Well Well Well. That's lengthy but I think you are dealing with a woman who is either exhausted or doesn't respect you. The most important thing you did which shows you are a real man is that you didn't put your hands on her. I think the best thing to do is to ask her why she did that and also find out from her if she is still interested in your marriage before 'sending her to Nigeria'. As a married man, I have learnt that communication is very helpful. I know when my wife is stressed and try very hard to avoid being confrontational with her during that time.

Marriage is filled with many ups and down bro. If you really love her, get her to know how you feel about the whole thing, but most importantly, let her to know that you love her, if you still do. Walking away was your best option. Good Luck!

you think you in nigeria where you can turn your wife to punch bag? are you looking for likes or you just plain stupid? i think its safe to say majority of guys here are still in diapers!

thekingisback:
A slap or two is definitely the solution. If you're not willing to do that, then I'll suggest you give her the silent treatment.

Bros your wife needed a very good sex and you lost it all. try work on your sex life bro. you must be romanctic and shot her mouth thereby making her smile and call you daddy. be the man you are and stop playing fifa 16

nameerfhtennek:
It's more than 20minutes, I'm still unable to put words together to begin this story. I will try keep it simple and necessarily detailed so everyone will understand the true picture of what happened, why against my belief that writing personal experiences on social media is immature, I had to still write mine. Let's just say I'm not thinking right now, maybe I'm so upset but truth is, I need your advice.

I'm writing this thread seated at the back of a Hilux truck just outside our apartment. Yaa, that me in the picture. You see, today is EID and believe me I should be resting in the house since I'm not working today. Days like this only come by 6times in a whole year and more than anything, I would have loved resting than being out here.

It was yesterday evening, she called and said she her driver were headed to my office. She wanted to pick some stuffs around my office. Yaa, I forgot to say this is Saudi Arabia. If you know Saudi quite well, you will agree with me that a husband will definitely get exhausted running errands for his wife or the family. I was not in the mood for shopping but she wanted to shop. She got upset that I didn't want to accompany her shopping.

She did her shopping alone and returned few minutes before I closed from work. We headed home. Unknown to me, I forgot my internet router in my office because I was rushing to get home and continue with my FIFA 16.
Her internet service expired some days back so we were using mine.

While playing game, she walked into the seating room and demanded for my router. Mine, not hers. With her tone and facial expression demanding the router, I didn't respond because there was an indication that she was warming up for a quarrel. I wasn't just in the mood. The thing is, she is very skilled in extending her anger phases. That is one thing I can't understand till today. Believe me, it was not like this while we were dating. Sorry, I forgot to tell you I married my university girlfriend, she years my junior and the same department. Ya, I'm one of those guys that dated and planned for the future with their girls at the same time. God blessed that plan but at this point I don't understand everything that has been happening for the past one year plus since we got married. She repeatedly demanded that I handed over my router to her but I was quiet. Meanwhile, it occurred to me that I forgot the router in my office the minute she first asked about it. Truth is, I actually needed to use the internet that night for my online FIFA.

After several times of asking for the router and no response from me, she took the TV remote and switched off the TV. She walked straight to the kitchen and hid the remote. I approached her in the kitchen and told her I was not ready for any kinda quarrel. We have had enough for the past one year of getting married. I then told her I forgot the router in my office, I didn't have it. I guess she didn't believe me, she never did. She told me to leave her alone. I returned back to the seating room with my heart beating fast. I knew she wanted a serious quarrel that night. After some minutes, I returned to the kitchen and requested for the remote. Then I figured out she hid it in her pant. Pretending I was passing by, I swiftly went for the remote from under her short gown and grabbed it. She didn't expect I knew where she hid it. She followed me behind and ceased the game console, second indication she wanted me to react. I do have a problem with my temper just like every human, male or female. I have also learnt to deal with it by walking away at times I feel I was going to lose it. The same reason I'm outside at this time, 9:55 pm Saudi time. She knows I have fought hard to tame my temper issues but most times, she makes deliberate efforts to have me overreact to her nags and rants.

I watched her hide the console in her pant yet again. I shuddered in obvious fear because I knew what the woman wanted, a fight. Unable to deal with it,the intimidation and the shame, I went for the console and squeezed it out from her hand while she was trying to hold it tight. That was when the trouble then started. She wanted a buffer to help her spill everything she had nursed in her mind. "You are a violent person!! You can kill, idiot!! You were not shown love by your parents, that is why you will squeeze your wife's hand to collect the console. They allowed you to grow up in the street without parental guidance and love." Then it came....pwaaaaaaah!!! She spat on my face!!!!! God knows, I have never been spat at before, not by my parents, not by my siblings, not by anybody. " I agree I was not shown love by my parents but your Dad is a coward for running away from your mother without being there for you guys when he needed to play his roles as a father. That explains the reason you are like this", I said and walked back to the seating room.

I managed to play a few games which I lost mostly and then slept off around past 5am this morning. Around 3pm, I woke up and went to the office. Not like I had work but I needed to clear my head away from the house. If only there was alcohol in Saudi, I would have been somewhere in a hotel drinking away the shame. When I returned home by past 7pm, hungry and tired. I needed to continue my game but I could no longer find the game console and the TV remote. I asked for it and she ignored me. I managed to eat and then left the house to this truck.

You see, I love my wife more than anything, more than anyone. She is one person in the whole world I could go any length for. I love her, that was why I forgave her when she broke up with me after I left Nigeria for Saudi Arabia. She broke up with me few months after I came to Saudi and started dating another guy twice her age. She says she never expected I would come back to her after she left me but I did. I did because I saw a future with her, a future I imagined, believed in and worked towards its reality. Today we have gotten to a level where most people out there would want to be, our colleagues envy is because they believe we are privileged and blessed but what they don't know is that in the truth, I have no peace. This marriage has become my legacy and my curse.

I want to send her back to Nigeria in few days time and I hope I'm not making a mistake!!! Spitting on my face, nah nah....am so fed up!!!!

Miladi:


You're wise. Thank you.

honestly, when a woman hides remote inside her pant the hubby should understand

Ishilove:
This is so wrong. Is she a snake? Please just send her back. Trash this out with her abeg.

This is insane

There are two sides to a story o, make woman come talk her own you go ask the same question in reverse order

my guy, sit your wife down and talk some senses to her. let her know your stand as a man of the house. divorcing her is not the solution, cos if u let her go what if the next woman that comes next is even more terrible than your present wife would u still divorce her? from you story I observe that communication is poor between you and your wife. you r always playing game lols. why won't she be angry at you. talk to her and make her feel that u r always attentive to what she have to say. ask her some sensitive questions about your kind of person, then you will now see your lapses too. May God sustain you marriage for you.

married for over a year, are you blessed with the fruit of the womb? I hope you are. if you are not, then that could be contributing to this her behaviour. am talking from experience.

Prince16:
May ur case not be like ds:


https://www.nairaland.com/2912495/lawyer-stabs-husband-death-ibadan

https://www.nairaland.com/2912463/yewande-fatoki-husband-killer-pictures.
The gentleman was stabbed to death (in d neck) while asleep by his wife (sic) after a quarrel. Please read d story..


Note: rationality is a rectitude dt d dotas of eve have in limited supply especially when exasperation sets in. A word should be enough 4 d wise!

Pix 1: d 'wife' and d husband corpse

Pix 2: d husband after d first stab in d evening of d quarrel

Pix 3: the man after d second stab in d NECK whilst asleep some few hours later

#marriage_not_by_force
#living_dog_beta_dn_dead_lion
#Team_receive_sense

Errm!!! In d 2nd pic, d guy almost had 'skin' hair cut, but in the 3rd, he had more hair. Both on the same day, uhnm, just saying.

theorist:



I'm not married

really

Oboy'' na wa o! No bottles for there.... Nigeria na home..

baddestchic:
stay away from her while this unwelcome atmosphere is between both of you

when its all over.... you have to sit her down and talk to her... ask what you did that got her angry and also tell her what she did that got you really mad... tell her very gently you dont like how she reacted... communication is key especially in marriage


respect is both ways there should be no spitting on anyone.... telling her to leave wont make things better only worse

I know you must be a lady to talk like this. for God's sake the woman committed abomination. there is no reason why the man should come back again to talk rubbish with her. Left for me I will I will become another man forever that she'll even be afraid to offend.

skfa1:
Op u are a man!

Last night,my wife won't let me sleep by kicking me while on bed,she wanted me to beat her back but guess what,I held her two hands and I kpa kpa kpa kpa her until she got tired and could not stand then slept peacefully!

Don't beat her ok,always restrain her! Let go of the spit,sit her down and have some calm convo with her.

Uhnmm

See harvest of advice! Slapping her around is not the solution. Real men don't beat their wives. While you need to forgive for the sake of stability, let her know this will be the last time you will take such a disrespectful behaviour from her. This is not weakness. You get positive results when you correct women with love. Try this and thank me later.

[b]Op, there were some vital things I was able to pick out from your write-up. First, I will personally tell you sorry on her behalf. Yea, I am sorry, very sorry.

The first thing I deduce from your ePistle is your marriage is just a year and something. It is quite normal to have this issues in marriage within those first few years. The devil must come naa;it is a must. If he doesn't, we won't appreciate God's making of a marriage to last. Also, we will not be able to advise other people who venture into this wonderful path.

It is not easy out there as people think. There is nothing like a perfect marriage. It all started with fight and later, agreement/settlement. Ask couples whom you respect a great deal, and they will tell you how they broke bottle on each other's head.

She spat on you? Come on. It's your wife. Would you rather I spit on you or another person on this forum. You've kissed her more than 10000000000 times naa. I will love if the highest anger from my wifey will always be her spit on my face, not kidding o.

To be frank, you are a man! The way you comported yourself shows you have a heart of gold. Remember both of you are one. The moment you married her, you both became intertwined. Don't see her as, "my wifey" rather see her as , "Me". This is a family that is growing. Don't let the little thing that just happened ruin it. Love her more even now. There must be sacrifice for a family to grow, and if you can do that, do it diligently.

I pray God grants both of you the wisdom and understanding to build your family to God's taste.[/b]

sweetcocoa:
Your wife should never have to spit on you(unless you are into it ) but I can't help saying you both are like really immature, what's with the talk about how y'alls parents raised you/background? While I don't support beating anybody but the girl dey mad? Even you OP your own no good too, hab!, must you vex at everything? She collected the remote and you reach into her panty to get it, like what's that? must you give her quarrel when you already saw it coming?


But mehn! If him pour me spit, hmmm, I no know wetin go happen o but I'm sure of one thing, which is that, he will wonder, 'what's going through her head'

He should just be very afraid sha.

Thank you for being honest. Everybody just dey shout forgiveness, hailing his level of patience as if it's that easy to let go of something as distasteful as this.

Spat on a human being with feelings fa?

Mehn.., I can't deal jare...I'm out.

There are 2 sides to every story but lets look at your version.

Women will always be women and Men should not push it too far.

Yes we all can forget but then we should make fast moves to remedy the situation.

Since you forgot your router at work, you could have renewed hers when she asked.

Why is the game so important that you can't pause it or even stop it to give your woman attention?

A soft answer the bible says changes situations, its hard for a man to win an insulting derby with a woman.

On the good side, thank God you did not allow it degenerate to a free for all fight; you may have ended up committing murder.

The case is not irredeemable, sending her back to Nigeria is not an option.

Find a way by effective communication and then get back into good terms with her.

PS also try and teach her FIFA 16 or play Gran Turismo with her. Women sha hate video consoles, why I have no idea.

bethyz:
Write to Amara van lare on Facebook she would give you the perfect answer. Opinion is what you will get here

is Amara God? Smcheww we too dey make people proud, reason pastors here feel above God himself.

Women have different ways to grab attention. Believe it or not, some women actually likes being beaten up becos they know their cries would soften the man's heart and from their they would fvck demselves wella except when the man is not 'man' enuf to understand those tell tale signs. We love to raise dust out of nothing in our quest to get attention.

Tell me why else would she hid the remote in her pants if not to grab your attention or wants you to touch her in there which you've abdicated from. The whole story painted just points to the direction of loneliness.

Man comes back from 'hectic' work, eats, goes online to play FIFA 17 (abi na wetin sef) or watch EPL shouting and kicking imaginary balls while the wife is left alone. She has nothing to face than Instagram, Whatsapp, Facebook or LIB.

My guy ...try face your wife! She has every right to slap or spit on you ....lovingly though. Its left to you to also lovingly forgive her. Young marriages such as this are always like this but as the year goes on ....it becomes smoother. BTW ....is she pregnant yet or you guys been trying?

This might also be a reason for her behavior. Instead of you to be chopping her you busy de play FIFA 17 while her biological clock ticks away Guy ...face your wife more jooooooooor!

RedCapChief:


So, a woman is lonely and desires her husband's attention. . . she then seizes his property and spits on him
Hiding things in panties is not an indication that a woman wants you to 'touch' her.
If she wanted him to 'touch' her, red wine and lingerie are what she needs; not spitting and fighting

bigtt76, please don't confuse people here.

sllay:


Dude, just because you grew up watching your temperamental dad knock out your mum's teeth every Christmas while she spent every alternate weekend recuperating in a hospital bed after he beat her to a coma doesn't mean that's the way women, worse still married women should be treated.

Some of us were raised in homely environments.

Don't end up like your dad, boy. Rise above female brutality!

Guy,it seems you don't live in Nigeria or didn't live in Nigeria very well.
Let me tell you,there are some certain things you'd have to do as a married couple in Nigeria atimes for your marriage to work; and that may include beatings.
Let me ask you: why do you think Nigerian Parents beat their kids? Does it mean they don't love them? My Brother,this is Nigeria - where you shouldn't spare the rod to spoil a child. Some women infact,desire to be beaten. They crave it,and until you do that to them,you'd never have peace or respect. That's the raw fact. Mind you,I'm not in anyway encouraging wife abuse or assault. I don't mean incessant beating or unnecessary beating or habitual beating. No. What I mean is responsible beating when you know that is what will save your marriage and save her and you.
Be wise Bro,everything is not just pure white and black.

@OP you've made a very big mistake with her.
1) Never allow a woman know ur weak point or soft spot, she'll surely use it against you someday

2) Once there's someone else she's had romantic association with and you're aware, It's not advisable to take her back no matter what.
It's like undoing what shouldn't be undone (that's just nature).. Only regrets come after

I hope you find a solution quick cos for me, sending her back is out of it

Miladi:


You're wise. Thank you.

You too.

nameerfhtennek:


I want to send her back to Nigeria in few days time and I hope I'm not making a mistake!!! Spitting on my face, nah nah....am so fed up!!!!

Bro, i have something to tell you.

I'm a Nigerian
I'm a certified psychologist and I'm based in the USA.

It's normal for couples to fight but there are actions that can't be overlooked.
Calling your parents names, cheating on you and then the most brutal and the most unforgivable act "spitting on your face"
You have had so many suggestions and opinions from different people on Nairaland.
Here is my professional advice :
Divorce her and send her back to Nigeria if all the things you narrated here really happened.
That woman will kill you if given the opportunity, she hates you, no doubt.

Now here is my final prophecy :
Don't divorce and send her back to Nigeria.
You will come here on Nairaland to cry again but this time, it will be more severe.

Do whatever you want with your life and your wife

Hmmmmm... This is just a simple women mood swing ish... All she needed was attention, just a little of your time. I think you are the one who is kinda tired or bored of the relationship believe me, when a woman starts finding this kind of trouble you just pictured here, she definitely needs attention, you can either fight play play fight with her and see her start crying immediately just so you can pet her and tell her sorry and of course give her good sex. Again check if she is going through some issue, maybe some family problem from home, or stuffs like trying to get pregnant, career etc... In all look more closely, you'd find the solution, sending her back is not the solution if you really still want your marriage. Remain blessed.

sllay:


Like your mum cried, right? She begged your dad not to throw that punch but didn't listen to her plea so he punched her right between her eyes and she nearly bled to death while he went to a street bar to brag to his other wife-beating friends over a large bottle of illicit gin how he " taught that nonsense woman that he's the man of the house".

Isn't that why you were left to fend for yourself while she was awaiting surgeries in hospital time and again? You grew up ill-mannered and a brute. A spiting image of your dad and the stone-heart of the devil.
G
Loveless child of bitterness and anguish!

guy,dont be deceived she is having an affair or u are no longer having her time

bigtt76:
Women have different ways to grab attention. Believe it or not, some women actually likes being beaten up becos they know their cries would soften the man's heart and from their they would fvck demselves wella except when the man is not 'man' enuf to understand those tell tale signs. We love to raise dust out of nothing in our quest to get attention.

Tell me why else would she hid the remote in her pants if not to grab your attention or wants you to touch her in there which you've abdicated from. The whole story painted just points to the direction of loneliness.

Man comes back from 'hectic' work, eats, goes online to play FIFA 17 (abi na wetin sef) or watch EPL shouting and kicking imaginary balls while the wife is left alone. She has nothing to face than Instagram, Whatsapp, Facebook or LIB.

My guy ...try face your wife! She has every right to slap or spit on you ....lovingly though. Its left to you to also lovingly forgive her. Young marriages such as this are always like this but as the year goes on ....it becomes smoother. BTW ....is she pregnant yet or you guys been trying?

This might also be a reason for her behavior. Instead of you to be chopping her you busy de play FIFA 17 while her biological clock ticks away Guy ...face your wife more jooooooooor!

You Killed it...she needs attention and for her to hide the remote in her pant is just a green light he fails to see. I don't miss such opportunities even when not in the mood (not married though)

nameerfhtennek:
It's more than 20minutes, I'm still unable to put words together to begin this story. I will try keep it simple and necessarily detailed so everyone will understand the true picture of what happened, why against my belief that writing personal experiences on social media is immature, I had to still write mine. Let's just say I'm not thinking right now, maybe I'm so upset but truth is, I need your advice.

I'm writing this thread seated at the back of a Hilux truck just outside our apartment. Yaa, that me in the picture. You see, today is EID and believe me I should be resting in the house since I'm not working today. Days like this only come by 6times in a whole year and more than anything, I would have loved resting than being out here.

It was yesterday evening, she called and said she her driver were headed to my office. She wanted to pick some stuffs around my office. Yaa, I forgot to say this is Saudi Arabia. If you know Saudi quite well, you will agree with me that a husband will definitely get exhausted running errands for his wife or the family. I was not in the mood for shopping but she wanted to shop. She got upset that I didn't want to accompany her shopping.

She did her shopping alone and returned few minutes before I closed from work. We headed home. Unknown to me, I forgot my internet router in my office because I was rushing to get home and continue with my FIFA 16.
Her internet service expired some days back so we were using mine.

While playing game, she walked into the seating room and demanded for my router. Mine, not hers. With her tone and facial expression demanding the router, I didn't respond because there was an indication that she was warming up for a quarrel. I wasn't just in the mood. The thing is, she is very skilled in extending her anger phases. That is one thing I can't understand till today. Believe me, it was not like this while we were dating. Sorry, I forgot to tell you I married my university girlfriend, she years my junior and the same department. Ya, I'm one of those guys that dated and planned for the future with their girls at the same time. God blessed that plan but at this point I don't understand everything that has been happening for the past one year plus since we got married. She repeatedly demanded that I handed over my router to her but I was quiet. Meanwhile, it occurred to me that I forgot the router in my office the minute she first asked about it. Truth is, I actually needed to use the internet that night for my online FIFA.

After several times of asking for the router and no response from me, she took the TV remote and switched off the TV. She walked straight to the kitchen and hid the remote. I approached her in the kitchen and told her I was not ready for any kinda quarrel. We have had enough for the past one year of getting married. I then told her I forgot the router in my office, I didn't have it. I guess she didn't believe me, she never did. She told me to leave her alone. I returned back to the seating room with my heart beating fast. I knew she wanted a serious quarrel that night. After some minutes, I returned to the kitchen and requested for the remote. Then I figured out she hid it in her pant. Pretending I was passing by, I swiftly went for the remote from under her short gown and grabbed it. She didn't expect I knew where she hid it. She followed me behind and ceased the game console, second indication she wanted me to react. I do have a problem with my temper just like every human, male or female. I have also learnt to deal with it by walking away at times I feel I was going to lose it. The same reason I'm outside at this time, 9:55 pm Saudi time. She knows I have fought hard to tame my temper issues but most times, she makes deliberate efforts to have me overreact to her nags and rants.

I watched her hide the console in her pant yet again. I shuddered in obvious fear because I knew what the woman wanted, a fight. Unable to deal with it,the intimidation and the shame, I went for the console and squeezed it out from her hand while she was trying to hold it tight. That was when the trouble then started. She wanted a buffer to help her spill everything she had nursed in her mind. "You are a violent person!! You can kill, idiot!! You were not shown love by your parents, that is why you will squeeze your wife's hand to collect the console. They allowed you to grow up in the street without parental guidance and love." Then it came....pwaaaaaaah!!! She spat on my face!!!!! God knows, I have never been spat at before, not by my parents, not by my siblings, not by anybody. " I agree I was not shown love by my parents but your Dad is a coward for running away from your mother without being there for you guys when he needed to play his roles as a father. That explains the reason you are like this", I said and walked back to the seating room.

I managed to play a few games which I lost mostly and then slept off around past 5am this morning. Around 3pm, I woke up and went to the office. Not like I had work but I needed to clear my head away from the house. If only there was alcohol in Saudi, I would have been somewhere in a hotel drinking away the shame. When I returned home by past 7pm, hungry and tired. I needed to continue my game but I could no longer find the game console and the TV remote. I asked for it and she ignored me. I managed to eat and then left the house to this truck.

You see, I love my wife more than anything, more than anyone. She is one person in the whole world I could go any length for. I love her, that was why I forgave her when she broke up with me after I left Nigeria for Saudi Arabia. She broke up with me few months after I came to Saudi and started dating another guy twice her age. She says she never expected I would come back to her after she left me but I did. I did because I saw a future with her, a future I imagined, believed in and worked towards its reality. Today we have gotten to a level where most people out there would want to be, our colleagues envy is because they believe we are privileged and blessed but what they don't know is that in the truth, I have no peace. This marriage has become my legacy and my curse.

I want to send her back to Nigeria in few days time and I hope I'm not making a mistake!!! Spitting on my face, nah nah....am so fed up!!!!

Guuuuuuy.


That woman fit kill.

Fine babes full naija wen they find faithful hubby when go make them happy.


My cousin graduate of Finance, single, 24, talk about beauty with brains? Na she, but she never marry she need man, she is the girl that took care of me all thru d time I was sick because my sisters and brothers live outside Nigeria. Very caring girl.


Ni you sitdown make them spit for ur face.

Woman no suppose get temper.

She go destroy you with am.

After all she no love u.

She don date another guy after una break uo bfr to show "I don't give a Bleep"

But u wen no wan comot ur comfort zone to.find another woman come go back.

Fkforyou:


Thank you for being honest. Everybody just dey shout forgiveness, hailing his level of patience as if it's that easy to let go of something as distasteful as this.

Spat on a human being with feelings fa?

Mehn.., I can't deal jare...I'm out.

My brother, OP has his faults too but the babe, hmmm

Make I keep quiet before them go say I follow break person marriage.

All of you people that opened your dirty cavities shouting send her back, send her back, if it were to be your sisters will you say the same, imagine if the OP is your in-law and called you on phone right now to complain that your sister spat on him will you tell him to bring your sister back from Saudi to this Godforsaken Nija? instead you will advise him to calm down and forgive your sister. make una think twice ooo and do to others that which you want for yourself.

Ehen Oga Op back to the matter, please try and resolve the issue with your wife because you are the man, you could have told her the first time that you forgot the router at your office, but you kept quiet because you suspected she wants trouble, had it been you answered her in the first time i don't think this will escalate to this extent. Please understand that this is marriage you entered without anybody's consent here on Nairaland, so don't let anybody here deceive you to divorce and send back your wife to Nigeria because you will regret it not them, Be wise and settle the issue with YOUR WIFE. and you pray and look for a way to add a sweet flavor back into your marriage once again.

As for us wey never marry, please we should be careful and pray very well before we enter because once we enter the institution of marriage there is no getting out of it, Remember that a failed relationship is better than a failed marriage.

May God be with us all.

ikevin:

Errm!!! In d 2nd pic, d guy almost had 'skin' hair cut, but in the 3rd, he had more hair. Both on the same day, uhnm, just saying.

Use your brain