As conducted by a psychotherapist who specializes in emotions, she discovered that some men channel their need for love, intimacy, soothing, care, and comfort into sexual desire.

Here are some examples:


Mike wants sex when he feels sad because he likes the comfort the physical holding provides. Mike, like most people, wants to be held when he is sad. In fact, the need to be held when we feel sad is biologically programmed into our brains.

Jonathan wants sex when he’s lonely. He believes it is weak to let someone know that he feels lonely and wants company. Alternatively, he thinks it is acceptable to find and ask for sex, which satisfies his need for human connection.

Sexual excitement is a core emotion. And, as we know from research on emotions, each core emotion has a “program” that has evolved over thousands of years for survival purposes. This “program” causes specific physical sensations and impulses to arise inside us at the moment when a particular emotion is triggered.

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