One of the most painful natural experience a human being go through is childbearing. Most men will respect there wives more if they stay with them during the their time of labour through childbirth.

My concern is just that when you visit our maternity ward especially during child delivery sessions, the kind of unholy cries, wail and curses that come out of most women is appalling. You will wonder where decency and self control ran off to.

When the average White woman is delivering a baby you will hardly hear a sound. I guess it is modernization because in the past at least I know that Yoruba women don't throw up noisy tantrums. Many of them five birth on their way from the farm, .

I actually coached my wife before our babies were born. Some of the lessons are:
1. You may not be able to do anything about the pain, but you can do something about how you react to the pain.
2. Instead of verbal tantrums grab something, squeeze something even if its your lips.
3. Breathing techniques to ventilate the blood so that you don't get tired on time.
4. Faith: it is well, you won't die! Several women have passed through the same situation 3-4 times, you are not alone.
5. Screaming and shouting WILL not reduce the pain.

My wife succeeded in this mission. Thrice, I have not been disappointed. I was in the delivery room with her during the delivery of our last baby. God is wonderful. Women are trying.

To the guys out there, don't leave your wife to face it all alone. You can give her moral and psychological pep up.

Ladies, Your Experience ?
It might help others

Coming to nairaland to ask ds questn wen ur mother is still alive, is a stupidity

hmmmmm I don't believe this not crying thing to show u r strong.just holding it in,d pain n all that to appear strong abi wat is not for me.Depends on how the labour comes, different strokes for different folks. My first daughter I cried, I was not wailing n cussing my husband n his family as some women r in d habit of doing ooo after all na me n him do the work.I prayed out loud,sang praises to God n CRIED cos d pain was undescribable. But for my second pregnancy even my husband never knew when my labour started.I was checking myself n doing my household chores till I knew I was dilated enof for d nurses then I told him.The pain was there but experience had taught me how to handle n endure.Even if I will deliver like d Hebrew women,it doesn't main they didn't feel pain during childbirth, a baby coming out from your body must be painful just that it will be without complications. To women trusting God to experience child birth, u will experience it soon in Jesus name.

youngest85:
Coming to nairaland to ask ds questn wen ur mother is still alive, is a stupidity

Are you not going to marry a woman? Would you want a Spartan or a Squawk woman?

If you are under 20 this post is not for you

Rehil:
hmmmmm I don't believe this not crying thing to show u r strong.just holding it in,d pain n all that to appear strong abi wat is not for me.Depends on how the labour comes, different strokes for different folks. My first daughter I cried, I was not wailing n cussing my husband n his family as some women r in d habit of doing ooo after all na me n him do the work.I prayed out loud,sang praises to God n CRIED cos d pain was undescribable. But for my second pregnancy even my husband never knew when my labour started.I was checking myself n doing my household chores till I knew I was dilated enof for d nurses then I told him.The pain was there but experience had taught me how to handle n endure.Even if I will deliver like d Hebrew women,it doesn't main they didn't feel pain during childbirth, a baby coming out from your body must be painful just that it will be without complications. To women trusting God to experience child birth, u will experience it soon in Jesus name.

Anyone who says childbirths are not extremely painful does not know what he is talking about.

Managing the pain in normal pregnancies may need adequate preparation

Yes they must cry during childbirth because their role model snitched on God.

shadeyinka:


My concern is just that when you visit our maternity ward especially during child delivery sessions, the kind of unholy cries, wail and curses that come out of most women is appalling. You will wonder where decency and self control ran off to.

When the average White woman is delivering a baby you will hardly hear a sound. I guess it is modernization because in the past at least I know that Yoruba women don't throw up noisy tantrums.

SMH

Cutehector:
Yes they must cry during childbirth because their role model snitched on God.

Hi
You know that's not a fair statement. It is a painful experience no body can deny that

Hnmmnmmm

shadeyinka:

When the average White woman is delivering a baby you will hardly hear a sound. I guess it is modernization because in the past at least I know that Yoruba women don't throw up noisy tantrums. Many of them five birth on their way from the farm, .

Actually, it's called EPIDURAL!!!

Honestly, I don't think you have a right to comment on childbirth, seeing as you are a man and can NEVER imagine how it feels.

People have different thresholds fro pain, and your wife has an exceptionally high one, good for her. It's same way some women can endure abuse in their marriages, and for others it's a deal breaker.

I used to pride myself that I could stand pain, (I've had the practice of SEVERE menstrual pains almost all my life), but NOTHING could prepare me for the pains of childbirth.

When I had my first baby, I didn't scream or throw tantrums or anything, but I felt unimaginable pains . . . words can't even begin to describe it. Of course my husband thought I was a champ, but I was fighting my inner demons alone . . . didn't want the poor man to feel worse than he already felt for 'putting me through all that troubles'. My MIL couldn't stop saying how 'strong' I was . . . . My mum was awfully PROUD!! But after the experience i was terribly traumatized and SCARRED psychologically for a LONG time (maybe I should have screamed and let the pains roam free. ) . . . I couldn't even braid my hair without bursting into tears from the pain

Of course that was the first and last time I went through labour without Epidural.

Ujoan:


Actually, it's called EPIDURAL!!!

Honestly, I don't think you have a right to comment on childbirth, seeing as you are a man and can NEVER imagine how it feels.

People have different thresholds fro pain, and your wife has an exceptionally high one, good for her. It's same way some women can endure abuse in their marriages, and for others it's a deal breaker.

I used to pride myself that I could stand pain, (I've had the practice of SEVERE menstrual pains almost all my life), but NOTHING could prepare me for the pains of childbirth.

When I had my first baby, I didn't scream or throw tantrums or anything, but I felt unimaginable pains . . . words can't even begin to describe it. Of course my husband thought I was a champ, but I was fighting my inner demons alone . . . didn't want the poor man to feel worse than he already felt for 'putting me through all that troubles'. My MIL couldn't stop saying how 'strong' I was . . . . My mum was awfully PROUD!! But after the experience i was terribly traumatized and SCARRED psychologically for a LONG time (maybe I should have screamed and let the pains roam free. ) . . . I couldn't even braid my hair without bursting into tears from the pain

Of course that was the first and last time I went through labour without Epidural.

Yes, I guess I speak from the point of view of my success in programming my wife. Till tomorrow, she still keep on thanking me for the coaching.

Actually the truth is that the pain is unimaginable especially for us guys and pregnancies are not the same.

Like you said, you had to fight that inner demon called epidural. Screaming would not lessen the pain, not screaming too will not reduce the pain. But we can still within the pain have a measure of control.

My wife told me of the special kind of pain a woman recieves if she is given this drip (can't remember its name) to induce labour.

I cannot fully understand, but I wish to help alleviate FEARS associated with the pain of delivery. Accepting the reality of PAIN without the FEAR. Fear makes us loose control.

The key is not Screaming or throwing up Tantrums while bearingbthe pain to the best of ones ability

Thanks for your comment. Educative!

Wailing is acceptable because the procedure is painful, but curses? Not fair (unless we are referring to a rap.e-induced pregnancy here).

A Human body can bear only up to 45 del (units) of pain. Yet at time of giving birth, a mother feels up to 57 Del (units) of pain. This is similar to 20 bones getting fractured at the same time. 800 women die during child birth everyday, that's why it takes the grace of God for a woman to have a safe delivery. I believe child birth is a self sacrifice in order for humanity to stay in existence and not extinct. Women do contribute and sacrifice a lot to humanity

shadeyinka:


Yes, I guess I speak from the point of view of my success in programming my wife. Till tomorrow, she still keep on thanking me for the coaching.

Actually the truth is that the pain is unimaginable especially for us guys and pregnancies are not the same.

Like you said, you had to fight that inner demon called epidural. Screaming would not lessen the pain, not screaming too will not reduce the pain. But we can still within the pain have a measure of control.

My wife told me of the special kind of pain a woman recieves if she is given this drip (can't remember its name) to induce labour.

I cannot fully understand, but I wish to help alleviate FEARS associated with the pain of delivery. Accepting the reality of PAIN without the FEAR. Fear makes us loose control.

The key is not Screaming or throwing up Tantrums while bearing the pain to the best of ones ability

Thanks for your comment. Educative!

Sorry, but you mis-understood. Epidural is an anesthesia . . . It helps you go through labour with ZERO PAIN! I only got that during my second delivery which was a very wonderful experience . . .

The inner-demons I had to fight during my first was the PAIN . . . it was extremely unbearable and because I wasn't the dramatic type, I refrained from screaming and bottled it all up inside. Kind of complicated the whole thing.

It's worse when labour is induced, because of the HOT DRIP . . . extremely painful! Most women with naturally progressive labour don't go through as much pain. That's' why MOST second pregnancies are considered less painful because by then, labour progresses at an easy and steady pace.

But first pregnancies are terrible, most women get HOT DRIPs for their first delivery.

Me sha, hot drip or not, I'm Never going through labour again without Epidural!

Acidosis:
Wailing is acceptable because the procedure is painful, but curses? Not fair (unless we are referring to a rap.e-induced pregnancy here).

Why wail? Why not use other form of pain management techniques.

Remember as a child, it was automatic for us to cry when beaten but as we grew up, we realized that as children, we cry even before the cane lands on us and we learnt to be brave and absorb the pain as bestbas we could.

Don't get me wrong, my example is nowhere near the pain of childbirth but the same psychology could be applied.



Ladies, be Brave in confronting the pain.
Be in control in spite of the pain.
The pain is real and nothing you do will take it away.
Be Brave my beautiful Sisters

theEYe21:
A Human body can bear only up to 45 del (units) of pain. Yet at time of giving birth, a mother feels up to 57 Del (units) of pain. This is similar to 20 bones getting fractured at the same time. 800 women die during child birth everyday, that's why it takes the grace of God for a woman to have a safe delivery. I believe child birth is a self sacrifice in order for humanity to stay in existence and not extinct. Women do contribute and sacrifice a lot to humanity

I agree with you. It takes only a woman who has gone through it to qualify it.

Men should value this aspect of womanhood.

I normally say that if men were to be the ones who go through labour, the human race would have been extinct by now.

Kudos to the ladies.

Be Brave and be in control to the best of your ability: you can do all things..

Ujoan:


Sorry, but you mis-understood. Epidural is an anesthesia . . . It helps you go through labour with ZERO PAIN! I only got that during my second delivery which was a very wonderful experience . . .

The inner-demons I had to fight during my first was the PAIN . . . it was extremely unbearable and because I wasn't the dramatic type, I refrained from screaming and bottled it all up inside. Kind of complicated the whole thing.

It's worse when labour is induced, because of the HOT DRIP . . . extremely painful! Most women with naturally progressive labour don't go through as much pain. That's' why MOST second pregnancies are considered less painful because by then, labour progresses at an easy and steady pace.

But first pregnancies are terrible, most women get HOT DRIPs for their first delivery.

Me sha, hot drip or not, I'm Never going through labour again without Epidural!

I could not help but to laugh at myself. I was hoping to join you in speaking some jaw breaking English vocabulary like epidural....sorry for me. I only know of episiotomy (I hope the spelling is OK).

I hope my ignorance is forgiven. I actually wanted to refer to the inner demon of PAIN (kai big English go kill person o).

I refrained from screaming and bottled it all up inside. Kind of complicated the whole thing.

This above is the point. You felt like screaming but you consciously refrained yourself: not because it wasn't painful but by some inner will and power you held yourself. That is the point I am making.

The pain should not induce a temporary madness but a resolve to waitnit out.

Some labour can last for more than 12 hours straight.

It may be good for women to know the expected phase of cramps during delivery. Like you said, nothing really prepares you for your first baby.

I remember when my cousin sister was asked to push. She said, how do I do it? Thank God that even with her ignorance, God has programmed the body to just know what to do at the point of push.

I respect you mothers. No wonder mothers are more attached to their children; there is a kind of bond that fathersbwill never know

shadeyinka:


I could not help but to laugh at myself. I was hoping to join you in speaking some jaw breaking English vocabulary like epidural....sorry for me. I only know of episiotomy (I hope the spelling is OK).

I hope my ignorance is forgiven. I actually wanted to refer to the inner demon of PAIN (kai big English go kill person o).

Lol
All na part of Epi . . .
But they are quite different . . episiotomy is the stitch women get after a tear during delivery. That one na another pain magnet.

shadeyinka:


I remember when my cousin sister was asked to push. She said, how do I do it? Thank God that even with her ignorance, God has programmed the body to just know what to do at the point of push.
I respect you mothers. No wonder mothers are more attached to their children; there is a kind of bond that fathersbwill never know

I actually asked the same question ooh . Since nobody told me before then nah.

Ujoan:

Lol
All na part of Epi . . .
But they are quite different . . episiotomy is the stitch women get after a tear during delivery. That one na another pain magnet.

Na try o! And the man is ready to do again after 1 month.

Sometimes I wonder if technology advanced to a point where doctors can grow foetus in the incubator, would women still choose natural pregnancy?

The back pains in the last trimester is another thing entirely

youngest85:
Coming to nairaland to ask ds questn wen ur mother is still alive, is a stupidity

Don't just rush to post a comment before reading a thread. Read, If you wish to drop a comment, read again. If you don't, kindly pass by. Hurling insults at people you don't even know is not nice.

Desdemona:


Don't just rush to post a comment before reading a thread. Read, If you wish to drop a comment, read again. If you don't, kindly pass by. Hurling insults at people you don't even know is not nice.

Preach on pastor!

Make she wail if she want o,dem no dey arrest any woman in labour for wailing.
It's a way to get some relief,let out some steam.

They say the Hebrew women were so strong they didn't scream while giving birth - they would also stand up and take their infants home immediately after.

In my opinion, I think it has something to do with living a hard life of consistent farming...this just naturally makes one develop a high threshold for pain, as it was also with our grandmothers and great-grandmothers.

The women of Generation X and above are just soft jor—over feeding and over pampering...lol
Where will the strength come from to withstand pain?

If dem neva bite, pinch their husband, or pull the hand of one innocent nurse, the baby won't come out o.

Ujoan:

Lol
All na part of Epi . . .
But they are quite different . . episiotomy is the stitch women get after a tear during delivery. That one na another pain magnet.



I actually asked the same question ooh . Since nobody told me before then nah. T

You know even as a man I tried to imagine how it is to push. God is wonderful. Most women just instinctively know how to at the last minute.

Shouldn't there be a forum for teaching young married women how to brath properly during labour? Cases of tiredness would be reduced.

thorpido:
Make she wail if she want o,dem no dey arrest any woman in labour for wailing.
It's a way to get some relief,let out some steam.

Ask the ladies who are "wailers": Does wailing reduce the pain? Or does wailing make the pain more bearable?

crackhaus:
They say the Hebrew women were so strong they didn't scream while giving birth - they would also stand up and take their infants home immediately after.

In my opinion, I think it has something to do with living a hard life of consistent farming...this just naturally makes one develop a high threshold for pain, as it was also with our grandmothers and great-grandmothers.

The women of Generation X and above are just soft jor—over feeding and over pampering...lol
Where will the strength come from to withstand pain?

If dem neva bite, pinch their husband, or pull the hand of one innocent nurse, the baby won't come out o.

LOL!
Na true you talk. Even in Yoruba villages a pregnant woman is trapped on the farm with birth pangs. She kneels down with one knee squats with the other and support her baby as she pushed it out.

I agree they are more rugged than we city guys.

shadeyinka:


LOL!
Na true you talk. Even in Yoruba villages a pregnant woman is trapped on the farm with birth pangs. She kneels down with one knee squats with the other and support her baby as she pushed it out.

I agree they are more rugged than we city guys.

Much more rugged I tell ya.

shadeyinka:


You know even as a man I tried to imagine how it is to push. God is wonderful. Most women just instinctively know how to at the last minute.

Shouldn't there be a forum for teaching young married women how to brath properly during labour? Cases of tiredness would be reduced.

Yeah, that's what ante-natal classes are for. But I registered in a Private Hospital where they put more emphasis on Praying/preaching, than actually preparing women for delivery. Antenatal classes were more like crusades and eventually, I just didn't bother with them anymore. Just went on normal clinic days for check-up.

I'm not sure women know how to push without being told oh . . . Biko who'd actually think 'pushing' a baby was actually done the same way you'd 'push' out hard poo poo . . . I mean they don't even come out from the same hole

Abeg make I go before I give these our teenage friends HBP!

crackhaus:
They say the Hebrew women were so strong they didn't scream while giving birth - they would also stand up and take their infants home immediately after.

In my opinion, I think it has something to do with living a hard life of consistent farming...this just naturally makes one develop a high threshold for pain, as it was also with our grandmothers and great-grandmothers.

The women of Generation X and above are just soft jor—over feeding and over pampering...lol
Where will the strength come from to withstand pain?

If dem neva bite, pinch their husband, or pull the hand of one innocent nurse, the baby won't come out o.

My grandma would agree with you to some extent but she says women were stronger because they had enough flesh on their bones and didn't look as anorexic as we do today.

Let's not forget how many women died in the course or as a consequence of child birth and how many infants as well. And let's remember how old they looked in their 30s and how attractive some women today can be way past their 40s.

crackhaus:
They say the Hebrew women were so strong they didn't scream while giving birth - they would also stand up and take their infants home immediately after.

In my opinion, I think it has something to do with living a hard life of consistent farming...this just naturally makes one develop a high threshold for pain, as it was also with our grandmothers and great-grandmothers.

The women of Generation X and above are just soft jor—over feeding and over pampering...lol
Where will the strength come from to withstand pain?

If dem neva bite, pinch their husband, or pull the hand of one innocent nurse, the baby won't come out o.

SMH!

Mindfulness:


My grandma would agree with you to some extent but she says women were stronger because they had enough flesh on their bones and didn't look as anorexic as we do today.

Let's not forget how many women died in the course or as a consequence of child birth and how many infants as well. And let's remember how old they looked in their 30s and how attractive some women today can be way past their 40s.

I couldn't have said this any better . . .

Ujoan:


I couldn't have said this any better . . .