Disclaimer : This thread doesn’t promote reckless drinking, if you must drive do not drink and if you must drink do not drive. Even if you do not care about your life you could be endangering the lives of others.


Drink Responsibly!

1. The Emotional : Alcohol is indeed not for everyone and these folks are topping that list. The evening is going well and everyone is busy sipping their drinks, while having a great chat or watching that exciting EPL game and then suddenly the alcohol takes over these folks and they become crybabies.

They say alcohol makes you forget all your problems, apparently it makes these folks remember how terrible life has been to them, all the heart breaks, unpaid rents, medical issues and whatnots. You would end up consoling these folks the entire night.


2. The Alter-ego : If it’s your first time with this folk, you are in for a good surprise. Freddy takes a couple of beers and pooof!! He is gone and all you are left with is Jason his alter-ego.

Yeah these folks would make you almost doubt their sanity as they would reveal their other half which is usually a complete opposite of their true nature. They would say things that are rather difficult to comprehend or often times meaningless and the mysterious part is that when they sleep and wake up the next day, they have no memories whatsoever of the entire event.


3. The Talkative : The Orators!... These ones should be giving a life ban from alcohol. They are mostly extroverts and sometimes even introverts but after a few bottles they become Eminem, dropping 100words in 16 seconds.

These folks can’t keep no secret, as a matter of fact if you confide in them, it only takes a few bottles for them to spill all you told them in private to a bunch of strangers or worse still that very person you have been keeping the secret from.

They are amazing storytellers with a long list of never-ending stories to tell. The only time they get to be quiet is when they finally doze off once they hit the sheets.



4. The Apologetic : These ones are usually conscious of their alcohol consumption as they always want to be in full control of their mind and body, however occasionally they go overboard a little and end up apologizing for every single thing they do during that period blaming it on the alcohol.

They are so polite even when they are barely drunk and you would hear them say things like “I am so sorry; I am yelling right? Gosh I have had too much to drink” . If you find yourself dating folks like this, they are for keeps! They usually have boundaries and standards and wouldn’t intentionally go outside them.


5. The Overconfident : They are quite similar to the apologetic as they also want to be in full control of their mind and body, however after a couple of bottles and they are litt up! Eyes red and sight blurry which makes it difficult to read facial expressions hence boosting their self confidence.

These folks can walk up to the President’s wife and woo her if given the chance. They suddenly become hyperactive and fearless. If only the FG can bundle a bunch of these folks, get them high and give them riffles, Boko Haram would be history.



6. The Vagabond : If you happen to be around folks like this for the first time, then you are in deep soup...lol. After a few drinks, they take off to the loo and never return.

Apparently once they get up, they find themselves in the “Matrix” and are busy fighting “Agent Smith” or in some fictional world like “Alice in wonderland”. These folks never learn their lesson despite waking up in strange places.

If you find yourself dating a guy like this, it’s only a matter of time before you start having high blood pressure. If as a guy you find yourself dating a lady like this, be rest assured her panties would always be missing...lol


7. The Sleeper : These ones gat no time for drama! Lol... Once they get high it’s only a matter of time before you hear them snoring like pigs. The good thing is that you don’t get to gather a search party to start looking for them like you would for “the vagabonds”.

Folks like this usually go drinking with friends so you are sure they wouldn’t spend the night sleeping wherever they get high.
[img]http://media.gettyimages.com/photos/drunk-young-man-sleeping-in-a-bar-picture-id477569754?k=6&m=477569754&s=170667a&w=0&h=QK8Pm62zTURGdQM7ToUhtlOfEpd81WCIG_DEL4oLX7E=[/img]


8. The Dancer : These folks are absolutely remarkable. Alcohol literally brings out the star in them. Just after a few bottles of their favorite beer or spirit and the DJ drops Pana-Tekno, Bam!!! they are on their feet’s jamming to the beat like nobody else.

They would invent dance moves that are yet to be seen and can dance from Naija to the North pole and back. Dating folks like this can be fun! Sometimes they give you the best night of your life with great dancing and laughter.


9. The Newbie : AKA Follow Follow, OverSabi, etc…..These folks don’t usually drink but their ego and pride wouldn’t let them say No in public. They are quick to open the bottle of Cîroc and mix it with some Hennessy and any other brand available.

They are totally oblivious of the alcohol percentage and gulp down their entire cup within a few seconds like it’s a cup of coconut water or smoothie . Within a couple of minutes, they would lose total control of their bodies and start acting like they've got Parkinson’s disease.

Folks who fall in this category are more concerned with how others see them and would rather live their lives based on the standards of others.
[img]http://images.memes.com/meme/737358[/img]

10. The Brewery : The professional drinkers! The functional alcoholics! These folks can empty an entire GP tank filled with Booze and wouldn’t flinch.

They are the proverbial “Oliver twist”, always wanting more booze. They say the body is made up of 70% water but in their case its 70% of Kparaga, kai-kai, Sun gbalaja, Burukutu and the likes.

Their body is so in tune with alcohol that they can get depressed and go “cold turkey” if they are deprived of it for days! If you happen to date a Guy who is a brewery, chances are he would invest more in the bottle than you or your future kids combined.

If as a guy you find a lady who happens to be a brewery, there are two things involved its either she wrecks you or you end up running a beer palour & peppersoup joint with her.
[img]http://cdn.meme.am/instances/500x/53657182.jpg[/img]

So which category do you fall in? And tag that Nairalander who is on this list. Don't forget to add yours to the list also

Smellymouth:
www.nairaland.com/attachments/4152809_img20150928080319editedit_jpeg2aaeadb2fa09681d66293cf0e097f3df



Shayo na basterd sha..

Seen this Joke before but it gets me anytime i see it again...ROTLF

Muvacci:
I must confess, I didn't read this shxt.

Didn't expect everyone to, at least not those with bibliophobia. Thanks for dropping by tho.

toposi4naija:
As in....

The Op expects people to read this epistle??....

Actually this epistle isn't for everyone. Its for those with a highly developed sense of humour.

Cheers!

Deejavuu:
I know someone that's 4 and 5. . Dj plays soft work by Falz, then add 8.


DRINK , BUT DON'T GET DRUNK.

You know someone or you are that "someone"

naija1stpikin:
team number 10

Omuti of laiv!

kinglekan:


You know someone or you are that "someone"




Omuti of laiv!

wetin e mean?

naija1stpikin:
wetin e mean?

iz just a johking stuv!

kinglekan:


iz just a johking stuv!

i don't understnd d yuruba

kinglekan:


You know someone or you are that "someone"




Omuti of laiv!