Marcan:

Why will a girl own a car at school in the first place ?

Chepy1:

Thanks dear, I've collected the car from her and split are allowance to two. She's angry but I think its best for her...Thanks for your advice

Chepy1:
Hello guys
I have a sis who is about 22 years old, schools in a private university. She lives alone off her school campus but a friend of hers stays with her, she own a car which is less than six months that she uses for school runs and other social activity. She called me a couple of minutes ago saying she had mistakenly crashed the car against the fence of her building and she needed me to get it repaired. But the truth about it according to what a friend of mine who studies in her in school told me was that she is seeing a particular guy, who she recklessly spends on, and it was he who damaged the car and not my sis..... I plan on paying her a visit tomorrow at school.... The question here is should I strip her completely of all the benefits she enjoys or talk to her about the guy who she is allegedly dating

Chepy1:

For her school runs because she lives off school campus

Onegai:


Take the car away from her temporarily, under the pretext of fixing it. Sit her down and gist with her: share some of your romantic escapades, bring up some of your friends and tell her about some you read on NL. Infact, let me give you 2 stories that come to mind:

A girl had a thread where she was dating some guy who used to live off her financially. It got so bad that the loser even asked her to give him the N50k her dad have her to buy a laptop for school, so he could further his (non-existent) music career. He kept trying to make her feel guilty (she added screengrabs of their convo).

Someone mentioned how a girl was dating a guy and he took her car and drove it around whilst she took public transport. He refused to return it after they broke up and he had an accident and destroyed the car. He sent her back the wreck and moved on to the next available mugu.

Work those stories casually into your conversation. Tell her that unfortunately there are digusting people who prey on men and women for financial comfort. Tell her that when any situation looks bad, people involved are not honest with themselves and see themselves as the exceptions, rather than the rules. Remind her gently that an honest man may need her support from time to time but he will never make her uncomfortable so he can sit down in comfort. That you are her brother and a man and you got her a car to make her comfy. Gently mention that an honest man will have no qualms introducing himself to her brother as her bobo.

Leave the conversation at that and listen to what she says. Keep the car for 3 months and cut down her allowance (tell her things are tight). That should get rid of anybody scrounging off her.

You may think it is a long method but i have come to appreciate the fact that we humans don't always like the truth giving to us bluntly and head-on. We will scream and fight to defend our point of view. But a careful and gentle nudge in the right direction will work wonders much better.

Chepy1:

Yea...Its the first time tho, but the fear I have is that she could continue spending on the guy she's dating and keep demanding for money every now and then.

Chepy1:
Hello guys
I have a sis who is about 22 years old, schools in a private university. She lives alone off her school campus but a friend of hers stays with her, she own a car which is less than six months that she uses for school runs and other social activity. She called me a couple of minutes ago saying she had mistakenly crashed the car against the fence of her building and she needed me to get it repaired. But the truth about it according to what a friend of mine who studies in her in school told me was that she is seeing a particular guy, who she recklessly spends on, and it was he who damaged the car and not my sis..... I plan on paying her a visit tomorrow at school.... The question here is should I strip her completely of all the benefits she enjoys or talk to her about the guy who she is allegedly dating

Chepy1:

Thanks dear, I've collected the car from her and split are allowance to two. She's angry but I think its best for her...Thanks for your advice

Chepy1:
Me bro

Chepy1:
Hello guys
I have a sis who is about 22 years old, schools in a private university. She lives alone off her school campus but a friend of hers stays with her, she own a car which is less than six months that she uses for school runs and other social activity. She called me a couple of minutes ago saying she had mistakenly crashed the car against the fence of her building and she needed me to get it repaired. But the truth about it according to what a friend of mine who studies in her in school told me was that she is seeing a particular guy, who she recklessly spends on, and it was he who damaged the car and not my sis..... I plan on paying her a visit tomorrow at school.... The question here is should I strip her completely of all the benefits she enjoys or talk to her about the guy who she is allegedly dating

Chepy1:
Hello guys
I have a sis who is about 22 years old, schools in a private university. She lives alone off her school campus but a friend of hers stays with her, she own a car which is less than six months that she uses for school runs and other social activity. She called me a couple of minutes ago saying she had mistakenly crashed the car against the fence of her building and she needed me to get it repaired. But the truth about it according to what a friend of mine who studies in her in school told me was that she is seeing a particular guy, who she recklessly spends on, and it was he who damaged the car and not my sis..... I plan on paying her a visit tomorrow at school.... The question here is should I strip her completely of all the benefits she enjoys or talk to her about the guy who she is allegedly dating