eyinjuege:
The Op knows nothing about pain.

I however know your type- that suddenly breaks into a sweat all over and starts feeling faint because they want to pass a needle in your arm to take blood for tests.

It's very easy to type and tell us how such a wonderful coach you were over your keyboard.

I personally cannot take you or your advice seriously until you tell me what kind of pain YOU have personally experienced otherwise.............

TheArchangel:
Our female ancestors did not have such privilege of topnotch natal care. There are lots of faults in human anatomy especially in female which manifest during child birth.
There is Cephalopelvic disproportion, a major complication during labour whereby there is a disproportion between the fetal head and the maternal pelvis which is managed by either symphisiotomy, use of obstetric forcep or C-section. Seeing a woman in obvious physical distress labouring for hours only to find out that her pelvic canal is too small for her baby is an agonising experience. .

armyofone:
Moved pelvic bones ?
That is a lifetime of permanent pain requiring therapy.

The Female Pelvis and its Design for Labor

The four bones of the pelvis are joined by ligaments that soften and stretch during birth allowing the pelvic outlet to widen and enable the baby to pass through.
The symphosis pubis is the joint at the front between the two hip bones. They are joined with a pad of cartilage.

During pregnancy, hormones cause the ligaments soften and stretch causing a slight separation of the joints, which allows flexibility for the baby's head to pass through during birth. Sometimes pregnant women may experience some pelvic pain and discomfort as a result of this loosening of the joints.
At the back of the bony cradle are the sacrum and the coccyx.

The sacro iliac joints, where the strongest ligaments in the body are situated, are often quite strained during the last part of pregnancy and this may cause lower back ache.

http://www.pregnancy-and-giving-birth.com/female-pelvis.html

shadeyinka:


I understand your defensive position. The post is not to display an iota of superiority over what women go through in childbirth.

Do women all over the world wail and scream during deliveries? No! It just simply means that a woman can have some measure of control in spite of the great pain.

Which is better as a form of advice to a younger woman:
1. Childbirth is painful oh, be afraid there is nothing you can do about cursing, wailing and tantrums
OR
2. Childbirth can be very painful, but don't be afraid because in spite of the pain you can choose to moderate your reactions.

The pain is real no doubt but we can all still learn to cope with how we react to it.

Don't we take advice from Male medical doctors with no experience in pregnancy?

TheArchangel:
Our female ancestors did not have such privilege of topnotch natal care. There are lots of faults in human anatomy especially in female which manifest during child birth.
There is Cephalopelvic disproportion, a major complication during labour whereby there is a disproportion between the fetal head and the maternal pelvis which is managed by either symphisiotomy, use of obstetric forcep or C-section. Seeing a woman in obvious physical distress labouring for hours only to find out that her pelvic canal is too small for her baby is an agonising experience. .

shadeyinka:


No offence intended, I may not be perfectly qualified but I have a track record of success with my wife. She lectures young women with what I taught her.

Sometimes a psychological pep-up is what is required to bear the pain without wails and tantrums.

We were in our three pregnancies together. The greatest lesson is:
The Pain is real and strong
There is nothing you do that will reduce the pain
You can choose to temper your behavior when the contraction starts since wailing doesn't reduce the pain
Learn to breath properly during delivery

Let's not throw away the rational side over the emotional. They complement each other.

Would you rather encourage your younger sister to exercise some measure of control when the pain comes or to panic and scatter everywhere?

RiloKiley:


Both of u get a room already.
Sheesh!

eyinjuege:


Do all women in Nigeria scream during labour? The answer is no.

Do all women abroad not scream during labour? The answer is no.

Infact, most women abroad have pain killers steady during labour. I'm not talking of paracetamol ibuprofen o.
We're talking of pain relief that will make you like numb from the waist down, even if your given a cut or episiotomy you won't feel it- that's the epidural another poster was talking about. It's roughly about an extra $1000 if you want one and have no health insurance cover.

How many families in Nigeria can afford that kind of pain relief?

Some others inhale gases that just makes the pain disappear and even make you feel a bit high or even sleepy while still in labour.
So please, don't ever compare (when it comes to labour pains )Naija women with other women especially those abroad. Don't even go there at all.
Now comparing Naija women with each other, everybody's situation is different. Some have a smaller/tighter pelvis, some have bigger babies (you can't expect two women with similar size of pelvis but with babies weighing 2.5kg, and 4.0kg to have same progression of labour, the bigger baby will cause prolonged labour, and soon enough prolonged pain), some women need to have assisted deliveries where some kind of large instruments are pushed through their vagina to pull the baby out, such a person cannot have good stories of labour to tell especially where there's no pain relief.
Some women need to be given some injections in their drip to make the force of their contractions stronger, of course they'll have more pain.

I repeat, I can only listen to you if you can tell me how your measures of pain control has worked for you and the situation. A male Dr can advice you on pregnancy because he's gone through the basic training to do so. Funny enough, they know about pain control, and if it were affordable in Nigeria would always recommend epidural or at least the laughing gas in labour.

So your submission is at best elementary, not considering the individuals and their different surrounding circumstances.
You really cannot use the same yardstick for all women in labour.

Ujoan:


If I talknah, they will ban me again for another month.

But just know that I've said all the things I want to say to you. . . . . In my mind

Swissheart:
Hmmn....Labour/Childbirth pain no be here o
Those who experience serious menstrual pain/cramps every month know what they go through ,which is nothing to be compared with birth pain. However, body differs so how we manage the pain differs too. That your wife doesn't shout during labour doesn't make her stronger than a shouting one. A close friend of mine can shout ehn,she takes throat clearing sweet after delivery because she would have lost her voice during labour but outside labour room,trust me She is a strong woman.
There is no manual for this 'thing' oh. Shout if you can,murmur if you can....whatever make you feel better but don't curse your 'partner' .

Ishilove:

Panic and scatter everywhere. Shake the whole building to its foundation. It's called EMOTING. Giving expression to LIFE

Ishilove:

Don't mind him. While reading his provocative submission I wished I could reach across cyberspace, seize him by the scruff of his neck and shake him till all his teeth loosens

shadeyinka:


Yes, I guess I speak from the point of view of my success in programming my wife. Till tomorrow, she still keep on thanking me for the coaching.

Actually the truth is that the pain is unimaginable especially for us guys and pregnancies are not the same.

Like you said, you had to fight that inner demon called epidural . Screaming would not lessen the pain, not screaming too will not reduce the pain. But we can still within the pain have a measure of control.

My wife told me of the special kind of pain a woman recieves if she is given this drip (can't remember its name) to induce labour.

I cannot fully understand, but I wish to help alleviate FEARS associated with the pain of delivery. Accepting the reality of PAIN without the FEAR. Fear makes us loose control.

The key is not Screaming or throwing up Tantrums while bearingbthe pain to the best of ones ability

Thanks for your comment. Educative!

shadeyinka:


I fear you o!
I have just ordered a bullet proof vest just because of you + odenshi LOL

I am for you ladies with my full respect!

I just have reasons to believe that the seemingly excessive reactions by some women is cultural.

If you know any nurse that has taken delivery of Fulani women you will just wonder? Are they a special breed of human beings and no, I don't think it is about drinking concussions. It is about mind set!

You cannot miss the expression of serious pains on their faces but they are not used to verbalising it with reckless abandon.

Same with Yoruba women who give birth on their way from the farm. They simply help themself.

I know an unmarried girl who got pregnant out of wedlock, she kept the pregnancy secret and she delivered noiselessly by herself obviously with the thought of abandoning the baby. She delivered herself in UNILORIN female hostel bathroom.

Did she feel the pain? Yes!
Did she control her reaction to pain? Yes!
How? She let reason override emotional reaction for she must not be discovered.

Now, that is the point. To encourage my sisters that even though the pain is excruciating it is still possible to manage positively your reactions to the pain.

shadeyinka:


I fear you o!
I have just ordered a bullet proof vest just because of you + odenshi LOL

I am for you ladies with my full respect!

I just have reasons to believe that the seemingly excessive reactions by some women is cultural.

If you know any nurse that has taken delivery of Fulani women you will just wonder? Are they a special breed of human beings and no, I don't think it is about drinking concussions. It is about mind set!

You cannot miss the expression of serious pains on their faces but they are not used to verbalising it with reckless abandon.

Same with Yoruba women who give birth on their way from the farm. They simply help themself.

I know an unmarried girl who got pregnant out of wedlock, she kept the pregnancy secret and she delivered noiselessly by herself obviously with the thought of abandoning the baby. She delivered herself in UNILORIN female hostel bathroom.

Did she feel the pain? Yes!
Did she control her reaction to pain? Yes!
How? She let reason override emotional reaction for she must not be discovered.

Now, that is the point. To encourage my sisters that even though the pain is excruciating it is still possible to manage positively your reactions to the pain.

TheArchangel:
I am going to kick you in the scrotum one of this days and you dare not wail and scream to your mama, you sado-narcissius specimen of male specie.

cococandy:
The inner demon called epidural. Lol

You're so innocent

Ishilove:

Lol. Okay I get your point although I don't think everyone can follow it. Like someone said every woman has a different pain threshold.

I have a bosom friend who mentally prepped like you are suggesting and she was able to keep her cool for sometime. She told me when she got to a certain threshold she lost and began singing opera mezzato.

This is someone who always fought boys when we were in high school and could receive hot lashes of cane without blinking an eye.

All that was forgotten in the labour room. The truth is you can only mentally and psychologically prepare for the experience but what happens afterwards is unpredictable.

TheArchangel:
I am going to kick you in the scrotum one of this days and you dare not wail and scream to your mama, you sado-narcissius specimen of male specie.

Omoluabi16:
And some men would still not appreciate their wives for having a girl child? . . .when she went through the same labour. women could be nagging, a pain in the neck and all. . but they are champions. I couldn't deal with 'monthly visitor' for like 30 years of my life with the cramps and all. Labour is one scary thing. All us male folks do is pump and wait for our bundle 9months later. O.p let them cry, wail, roar or do anything. None of us can imagine the pain they go through. I believe crying eases pain.

Ujoan:


Sorry, but you mis-understood. Epidural is an anesthesia . . . It helps you go through labour with ZERO PAIN! I only got that during my second delivery which was a very wonderful experience . . .

The inner-demons I had to fight during my first was the PAIN . . . it was extremely unbearable and because I wasn't the dramatic type, I refrained from screaming and bottled it all up inside. Kind of complicated the whole thing.

It's worse when labour is induced, because of the HOT DRIP . . . extremely painful! Most women with naturally progressive labour don't go through as much pain. That's' why MOST second pregnancies are considered less painful because by then, labour progresses at an easy and steady pace.

But first pregnancies are terrible, most women get HOT DRIPs for their first delivery.

Me sha, hot drip or not, I'm Never going through labour again without Epidural!

michymeg:
Did your second delivery take place in a Nigerian hospital?

crackhaus:

You scared of a ban?

The things you said in your mind...if na so so bad things, back to sender.

shadeyinka:


I agree with everything you said except your last sentence.

A man doesn't have a right to discriminate over the sex of a baby.

The worst in pregnancy I think is the last trimester of pregnancy when a woman can hardly have a good night sleep, back pains, etc. You look at your husband and he is snoring on the bed!

But thebtruth is that crying doesn't ease any pain. In fact nothing eases the pain except medical intervention.

Our reactions to pain however could be tempered from being uncontrollable reactions is the point.

Being lucky to have a good husband gives some psychological advantage in delivery

shadeyinka:


I get your point. At least there was a measure of preparation from your friend ant that is the most important thing: PREPARATION!

This is what I advocate.


If she hadn't prepared a little she would have sung Wailing Sonata, Tantrum Allegro and Verbal Diarrhoea Opera.

Ujoan:


Actually crying and screaming may not ease the pain, but it's certainly therapeutic. It's a way of coping with the pain.

Kind of like crying when you lose someone dear to you. I certainly won't bring them back, but it will help you release the pain . . . At least to an extent.

Ishilove:

From her descriptions it was Adagio in C-Minor

Followed closely by rousing falsetto

shadeyinka:


Your sense of humour is amusingly crescendo and filled with staccato andante.

You should consider joining basketmouth, AY and Alibaba. LOL

shadeyinka:


Yes crying is therapeutic, but there are two modes of crying:
Verbal Crying and Non Verbal Crying

I am in 100%support of non verbal crying.

Wailing is a kind of verbal crying: to me, it is culturally induced. Compare how the whites cope with bereavement and how africans in general cope.

The whites are less vocal than African women when it comes to handling bereavements. It doesn't mean that whites don't feel the pain of loss. Its just a cultural thing

shadeyinka:
One of the most painful natural experience a human being go through is childbearing. Most men will respect there wives more if they stay with them during the their time of labour through childbirth.

My concern is just that when you visit our maternity ward especially during child delivery sessions, the kind of unholy cries, wail and curses that come out of most women is appalling. You will wonder where decency and self control ran off to.

When the average White woman is delivering a baby you will hardly hear a sound. I guess it is modernization because in the past at least I know that Yoruba women don't throw up noisy tantrums. Many of them five birth on their way from the farm, .

I actually coached my wife before our babies were born. Some of the lessons are:
1. You may not be able to do anything about the pain, but you can do something about how you react to the pain.
2. Instead of verbal tantrums grab something, squeeze something even if its your lips.
3. Breathing techniques to ventilate the blood so that you don't get tired on time.
4. Faith: it is well, you won't die! Several women have passed through the same situation 3-4 times, you are not alone.
5. Screaming and shouting WILL not reduce the pain.

My wife succeeded in this mission. Thrice, I have not been disappointed. I was in the delivery room with her during the delivery of our last baby. God is wonderful. Women are trying.

To the guys out there, don't leave your wife to face it all alone. You can give her moral and psychological pep up.

Ladies, Your Experience ?
It might help others