Tough love is a hard and sometimes sad road we must walk down. It is a process we use when we need to step away from control or stop our desire to help a loved one who has become too dependent on drugs or alcohol. It could also be used for a person who just needs a huge wake-up call when they are very self-destructive.

With tough love, there is always a lesson that will be learned, and unfortunately it is learned the hard way. Most unhealthy relationships have a care giver and a dependent party, whether this is a friendship, a parent/child relationship or a romantic relationship. When the caretaker has had enough, is drained emotionally, physically or financially by the dependent party…a step taken backward by the care giver is taken to let the dependent fall on their face. This step taken backwards usually leads to a huge jump forward. The dependent one is shown that he needs to take charge of his own life. Tough love can be “sink or swim” and a heart-wrenching situation to endure. But when the swimmer rises from the depths of his dependence and becomes fully his own person, it is a win-win for both individuals.

So what do you do when you find yourself stuck between a rock and a hard place with someone you love? How do you take two steps backward to help them bounce forward?

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