i have a friend who came to me to advice her on an issue.pls i need ur advice to properly advice her.she said,her husband is all she has and that she trust,loves,respects her husband.but recently he has changed.he used to hunger and thirst for her very much and she would feed him.however, he doesn't do it any longer, saying it's long hours of work that  makes him tire.then sometime this, week she came across a pack of condom in his car with one sachet missing .and of course they do not use it.

she is worried and wants to confront him.but wants to know how to go about it .because she has made up her mind to openly attack him,then disrespect him and do things her on way with or without his consent.she's been married for 5yrs with 3 guys n 1 gal.she's still very much beautiful.

anneduke:

i have a friend who came to me to advice her on an issue.pls i need your advice to properly advice her.she said,her husband is all she has and that she trust,loves,respects her husband.but recently he has changed.he used to hunger and thirst for her very much and she would feed him.however, he doesn't do it any longer, saying it's long hours of work that makes him tire.then sometime this, week she came across a pack of condom in his car with one sachet missing .and of course they do not use it.

she is worried and wants to confront him.but wants to know how to go about it .because she has made up her mind to openly attack him,then disrespect him and do things her on way with or without his consent.she's been married for 5yrs with 3 guys n 1 gal.she's still very much beautiful.

Hmmm, this is a tight one, she needs to confront him first, calmly without any drama or shouting match, then hear what he got to say. Preferably when the kids are away. His excuses for not giving her attention as he used to is a common sign of playing away, so the early she pounce on him the better.

I don't it is a good idea trying to know the truth by starting with a fight(attack),to my own understanding i think she sould tell her husband about the condom she found in his car, with some little conversation about it I'm sure she will get to know the truth about it if her husband is having an affair or not.

From what you have said,saying that the husband is not affectionate anymore,i think something has gone wrong, This is where she needs to sit down and think very deeply to know if she has done something wrong, there are tricky ways for her to gain the attention of her husband to know if she has done something wrong, i'm sure from there she will have some clue to what is going on.

do you still like the cloths u bought 6months ago now the way u love them when u bought them?

ur girlfriend should better think of way to rekindle her husband's love instead of worrying about some stupid condum

well, this kind of thing requires a lot of wisdom in dealing with it. so, if she wants to confront him openly, I think it may not end well.
She should check herself and find out if she has changed in some of her obligations to him , A lot of times, the guys start cheating when their wives always give excuses for not making love , they are tired, headaches, etc.  the poor man wants to satisfy his urge and he goes outside ,
she has to be sure she still wants to maintain her marriage , and if she wants to call it quits, well, she is still beautiful , she can be a 2nd or 3rd wife to someone out there ,
who knows, maybe the condom is a complimentary gift ,
worst case is that if he using condom outside, he is trying to play safe ,

frank3.16:

do you still like the cloths u bought 6months ago now the way u love them when u bought them?

your girlfriend should better think of way to rekindle her husband's love instead of worrying about some stupid condum

Listen to this guy! He is on the right track.

And btw, being confrontational and disrespectful is not going to accomplish Shit!

He cheated and her and she knows it. Thing is can she forgive him and stay? Once a cheater always a cheater.

frank3.16:

do you still like the cloths u bought 6months ago now the way u love them when u bought them?

your girlfriend should better think of way to rekindle her husband's love instead of worrying about some stupid condum

u will sing same song if it was the woman?

well,ask him how,where did he find or use d condom,but be careful abt it

I think its good that way for him to protect himself

U or ur friend?

That’s a very sad situation; I’m really sorry for that your friend.

But you must know that in times like this, patience and good listening is the major criteria for winning the battle.

I’m sure he’s bored with that marriage; or there’s something in that your friend that irritates him; but he doesn’t feel like approaching her and telling her – her problem; he feels that keeping lates nights and enjoying the comfort of the woman next door is his best option.

So she in turn must must look for strategies in winning back her husband.

You said they’ve been married for five years right? Well she can start by playing the cd/dvd of their marriage whenever he (the husband) is around; she should also change her appearance and attitude; i.e. become very nice and polite, avoid arguing with him, always cook his favorite dish and be sure to buy him one or two love gifts whenever she goes out; just to remind him of the unending love she has for him.

I’m sure that if she continues showing him this kind of gesture, sooner or later, he would realize that he’s on the wrong path; and come back to her.

A Chinese saying goes like this:

For a happy marriage,
The man should be deaf and the woman blind.

Let her don't tell yet. She should watch out if he misbehaves further.
If he does, then confront him with all the accusations, old and new.

This is outrageous.

5 years of marriage and four kids is a big deal. She needs to deal with it now. Not tomorrow. She does not need to be nice either. Bottom line though is that when she finally gives him the chance to talk she should listen to what he has to say. That's the only way that they can avoid similar mistakes. It is possible that he never did this before

me wey find one pack from my girl friend abi fiance pack all used nko? abegiii,

thank God say na one he used, na inside car he doam? .

make sure u buy original one for him,

Ebonyeyes:

He cheated and her and she knows it. Thing is can she forgive him and stay?

True indeed.

Once a cheater always a cheater

This is not true, however. It may be true with the same partner, but not really for the individual. It moreso means something was lacking in the relationship.

@frank 3:16
you always give an insensitive advice,who even ask for your opinion anyway,
just buzz off , LISTEN TO YOURSELF,

Yeah the best thing is for her to do is confront her husband, she should not do it violently or else it will result into the husband beating her up, she should confront the husband when he is in a happy mood not when he is angry!!!

@poster
with your friend's resolve on how to tackle the issue at hand, i wonder in what way she did manage to keep her home before the husband started to cheat. being attractive as she may be does not make her a better lover though not an excuse for a cheating husband. i don't believe violence is the best way to resolve this either.
at times like this, one should sit to go through the past weeks over and over again and see where it went wrong with a heart resolved to forgive and amend the home.

@ poster,
You really need to sit that friend of yours down and advice her to take things easy.First,is she sure that the found condom in the car belong to the husband?Second,she should find out the cause of the friction in their relationship cos she claimed that they've always had an enjoyable union.Tell her to take some of this points and others into consideration before she takes any stupid action.I wish her all the best.

[size=13pt]Topic:

And Then ? huh [/size]

She should hire or private investigator (or become a private investigator ). It's best she has proof before confronting him, else she will make a fool of herself and probably put a dent on the relationship. Go all Mrs Tiger Woods on that brother...lol