stories like this gets me scared

fikfaknuel:
Cheating is the default mode in some men. So for him to use protection, means he loves you enough to sacrifice skin-to-skin pleasure.

forlahkhe:
Anytime i have disagreement with my husband, he would always tell me that "I WL GO OUTSIDE, PLENTY BABES DEY OUTSIDE DAT NEED MEN AND I WONT EVEN SPEND MUCH B4 THEY OPEN THEIR LEGS". I always feel hurt by this statement because I believe that we should BOTH be committed to make our home work. If i wont go out there to look for men why should he?

My marriage is just 2yyears but i have never enjoyed 1month happiness. My hubby would prefer to stay late @work because he doesn't want our baby to disturb him with cry cry. I'm a sit @home mum, I resigned my marketing job because I want to have time for my baby but now my husband would not give me money anytime we have misunderstanding, not even for my baby too.

I have called his parents' attention to this but his people call me "ABOKOKU". That because he is married to me doesnt mean he should not enjoy himself, afterall, there are times someone is tired of eating rice and you would want to taste beans and other varieties. His father (57yrs) still has concubines which his mum can't do anything about. But the truth is that this thing is wearing me out emotionally.

I AM MARRIED BT LONELY

No dnt overlook it, pack your tinz and run away

schumastic:
stories like this gets me scared

of getting married?

That nigg*a cheating on you!!

forlahkhe:
Anytime i have disagreement with my husband, he would always tell me that "I WL GO OUTSIDE, PLENTY BABES DEY OUTSIDE DAT NEED MEN AND I WONT EVEN SPEND MUCH B4 THEY OPEN THEIR LEGS". I always feel hurt by this statement because I believe that we should BOTH be committed to make our home work. If i wont go out there to look for men why should he?

My marriage is just 2yyears but i have never enjoyed 1month happiness. My hubby would prefer to stay late @work because he doesn't want our baby to disturb him with cry cry. I'm a sit @home mum, I resigned my marketing job because I want to have time for my baby but now my husband would not give me money anytime we have misunderstanding, not even for my baby too.

I have called his parents' attention to this but his people call me "ABOKOKU". That because he is married to me doesnt mean he should not enjoy himself, afterall, there are times someone is tired of eating rice and you would want to taste beans and other varieties. His father (57yrs) still has concubines which his mum can't do anything about. But the truth is that this thing is wearing me out emotionally.

I AM MARRIED BT LONELY

Just find a job so dat u depend less on him. The fact still remains u cant change him. U just av 2 carry ur cross. Dont mind all d bimbos asking u 2 divorce him as if they ll support financially. Just continue 2 be a gud wife, one day he ll change 4 d better.

You even get luck say your dey even use condom ......... Mtcheeeew [color=#990000][/color]

ItsQuinn:
Divorce him straight! ....you're not benefiting anything from him, even your child is not benefiting anything from his/her father, what's the point of staying together then? The mistake you made was to marry him in the first place, next time get to know who you are marrying and the family's background before marrying. Now it's time to correct that mistake with a divorce

My sister, go look for a good job to support yourself and your baby. Stay blessed

just like that, na wa o, fear God

I hate talkative ladies. What has his 57 years old spouse dad got to do with your predicament? Seriously, guys don't like "Abokoku" wives.

bettercreature:
Put it inside plate cover it and serve him as dinner,allow him to open it then tell him that is what you found in his wallet
Slap him 3-4 times then kick him out of the house

McEwen:

You need me,send me a pm

But i didnt read anywhere she wrote that she need a partner na.

after wedding comes marriage. my dear sister, its one of d ups n down in marriage....go on ur kneels and pray to God as u carry ur cross

ItsQuinn:
Divorce him straight! ....you're not benefiting anything from him, even your child is not benefiting anything from his/her father, what's the point of staying together then? The mistake you made was to marry him in the first place, next time get to know who you are marrying and the family's background before marrying. Now it's time to correct that mistake with a divorce

My sister, go look for a good job to support yourself and your baby. Stay blessed

Divorce him! Will u offer her accomodation ni?

forlahkhe:
Thank u sooo much for d encouragement(big hug) and i doff ma hat for every1 dt gave me a listening ear on ds plantform; now i believe a problem shared is half solved. I av nt relent in my job search too, its just dt i now av to consider my baby first in anything i do. She closes sch by 1:30pm and i dont have any1 that wl help me pick her frm sch. No job wld make me close b4 1:30pm......Anyway, alatishe ni nmo atise ara e.

Register your child in a school that also provides after-school care,cos when you start working, you'd be able to foot the extra bills...or better still, get a teaching job for now that affords you time to close sane time with your baby.
Lastly, don't forget to pray, he's not too big for God to handle.
All the best dear

gbengaoa:


please madame try and look inwards, there must be something you are not doing right. if you guys didnt start like this, something must have pushed him out.

Typical naija response it's always the woman's fault. If the man missbehaves, they advice women to pray, and keep faith, if the woman missbehaves(in their opinion) they justify the mans wayward actions .
In naija, no man is ever bad or difficult, it's always the wife. She must have done something to him. No naija husband ever does wrong without the wife causing it

Welcome to the place where you would be given bad advices,some said divorce him straight bla bla blah,instead of you to check what you av not been doing well enough,stop comin here to wash ur dirty linen go back to your husband,the way I see you it seems u are a talking type.

Olufemiolaolu:
Divorce him! Will u offer her accomodation ni?

she can go back to her father's house for the main time

schumastic:


just like that, na wa o, fear God

why should I fear God?

forlahkhe:
Anytime i have disagreement with my husband, he would always tell me that "I WL GO OUTSIDE, PLENTY BABES DEY OUTSIDE DAT NEED MEN AND I WONT EVEN SPEND MUCH B4 THEY OPEN THEIR LEGS". I always feel hurt by this statement because I believe that we should BOTH be committed to make our home work. If i wont go out there to look for men why should he?

My marriage is just 2yyears but i have never enjoyed 1month happiness. My hubby would prefer to stay late @work because he doesn't want our baby to disturb him with cry cry. I'm a sit @home mum, I resigned my marketing job because I want to have time for my baby but now my husband would not give me money anytime we have misunderstanding, not even for my baby too.

I have called his parents' attention to this but his people call me "ABOKOKU". That because he is married to me doesnt mean he should not enjoy himself, afterall, there are times someone is tired of eating rice and you would want to taste beans and other varieties. His father (57yrs) still has concubines which his mum can't do anything about. But the truth is that this thing is wearing me out emotionally.

I AM MARRIED BT LONELY

The start with, it's safe to know he is playing SAFE. Regarding his promiscuity, our people talk am say nah the thread wey papa drop pickin go pick.
Marriage is not by force or by fire. If you are so unhappy in your marriage, you can do the needful.......

TIREDOFSEX:
wat kinda family do thy have sha lol....

But this ur story no complete, im pretty that u refused him that's why it leads to quarrel... So he gets angry and tells u thst shit.

Somehow True Oh...

ItsQuinn:
Divorce him straight! ....you're not benefiting anything from him, even your child is not benefiting anything from his/her father, what's the point of staying together then? The mistake you made was to marry him in the first place, next time get to know who you are marrying and the family's background before marrying. Now it's time to correct that mistake with a divorce

My sister, go look for a good job to support yourself and your baby. Stay blessed

Sister o. Have you forgotten what you said in that single mother's thread this morning?
Stay blessed too o.
SMH

call me on 08100392181

forlahkhe:
Anytime i have disagreement with my husband, he would always tell me that "I WL GO OUTSIDE, PLENTY BABES DEY OUTSIDE DAT NEED MEN AND I WONT EVEN SPEND MUCH B4 THEY OPEN THEIR LEGS". I always feel hurt by this statement because I believe that we should BOTH be committed to make our home work. If i wont go out there to look for men why should he?

My marriage is just 2yyears but i have never enjoyed 1month happiness. My hubby would prefer to stay late @work because he doesn't want our baby to disturb him with cry cry. I'm a sit @home mum, I resigned my marketing job because I want to have time for my baby but now my husband would not give me money anytime we have misunderstanding, not even for my baby too.

I have called his parents' attention to this but his people call me "ABOKOKU". That because he is married to me doesnt mean he should not enjoy himself, afterall, there are times someone is tired of eating rice and you would want to taste beans and other varieties. His father (57yrs) still has concubines which his mum can't do anything about. But the truth is that this thing is wearing me out emotionally.

I AM MARRIED BT LONELY

Essence6055:
You knew about his family background and still married him and you expected everything to be dandy and happy... You need a marriage counselor to talk to you and your husband...

I wnt to scroll down and make dis exact comments, d moment I saw urs, I felt dere is no nid for dat again, some girls are so dumb, can u imagine, she knws all dis abt d guy background and still married d guy

adviseseeker:
1 year plus

See my thread to understand better.

https://www.nairaland.com/3371723/need-matured-advise-married-nairalanders

I am really sorry about this....

ItsQuinn:
she can go back to her father's house for the main time

Ewooo...
That thread about people raised by single parents is really true. You are a good example.
SMH

cococandy:
For all those 'you saw the signs' chanters, so what? Is that a solution? Mtchew.

OP I wouldn't hesitate to leave an asshole like that. Nobody deserves to be treated that way. It's one to thing to forgive someone who cheated on you and is repentant but it's also another to knowingly,willfully put up with dehumanizing behavior like that for which the perpetrator is heartlessly uncaring about.

You're a person with feelings and your happiness/sanity matters. Look at his family. It will never get better. Improve yourself, get a job and kick his ass to the curb. All this might take a while but before then, protect yourself from him. He's a walking reservoir of STDs (never mind the condoms) and if you get anything from him, not only will he not care, he and his family can fabricate stories to make you like like the one who brought the infection home.

There's nothing for you in that marriage not even child care for your little baby. If you have to tie your baby on your back while braiding hair or learning some other kind of handcraft, anything is better than living there tolerating his wickedness and slowly being turned into a shadow of yourself.

If you die of emotional trauma (yes there's a thing like that) or HIV/AIDs, that your baby he doesn't care about now, he won't start caring about then.

Do what's best for you. Good luck

at the bolded part is where am going to fault you..my reason is this, on the other thread created about single parent and advice not to marry the partner cus he or she might show signs that might lead to a divorce and you kicked against it, but here you are advising this lady to leave her husband because she ignored the red flags during dating...am sure you will understand that, family background is among the major foundations of marriages.

forlahkhe:
Anytime i have disagreement with my husband, he would always tell me that "I WL GO OUTSIDE, PLENTY BABES DEY OUTSIDE DAT NEED MEN AND I WONT EVEN SPEND MUCH B4 THEY OPEN THEIR LEGS". I always feel hurt by this statement because I believe that we should BOTH be committed to make our home work. If i wont go out there to look for men why should he?

My marriage is just 2yyears but i have never enjoyed 1month happiness. My hubby would prefer to stay late @work because he doesn't want our baby to disturb him with cry cry. I'm a sit @home mum, I resigned my marketing job because I want to have time for my baby but now my husband would not give me money anytime we have misunderstanding, not even for my baby too.

I have called his parents' attention to this but his people call me "ABOKOKU". That because he is married to me doesnt mean he should not enjoy himself, afterall, there are times someone is tired of eating rice and you would want to taste beans and other varieties. His father (57yrs) still has concubines which his mum can't do anything about. But the truth is that this thing is wearing me out emotionally.

I AM MARRIED BT LONELY

I understand what you are going through and I am deeply concerned for your happiness. in this reply, I'll reply you as though you were my stepsister.

Firstly, you msy feel bad about the condom discovery but look at it in a different light. Since you feel he is doing things out there, then begin to live an independent life. If your baby is grown enough, start looking for work. Also get a side-hustle before the work comes. This will keep you busy, give you some change and allow you to meet other people whose story may encourage you.

Don't report him to anybody at all. you can discuss your situation with your mother or sister but don't report him to them. Report him to God then find time during one of his happy days to clearly and assertively communicate tour displeasure about his habit and every every

After that continue to seek happiness in the little things you do and in your baby. Don't offer yourself to him but allow him to demand for you. and when he does, resist slightly this Reenforcing tour displeasure with his behaviours.

Remember keep yourself clean, smart and busy and he will drool over you and soon start to bend over for you too.

Oh... Plea see don't forget to do the things that you guys agreed you will do as a wide no matter how busy you are. Cook daily at least for yourself.

hope this helpss.

PS: My stepsister did just that after confirming her husband is cheating. she never told him she knew but she got him to recommit even to the point of taking his vows again.

To be candid,i don't see you lasted on that marriage.If truly that how he behaves.Ingnored the condom issue like you sees nothing.look for a job to take of your innocent Angel.Whenever he needs sex and he make a moved give to him, don't complain ,get yourself out of depression,pray and God will lead you through the best way.by time you don't look pity or look up to him as a husband je would realize himself and come to his senses.I pray God will surely guards you...

ItsQuinn:
she can go back to her father's house for the main time

Ewooo...
That thread about ladies raised by single parents is really true. You are a good example.
SMH

ikp120:


Sister o. Have you forgotten what you said in that single mother's thread this morning?
Stay blessed too o.
SMH

what did I say please