letsbet:
I'd suggest you leave educational materials like magazines, pamplets, books or tapes talking about the ills and effects of porn randomly around the house. That may help if you dont feel comfortable discussing the issue with him face to face.



I wish you scale through this successfully and joy comes back to ur family.

letsbet:
I'd suggest you leave educational materials like magazines, pamplets, books or tapes talking about the ills and effects of porn randomly around the house. That may help if you dont feel comfortable discussing the issue with him face to face.



I wish you scale through this successfully and joy comes back to ur family.

thorpido:
He is addicted to porn.
You need to have a talk with him on the effects which will ultimately lead to cheating.Let him cooperate with you to overcome the addiction.
There are ways to overcome porn addiction and he should be ready to go through the process.

iPrevail:
OP.. How crazy are you in bed?

It's not a stupid question. I know exactly why I'm asking

addiction12:
Good day good people of Nairaland. I got married 3 years ago thinking he is the best thing that has ever happened to me. my husband is calm, easy going, no alcohol or too much friends and also very devoted. I discovered recently that he has a lady on Facebook he normally have an erotic chat with which am not comfortable with. three weeks ago I decided to open an account on Facebook and added him just for me to divert his attention from this lady but was shocked to see the level at which my husband can go while online by sending me a picture of his manhood. I was speechless, he has beginning to lie to me that he got a contract in Abuja and that he is going next wkend for inspection of which I was the one who invited him with my fake account. mothers, sisters or even fathers and uncles on this forum pls help me save my marriage, he told me he his addicted to porn which I never noticed in him. how can I stop him and should I stop the chat with him?

addiction12:
am not crazy but not weak sexually.

addiction12:
tnx for your consideration. process like what?

CrazyQuinn:
you can't stop it or change him, the only way to save your marriage is to love him for who he is and accept his flaws he's flaws might also be use

iPrevail:


Okay.. I think we've found our problem.
Your hubby may be a very sexually active person with lots of fantasies.. And you may not be satisfying him in that aspect.

A man may never cheat on you if having sex with you is something he craves like breakfast.

That said, talk to your man. Don't be scared to approach him.. Get kinky with him sometimes and tell him you love him. Don't be afraid to go freaky if you have to.

If you don't, some Facebook girl will.

Onegai:
Porn is not something anyone should consume. It is unhealthy. It is not attractive, no-one filming it thinks it is sexy, it is a fantasy and not really a good one. Let me paint a vivid picture for you:

Everyone, crew and cast come to set (someone's house). Whilst crew is putting up lights and rigs, sound is checking his boom (big mike) and director is talking to actors (who probably just met that day). There's no where to change they just go to one corner and remove cloth and if the actors are smart, they will carry their own bathrobe and slippers to be wearing around. The male actors take pills to keep that "stuff" up and most times he barely talks to the woman (they just met and this is a job). Makeup covers the actors bodies with foundation and powder (even their bumbums are powdered so it won't shine on camera and they have to cover boob surgery cuts, weird offensive tattoos, cellulite from eating too much bread, drug usage wounds because a lot of porn actors use drugs) and also mix the "money shot" liquid (oh, did boys think all that was real and natural?) They get on set and decide on condom usage (most directors don't like it because it doesn't sell well). They shoot, take breaks of upto 1 hour to change lights and soundproof and the man has to keep that stuff hard all through that (because they rented the lights and cameras and wasting time costs money and if any actor causes delay no-one will work with them). So everyone has to be ready once the director calls them. No "abeg let me try and get it up". But if he needs to, there's a prosthetic on standby that looks bigger that can be held by the man. By the way, females are paid higher than men and a lot of men tend to work in gay porn (which pays them higher). Now, for all those close-up shots, the camera man has to kneel down in between the legs of the actors and point the camera upwards, which is why you get scenes like man and woman standing and lifting one leg (they are trying to get a better shot). Try holding yourself in that position for 15 minutes without getting a painful cramp.

So, does this sound sexy? Why are you watching something so uncomfortable and why do we keep telling women to watch it? How does this improve life, how can any person throw away their marriage over something even the performers are only doing to get paid to pay for a mortgage on their house? How??

OP, show your husband what I typed. Tell him I got that info from people who work in the industry (even photogs in Nigeria exist who shot this and they will prefer shooting your average housewife than a stripper because strippers have dead eyes and frankly don't do well on camera). But it is NOT a glamourous job and they love-vendor their models out to politicians and rich men.

Now, for the cheating, calmly confront your husband. Tell him that if he is willing to risk his life for something so tawdry with a random stranger who can infect him with anything or even set him up and kill him, he is an adult but you will not be part of it. Tell him his fantasies are built on lies and it is better you and he stay in bed and figure out what really works than to be jumping like a housefly from poop to poop, never satisfied. And that if in this economy he is willing to spend much-needed, scarce money to fly and lodge in Abuja to meet up with a random stranger for an encounter that he will forget before 40, then you must question your own judgement in marrying him. Ask him to be a Man (not all these boys parading as men). And focus on what is important. Be calm when saying this.

addiction12:
thank you so much for this. but should I continue chating with him under my fake account?

Richy4:
You can use some acting skills to get your man back...

The title of your acting will be called getting my man back or Emotional blackmail....

So this is how it will play out....

Seriously look sober one Saturday morning, Do all the domestic chores, carry out the daily activities as usual. .. But act like the world will end on Sunday and your father in law has already promised u BMW X6 2016 model on Monday.... u get the mood right? correct...

Then as a loving husband, he will ask u what the matter is, Then u burst into tears....Real tears oo
Within those tears, u ask him.. have i denied u anything .... He will say no, am i so ugly,...Do i bore you in bed.... If all the answers are no, then ask him why he was doing all these to you and the marriage...proceed to tell him about the FB account u created etc...

Cry more and more... within your cry, keep saying I love u.. God knows I love u.. etc...I have done every thing to make this work....If i have done anything wrong u are my husband, we are on this together u tell me...

If he is someone like me that hated tears,... it will reduce his online behavior.... at least he will think twice before he add another famale...

oh!! u have to be good to execute this..and if it worked, remember to come to me and pay your tithe...

ronald4lif:
All ye women who go and set up new Facebook profiles using pretty and seductive women pictures are idiots. You lead a man on and show interest in his chats flaunting your "assets" and expects him not to react positively because he's married? Please next time employ the services of a pretty babe to seduce him so you can determine if he won't cheat on you. Nonsense!

I blame the silly man you married sha, to not have gone through the fake profile to see how new/old it is and know that for a relatively new account to be receptive to his flirts is a red flag.

byvan03:
Richy's advise will make you appear really pathetic but try it sha, who knows.

ronald4lif:
All ye women who go and set up new Facebook profiles using pretty and seductive women pictures are idiots. You lead a man on and show interest in his chats flaunting your "assets" and expects him not to react positively because he's married? Please next time employ the services of a pretty babe to seduce him so you can determine if he won't cheat on you. Nonsense!

I blame the silly man you married sha, to not have gone through the fake profile to see how new/old it is and know that for a relatively new account to be receptive to his flirts is a red flag.

addiction12:
before criticising kindly read the reason for d fake account. I only did it to divert his attention from a lady whom I knew has been having intimate chat with my husband. I ll do anything to save my marriage cos I love him and I know he loves me too.

byvan03:
Richy's advise will make you appear really pathetic but try it sha, who knows.

Mindfulness:


I would love to know how it plays out.