Annalise:
"Pretending I was passing by, I swiftly went for the remote from under her short gown and grabbed it." too funny.

Meanwhile, don't heed the advice of bachelors advising you to hit her. It's better you send her away. Some women become more vicious after you hit them, instead of taming them as most of the small boys here have suggested.

What is your suggestion ??

ikevin:
abeg when you said kpa kpa kpa, does it mean beating or spanshing?

Not beating,making use of my anaconda in a way she has never received it before.

Oshe Maami

Oyimeoyimemua:
honestly, when a woman hides remote inside her pant the hubby should understand

Tearg1:
After reading this post, I can sense the grief you must be going through in your relationship. Marriage suppose to be a blessing, and not a pain.

In order to solve this issue, you have to go to the root of the marriage; Was it based on physical appearance or your spirit and her spirit were a match?

What I can sense here as you admitted, you had anger issues, and it sounds like she does too. This is a spiritual thing bro and the permanent solution to this issue is to invite God into the relationship.

What your wife did was not right, but from what you wrote, ignoring her only fuelled the provocation. The underline problem here is the love in the home has vanished, and thats why you are more attached to your game console than your wife, to the extent your natural body now needs to cool off else where with alcohol because there is no peace in the house...

If you sending her to Nigeria, I will advice you come with her also and go visit SCOAN with her, and seek for spiritual solution from Heaven, and God will hear your prayers if you believe with your heart. Both of you may go through deliverance in order to allow God to align your spirits together and restore the Joy to your matrimony...

Your home should be a sanctuary... Sending your wife home alone could expose you to temptation.. That will only give the devil room to operate by allowing the anger in her to grow and lead her towards temptation.

I am a strong believer that God can restore your home and bring you Joy, Peace and Happiness...

Start praying on your knees with your wife at 12 Midnight and ask God to fill your hearts with His Holy Spirit, and ask him to fix both of you....... and invite Jesus into your relationship.... If you believe, watch what will happen within 1 Month....

na only SCOAN God dey abi?

Okikiki:
@OP
nameerfhtennek:

I must start by congratulating your maturity and calmness in handling this matter up to this point.

However, some facts garnered from the story (your side of the coin) suggests :
1.Your woman never had absolute trust on you hence she broke up with you and entered another relationship

2. You have been having issues with her for a year now which suggests built up aggression which has not been fully resolved.

3.Both of you are yet to understand yourselves which is impacting on your compatibility.

4.I see a situation where none of you listens to each other's needs culminating into latent anger. Any minute provocation revives the same anger and trouble breeds from there.

MY ADVISE :

1. You need to address the trust issue in your marriage. Does your wife have absolute confidence that you are always there for her? You are the head of your home, you would set the tone of what your home should be and vigorously pursue an all inclusive policy.
The lack of trust made her to doubt the veracity of your explanation about forgetting the internet gadget in your office.

2. Find out your wife's pains. It is not all about you. She might be struggling alone, without you noticing her pains. Open up for her to empty herself in you. Then she would have the inner peace which would translate to yours as well.

3. Do not send her packing at all. Bring her closer and forgive her with a very stern warning that she won't be so lucky next time such occurs. Build a bond with her.
No marriage is perfect, it's a whole lot of work from both of you to make it succeed.
However you are the head, walking into the life of another woman might not be the best option for you because you wouldn't know the content of the next woman's character.

Putting all together, he who is forgiven more loves more, as declared by the Greatest Teacher Himself.

It is well.

Read this:
http://www.richardpaulevans.com/index.php/2015/02/09/saved-marriage/

Abeg abeg no too much preaching . am not saying the husband should divorce her but that woman need some hard lesson. Can't you just see that this woman in question has gone extreme

SirWere:


You are really quite stupid. You kept on throwing emotional statements around like "your mom" or "your dad" and other shit like that.


Nigga, it doesn't change the fact that this woman the OP is talking about needs to be taught respect.

A slap or two will fix this. I know what I'm talking about.

Na wa for the guy, me just taya, who is now even worse between himself and the person he wants us to believe that he is trying to correct.

RedCapChief:


So, a woman is lonely and desires her husband's attention. . . she then seizes his property and spits on him
Hiding things in panties is not an indication that a woman wants you to 'touch' her.
If she wanted him to 'touch' her, red wine and lingerie are what she needs; not spitting and fighting

bigtt76, please don't confuse people here.

You amuse me. I really don't want to write much; but let me try. 1) If he wasn't prejudicial, he wouldn't had reacted the way he did when her wife made request for an internet router - it was an obvious indirect way of initiating a dialog and reconciliatory talk with him. He could be forgiven for failing to apply diplomacy in that scene 1, because not many are gifted the gift of high sensitivity. 2) Scene two was much more obvious what her intentions was, yet the man failed to decode it, too. Come on, here we're talking about two married people.

Well, her outburst and taunts after the scenes above was a clear indication of how frustrated she was over her beloved husband's inability to understand her love language. Although, she overreacted on the spitting aspect, but you and I knows that action always takes place before reaction.

OP, kindly forgive your wife and then register your disappointment over her overreaction.

ERCROSS:


oga shut up jare make we hear word,

u for kuku take gun kill him for voicing his own opinion, no be only red hot iron

bros
If I marry your sister or daughter and she raise hand against me or spits on my face. I swear, drum set no go get beating reach her...

If that kain thing happen to me, wetin my mind go first tell be na "headbutt him", "kick am" "bite am" in fact, killing him can't even make me feel better.

/
It is not your fault.

The issue is that when she looks at you, she gets mad at herself because you were her second choice. But you don't know it.

\

nameerfhtennek:

Behira:
Forgive

ogorwyne:
Just forgive her.

yeah i salute your cool temper which is an evidence of maturity and soundness.
However, sending her packing will negate your former coolness. So pls just forgive her and continue to love her as God commands all husbands to love their wives as Christ loves the Church.
Irrespective of our misdeeds but He still forgives us even though He was also spat on, so pls dont send her packing, welcome her back in your arms and prove to her that your love for her is beyond bounds. And she will be propelled by this sudden action of yours and her conscience (if she has any) wont let her rest.
Selah

It's evident... she needs her once upon a time university love/husband... this is just her very crude way of being expressive... dat is ow complicated women can be...

Your marriage is still young... we men are very mindful wen we wana select the woman we feel we can spend forever with... it means you may have seen something in her... and if u are sensitive enough, u can tell if she was faking it all or not...

It takes 2 to tango. Either or both of you may av been underfeeding some areas in your relationship passively b4 u can escalated to dis.

D way u dey passionate abt ur fifa (esply after close of work), do u guys every make out time to get intimate? (not jst sex)

"To every reaction, der mst av been a trigger"
Abeg give am anoda chance. Wen this is over, make una take a break. D devil is currently taking delight in all this drama, don't entertain him any further... And please don't make the mistake to hit her...

God bless you home...

nameerfhtennek:
It's more than 20minutes, I'm still unable to put words together to begin this story. I will try keep it simple and necessarily detailed so everyone will understand the true picture of what happened, why against my belief that writing personal experiences on social media is immature, I had to still write mine. Let's just say I'm not thinking right now, maybe I'm so upset but truth is, I need your advice.

I'm writing this thread seated at the back of a Hilux truck just outside our apartment. Yaa, that me in the picture. You see, today is EID and believe me I should be resting in the house since I'm not working today. Days like this only come by 6times in a whole year and more than anything, I would have loved resting than being out here.

It was yesterday evening, she called and said she her driver were headed to my office. She wanted to pick some stuffs around my office. Yaa, I forgot to say this is Saudi Arabia. If you know Saudi quite well, you will agree with me that a husband will definitely get exhausted running errands for his wife or the family. I was not in the mood for shopping but she wanted to shop. She got upset that I didn't want to accompany her shopping.

She did her shopping alone and returned few minutes before I closed from work. We headed home. Unknown to me, I forgot my internet router in my office because I was rushing to get home and continue with my FIFA 16.
Her internet service expired some days back so we were using mine.

While playing game, she walked into the seating room and demanded for my router. Mine, not hers. With her tone and facial expression demanding the router, I didn't respond because there was an indication that she was warming up for a quarrel. I wasn't just in the mood. The thing is, she is very skilled in extending her anger phases. That is one thing I can't understand till today. Believe me, it was not like this while we were dating. Sorry, I forgot to tell you I married my university girlfriend, she years my junior and the same department. Ya, I'm one of those guys that dated and planned for the future with their girls at the same time. God blessed that plan but at this point I don't understand everything that has been happening for the past one year plus since we got married. She repeatedly demanded that I handed over my router to her but I was quiet. Meanwhile, it occurred to me that I forgot the router in my office the minute she first asked about it. Truth is, I actually needed to use the internet that night for my online FIFA.

After several times of asking for the router and no response from me, she took the TV remote and switched off the TV. She walked straight to the kitchen and hid the remote. I approached her in the kitchen and told her I was not ready for any kinda quarrel. We have had enough for the past one year of getting married. I then told her I forgot the router in my office, I didn't have it. I guess she didn't believe me, she never did. She told me to leave her alone. I returned back to the seating room with my heart beating fast. I knew she wanted a serious quarrel that night. After some minutes, I returned to the kitchen and requested for the remote. Then I figured out she hid it in her pant. Pretending I was passing by, I swiftly went for the remote from under her short gown and grabbed it. She didn't expect I knew where she hid it. She followed me behind and ceased the game console, second indication she wanted me to react. I do have a problem with my temper just like every human, male or female. I have also learnt to deal with it by walking away at times I feel I was going to lose it. The same reason I'm outside at this time, 9:55 pm Saudi time. She knows I have fought hard to tame my temper issues but most times, she makes deliberate efforts to have me overreact to her nags and rants.

I watched her hide the console in her pant yet again. I shuddered in obvious fear because I knew what the woman wanted, a fight. Unable to deal with it,the intimidation and the shame, I went for the console and squeezed it out from her hand while she was trying to hold it tight. That was when the trouble then started. She wanted a buffer to help her spill everything she had nursed in her mind. "You are a violent person!! You can kill, idiot!! You were not shown love by your parents, that is why you will squeeze your wife's hand to collect the console. They allowed you to grow up in the street without parental guidance and love." Then it came....pwaaaaaaah!!! She spat on my face!!!!! God knows, I have never been spat at before, not by my parents, not by my siblings, not by anybody. " I agree I was not shown love by my parents but your Dad is a coward for running away from your mother without being there for you guys when he needed to play his roles as a father. That explains the reason you are like this", I said and walked back to the seating room.

I managed to play a few games which I lost mostly and then slept off around past 5am this morning. Around 3pm, I woke up and went to the office. Not like I had work but I needed to clear my head away from the house. If only there was alcohol in Saudi, I would have been somewhere in a hotel drinking away the shame. When I returned home by past 7pm, hungry and tired. I needed to continue my game but I could no longer find the game console and the TV remote. I asked for it and she ignored me. I managed to eat and then left the house to this truck.

You see, I love my wife more than anything, more than anyone. She is one person in the whole world I could go any length for. I love her, that was why I forgave her when she broke up with me after I left Nigeria for Saudi Arabia. She broke up with me few months after I came to Saudi and started dating another guy twice her age. She says she never expected I would come back to her after she left me but I did. I did because I saw a future with her, a future I imagined, believed in and worked towards its reality. Today we have gotten to a level where most people out there would want to be, our colleagues envy is because they believe we are privileged and blessed but what they don't know is that in the truth, I have no peace. This marriage has become my legacy and my curse.

I want to send her back to Nigeria in few days time and I hope I'm not making a mistake!!! Spitting on my face, nah nah....am so fed up!!!!

just simply tell your in-laws that you guys are coming home.

I'm sure the lady is looking for loop holes to free the marriage.

My friend, first i commend you for controlling your anger but as much as i want to give you the credit, i would also tell you....you have a part to be blamed for. From your story, you said she asked you for your internet gadget but you ignored her because from her tone of voice, you knew she wanted a quarrel. I'm not sure i understand that part...why did you not just let her go with her wahala jeje and answer her the first time instead of waiting till she ceased the remote b4 answering her?......ofcourse anybody would doubt the authenticity of what you said if at the first time you ddnt answer, then after ceasing the remote, you now said you forgot it at the office. Bruv, i am a married man and i can say the same about women whose husbands play consoles just like me...they will always raise hell for that game to be stopped if you dont include them in your game plans. My wife can start sweeping the sitting room at night just to distract me. Na so women be! Yes i would say spitting on your face was the worst she could do but sending her back won't settle anything bruv....there are better ways of punishing a woman and remember you love her.

my bro, just keep your cool. if na Yankee you de, na jail you go end up o, and you go get felony record for life, just let her go.

DICKtator:
Wooow!!.
Dude you are in Saudi Arabia!!
Give her the beating of her life!!!!!

I even thought you were in America where you talk back at woman, poosie pig men police would lock you up!!!

You are in Saudi, beat the phucck out of her till she only sees black and blue (or flying birds!!!)

Lool, joke apart, you mean she hid a remote and later a whole console in her pant? You for just talk say na Yokozuna you marry instead of all this euphemisms you gave!!!

OK. Jokes apart, what's your FIFA username? Make I beat you well first!!

Hahahaha!!

Oyimeoyimemua:
honestly, when a woman hides remote inside her pant the hubby should understand

Spot-on.

Iefosa:
This issue is a minor one, but can really mature to stage of causing serious damages:

You're a married man, bros you don't ignore a woman's want or should I say feeling, no matter how silly it might be, just give her the attention, then you will enjoy and do whatever you do in peace. Assuming you went shopping with her, she for even cook better food give you ontop that fifa self. Follow dey shout Goal even when computer score you .

See bros, just go back to her, apologise, let her know that you're sorry for not going shopping with her, that it was not good of you, that nothing can come between you two not even that game self, let her know you paid deaf ear to her feelings, but you have realised now, you're very sorry, it wouldn't happen again. You go see she go just bust cry, then you kiss her, then yanch am, after everything. Tell her say that spit wey she spit for your face you dey forbid am, make she nor ever try am again, she will promise and promise, she wouldn't do it again really.

Biko don't send her home oh, Nigeria this time ehn NA wrong timing, sort things out with your wife brother, e nor easy.

Apologise to her ke, you people must be joking.

VolTOxic:
Most men would have given her a beating, but you kept your cool. For that I respect and admire you. Now to the point, Yes. Please send her away. That woman hates you!

How can your own wife say that horrible thing and spat to you face?! She hates you. She have crossed the line.
You said your marriage is a curse. You are not happy at all. Neither is she. You are not making a mistake. Do it.

You are a true gentleman. You deserve better. You'll find someone to heal your wounds. Don't even waste your time for any shìt counselling. She is not the woman you fell for. That woman is gone the moment she spat. Forever.

Your advice is not reasonable.
Hey bro I know I am just 21yrs old have never been in any relationship b4 not to talk of marriage but I feel your pain, I have fixed my self in your place and I know how hard it is to be treated like that not by an enemy but by your own someone you could die for someone you have made sacrifices for someone you love if you ll see my comment before its too late here's what you should know.
Marriage is not a bed of roses it is pain mixed with pleasure, bitterness with sweetness its love mixed with hate just like u hate her for what she did sometime some of these things come up and its like its never gonna end but I want you to know this the back bone of any marriage is God and endurance your ability to let go and let God, makes your marriage stand, sending her home won't help the devil will just rejoice. Every hard time you overcome in your marriage make it better someday your child or a friend will be in this same shoe and you'll use ur experience To advice him if you don't pass this how can u.
Keep cool silence echos the loudest. Its too much she has gone pass her limit
No body would take this yes its true but remember there are some that even seek for a spouse to spit on there face they have not seen come on bro make your marriage work. Some will read this post and say mtchew you dnt even have a problem. If you hear their own u will thnk God for your life. You love her if u send her home you'll make it worse you don't want to have ur kids parented by separate parents. That good life you have imagined and worked hard to build until now is still in progress. Pray that God will help you pass this storm you'll look back and smile at this moment bro don't send her away make it work. This is a big very big huddle u can't afford to trip over. GOD BLESS YOU ,BLESS YOU DEAR WIFE AND BLESS YOU MARRIAGE. In Jesus name AMEN. Pls don't go after another in cases like this you ll see another lady showing up appearing to be better but they end up being worse.
Be careful the advice you take cos some of these ppl here are single immediately they just see my wife spate on my face they will jump on their keyboard and say nonsense like send her away its too much but its easy for them to say cos they have never been married so they don't know what its like to send ones wife away or some think its like sending a girl friend away...

ayamAgenius:
It's evident... she needs her once upon a time university love/husband... this is just her very crude way of being expressive... dat is ow complicated women can be...

Your marriage is still young... we men are very mindful wen we wana select the woman we feel we can spend forever with... it means you may have seen something in her... and if u are sensitive enough, u can tell if she was faking it all or not...

It takes 2 to tango. Either or both of you may av been underfeeding some areas in your relationship passively b4 u can escalated to dis.

D way u dey passionate abt ur fifa (esply after close of work), do u guys every make out time to get intimate? (not jst sex)

"To every reaction, der mst av been a trigger"
Abeg give am anoda chance. Wen this is over, make una take a break. D devil is currently taking delight in all this drama, don't entertain him any further... And please don't make the mistake to hit her...

God bless you home...

God bless you on this piece.....nairalanders are very fast to judge when they hear one side of a story without thinking deeply

ladyF:
She deserves to be sent back. Let her go and learn manners where she came from!

Haba! I didn't have issues with the men advocating for the wife to be sent home. I thought female will thought different. Sinice the husband chooses to be gentle, he shouldn't have gone rough with the wife.

For me, I will just command that the remote should be given to me and change my eyeball to blood red. He went physical with the wife and hurt her in the process. That was her way of getting back.

In fact, he caused the quarrel. Why did he keep the wife quiet? I am sure the wife will have no friend in Saudi Arabia other than him. And he hardly sit home because of his job maybe. And when he comes home, it is game. The wife has been pissed of by his refusal to go shopping with him way before.

If my wife put my remote inside her pvssy zone. She will definitely get f**ked by hook or by crook.

GossipHeart:


Use your brain

.

Spitting on your face? Mehn that's baaad.
In my culture it's seen as something reserved for the vilest and most disgusting of creatures. Nobody in their right minds would do that to their husband/wife except they are done with the marriage and really despise the spouse.

And she's not even remorseful about it which makes it worse.

Sorry OP.

skfa1:


Not beating,making use of my anaconda in a way she has never received it before.

.

InvertedHammer:
/
It is not your fault.

The issue is that when she looks at you, she gets mad at herself because you were her second choice. But you don't know it.

\

ayamAgenius:
It's evident... she needs her once upon a time university love/husband... this is just her very crude way of being expressive... dat is ow complicated women can be.

una be badt guys aswear.
This could be the real hidden truth

To add to what i have said before.....bruv, if my wife hides something in her panties....trust me, she is telling a different thing!

just send her back. How can she treat u lyk dat.

I would not concur to what your pointed out right there that your wife was not acting in same manner when you were dating. She did, but peradventure, you were blinded by lust not to have noticed it. According to your statement, she asked you several times for the router, and you refused to asnwer. Don't you think your protracted silence could have been responsible for what have degenerated to this level? I am of the view that this wouldn't have been a topic for discussion if you had told her you forgot the router at your place of work. If you would be candid with yourself, you would know that you also have your own share of the blame.


In all honesty, she was wrong to have switched off the TV, ceased the remote and all the other unpalatable stuffs that she did, including spitting on your face which is the height of them all.

Make peace with her, look out for a time when she will be in a relaxed mode then raise the issue. Discuss with her at length. Tell her those things she did that you were not comfortable with and also give her time to say hers... There is no substitute for discussion in a union.




I wish you conjugal bliss....

I'm going to tell you what you should do. You won't do it. That's okay. You'll thank me in a year or two.

Here's what you should do.

1) Pack your portmanteau with as much as you can.

2) Check into a hotel, a long stay one.

3) Find an apartment.

4) Live your life.

Here's what's going to happen if you don't.

1) She'll kill you

2) You'll kill her

3) You'll be in jail

Good luck

PS: your wife has you completely and pathetically subjugated.

PPS: I'm on my 3rd marriage. Life is supposed to be gay, merry and joyous. Anyone that waylays that gets carved out of my life like a cancerous growth.

you were playing FIFA 16. do you u even have time for her? please don't send her away. am sure you can talk things out with her

Wtf! for real u strted dating another guy twice her Age ?

ikevin:
o boy!!!! Bad guy, she would just be saying, its okay now, its okay now while moaning.

hahahahaha amor the guy na bad guy. Him mind don dirty finish. Chai. What a comment. But the way the woman hide that thing for her inner dey make me suspect something fishy

hi, From your long write up i believe you have not been given your wife enough attention and in this manner your communication with her has reduced if exists at all. please spend Time with her and build your relationship.

Ensure that you communicate to her that spitting at you would no longer be tolerated.

my one kobo advice, guys who play video games like you would not have time for wifey and it hurts them. shallom