose to. A 3 year old girl should know that her vg is meant for urination. At 8, 9, 10, they can learn about sex education and reproduction. At 12, 13, a girl should know that beyond urination and reproduction, the vg is also used for monthly flow. At 15, 16+ I'm sure they'll know the meaning of ovulation. 5 Likes |
Re: Sexual Depravity In Nigeria: Talking To Your Child by Mopricelezz(f): 8:56am On Jun 25, 2016 |
Acidosis: I agree with you 2 Likes |
Re: Sexual Depravity In Nigeria: Talking To Your Child by Princefrank90(m): 1:30am On Jul 25, 2016 |
It is very sure to say dat |
Re: Sexual Depravity In Nigeria: Talking To Your Child by Nobody: 6:50am On Jul 25, 2016 |
Nawa....Oh!!! @op. someone must have dosed off b4 he can finish reading this epistles its either you're a good story teller or you're trying to perfect your writing skills I doubt if people would want to spend the whole day just to go through your story..ahh 2 Likes |
Re: Sexual Depravity In Nigeria: Talking To Your Child by byvan03: 7:03am On Jul 25, 2016 |
It has nothing to do with these days. When we were toddlers, I and siblings, we lived upstairs on the last floor. There is this neighbour in the next building that does same thing every damn day once we play on that balcony. We all see him but never reported because we certainly don't know how to explain it to an adult. He knows we always watch, I couldn't make much sense out of what I saw at the time because I was only four, my siblings and cousin were younger . They watched too but we never spoke about, probably because it makes no sense to them as it didn't to me. Perverts have been around for a long time, it's more in our face with the aid of social media. Kids need to be taught what they need to know, we got to do what we got to do to protect them no matter how uncomfortable. I agree with acidosis too on method of teaching, you don't go over exposing them because you are trying to teach them . You will end up creating more questions than answers, peaking their curiosity than dousing it. 13 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Sexual Depravity In Nigeria: Talking To Your Child by LordReed(m): 4:59pm On Jul 25, 2016 |
One of the things I am happy about my lil girl's development is her sense of self defense. The other day we were at church playing outside when one little boy wanted to pull up her dress. She immediately pushed her dress back down, smacked the boy and came to report to me. I was ecstatic, less than 2 and she was already so self aware. I plan on building on this, when she's old enough I am enrolling her in self defense classes as well as teaching her about "stranger danger". In as much as I want her to be able to socialise properly I will not bring her up to have any sort of victim mentality. Also by the Grace of God I plan to have such a relationship with her that no topic will be taboo without being inappropriate so that if she encounters such a thing as the OP described she will tell me about it. We should not encourage our children to be silent in the face of such dangers. If a teacher is propositioning them in school to do untoward acts for example they should not be afraid to tell us as parents. This was one problem I had with the way we were brought up, no channels to legitimately bring up seemingly awkward topics. I remember puberty and wet dreams, who could I talk to? Nobody because I knew (even though I might have been wrong) I will be judged, probably taken to a pastor for deliverance from spirit wife and what not. Let's not let our prejudices get in the way of healthy communication with our kids, they won't alert us to some of these things if it appears like we are either not going to take it seriously or accuse them of being complicit. 12 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Sexual Depravity In Nigeria: Talking To Your Child by Kajiang02(m): 12:15am On Sep 19, 2016 |
@Lalasticlala This will do well to re-orientate parents on how best/early to start Sex-ed for Kids. |
Re: Sexual Depravity In Nigeria: Talking To Your Child by yeyeboi(m): 9:59am On Sep 19, 2016 |
I don't have the patient to read this morning I would prefer a female to read and sum up for me |
Re: Sexual Depravity In Nigeria: Talking To Your Child by chimah3(m): 10:00am On Sep 19, 2016 |
Prayer is the only solution!! Because no matter the measures you want to take...Any child that still wants to go crazy after all the lectures will still do so! Just teach them whats right and the conditions that will befall them if they do wrong! Don't force it...Just make them understand!! World is a crazy place now...we all must just be careful! Also censoring what they watch and read from an early age would help! As for the crazy masturbator...report him to the security officials nearby!! 1 Like |
Re: Sexual Depravity In Nigeria: Talking To Your Child by Nobody: 10:03am On Sep 19, 2016 |
O |
Re: Sexual Depravity In Nigeria: Talking To Your Child by zion69(m): 10:05am On Sep 19, 2016 |
He he lol, can't stop laughing cc lalasticlala fynestboi ishilove ijebabe |
Re: Sexual Depravity In Nigeria: Talking To Your Child by Nairadays: 10:08am On Sep 19, 2016 |
Sex education is very important. |
Re: Sexual Depravity In Nigeria: Talking To Your Child by garlicrey(m): 10:09am On Sep 19, 2016 |
Maybe this comment wont be important for the majority of people here. Some of you will ignore it, most of yall wont bother to read and it'll go unnoticed along with other comments maybe I'll be criticized for this but i just want to let yall know I'm selling bananas |
Re: Sexual Depravity In Nigeria: Talking To Your Child by Rex123(m): 10:09am On Sep 19, 2016 |
It is disgusting wanting to have sex with children, the emotional scare would be deadly! I have a friend with that burden! She is afraid of sex! We should advocate for laws banning child marriage and severely punish people who abuse children sexually! 4 Likes |
Re: Sexual Depravity In Nigeria: Talking To Your Child by OsuGanja(m): 10:10am On Sep 19, 2016 |
Onegai: Reading this got me angry cos most people are blind to everything happening in the society today.....When the Pervert rapes a little girl in the area,that's when you start seeing the stupid Nigerians making noise....They won't eliminate a problem from the start,they let it become a hydra and start fighting a battle they can't finish.....We have women like this too,I was raped when I was 10 by a calabar lady in her 20's....Y'all should be watchful 2 Likes |
Re: Sexual Depravity In Nigeria: Talking To Your Child by Nobody: 10:15am On Sep 19, 2016 |
I think it is time we as a society started having those "unholy" conversation at family level. 2 Likes |
Re: Sexual Depravity In Nigeria: Talking To Your Child by Kajiang02(m): 10:16am On Sep 19, 2016 |
Thanks mod. This topic sank well into me, and I'm sure of you got kids (or plan to soonest), you'll find this piece quite educational and timely. I Ike the authors thought of getting pepper spray as well as other protective devices against such paedophile and wouldbe rapist. 1 Like |
Re: Sexual Depravity In Nigeria: Talking To Your Child by Nobody: 10:18am On Sep 19, 2016 |
nice thread, will love to be a mum someday, just here to learn, have witnessed cases of child molestation, infact one on my street, an 8 year old was molested by their landlord, she was raised by her single mother who was too busy looking for how to pay her bills (can't really blame the poor woman) the case was dismissed by the police and he was set free because poor woman did not have enough money to pursue the case, so I have always wondered how I can protect my kids in the future 3 Likes |
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