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The Cyber Lover (Published) - Literature (1) - Nairaland

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Re: The Cyber Lover (Published) by maedan(f): 7:54pm On Oct 12, 2009
@frank 3.16,
Finally got round to finishing it. I like the way you are taking your time, though some would have preferred you summarize it for the benefit of the thread. But I don't mind your pace, it reads just like a real book should. I really enjoy the human angles to the romantic section(Michael, Brenda and co.) and then the Nimrod section is good too.

Take your time and make it work, it's really worth the time it took for me to finish reading it wink.
Re: The Cyber Lover (Published) by frank3.16: 2:09pm On Oct 13, 2009
Thnks very much for reading the story. i feel bad that i have to make people undergo the pain of reading such a long story, becasue the story is actually long. but i promise anyone that follows me to the end that he/she will never regret it.

thanks for your patience and interest, right now i think you are only one motivating me to post this story here. if i keep on getting no reponse i might want to upload it to your box when i am through. thanks.

its just that i have a lot of stories, i just need to see what people will think about just one, the i will know how to encourage myself.
Re: The Cyber Lover (Published) by frank3.16: 2:09pm On Oct 13, 2009
published
Re: The Cyber Lover (Published) by frank3.16: 2:16pm On Oct 13, 2009
published

1 Like

Re: The Cyber Lover (Published) by frank3.16: 2:26pm On Oct 13, 2009
published
Re: The Cyber Lover (Published) by maedan(f): 3:13pm On Oct 13, 2009
@frank 3.16


u don't have to get discouraged. People actually might be reading ur story but can't be bothered to post their views. I was just very impressed with the way u started and the sensitivity in your writing style especially when handling the romance areas. I would love to have the whole book cheesy grin to read, but if you prefer, I could follow ur progress on NL.

Either way I'm sure it would be an enjoyable ride. Cheers cool.
Re: The Cyber Lover (Published) by frank3.16: 7:44pm On Oct 13, 2009
published
Re: The Cyber Lover (Published) by frank3.16: 7:55pm On Oct 13, 2009
published

1 Like

Re: The Cyber Lover (Published) by Atreus(f): 9:04pm On Oct 13, 2009
This is nice. I haven't finished reading it,but it's nice.
Re: The Cyber Lover (Published) by rayzbay(f): 10:17pm On Oct 13, 2009
nice story
Re: The Cyber Lover (Published) by frank3.16: 9:29am On Oct 14, 2009
Thanks guy. I really apoloise for such along post. but just take your time to read it, and i need criticizm, i mean is there a scene in this story that is irelvant? is there something that you guys think is out of place? are the dialogues flowing?

About grammatical error, i really don't want that to bother me now cos it will slow my pace.
Re: The Cyber Lover (Published) by frank3.16: 4:05pm On Oct 14, 2009
published

1 Like

Re: The Cyber Lover (Published) by frank3.16: 4:20pm On Oct 14, 2009
published

1 Like

Re: The Cyber Lover (Published) by frank3.16: 7:31pm On Oct 15, 2009
published
Re: The Cyber Lover (Published) by bluespice(f): 8:56pm On Oct 15, 2009
i love the twist of weird00 cheesy
Re: The Cyber Lover (Published) by maedan(f): 7:32am On Oct 16, 2009
@frank 3.16

I'm thinking of printing this stuff out on paper so I can enjoy it like it's the real thing (ie book). It's that good and I want to enjoy it. Hope you wouldn't mind??
Re: The Cyber Lover (Published) by frank3.16: 9:55am On Oct 16, 2009
maedan:

@frank 3.16

I'm thinking of printing this stuff out on paper so I can enjoy it like it's the real thing (ie book). It's that good and I want to enjoy it. Hope you wouldn't mind??

Yes you can. my soul desire is for you to enjoy my write up and make sure u give me feed back. i am not getting much feed back and it is begining to worry me. No critisicm, not much people seem to be showing interest. does it mean my write up is boring? i have written better stories but no one has ever read it.

yes i know it is long but readaing the posts i send daily wont take more than fifteen minutes.

Please i ecourage all my readers to continue reading. the twist of Weird_000 is exactly where the story becomes intersting. i will love u to see how i entwined weird_000, Brenda, Michael, Nimrod and Brenda's past three lovers together
Re: The Cyber Lover (Published) by maedan(f): 10:38am On Oct 16, 2009
@frank 3.16
You've written better stuff! Then I'd like to see it!! That's cool but don't you mind about the lack of comments etc. It's been said that this section of NL is far from popular, so only the die-hards like me keep a look out for things like stories. I haven't read much of Nigerian writing in a long while so I come here for my fix grin. Your story is very refreshing and I would enjoy it more if it was on a printed page. And now with your permission I'll have it on paper and read it with glee wink grin.
Re: The Cyber Lover (Published) by frank3.16: 7:24pm On Oct 16, 2009
published
Re: The Cyber Lover (Published) by frank3.16: 7:33pm On Oct 16, 2009
published
Re: The Cyber Lover (Published) by bluespice(f): 1:09am On Oct 17, 2009
ooooh im loving it im getting ideas cheesy
Re: The Cyber Lover (Published) by ravenzord(m): 10:05am On Oct 17, 2009
Mehn. . .dt Weird guy is fcukin weird,creeping me out.
Re: The Cyber Lover (Published) by Myne White(f): 4:54pm On Oct 17, 2009
Now we have gotten to the creepy cyber lover stage. Hmmmm,

Frank3.16, please don't allow the shortage of comments to affect you. The fact is none of us are professional critics and maybe the best feedback is that people continue to read. If it's really bad, they would say so or not read at all.

Also, reading in bits sometimes mean that we miss some inconsistencies in plot or time line. But your story is very good and I like the twist too.

Well done.
Re: The Cyber Lover (Published) by igbo-boy(m): 6:11pm On Oct 17, 2009
Well, Frank 3.16, Your story is alright. However, you have asked for criticism. I will grant your wish BUT I will be harsh as well as frank with you. I pray that you understand that my beef is with the loopholes in your tale AND NOT with you. Everything that i say here is subject to controversy
Here Goes,
I feel that your story is TOO PLAIN. I want you to thrill me with some comedy,romance or horror. Hang me in suspense when you are writing. It won't matter if your story is too long once it is captivation. I wonder if you have read the Harry Potter series; J.K Rowling keeps her story spicy. Every paragraph has to be grasping. Some Nairalanders may have read your story and found it too long but look at the size of Harry Potter 5 and imagine people(me included) reading that kind of book twice or thrice just b'cos it tingles the imagination. Don't Just fill your story with plain drama; that might make a good movie BUT NOT a good book.

I think that you BOMBARD US WITH TOO MUCH INFORMATION. This is the problem with writing from an omniscient point of view; the readers know everything. For instance, you should not have told us that Brenda asked Michael whether he was the Cyber Lover(this might make us think that Michael is the cyber lover) . Deceive us for a while(Deception is a part of suspense). You could have written a part of the tale from Weird 000'S point of view. You have a good eye for detail but if you overload us with information, you make the story too bogus and painful to read. You also kill the suspense.

Anyway, my time is almost up and I have to go but I have to say that I am impressed with the Weird 000 concept. I mean, how can someone know the colour of a lady's underwear? That's explosive. Kudos for that. Keep writing. I thank God that Writers' Block has not caught with you. May you never get infected in Jesus name. Amen smiley
Re: The Cyber Lover (Published) by frank3.16: 8:23pm On Oct 17, 2009
igbo-boy:

Well, Frank 3.16, Your story is alright. However, you have asked for criticism. I will grant your wish BUT I will be harsh as well as frank with you. I pray that you understand that my beef is with the loopholes in your tale AND NOT with you. Everything that i say here is subject to controversy
Here Goes,
I feel that your story is TOO PLAIN. I want you to thrill me with some comedy,romance or horror. Hang me in suspense when you are writing. It won't matter if your story is too long once it is captivation. I wonder if you have read the Harry Potter series; J.K Rowling keeps her story spicy. Every paragraph has to be grasping. Some Nairalanders may have read your story and found it too long but look at the size of Harry Potter 5 and imagine people(me included) reading that kind of book twice or thrice just b'cos it tingles the imagination. Don't Just fill your story with plain drama; that might make a good movie BUT NOT a good book.

I think that you BOMBARD US WITH TOO MUCH INFORMATION. This is the problem with writing from an omniscient point of view; the readers know everything. For instance, you should not have told us that Brenda asked Michael whether he was the Cyber Lover(this might make us think that Michael is the cyber lover) . Deceive us for a while(Deception is a part of suspense). You could have written a part of the tale from Weird 000'S point of view. You have a good eye for detail but if you overload us with information, you make the story too bogus and painful to read. You also kill the suspense.
Anyway, my time is almost up and I have to go but I have to say that I am impressed with the Weird 000 concept. I mean, how can someone know the colour of a lady's underwear? That's explosive. Kudos for that. Keep writing. I thank God that Writers' Block has not caught with you. May you never get infected in Jesus name. Amen smiley

thanks man for your honesty. its just like you have just taken the scale out of my eyes. Suspence, that the word. do you know i have been feeling that something was missing. most times we are so passionate about our stories that we miss such details. i will try and keep the beat faster. but i think there is more suspence on the way.
Re: The Cyber Lover (Published) by frank3.16: 8:30pm On Oct 17, 2009
published
Re: The Cyber Lover (Published) by frank3.16: 8:41pm On Oct 17, 2009
published
Re: The Cyber Lover (Published) by ginky(f): 11:12pm On Oct 17, 2009
Frank, you are such a good writer. You were right when you said that this section is not very popular. I had been a part     
of Nairaland for sometime but never felt I should come to the literature/writing section.
  It's people like you that get people loke me interested in this section. Infact, I have taken note of 4 writers on this section: You, Atreus, Maedan and Aslan. You guys are really trying.

      As for criticism, I agree with what Igbo boy said that you should add suspense.
         You are really good. I don't want Brenda to be with the weird guy{Cain). I know he's sincere but I really want her to be with Mike. Anyway, continue with your story. NOT TOO MUCH SUSPENSE BEFORE I START HAVING NIGHTMARES. I have already started dreaming.

I don't mind you sending me the rest of the story to my email if you're feeling discouraged though I don't pray for it.
Re: The Cyber Lover (Published) by bluespice(f): 12:00pm On Oct 19, 2009
i swear i think i know who weird is tongue
Re: The Cyber Lover (Published) by frank3.16: 2:25pm On Oct 19, 2009
bluespice:

i swear i think i know who weird is tongue

you think you do? ok, make a guess
Re: The Cyber Lover (Published) by frank3.16: 6:10pm On Oct 19, 2009
published

1 Like

Re: The Cyber Lover (Published) by adebayo201(m): 8:19pm On Oct 19, 2009
undecided undecided undecided undecided angry angry angry

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