SHOCK7:

listen well dis is how it's handled,without bias:
*Make yourself happy... dress well, go job hunting... make friends (responsible, motivated friends).
*Talk to your family, family is everything. They'll never leave you 'lonely'.
*Talk to him, like a civil human being.
*Protect yourself...since he inserts in random Kitty-cats.
*Worse case scenario, separate temporarily with him if he doesn't change.

so your advice is to put up with a serial cheat. Okay.

Jobia:
so your advice is to put up with a serial cheat. Okay.

aaha, didn't u read worst case scenario!
I want to know u better,I've pm u.

Jobia:
so your advice is to put up with a serial cheat. Okay.

aaha, didn't u read worst case scenario!
I want to know u better,I've pm u.

forlahkhe:
Thank u sooo much for d encouragement(big hug) and i doff ma hat for every1 dt gave me a listening ear on ds plantform; now i believe a problem shared is half solved. I av nt relent in my job search too, its just dt i now av to consider my baby first in anything i do. She closes sch by 1:30pm and i dont have any1 that wl help me pick her frm sch. No job wld make me close b4 1:30pm......Anyway, alatishe ni nmo atise ara e.

Yes you are trying, but get a job first then u can beg for an excuse to pick up 'ur child but where are your siblings to help out?

Amelian:
Madam sorry o, I bet your husband is either from delta state, especially urhobo, isoko, itsekiri, ijaw, sapele etc..
In such areas, even though am opportuned to be created from the region. The mentality of been faithful to wives is so rare.. The in-laws, especially the women will ring it into wife ears, that her husband is not meant for her alone and she shouldnt disturb his peace if he has concubines outside, so that he will live long.. Such a crazy mentality, sorry peeps from such areas but it's true.
Nothing will make me marry from my region.. Not in this life time or in another life time.
The men can fucvk around, with pride while his sisters, aunts even will see nothing wrong in it..
As a wife, if u like stay, if u like go... They don't give a hoot.

Op, doh... Sorry ehn? Such is life at times.

There's no such word as opportuned... BTW, I've not seen a situation like this in all my years living in Delta.

Datazone:

There's no such word as opportuned... BTW, I've not seen a situation like this in all my years living in Delta.

Keep deluding yourself. It happens for real.

Amelian:





Keep deluding yourself. It happens for real.

Now who says it doesn't happen? It's one thing knowing how to read, the other is understanding. That I haven't seen doesn't imply that it is nonexistent. °_°

Datazone:

Now who says it doesn't happen? It's one thing knowing how to read, the other is understanding. That I haven't seen doesn't imply that it is nonexistent. °_°

Well if u understand the scenario exists? What's the use quoting me in the first place?

So?

Amelian:




Well if u understand the scenario exists? What's the use quoting me in the first place?

So?

I did correct you when you used a word that rendered your sentence erroneous otherwise, I'd walk away.

Datazone:

I did correct you when you used a word that rendered your sentence erroneous otherwise, I'd walk away.

What's this one saying?
Did I ask u to correct your so called erroneous sentence?
Mr ITK, taking panadol for another person..
Go and correct yourself
I didn't call you into my quote..mtchewww

AkinPhysicist:
It seems you have a choice to make:

A. Stay married to a man who obviously has no respect or even love for you.

B. Divorce him and hope you get someone who will love and respect you OR at least have peace of mind as a single mother.

If your choice is B then you need to act fast - get a lawyer and protect the interest of your child. However, if you chose option A then you should prepare yourself for this life. Go and talk to his mother, to find out how she was able to cope with your father-in-laws philandering ways. Your mother-in-law will be the best resource if you choose to stay with this good for nothing man.

Best Advice so far....

oglalasioux:


Madam, you'll continue to see condoms in your husband's whatever if;

1. You don't respect him.

2. You don't listen to him when he wants to talk about his frustrations and encourage him.

3. You've let that spark that drew him to you to fade out. How are your looks now compared to when you people met?

4. You always run to your parents or even his parents to report him.

5. You don't care about what and how he eats when he's at work or going out for his business.

So answer yourself (forget his father).

Just get beautiful as you were when you met. Listen to him when he's talking trash

I see there is more to this. Men are the major problems in the society, most lack purpose and understanding of being a man before jumping into marriage.

chukwuboi:

I see there is more to this. Men are the major problems in the society, most lack purpose and understanding of being a man before jumping into marriage.

I disagree. It's our society that made it compulsory to get married. The society also mandated the man to pay through his nose to get a wife. He'll provide shelter, food and clothing. Then he has to put up with shit from the woman he practically bought.

I don't believe you are a man. If you were you wouldn't say men are the problem. Are women the problem then? NO.

It's our value system. When we stop deriding that sister or brother that is yet to get married and respect their privacy or their choice to divorce or be in a childless marriage, then we'll start thinking like human beings.

forlahkhe:
Anytime i have disagreement with my husband, he would always tell me that "I WL GO OUTSIDE, PLENTY BABES DEY OUTSIDE DAT NEED MEN AND I WONT EVEN SPEND MUCH B4 THEY OPEN THEIR LEGS". I always feel hurt by this statement because I believe that we should BOTH be committed to make our home work. If i wont go out there to look for men why should he?

My marriage is just 2yyears but i have never enjoyed 1month happiness. My hubby would prefer to stay late @work because he doesn't want our baby to disturb him with cry cry. I'm a sit @home mum, I resigned my marketing job because I want to have time for my baby but now my husband would not give me money anytime we have misunderstanding, not even for my baby too.

I have called his parents' attention to this but his people call me "ABOKOKU". That because he is married to me doesnt mean he should not enjoy himself, afterall, there are times someone is tired of eating rice and you would want to taste beans and other varieties. His father (57yrs) still has concubines which his mum can't do anything about. But the truth is that this thing is wearing me out emotionally.

I AM MARRIED BT LONELY

I screamed WHAT?!!

oglalasioux:


I disagree. It's our society that made it compulsory to get married. The society also mandated the man to pay through his nose to get a wife. He'll provide shelter, food and clothing. Then he has to put up with shit from the woman he practically bought.

I don't believe you are a man. If you were you wouldn't say men are the problem. Are women the problem then? NO.

It's our value system. When we stop deriding that sister or brother that is yet to get married and respect their privacy or their choice to divorce or be in a childless marriage, then we'll start thinking like human beings.

I understand where you're coming from, all you just said above is true and also understand the Genesis of the problem, people following the trend of making marriage compulsory and condemning those who don't, Myles Monroe's "relationship sermon" he said its satanic (not that there is a satan or our own satan) to force people into marriage or condemn divorce but I'm talking to those who are already victims(men) of the society what has to be done to gain control over themselves and start seeing not looking.

nellybadas:


Wicked person. I.m sure you are not married and there is no hope for you Why not try to help remedy a situation. It's people like you dat cannot last in a relationship. Get a life.

Oya what is your advice? She should stay there, pray and die of heart break and STDs? The era of women suffering and praying in a yeye marriage is gone o.

Toks2008:


This is the reason why I create the threads on my naira land wall so go read them and you will find succor.

Succor my azz. Ma'am please if you love yourself, don't read his threads abeg

Talasuma:


And na so u go old 4 ya family house, wake up girl we are in the Men's world.

And so?? Na death sentence? Mens world my azz

gbengaoa:

the home belongs to a woman. if things are going wrong, she feels it more. i have given her my honest advise and i believe you can do thesame and leave me with my opinion.

The home belongs to the woman? So the man is a tenant or what? Can she kick him out at will since the home belongs to her? You mofos will be claiming HEAD upandan only when it's convenient

Toks2008:


This is the reason why I create the threads on my naira land wall so go read them and you will find succor.

https://www.nairaland.com/3336311/every-lady-wants-experience-happy

Please kindly shove this retarded article where the sun don't shine. If you will not 'expect your wife to cheat' in your marriage, why should a woman expect such rubbish. You really think this is what this woman needs to hear at this point. Gosh!

Olufemiolaolu:
U dont know what u re talking walahi. It hasnt gotten 2 dat now.

Really? Infidelity, emotional and financial abuse, neglecting hos own child and you say it hasn't gotten to that. Is it when she is hanging from the ceiling fan that you will realise the gravity

Joy1706:

Please kindly shove this retarded article where the sun don't shine. If you will not 'expect your wife to cheat' in your marriage, why should a woman expect such rubbish. You really think this is what this woman needs to hear at this point. Gosh!

Are you married sis?

If NO please just keep off my mentions and if YES please what would you advice her do?

LEAVE THE HUSBAND?

I hate it when i read comments from some ladies on nland who have no scruples. Most teenagers and unmarried ladies will come online to start advising a married lady about marital matters..iranu

ikp120:


The woman's actions caused the man to get frustrated and give up on his family. It caused hatred and bitterness. Please when 2 elephants are fighting, the grass will suffer most. Children are the ones that suffer when there is parental misunderstanding
You want your hubby to baby you while you man him? Smh

Dude! YOU ARE DUMB. My God!

ikp120:


Some women don't know what marriage is. In a marriage, the man is the boss while the woman is the baby. Naturally speaking that is how it is. That's why men pay before they marry her. It is simple common sense

Even a stupid boy like you wants to be boss. Hahahahahaha! . God save women ooooooo. Hahahahahahaha

I don't mind my husband cheating but the fact that I sacrificed my career to take care of the home and my child, and later he refuse to support our child is madness!

Toks2008:


Are you married sis?

If NO please just keep off my mentions and if YES please what would you advice her do?

LEAVE THE HUSBAND?

I hate it when i read comments from some ladies on nland who have no scruples. Most teenagers and unmarried ladies will come online to start advising a married lady about marital matters..iranu

The average 9ja man plays away match such that girls have to decide when they marry how they choose to deal with this. Survive inspite of this or move on.

I would not advice that you disrupt your child's life especially when you knew he had more than 1 girlfriend when you were dating and courting. Begin as you intend to go on. What you allow becomes how you are treated.

We are all different so you need to decide what works for you and even at that there are things we might have done or not done in our twenties which might become inconsequential in our forties.

I am a non conformist and not particularly bothered by other peoples talk or expectation of me. I do what makes sense to me and try not to expose myself to unecessary risk or put my livelihood and very survival into unstable hands. On the other hand there is no half measures with me I am usually 100 percent in or close to 100 percent out.

In advising I use my head cos it is easy when you are not emotionally involved to be practical.

A husband brings many hats to the table if one is not working then it is for you to look at the other hats to see if it works for you.

Goodluck.

The average 9ja man plays away match such that girls have to decide when they marry how they choose to deal with this. Survive inspite of this or move on.

I would not advice that you disrupt your child's life especially when you knew he had more than 1 girlfriend when you were dating and courting. Begin as you intend to go on. What you allow becomes how you are treated.

We are all different so you need to decide what works for you and even at that there are things we might have done or not done in our twenties which might become inconsequential in our forties.

I am a non conformist and not particularly bothered by other peoples talk or expectation of me. I do what makes sense to me and try not to expose myself to unecessary risk or put my livelihood and very survival into unstable hands. On the other hand there is no half measures with me I am usually 100 percent in or close to 100 percent out.

In advising I use my head cos it is easy when you are not emotionally involved to be practical.

A husband brings many hats to the table if one is not working then it is for you to look at the other hats to see if it works for you.

Goodluck. @forlahkhe

ayodeji200:
Young lady, don't listen to all these sad single mothers or raised by single mothers children, they ll destroy your home. No pain no gain; patience is key in marriage.

Find a quiet time to speak to him about all this and hear him out. A good hubby today might turn bad tomorrow while a bad hubby today might turn good. We have seen many stories like that...

For the sake of that child, don't listen to these miserable single mum who had fvck every dicks in their neighbourhood. The next dude might even be a devil at the end of the day

Do everything within your power to make it work before leaving your marriage oooo.

Is he violent? If not, just chill for now and keep talking to him, trust me, one day you ll thank God you listen to this advice.

Pretender! Your mother was also a sad single mother who fvcked every dicck in her neighbourhood. I know your family very well

ItsQuinn:
I don't mind my husband cheating but the fact that I sacrificed my career to take care of the home and my child, and later he refuse to support our child is madness!

I have explained the road map to marital happiness or maybe tolerance in the thread i pointed her to which a certain Joy1706 asked her to disregard when im 200% that she has not even read and comprehended it.

Look at the OP story again and you will see where she said she gave up her job and the second point in that thread says MAKE YOUR OWN MONEY

So i honestly dont know how to explain to ladies that no matter the fantasy they have about marriage,there are some realities that they can not control and if faced with such situation they must be ready to face it head on.

If any lady reads every thread i create about romance between aman and woman and deeply understands it, that lady will never have issues in her marriage.

There is more to life to marriage and man woman matter please.

Toks2008:


Are you married sis?

If NO please just keep off my mentions and if YES please what would you advice her do?

LEAVE THE HUSBAND?

I hate it when i read comments from some ladies on nland who have no scruples. Most teenagers and unmarried ladies will come online to start advising a married lady about marital matters..iranu

Err...... He breaks his marital vows (infidelity), doesn't provide for her or his baby, completely useless as a husband and a father, he is emotionally abusive,irresponsible. Yes my dear, SHE SHOULD LEAVE THE HORSEBAND. She is a 'married spinster'.

Oga you that you're divorced nko. What business do you have advising a married woman? If you were so wise and experienced, sheybi you'd still have a wife?

Toks2008:


I have explained the road map to marital happiness or maybe tolerance in the thread i pointed her to which a certain Joy1706 asked her to disregard when im 200% that she has not even read and comprehended it.

Look at the OP story again and you will see where she said she gave up her job and the second point in that thread says MAKE YOUR OWN MONEY

So i honestly dont know how to explain to ladies that no matter the fantasy they have about marriage,there are some realities that they can not control and if faced with such situation they must be ready to face it head on.

If any lady reads every thread i create about romance between aman and woman and deeply understands it, that lady will never have issues in her marriage.

There is more to life to marriage and man woman matter please.

There is no happiness a woman can find in a marriage in which the husband is not faithful. Take it or leave it. UNLESS she stops loving the husband or she gets a side bobo too

Joy1706:

Err...... He breaks his marital vows (infidelity), doesn't provide for her or his baby, completely useless as a husband and a father, he is emotionally abusive,irresponsible. Yes my dear, SHE SHOULD LEAVE THE HORSEBAND. She is a 'married spinster'.

Oga you that you're divorced nko. What business do you have advising a married woman? If you were so wise and experienced, sheybi you'd still have a wife?

LOL! At least i have walked that road before so i have an experience of the road map innit?

Joy1706:

Even a stupid boy like you wants to be boss. Hahahahahaha! . God save women ooooooo. Hahahahahahaha

**Thinking aloud**
I guess that woke up the man in our sister Joy!
Let's laugh at that man joor!


Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahha


**Takes a break**
**Resumes laughing**
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaha