My story is really long but i assure u that u'll be happy u read it.
My Story(Part 1)

I am 23, a serving corper in Abuja. i met my ex-fiance(late february this yr) through my mom's close friend who is also his elder sister. We are all from anambra. Before me, my ex married a girl traditionally early January this yr but the girl left him d next month(feb). I was told abt the girl and what they told me was that d girl was very promiscious and thats d reason why d bride price on her head was returned. And in my place, once d middleman goes to collect d bride price on a girl, d girl automatically seizes to be d wife. The sister told me her brother was heartbroken and thats y she has decided to introduce me to him cos she knows me and my family very well and that she is sure i wont break her brother's heart. I agreed cos my mom was in full support since her prayer on my head was abt to come to pass. She has always wanted me to marry a man frm anambra and fortunately he is from the same village as us but different clan. What brought abt this was because i was born and schooled in yorubaland and all d guys she had ever seen me with were all yoruba and she was so scared that i might end up with a yoruba guy and this is part of d reason why she and my dad makes sure that they send me to d east every december (so that i can meet igbo guys) and even if they dont have d money to send me to d east, they make sure they book me on time into one of my uncles or their brothers cars so that i can join them to travel to d east.
So back to my story. My ex is a businessman in lagos but i and my parents are based in ogun state. We began talking on d phone after his elder sis sent my number to him. We liked each other and he was very nice. Then after a week, i went to lagos to see him. He was nice and was everything i wanted in a husband (so i thought), he kept saying bad things abt his ex and that she really broke his heart since she was d one who took his virginity at 34yrs. I consoled him and promised him i wont break his heart. Things kept moving smoothly as we kept seeing each other and he was happy. He told his sister and my mom that he has eventually found a good wife and i myself had to stop talking to any guy that might cause misunderstanding btw us. He planned to marry me december this yr in d east until a prophetess told him he shouldnt travel throughout this yr cos someone has planned an accident for him. So we agreed on next yr then. We are all catholics but he made me start going to this prophetess's church with him. He is presently d youth president of St Louis Catholic Parish, Egbeda, Lagos.
Things started getting bad btw us when i got my nysc posting letter and it said 'Abuja'.  He hated d idea of Abuja. He is uneducated but he lives with 3 of his frnds(who r educated) and his younger sister's son who is an apprentice to him. I was with him and his frnds when i told him i was posted to abj. His friends looked at him and told him not to allow me go to abj. There was one of his frnds who served abt 2yrs ago, he told him how girls(married and single) were being used sexually at nysc camp. He even gave instances of many girls he used during his own time. His friends kept telling him how bad abuja is and how d girls that go there become prostitutes. They all told him many bad things abt abuja and nysc camp that made him to make up his mind that i wont go to abuja.

ok.

And.....

But why do some people still think that they can find true love and hapines only when they marry from the same ethnicity? So your parents weren't even worried that he was uneducated? Because na business man abi . It is well

Reading.


Is that the end of your story?

So that exactly is the problem.

Interesting. .
Pls finish the story

My advice is that if u love ur man u should defer your service because his mind is poluted already i don't know what you ll use to proof your innocent if you go. Mind u dia ll be sometimes he ll call n u might not pick, friends speaking underneath while talking to u on fone etc. The choice is urs

OK. Following... But wait oh! Has the story finished? I thought you said we will learn something? Hmmm? Cos I haven't learnt anything yet. Or should I wait for more updates?

No new updates. Unfollowing with immediate effect

ivyy:
But why do some people still think that they can find true love and hapines only when they marry from the same ethnicity? So your parents weren't even worried that he was uneducated? Because na business man abi . It is well

if he had dangote size pockets would you care?? The only part that jolted me was living with his friends at 34 WTF??

Section8:
if he had dangote size pockets would you care?? The only part that jolted me was living with his friends at 34 WTF??

I would care. Marrying a wealthy uneducated man is no automatic passport to happiness. True companionship and communication maybe absent. Many who marry for money aren't all that happy they most times deal with issues noone can see.

Everyone knows that anything could happen in nysc camp, firtations and many other immoralities. However, Abuja is not the only place in the world where that happens. A sound individual would know and that's where his illiteracy comes out to play. Ofcourse that was just the tip of the iceberg, as it will continuously come out to play in the relationship.

ivyy:


I would care. Marrying a wealthy uneducated man is no automatic passport to happiness. True companionship and communication maybe absent. Many who marry for money aren't all that happy they most times deal with issues noone can see.

Everyone knows that anything could happen in nysc camp, firtations and many other immoralities. However, Abuja is not the only place in the world where that happens. A sound individual would know and that's where his illiteracy comes out to play. Ofcourse that was just the tip of the iceberg, as it will continuously come out to play in the relationship.

I say it doesn't matter education is a choice not a necessity as Nigerians would have you believe it is not everyone who went to school gained something or has something to show for it. Intelligence is the main mark to watch out for in such people, do you know some educated people are naturally stupid despite all the knowledge? I have seen uneducated people do what educated people can't and besides education can be attained at any time later in the future and is even sweeter when the person is not living in abject poverty.

Back to the topic I agree with you and Op she shouldn't be stopped from serving for those reasons. An intelligent person who knows what he/she is going to do wouldn't fall for such. I think his reasons bother on a matter of trust not literacy after all he hasn't known her long enough

My Story(Part 2)

I thought he was joking but he kept on saying it but i insisted that i want to go and when he noticed that i wouldnt change my mind, he stopped talking abt it. Nysc camp was to open on April 27th (batch A, stream 1), so he asked me to come to lagos so that i can buy d things i need and also so that i can go to abuja from lagos.
I went to lagos on the 24th and started buying my camp stuffs. The next day was 25th which was my birthday. In d evening of my bday, he bought things and celebrated my bday with his frnds and everyone in d house. That night, to my surprise, he brought out a beautiful ring and proposed to me. I was very happy and i accepted and we kept on celebrating into d night. When we went to bed that night, he said something shocking. He said he will like me to carry some condoms with me to camp 'in case' anything happens. He said he loves me but he doesnt want STDs! I was so angry i almost returned d engagement ring. I warned him never to say such words again to me and he apologized. He wanted sex that night but i told him that day was dangerous as i could get pregnant since that day was d begining of my 'fertile window'(day 11 after my last period). He assured me that he would take responsibility if pregnancy occurs and that i should trust him with all he has done to prove that he wants to marry me. I relaxed after hearing all that, i agreed and we made love and we slept. I travelled to abj the next day(26th).

My Story (Part 3)

At camp, there was always a problem if my phone ever goes off. I tried explaining to him that we had no source of electricity in our hostel and that we pay to charge at mammy market. There was one time my phone went off and when i charged it and switched it on, his call came in immediately and what i heard was 'u have started messing around with abuja boys right?', i got angry and ended his call. But guess what he sent me as mssg "u can go and marry abuja boys that u can cut their calls'! . i was surprised but i begged him later and we settled that. Towards d end of camp i started noticing changes in my body(especially my breasts) and i kept avoiding all parades cos i was always sleeping in d hostel. I called him and told him what i was experiencing cos i never hid anything from him. I went for a urine pregn test and it came out negative. Few days after, i was at d atm stand(where the camp commandant punished i and some other girl that were caught hiding in d hostels), i started vomiting there and i even perceived d food that was beimg cooked in d kitchen which was far away. I told those beside me that d food for that morning is yam and stew, they didnt believe me until some people went to collect their food and when we asked what was it, they told us it was yam and stew! That was when i knew something serious was wrong with me(cos i googled for pregn signs). After serving our punishment, i went to d clinic for a blood pregnancy test but to my surprise it came out negative too! It was until our passing out day that one woman saw me and told me i looked pregnant, i ignored her until many other people said d same thing and by that day i had missed my next period for 2days. I just decided to try one last time, i bought a urine pregnancy test strip at mammy market, used it and d result came out positive. Immediately, i called him and told him abt d result. He sounded somehow and said 'okay'. He wasnt too happy with d news but i ignored his behaviour at first. After passing out and gong to my PPA, i travelled back to lagos. The journey wasnt nice cos i was sick and had terrible headache throughout cos of d pregnancy. When i got to lagos, he said we hav to go for introduction at my parents' house since i am now pregnant. While talking abt introduction, he kept asking if d baby is his! I was mad at him and told him not to bother abt d introduction since he isnt sure he is d father. He asked for a scan, we went and scan said i was abt 6wks gone. We got home and he changed, he said when i giv birth to d baby, he would know if its his if d baby looks like him! He believed i got pregnant at camp. I was very pained and sad. At d end, i told my mom and his sister and he was kind of forced to do d introduction. Before he finally agreed, we had a very big fight. When he was doubting d paternity, in anger i told him not to bother doing d introduction. He picked that statement up, called my mom and his sis and told them i said he shouldnt come for introduction. Then he said he is now sure he isnt d owner of d baby since i said he shouldnt come for intriductn. My mom was angry with me and scolded me, his sister too scolded me. When i told them d reason y i told him not to bother abt d intro, they dismissed my reason and only found fault in me. I had no one to turn to. My ex began fuming and kept talking in d room, when it was getting too much, i left d room for him and went to d sitting room, he came there too and keept shouting at d top of his voice in d presence of all his frnds and apprentice, i left d sitting room and went to d verandah, he followed me and kept ranting, i left there and went to d guest room, he also came there and kept ranting, i left him there, went back to d room and he followed me and didnt stop talking. He told me to pack my bag and leave his house(it was around past 11pm). I couldnt leave that night and i forced myself to sleep. The next morning, i packed my bags and left for my parents house. As i was leaving, he was telling his friends d total amount he had spent on me so far and when his friends were telling him to calm down since i am pregnant, he said ''is it d president's baby that she is carrying? If a baby is my problem, i will adopt one". I heard this and was heartbroken. At home, my mom, my dad and his sis all came to my parents' house to settle our issue and to know y i suddenly came back from lagos.

My Story(Part 4) (the end)

They asked for my own part of what happened, i told them and they called him on d phone to say his own part. He kept talking and talking, he left d issue at hand and started saying many other things that happened in camp and in d past btw us. These were all issues i had knelt down and apologized for. He talked for like an hour over d phone, it got to d point that my dad told him to stop talking so that we could look for solution. I hav never seen a guy that talks that much. He also forwarded ALL d angry sms i had sent to him in d past each to my mom, dad and his sis phones! These were mssgs i had apologized for in d past, mssgs totally unrelated to d topic at hand. Unfortunately for me, i usually delete his angry sms from my phone immediately i read it but i never knew he saves all mine! I learnt d hard way that he is someone who likes using enough evidence to win any case. When everyone read the mssgs, everyone turned to me and scolded me. I was d one at fault. Even from my parents. I kept crying that day. They were like no matter what a man says, a woman should never reply. Thats how igbo men are revered as semi-gods in my place. Then my dad called him and asked him what he wants me to do that will make him forgiv me. He said i hav to beg him. I swallowed my pains and begged him to forgive me over d phone. Then my dad asked me what he should do too that will make me forgive him and i said he should beg too. Then my dad told him to beg me over d phone and he said he CANT beg me! He disobeyed my dad and my dad was shocked. Then my dad told him that if i am important to him, he should come to ogun state to see me. Guess what he said too, he said he wont come to ogun state and that i will be d one to come to lagos to see him! I felt terrible but my parents had no option than to tell me to go back to him in lagos cos they had no money to give me to go back to abuja. With all d shame in me, i went back to lagos, had to beg him and did everything he wanted(constant sex even with my condition) cos he was d only source of finance to me. After all that he finally came to do d introduction and few days after d introduction, i left for abuja.
Things seems normal when i got back to abuja until abt two weeks later when he started telling me to come back to lag cos he was feeling Hot. I begged him to understand my condition and that i was still recovering from d stress of d journey bk to abuja. He was angry and accused me of having another guy in abuja who was 'servicing' me. I ignored the comment cos i didnt want another fight and kept begging him until he seemed to hav agreed. A week later he told me he has called someone to send him d list of bride price payment and that i will have to come home around ending of july for bride price payment. I was happy and then told him it would also be advisable if we could do a registery marriage when i come home for d bride-price payment so that i could submit d certificate to nysc so that nysc will post me to lagos so that i can be with him permanently and also give birth there too. He agreed and called my mom to help him find out d requirements for d registery marriage. My mom did and sent him d requirements. Two days laters, he called me early in d morning to tell me he would no longer do d registry marriage. I asked him y buy he didnt hav a gud reason. It was later i learnt that he called his sis to tell him i wanted a registry marriage and his sis told him never to try it that he is dealing with an educated girl and that my plan is to take over all his property and everything he has worked for. My ex is a man who cant take decisions on his own, he would either call his sister or a friend to confirm before deciding and he always takes a third party advice. The only decision he takes alone is on his business. I felt bad abt his change of mind and i told him i wont come home if he doesnt want to do d registry marriage too since i cant keep passing through d stress of travelling. He got angry and didnt call me for days, i refused to call him too. I didnt know he took it too far cos he stopped sending me money for i and d baby's upkeep. Abt few weeks after, i got a shocking text frm him. The text read(in his own words): "I thought u mean to be my own, i never knew dat u are not. If u say d child u are carrying is my, i will come and take it later. 'For marriage, i can never marry u". Those were d exact words he used. D mssg is still saved in my security inbox up till now. I called my mom and told her abt d mssg and all she could say was that i should call him and beg him. I made up my mind that i wont keep begging cos if i keep begging him, i will have to keep begging for d rest of my life with him. As days went by i kept waiting for him to call and apologize for such text and i was already 3months gone. Few days after my scan, he called my dad and my people in d village to tell them he is no longer interested in d marriage and that he isnt responsible for d pregnancy! My whole life shattered that period. Then i made up my mind to go for an abortion cos i know being a single mom in my place is like an abomination cos no one marries them expect a divorcee or old men and my future will never remain d way i planned it. I went for d abortion last week thursday and i am still recovering from d body pains. It was a tough decision but i had to do it and everyday i keep begging God for forgiveness cos it wasnt intentional. For those that will blame me for d abortion, how many of u will agree to marry a single mom? Up till now he hasnt called. Thanks for ur patience.

Faustinalove, Abortion wasn't the solution. However, the deed has been done already.

I hope you have learnt enough not to make same mistake(s) next time.

- Do not marry someone who isn't exposed. Exposure doesn't mean education. Some non-educated guys are more exposed than educated ones.

- You are the one getting married, not your family. So, choose wisely. Eveyone boes back home after the ceremony, you are left with the man,

day and night to deal with.

- Do not allow any man pressure you into having sex (Obviously the reason for the pregnancy in question)

- I have always maintained that you should only engage in sex when you are married. ENGAGEMENT IS NOT EQUAL TO MARRIAGE.

- Don't be overly dependent on any man financially. He will make himself a god in your life. Instead trust God to provide your needs.

And YES, some guys like me don't mind marrying a single mother If she is the one for us .

Hmmm! Ferdyboss!

Jamean:
Hmmm! Ferdyboss!

Hi Mej.

Sorry such is life,take heart.

Ferdyboss:


Hi Mej.

How you dey?

I'm sorry for what's happening to you, I don't think aborting the baby was a better thing to do but the damage has been done already. I urge you to move close to Christ at this point of your life coz that's what you need most presently. Forget about what happened and repackage yourself, possibly create a better you. please next time don't agree to pressures from your parents marrying a man from your state as the case may be, ask God for directions first coz you would have ended up with a man that's not wise in taking decisions. judging from your story sha...shalom

Jamean:


How you dey?

Fine.....Make we no derail the thread. You code na

I love this

LESSONS FROM THE NARRATION:

1. Do not let tribal sentiments becloud your marriage decision.............Be open to marry someone that is divinely appointed for you, even if he's from Sambisa.

2. An educated person and a stack illiterate relationship can NEVER work.....even if the illiterate is as rich as Bill Gate....

3. Do not let your parents determine your happiness.........they are our parents, yes, but they are not our God.

4. Never rush to marry a divorcee........there is a likelihood that the other person left cos of the divorcee's intolerance

5. Ladies.....always use your head in a relationship and not your heart always.....unprotected sex with someone who is not ur husband will put you in a dangerous position. If he doesn't like Condom, he should pay the bride price so he could have it raw.

6. Financial Insecurity..........Do not let your present condition threaten your future decision, the fact that you are broke to day does not mean you'll always be broke. It is not even a crime to be broke.

7. Marriage fever............Do not let anybody force you to getting married, there is never a late time to get married. Everybody has his/her own time....It is better to be late and happy than early and sad.....

My advice to ladies if dey wld listen,leave dis undecated business men alone,dia brain was made in mozambique,sowie dear 4all d stress...

I read with so much pain in my heart.
Though, I've learnt what I should learn from your story. But it is really painful what you went through.
Above all, your Parents caused all that happened to you; but I am convinced that you've learnt yout lessons though the hard way.
Just be prayerful, patient, loving and reserved, your desired man won't pass you bye.

Headlesschicken:
My advice to ladies if dey wld listen,leave dis undecated business men alone,dia brain was made in mozambique,sowie dear 4all d stress...

Thank u. i am grateful.

misspicy:
woman haf suffered

Lesson learnt:strive hard to be an independent woman,and no man,whether educated or illiterate will treat you rashly... Lesson 201. My mum hammered that even on her death bed

happy wknd.

misspicy:
woman haf suffered

Lesson learnt:strive hard to be an independent woman,and no man,whether educated or illiterate will treat you rashly... Lesson 201. My mum hammered that even on her death bed

Madam spicy... okay O

sonOfLucifer:
happy wknd.

same dear
Hi