motivator4:
sorry for the lost. please next time don't allow your wife stay home for more than 9 months. from 37weeks a pregnant woman is due for delivery unless she hasn't dilated yet.

please tell your wife that in her next pregnancy, immediately she is at least 38weeks, she should tell the nurse to check if she has dilated and the should induce her for delivery. can't you see after the extra weeks she waited, she was still induced.

some women dont feel labor pain. they only feel it the moment baby wants to come out. just like me. i dont have labour pain. i may be discussing with you without you knowing that i was in labor. you might be surprise to hear that i've given birth in the next few minutes you left. i am a proud mother of 4kids. i gave birth to all of them by 38weeks, 4cm dilated and with induce. i don't wait till due date to avoid stressing myself and my unborn baby. when i feel is time, i will carry my bag and tell nurse to check me and know how many cm have dilated. sometimes waiting till natural labor comes on its own is tiring.

tell madam congrats that the best is on the way. it has happened and she shouldn't cry too much so that the other twin wouldn't get annoyed with her.

Yeah, last week Monday I asked her to tell the doctors to induce the delivery. I forgot the excuse they gave. I actually never want it to go past 37 weeks

Be very thankful to God sir...my neighbour lost the child she carried for 9month..A boy. first child .
but all the same she's alive...and strong ..keep calm.God knows about it..

cococandy:
That's true though.

Maybe they didn't try hard enough to let her know what was involved.
Although one can't really tell since we weren't there. You know how Nigerians can be over religious and depending on God to come down from heaven to solve issues when the solution is right there.

No me and my wife are totally liberal. We are are only as religious as one can be for conformity I think. But I am not an atheist though. But I hate what stupid things religion can make people do. I actually never wanted her to go past thirtyseven weeks. But she fears CS. I asked her to tell them to induce the delivery last week Monday. I've forgotten the excuse she said the doctor gave

surgecom:


Bros, if you don't understand Yoruba, ask someone to help you out. Do you know the meaning of "Ikoko lofo, Omi odanu? Well, it simply means "the wife dies, the child/children is/are alive, which is very contrary to what we have here.

Please modify

Thanks bro, I'm really suck at writing yoruba I guess.

femi4:
I feel like beating your Yoruba teacher right now

Don't beat him, I take responsibilty

Thanks for the correction.

Dandy1:

No me and my wife are totally liberal. We are are only as religious as one can be for conformity I think. But I am not an atheist though. But I hate what stupid things religion can make people do. I actually never wanted her to go past thirtyseven weeks. But she fears CS. I asked her to tell them to induce the delivery last week Monday. I've forgotten the excuse she said the doctor gave

okay.

Well sorry about your loss.

Your friend (my colleague at work) told me about it. I'm really sorry for your loss. Pls take heart and console yourself with the healthy wellbeing of the mother and the twin.

It is okay Dandy1, please cosole d Mrs, do no weep. God in his mercies knows all. On my way to work in a rickety bus n I'm sending you prayers and Gods comfort. Jesus knows. Big hugs

Dandy1:


Thanks so much. It hurt more when I went home to get some stuffs in the baby room and saw all those things we bought in pairs. Cots, wardrobe,carriers, baby car seats, and the stroller which my baby just forced me to assemble the second one just yesterday evening. When she said she might give birth anytime soon.
For pregnant people I'd like to give this advice:
It turned out the baby had been dead for over 48 hours before today. For a set of monozygotic twins(sharing same sac),the doctors thought it's a miracle there were no complications. To think we still went for checkup on last week Monday when she felt pain overnight,where the doctor advised to opt for CS that it is safer as against what people think. Especially for multiple births. She said the babies were perfectly grown and were just waiting inside. That they will be fine if delivered right away. But my wife felt she could do it by herself. It's all good though we'll get over it. I'll start deleting those pictures from her phone and dispose of those double things we won't be needing so as to make it go away quick.

M glad u brot this up yourself. Nine months n over just hanging on with a case of multiple birth was maybe... Oh well who knows d end from d beginning? God. It is well

I kniw how you feel. Yet , I will say congrats. The good Lord knows it all.

How can she agree to the CS when the chants of deliver like the Hebrew women is all you will hear from all this dem prayers.
If dem doctors and nurses talk about C-section people will accuse them of being after money

I just dey feel for your wife bro, caused she go dey blame herself for not heeding to their calls for the CS. Console her and man up, it is an expensive lesson but you have come out stronger and wiser and a little bit scathed.

Next pregnancy,tell her to reduce her attendance to all dem C-Section demonization prayers and " deliver like Hebrew women chants", to enable her recondition her thinking ability and her ability to make sound and safe decisions.

SirVintageCock:
How can she agree to the CS when the chants of deliver like the Hebrew women is all you will hear from all this dem prayers.
If dem doctors and nurses talk about C-section people will accuse them of being after money

I just dey feel for your wife bro, caused she go dey blame herself for not heeding to their calls for the CS. Console her and man up, it is an expensive lesson but you have come out stronger and wiser and a little bit scathed.

Next pregnancy,tell her to reduce her attendance to all dem C-Section demonization prayers and " deliver like Hebrew women chants", to enable her recondition her thinking ability and her ability to make sound and safe decisions.

You are right. The "Hebrew woman" slogan does my head in.

I came across a post two days ago where a guy was bragging about how his wife gave birth the "Hebrew woman way" and how she is a "strong Hebrew woman". You can imagine the guy bragging to friends and family? How does he think those that have experienced c-section births will feel? Those without children already have it ingrained in them thanks to his comments that "their wives must do it the Hebrew way" and "God forbid c-section".

I sat down and thought - so what about the women that gave birth via c-section? Are they "Jamaican women" or "Galilean women"? Are such women "weaklings"?

It's this "shaming" of c-section mums that makes many women shun this option even after professional advice from their doctors.

C-section mums are judged as "less prayerful", "lazy", "too posh to push", "less spritual" and "they must be paying for their sins" or "facing spritual attack" to have undergone this method of delivery.

This attitude and perception just has to stop. Nigerians can sometimes be too judgemental. I'm yet to see any child's birth certificate where the method of delivery has been stated. So why the fixation on "Hebrew woman style"?

I really commend the OP for honestly sharing his experience. I'm sure a lot of people have learnt from it. God will wipe away his tears and bless/compensate his wife in ways she never expected. Amen.

Take heart sir....


May d Almighty God provide another boo boo for you


Be strong for ur wife and d Lil boo


Congrats

Congratulations!!!
It wasn't a bitter-sweet day, it was a sweet day.
God knows best

ColtPython:
Your friend (my colleague at work) told me about it. I'm really sorry for your loss. Pls take heart and console yourself with the healthy wellbeing of the mother and the twin.

That would be Victor right? Small world

Nigerian pastors are tackfully riding on gullible and ignorant Nigerians using their ingenious religious brainwashing to rake in money for their posh lifestyles. If you believe in God then why is it hard to believe that he also made medical science to make life easier for his people. In fact, I don't understand sha, but I refuse to be ignorant and clueless.
Just some days ago, a doctor needed to have friend's son transfused with at least a pint of whole blood but this guy rather than hustling for the money opted to have his pastor invoked some sort of Jesus blood for his son to drink or something. Had to tell him that if this boy dies here amma tell the whole world that he use him for rituals. This had his brain reformatted and necessary arrangement was made, boy was transfused, 24 hours later we were home chilling with a bottle of wine and some nice stuffed chicken praising God. You've got brilliant people with half of their brain wired to their pastors .

helovesme:


You are right. The "Hebrew woman" slogan does my head in.

I came across a post two days ago where a guy was bragging about how his wife gave birth the "Hebrew woman way" and how she is a "strong Hebrew woman". You can imagine the guy bragging to friends and family? How does he think those that have experienced c-section births will feel? Those without children already have it ingrained in them thanks to his comments that "their wives must do it the Hebrew way" and "God forbid c-section".

I sat down and thought - so what about the women that gave birth via c-section? Are they "Jamaican women" or "Galilean women"? Are such women "weaklings"?

It's this "shaming" of c-section mums that makes many women shun this option even after professional advice from their doctors.

C-section mums are judged as "less prayerful", "lazy", "too posh to push", "less spritual" and "they must be paying for their sins" or "facing spritual attack" to have undergone this method of delivery.

This attitude and perception just has to stop. Nigerians can sometimes be too judgemental. I'm yet to see any child's birth certificate where the method of delivery has been stated. So why the fixation on "Hebrew woman style"?

I really commend the OP for honestly sharing his experience. I'm sure a lot of people have learnt from it. God will wipe away his tears and bless/compensate his wife in ways she never expected. Amen.

Dandy1:
Today Tuesday,September, 2016 started like every other day. At dawn about some few minutes past five O' clock, my wife which has been pregnant for 9 months 3weeks woke me up with a moan of pain.I opened my eyes to see her at the entrance to the bathroom. She had gone to pee when she suddenly felt the unbearable pain. I tried all I can to ease her pain,but it persisted. That's when it dawned on us that maybe she is starting to labour. I dashed to the baby room in which all things are already set for the most anticipated arrival, whisked up the box with the needed hospital stuffs,and we were on our way to the hospital within the minute.
We arrived there around some minutes to six, and till around 12:30 PM she was still labouring. I had gone to get various injections for drip two different time within those hours. It's been about seven hours or more, I was starting to worry. Just then I was called upon to come get another batch of supplies for the delivery. Such a strong woman! She has been quiet all along,unlike some other women that have been making awkward noises all around the wards. She had always promised to be strong through it.
The midwives were taking her calmness for loss of strength, they were urging her to cry out. They told me she had to push,that the baby is almost out. I moved closer to her ear and whispered;
"Baby,you are a strong woman please push hard enough. You know prolonged labour might hurt "Boo-Boo"(the pet name for our unborn twin babies) , please we have to take all three of you home alive. She got "gingered" and pushed hard and "Boo" came out. Such a beatiful baby girl! One more to go,that's when I was chased out to leave them to do their job. I went out to wait for the second "boo".
During one of those several scans during pregnancy, the scan attendant had once told us the twins were "sooo identical" according to the analysis. We got more eager to see them soon. I was outside feeling so happy after telling my sisters who were also waiting at d reception that boo is out. They were so happy. Shortly after, I was called upon to come into the ward. There I was shown the second baby. She looked so much like her twin sister,perperhaps as beautiful. Alas she was lifeless.
I cried bitterly inside while I tried to console my wife not to cry as she might hurt herself. But as soon as I got out of there i cried uncontrollably. They were going to be our first babies in our new marriage, though we've been together for about eleven years now( we dated for ten years since school days). We were so happy it will be twins. Her phone had been full of cute twin baby pictures. Whenever she saw any thread on here with twins with people wishing they had twins, she blushes that hers is on the way. Now it is all gone. But we still have our cute little "Boo" to keep.
I feel so down right now, I could use some consolatory comments. What a sweet bitter day!

No word will ever be able to heal you and your wife of your pains, especially knowing that it could have been averted.
But one truth is that your wife is a living testimony and God will bless you and your wife with another twins in your marriage.
Hold unto his words and be strong for boo!
God bless both of you!
My warm regards to your wife and family!

www.amaraofficial.com

congrats on the new born! sorry for the loss..if God made it possible for her to conceive twins once..it will still happen again bro.. cheer up.

My condolences, please take care of the living baby, God will surely send a replacement. Cheers

Dandy1:
Today Tuesday,September, 2016 started like every other day. At dawn about some few minutes past five O' clock, my wife which has been pregnant for 9 months 3weeks woke me up with a moan of pain.I opened my eyes to see her at the entrance to the bathroom. She had gone to pee when she suddenly felt the unbearable pain. I tried all I can to ease her pain,but it persisted. That's when it dawned on us that maybe she is starting to labour. I dashed to the baby room in which all things are already set for the most anticipated arrival, whisked up the box with the needed hospital stuffs,and we were on our way to the hospital within the minute.
We arrived there around some minutes to six, and till around 12:30 PM she was still labouring. I had gone to get various injections for drip two different time within those hours. It's been about seven hours or more, I was starting to worry. Just then I was called upon to come get another batch of supplies for the delivery. Such a strong woman! She has been quiet all along,unlike some other women that have been making awkward noises all around the wards. She had always promised to be strong through it.
The midwives were taking her calmness for loss of strength, they were urging her to cry out. They told me she had to push,that the baby is almost out. I moved closer to her ear and whispered;
"Baby,you are a strong woman please push hard enough. You know prolonged labour might hurt "Boo-Boo"(the pet name for our unborn twin babies) , please we have to take all three of you home alive. She got "gingered" and pushed hard and "Boo" came out. Such a beatiful baby girl! One more to go,that's when I was chased out to leave them to do their job. I went out to wait for the second "boo".
During one of those several scans during pregnancy, the scan attendant had once told us the twins were "sooo identical" according to the analysis. We got more eager to see them soon. I was outside feeling so happy after telling my sisters who were also waiting at d reception that boo is out. They were so happy. Shortly after, I was called upon to come into the ward. There I was shown the second baby. She looked so much like her twin sister,perperhaps as beautiful. Alas she was lifeless.
I cried bitterly inside while I tried to console my wife not to cry as she might hurt herself. But as soon as I got out of there i cried uncontrollably. They were going to be our first babies in our new marriage, though we've been together for about eleven years now( we dated for ten years since school days). We were so happy it will be twins. Her phone had been full of cute twin baby pictures. Whenever she saw any thread on here with twins with people wishing they had twins, she blushes that hers is on the way. Now it is all gone. But we still have our cute little "Boo" to keep.
I feel so down right now, I could use some consolatory comments. What a sweet bitter day!

Congratulation. Thank God boo is alive. May God be with the family.

Dandy1:


Yeah, last week Monday I asked her to tell the doctors to induce the delivery. I forgot the excuse they gave. I actually never want it to go past 37 weeks

Abeg let your baby stay for 40 weeks. The West that started the practise of inducing before 40 weeks are now begging Mothers to carry their babies full term because they have seen the implications of not doing so. Nigerian Medical council will wait until later to revert back. You guys stayed 40 weeks plus 3 weeks extra, that's where the wahala came in, any good doctor who knows you are having twins will call you in at 40 weeks max and induce you. The doctor should have insisted on it. What hospital did you use, because I know several doctors who would have wheeled your wife, kicking and screaming, to the Operating Room. Abeg next time, tell your wife to join Health section, there are 2 thread there for Pregnancy and for Newborns, had you or she come there to mention she was even 40 weeks and some days with twins, we would have used screams to chase you to hospital that night. Pele

You are really lucky some people would do anything to get pregnant talk more of having a successful delivery. Boo is your blessing and miracle please enjoy fatherhood and expect to be called daddy soon. Congratulations

congratulations and so sory about the loss but u should have opted for a cs since its a multiple delivery

its not easy to have twin through normal delivery and complications like this abound.
but just take heart it is well

Dandy1:


For pregnant people I'd like to give this advice:
It turned out the baby had been dead for over 48 hours before today. For a set of monozygotic twins(sharing same sac),the doctors thought it's a miracle there were no complications. To think we still went for checkup on last week Monday when she felt pain overnight, where the doctor advised to opt for CS that it is safer as against what people think. Especially for multiple births. She said the babies were perfectly grown and were just waiting inside. That they will be fine if delivered right away. But my wife felt she could do it by herself. It's all good though we'll get over it. I'll start deleting those pictures from her phone and dispose of those double things we won't be needing so as to make it go away quick.

Thank God for your baby and wife. God will continue to keep them.

For the rest of us, always listen to the doctor, it can save lives.

You have a lot to be grateful for, you should grieve for the lost Boo but not too much because you gonna need the strength to take care of your bae and Boo......God will replenish your lost

odsniper2:
You have a lot to be grateful for, you should grieve for the lost Boo but not too much because you gonna need the strength to take care of your bae and Boo......God will replenish your lost

Replenish his loss? Dat one na curse now! Abeg check up the dictionary meaning of "replenish" and modify your post ASAP. @ OP, I reject that for you in JESUS name. Na your fortunes GOD go replenish, no be loss.

Congratulations once again.

Dandy1:


Thanks so much. It hurt more when I went home to get some stuffs in the baby room and saw all those things we bought in pairs. Cots, wardrobe,carriers, baby car seats, and the stroller which my baby just forced me to assemble the second one just yesterday evening. When she said she might give birth anytime soon.
For pregnant people I'd like to give this advice:
It turned out the baby had been dead for over 48 hours before today. For a set of monozygotic twins(sharing same sac),the doctors thought it's a miracle there were no complications. To think we still went for checkup on last week Monday when she felt pain overnight,where the doctor advised to opt for CS that it is safer as against what people think. Especially for multiple births. She said the babies were perfectly grown and were just waiting inside. That they will be fine if delivered right away. But my wife felt she could do it by herself. It's all good though we'll get over it. I'll start deleting those pictures from her phone and dispose of those double things we won't be needing so as to make it go away quick.

Dear OP, I totally feel your pain as I also passed through same dilemma 5months although mine was one baby with non to go home with, some Dr needs to be jailed for causing ones lose. I was made to believe that government hospitals aren't trustworthy when it comes to lives and hubby and I decided to register in a private hospital when I took
in. After 4months of ante natal we had to relocate
and the need for a change of hospital came up,
although before that the hospital mis diagnosed my
blood group. I am B- and I knew I was to take
Rhogam injection after delivery. The hospital carried
out the test twice and told me I am B+ but I never
accepted it.
When we changed to the new private hospital at
Okota, that was the first test they ran and my blood
group was confirmed to be B- and when we looked
around, they had all the facilities so we decided to
settle for them
Fast forward to 3months later, I was 7months gone
and I started showing signs of infection, I asked to
be treated and the Dr who said he had 17 years
medical experience asked me to buy Skineal and
apply. I asked if he could give m drug he said it
wasn't necessary. A month later the infection
became worse and hubby had to go with me to
request for treatment and that was when he gave
me anti biotics and am insertion tablet and he
asked me to come the next day for swab test. I got
prepared and went, unknown to me, the nurse
wanted to use am unsterilized instrument on me, it
was the Dr who came and stopped the procedure
and asked me to go home and the swab was
cancelled saying they weren't ready. This was in my
36weeks, then we thought of changing hospital but
to us we felt it was too late as they were the only
ones with my medical history.
Well with all that happened I ended up losing my
daughter at 39weeks during delivery. She was
active before birth, the main Dr had travelled and
his assistant was left to take the delivery. Him and
the two nurses left me during labour after checking
me and realised I had dilated to 4cm. After 5hours
of labour my daughter came out weak and the Dr
told us she had cord around her neck which caused
her death of which we didn't believe till date. She
was our first issue and above all the stitching
wasn't properly done, I had to go to another
hospital for that. Am glad i took the Rhogam and
hopefully another will come.Till date the Dr never
visited to show he cares ,kept giving excuses for
not coming and I asked him not to bother coming
after 6weeks. Its almost two months now and we
have moved on. I wrote this to help others
especially women please no matter how much it
will cost u look for the best,although people ask
why we didn't register in a government hospital, we
still know its cos of the bad stories we hear daily.
May the Lord deliver us from bad Drs that will cost
us our lives. Thank God are expecting again. OP be grateful to God u have one left, what if it were the two?

congrats to u sir, and d arrival of ur baby boo, may she bring nothing more dan joy, peace, wealth, good news and blessing into ur family IJN. evry disappointment is a blessing, n may u neva cry ovaany child IJN, all ur sorrows r gone foreva. happiness is ur portion, pls dnt b sad any more, bt treat dis beautiful gift frm God with so much love, and affection, for God taketh n he giveth.

Dandy1:


That would be Victor right? Small world

Yes. Victor.

helovesme:


You've said it all.

The medical team (gynaecologist, midwife, doctor and nurse) didn't try at all.

With multiples, between 36-38 weeks, they are scheduled for c-section. In some countries, the c-section is mandatory at that stage as no sane doctor will want to risk his reputation and supervise vaginal delivery for multiples at over 40 weeks.

The question you should ask is was she offered a CS or not? Did she accept or reject the offer? Did labour set in before the scheduled CS?
You really cannot force your decisions on patients. You can only let then know the risks involved, and let them make up their minds.
You as a health personnelle will just document your discussions.
Nigeria is a country that has so many strong cultural and religious beliefs regarding pregnancy, labour and child birth. It's hard for some people to part from such beliefs.

SirVintageCock:
Nigerian pastors are tackfully riding on gullible and ignorant Nigerians using their ingenious religious brainwashing to rake in money for their posh lifestyles. If you believe in God then why is it hard to believe that he also made medical science to make life easier for his people. In fact, I don't understand sha, but I refuse to be ignorant and clueless.
Just some days ago, a doctor needed to have friend's son transfused with at least a pint of whole blood but this guy rather than hustling for the money opted to have his pastor invoked some sort of Jesus blood for his son to drink or something. Had to tell him that if this boy dies here amma tell the whole world that he use him for rituals. This had his brain reformatted and necessary arrangement was made, boy was transfused, 24 hours later we were home chilling with a bottle of wine and some nice stuffed chicken praising God. You've got brilliant people with half of their brain wired to their pastors .

CS seems to be alien to us.
I have seen several educated young people who have opted to go the traditional route to turn their breech baby in order to avoid CS and it has always ended badly.
There's some sort of mistrust our people seem to have towards modern medicine.
In some cultures, women that birth through CS are not seen as real women, but this even has nothing to do with the Hebrew woman chant, but rather a cultural thing. In some cultures, if you dare cry out in pain during labour, you are not seen as a true woman and will not be given a cow. So many customs attached to pregnancy, labour.
Even blood transfusion seem to be such a big deal to some, and they would rather explore other options like drinking ugwu leaves with malt and milk to build the blood for someone that needs blood immediately.
When it comes to the issue of children/sick people and health care, the parent/carer may not always act in the best interest of the child/sick. Some out of ignorance, some stupidity and some out of confusion.

Mr man pls be grateful, much as it is not easy take a grip on yourself for the family. I don't know how much I envy you and your wife. I have been married for almost five years now, without pregnancy, no labour, no push and no delivery....worse yet I have no hope of having a child, not because I'm faithless, but because I have lost hope in faith itself. All I can say is be thankful, its a faithful situation.