In Nigeria, one hardly see a married man following his wife for antenatal examinations at the hospital.

Would it be OK if men are compelled to be by their wives during childbirth?

Wouldn't this make the men appreciate their wives more?

What's your reaction to this?

Compelled?
Not everyone can stand the sight of blood or the trauma of childbirth.It doesn't mean they don't love or care about their wives.

thorpido:
Compelled?
Not everyone can stand the sight of blood or the trauma of childbirth.It doesn't mean they don't love or care about their wives.

Aren't a man supposed to be a MAN? Facing up to his responsibilities.

Did he not impregnate his wife, why should he allow the woman alone to stand the sight of her own blood!

LOL

I understand for most responsible men it not actually about the blood but the feeling of helplessness. There is nothing you can do then to help your wife.

Men would probably help do the delivery of their child for their wives if they could

Yes! They should be in the delivery room with their wife, so that they can know and feel what it is for their wife to sacrifice her life for the husband to be a proud father....for the husband to see child birth as a great sacrifice not a duty. This will make the husband to respect the wife more and feel responsible.

theEYe21:
Yes! They should be in the delivery room with their wife, so that they can know and feel what it is for their wife to sacrifice her life for the husband to be a proud father....for the husband to see child birth as a great sacrifice not a duty. This will make the husband to respect the wife more and feel responsible.

I agree 100percent.

In my own case, that won't be necessary. He will still appreciate what we created together whether he's there in the delivery room or not.
I'll prefer to do it on my own.

Women have been staying among themselves in this situation for hundreds of years and even though I am not a traditionalist, I prefer to have an experienced woman around (family member or friend) in this moment.

I believe that men should be free to choose.

My mother told me never to enter a delivery room before I have given birth myself. She said it can be traumatic. I also know a man who actually suffered from trauma after witnessing the birth of his child. The marriage broke down as a result.

Don't force people to do what they feel they cannot do. They will be of no help and it may have severe consequences.

theEYe21:
Yes! They should be in the delivery room with their wife, so that they can know and feel what it is for their wife to sacrifice her life for the husband to be a proud father....for the husband to see child birth as a great sacrifice not a duty. This will make the husband to respect the wife more and feel responsible.

I agree with you my sister. A friend with tears in his eyes vowed not to have another child again duringtheir first childs delivery.

It is an experience every man should have.

madamGift:


I agree 100percent.

I concur!

southernbelle:
In my own case, that won't be necessary. He will still appreciate what we created together whether he's there in the delivery room or not.
I'll prefer to do it on my own.

Thank God for a good husband, then you have an obligation not to take him forgranted. I still think its a good experience for him though.

Mindfulness:
Women have been staying among themselves in this situation for hundreds of years and even though I am not a traditionalist, I prefer to have an experienced woman around (family member or friend) in this moment.

I believe that men should be free to choose.

My mother told me never to enter a delivery room before I have given birth myself. She said it can be traumatic. I also know a man who actually suffered from trauma after witnessing the birth of his child. The marriage broke down as a result.

Don't force people to do what they feel they cannot do. They will be of no help and it may have severe consequences.

I am hearing that for the first time: pregnancy trauma induced divorce! Something else was the problem.

But I agree, some men go through deep traumas on watching their wife put to bed.

We get liver pass each other o! Big masculine look is not a factor. The major problem of men I think is the complete helplessness they feel. There is nothing they do that can change the situation of the pains their wives go through.

They cannot be compelled; they can only be encouraged to be with wives for moral support. It does give room for the men to appreciate their wives better but then not everyone can stand seeing the people they love go through such excruciating pain.

shadeyinka:


Aren't a man supposed to be a MAN? Facing up to his responsibilities.

Did he not impregnate his wife, why should he allow the woman alone to stand the sight of her own blood!

LOL

I understand for most responsible men it not actually about the blood but the feeling of helplessness. There is nothing you can do then to help your wife.

Men would probably help do the delivery of their child for their wives if they could

Not staying in the labour room doesn't make a man not to be 'man enough'.

Well,it's her blood.

Some men will probably kill the baby in the process of delivery if they were involved in the process.
Do you know that some doctors are not even involved in the delivery of their own babies?

My hubby has to stand by me during childbirth oh. Me that even fantasizes about home abi water birth what will he now do? Leave me and stay outside? Is it not the two of us that moaned together? So why would he let me groan alone.... Even if the guy succeeds to escape, I'd find another way in the middle of the birth to bring him back. What insolence

Staying with your wife during childbirth encourages things like
1.appreciating the wife and the wonders of a woman
2.fosters love and encouragement and togetherness
3.cut down any thoughts of been father Abraham or will I say Solomon
4. Been strong emotionally
5.creating the father child bond first and faster(not letting the nurse or doctor to be the one smiling down at your child first before you ) P.s, believe this at your own peril .




Datsall

Desdemona:
They cannot be compelled; they can only be encouraged to be with wives for moral support. It does give room for the men to appreciate their wives better but then not everyone can stand seeing the people they love go through such excruciating pain.

I agree. Not by compulsion but it would be nice if you ladies can request their presence in maybe your last delivery.

thorpido:
Not staying in the labour room doesn't make a man not to be 'man enough'.

Well,it's her blood.

Some men will probably kill the baby in the process of delivery if they were involved in the process.
Do you know that some doctors are not even involved in the delivery of their own babies?

The first post was just a pun.

I agree with you that it is possible to do more damage if one is emotionally involved.

As a doctor, you are not allowed to operate a close relation except there is no other competent hand around.

I have heard of a man who fainted on seeing the blood coming out of the wife. I think she had a tear

mysticgal:
My hubby has to stand by me during childbirth oh. Me that even fantasizes about home abi water birth what will he now do? Leave me and stay outside? Is it not the two of us that moaned together? So why would he let me groan alone.... Even if the guy succeeds to escape, I'd find another way in the middle of the birth to bring him back. What insolence

Staying with your wife during childbirth encourages things like
1.appreciating the wife and the wonders of a woman
2.fosters love and encouragement and togetherness
3.cut down any thoughts of been father Abraham or will I say Solomon
4. Been strong emotionally
5.creating the father child bond first and faster(not letting the nurse or doctor to be the one smiling down at your child first before you ) P.s, believe this at your own peril .




Datsall

I couldn't help but chuckle at your post. I have a strong impression that you are not yet married.

The things you said can only come by cooperation. You must have discussed it well in advance.
Read books together: I can see that you read, but your husby too must be the reading kind willing to put itbinto practice.

Water birth?
Your mother in-law will roast you by fire except she doesn't know. You know how things work in our culture for your first baby almost the whole village will come to assist.

If you are not married yet, open your eyes o! Be able to distinguish between the important, nessesary and vague in a man. Inner stability and strength is important as well as a strong love for God. Since you read, find a man who loves knowledge o.

shadeyinka:


I couldn't help but chuckle at your post. I have a strong impression that you are not yet married.

The things you said can only come by cooperation. You must have discussed it well in advance.
Read books together: I can see that you read, but your husby too must be the reading kind willing to put itbinto practice.

Water birth?
Your mother in-law will roast you by fire except she doesn't know. You know how things work in our culture for your first baby almost the whole village will come to assist.

If you are not married yet, open your eyes o! Be able to distinguish between the important, nessesary and vague in a man. Inner stability and strength is important as well as a strong love for God. Since you read, find a man who loves knowledge o.

Yea, I am not married and dang.... How did you know I read? You are good

As to your advice, I'd take it whole heartedly... Thanks tho

mysticgal:

Yea, I am not married and dang.... How did you know I read? You are good

As to your advice, I'd take it whole heartedly... Thanks tho

Stay blessed

shadeyinka:


I am hearing that for the first time: pregnancy trauma induced divorce! Something else was the problem.

But I agree, some men go through deep traumas on watching their wife put to bed.

We get liver pass each other o! Big masculine look is not a factor. The major problem of men I think is the complete helplessness they feel. There is nothing they do that can change the situation of the pains their wives go through.

There is a lot that men can actually do to support their wives and in the preparation they can be taught what they can do and many women appreciate this kind of support. Today many midwives make husbands assist them and successfully so.

shadeyinka:

Stay blessed

Amen

Mindfulness:


There is a lot that men can actually do to support their wives and in the preparation they can be taught what they can do and many women appreciate this kind of support. Today many midwives make husbands assist them and successfully so.

I guess some small educative pamphlets could be distributed at the hospitals for both husbands and wives at least on what to expect duringbthe time of pregnancy.

There are some tips and tricks to solve some small problems during pregnancy.

Like many ladies don't know that chewing gum solvesbto a large extent the problem of spiting saliver duringbthe first trimester of pregnancy.

Ourbmajor problem in this part of the world is that we don't read

shadeyinka:

I guess some small educative pamphlets could be distributed at the hospitals for both husbands and wives at least on what to expect duringbthe time of pregnancy.

There are some tips and tricks to solve some small problems during pregnancy.

Like many ladies don't know that chewing gum solvesbto a large extent the problem of spiting saliver duringbthe first trimester of pregnancy.

Ourbmajor problem in this part of the world is that we don't read

Nicely said. Education is the solution to millions of problems.

mysticgal:
My hubby has to stand by me during childbirth oh. Me that even fantasizes about home abi water birth what will he now do? Leave me and stay outside? Is it not the two of us that moaned together? So why would he let me groan alone.... Even if the guy succeeds to escape, I'd find another way in the middle of the birth to bring him back. What insolence

Staying with your wife during childbirth encourages things like
1.appreciating the wife and the wonders of a woman
2.fosters love and encouragement and togetherness
3.cut down any thoughts of been father Abraham or will I say Solomon
4. Been strong emotionally
5.creating the father child bond first and faster(not letting the nurse or doctor to be the one smiling down at your child first before you ) P.s, believe this at your own peril .




Datsall

Mindfulness:


Nicely said. Education is the solution to millions of problems.

I perfectly agree.
My problem is that even those of us who graduated from a higher institution don't read beyond what it takes to pass their examinations.

God help this nation

shadeyinka:

I perfectly agree.
My problem is that even those of us who graduated from a higher institution don't read beyond whtbit takes to pass their examinations.

God help this nation

God's help is flowing to everyone all the time, just that some people are not ready to receive it.

Mindfulness:


God's help is flowing to everyone all the time, just that some people are not ready to receive it.

Is it laziness or cultural factor. When I compare us with the germans in terms of reading a just shake my head. The Germans read; both old and young

shadeyinka:


Is it laziness or cultural factor. When I compare us with the germans in terms of reading a just shake my head. The Germans read; both old and young

Really? How do you know?

Personally I can't stand it. I am not comfortable with the sight of blood and maybe I am too emotional to witness such. I can't even watch the video that someone sent to me relating to that .




But then I don't need to go through such a process before I know how to appreciate my wife and kids. I love kids a lot and as a single guy I know how to relate and care well for little kids and most around me are always comfortable in my care.

shadeyinka:
In Nigeria, one hardly see a married man following his wife for antenatal examinations at the hospital.

Would it be OK if men are compelled to be by their wives during childbirth?

Wouldn't this make the men appreciate their wives more?

What's your reaction to this?

No it wont be ok.

Most men who "want to be romantic" and insist on staying almost always end up freaking out and constitute a nuisance and can even bring confusion to the whole process.

We had a program once where we organised antenatal visits involving the men coming with thier wives. After two visits a general consensus was passed by the women to leave the men at home.

I've told the story here before of thr guy who insisted on watching the birth of his first child. That he had prepared himself, watched videos, blah blah. When the head of the baby popped out, he fainted right there in the labour room. So we now had to deal with 2 patients instead of one.

shadeyinka:
In Nigeria, one hardly see a married man following his wife for antenatal examinations at the hospital.

Would it be OK if men are compelled to be by their wives during childbirth?

Wouldn't this make the men appreciate their wives more?

What's your reaction to this?

masquerading man hater.

My husband was there. Every step. I appreciate it. And it helped me through it. He helped me push (literally ) and cut the cord. So I'd encourage it.

But Force? No I don't think so. As a woman in labor, you want someone who wants to be there with you. Not someone who is reluctantly staying and not helping the situation.