Let me give u simple truth advice...
You are in it already. Leaving your marriage is not d solution but pray for him this simply prayers:

- God, bless my Husband
- God, I pray dt u send upon him a situation that will make him to know the important of what you call a home (man & woman).
- God, not a too severe situation but d one that will bring glory unto ur name and him unto you completely. Let him know the true definition of God's marriage.

Madam, any advice that is not directing u towards praying pls ignore it. If u are a Muslim or Christian and you are not close to God, ma! The time is now.

Marriage is like a battle ground, only the praying woman enjoy it and have peace in it.

Men are just fortunate to be called the head but it is a prayful woman that make home and make her husband good. All these is through prayer.

Don't attempt to consult anything aside God because it will worsen the situation even now and future to come.

You should thank God this battle is surfing now at the early stage of ur marriage. The battle is now and God will fight for you to bring your husband home finally.

donfemo:
Truth is you knew him before marriage, you saw this signs but hoped he will change. All you can do now is pray. God answers prayers.

Wash

Lol! This Nairaland Forum is the only place you come to see funny news, I recommend Nairaland to any sad person, posts and comments will make you laugh your head off

ItsQuinn:
pretty close ....I'm from delta

Urhobho

ItsQuinn:
but couples that come from a perfect home get divorced too. So whats your point exactly ....the reason why I said the op was biased was that he only mentioned women raised by a single parent, he didn't mention men. So you have no point

That guy said that those kind of ladies usually take the easy way out. This woman is the architect of her own problem. She must have been using sex to manipulate and blackmail her hubby (not even her bf o).
You said you will divorce him if it were you, just like that? Just 2 years and you're taking the easy way?
That guy was very correct... Please watch that bitchy attitude. Ladies are supposed to be their hubby's baby, not hard, but flexible.

I dont see anything wrong in ur husband having a CD in his wallet or pocket.....for protection to the bunch of HIV holes on the road......Win him back or allow him to concentrate before u disorganise.....if this condom was discovered early solomon would not have got all this his lineage today.......

ikp120:


That guy said that those kind of ladies usually take the easy way out. This woman is the architect of her own problem. She must have been using sex to manipulate and blackmail her hubby (not even her bf o).
You said you will divorce him if it were you, just like that? Just 2 years and you're taking the easy way?
That guy was very correct... Please watch that bitchy attitude. Ladies are supposed to be their hubby's baby, not hard, but flexible.

why will I be in a marriage where my husband doesn't give a fvck about our child? Such marriage is not worth fighting for *spits*

Folake let me help read this and then think inwards.

A couple living abroad in their mid thirties. Husband works in oil and gas company one of the super majors. Note, husband used to work with Chevron in Lagos before getting job a job abroad with another oil company. Husband company sponsored him for permanent residence, now family are citizens of this country.

Wife never worked one day ( 8 yrs living abroad) since resigning her high profile job in Lagos commanding 6 figures salary, to join husband abroad. All because she wants a high profile job and can't imagine doing anything less than what she was doing back in Nigeria.

Now, wife is depressed and venting out on husband and her kids due to lack of job. Note, she used to decide everything with husband before due to her fat salary back in Nigeria. Now wife no longer give husband sex for close to 18 months, may be 1 time in 3 months frequency for 18 months. Husband and wife leaving as strangers under the same roof.

Note : marriage is over 9 years.

We have spoken to dude to be patient with his wife. This lead to husband having a side babe in Maryland US that is praying for the husband to file for divorce. The wife is very a wealthy background in Nigeria.

Read this and then picture your situation.

PaperLace:
Men marry women hoping they don't change_ but they do.
Women marry men hoping they'll change_ but they don't..

Best quote for today...

I have nothing else to say...

There is no going back... Jorney of no return.

forlahkhe:
Anytime i have disagreement with my husband, he would always tell me that "I WL GO OUTSIDE, PLENTY BABES DEY OUTSIDE DAT NEED MEN AND I WONT EVEN SPEND MUCH B4 THEY OPEN THEIR LEGS". I always feel hurt by this statement because I believe that we should BOTH be committed to make our home work. If i wont go out there to look for men why should he?

My marriage is just 2yyears but i have never enjoyed 1month happiness. My hubby would prefer to stay late @work because he doesn't want our baby to disturb him with cry cry. I'm a sit @home mum, I resigned my marketing job because I want to have time for my baby but now my husband would not give me money anytime we have misunderstanding, not even for my baby too.

I have called his parents' attention to this but his people call me "ABOKOKU". That because he is married to me doesnt mean he should not enjoy himself, afterall, there are times someone is tired of eating rice and you would want to taste beans and other varieties. His father (57yrs) still has concubines which his mum can't do anything about. But the truth is that this thing is wearing me out emotionally.

I AM MARRIED BT LONELY

Don't even pity you at all.... You knew about the father.... And still married the son...



Must people marry?

You married a 'YORUBA DEMON'

Sorry madam, marriage is d only seasonal movie u ve to enjoy or endure till d end.... If jst ve to fix it ursef, he who wears d shoe knws wia it hurts..... U ve to b strong n fight d battle till d end..... Jst try harder

ItsQuinn:
why will I be in a marriage where my husband doesn't give a fvck about our child? Such marriage is not worth fighting for *spits*

It is the woman's fault. The way you treat a man will determine how he feels, and that what directly affect how he treats you. Some ladies are just bitches (can't bow to a man who they are in serious relationship with).
This woman from her post is like that. I have a sister like that.

cococandy:
For all those 'you saw the signs' chanters, so what? Is that a solution? Mtchew.

OP I wouldn't hesitate to leave an asshole like that. Nobody deserves to be treated that way. It's one to thing to forgive someone who cheated on you and is repentant but it's also another to knowingly,willfully put up with dehumanizing behavior like that for which the perpetrator is heartlessly uncaring about.

You're a person with feelings and your happiness/sanity matters. Look at his family. It will never get better. Improve yourself, get a job and kick his ass to the curb. All this might take a while but before then, protect yourself from him. He's a walking reservoir of STDs (never mind the condoms) and if you get anything from him, not only will he not care, he and his family can fabricate stories to make you like like the one who brought the infection home.

There's nothing for you in that marriage not even child care for your little baby. If you have to tie your baby on your back while braiding hair or learning some other kind of handcraft, anything is better than living there tolerating his wickedness and slowly being turned into a shadow of yourself.

If you die of emotional trauma (yes there's a thing like that) or HIV/AIDs, that your baby he doesn't care about now, he won't start caring about then.

Do what's best for you. Good luck

you have said it all but why did you wear lipstick for my cute chubby honeypie?I will give you blow for belle o. Abeg clean the lipstick for her lips.pedos are every where they cannot differentiate a baby from an adult

Lol, surely you should ignore if condom is the new government approved complimentary card.

ikp120:


It is the woman's fault. The way you treat a man will determine how he feels, and that what directly affect how he treats you. Some ladies are just bitches (can't bow to a man who they are in serious relationship with).
This woman from her post is like that. I have a sister like that.

just see an exact example cococandy was talking about

Some women dey try o

yemmie:
Folake let me help read this and then think inwards.

A couple living abroad in their mid thirties. Husband works in oil and gas company one of the super majors. Note, husband used to work with Chevron in Lagos before getting job a job abroad with another oil company. Husband company sponsored him for permanent residence, now family are citizens of this country.

Wife never worked one day ( 8 yrs living abroad) since resigning her high profile job in Lagos commanding 6 figures salary, to join husband abroad. All because she wants a high profile job and can't imagine doing anything less than what she was doing back in Nigeria.

Now, wife is depressed and venting out on husband and her kids due to lack of job. Note, she used to decide everything with husband before due to her fat salary back in Nigeria. Now wife no longer give husband sex for close to 18 months, may be 1 time in 3 months frequency for 18 months. Husband and wife leaving as strangers under the same roof.

Note : marriage is over 9 years.

We have spoken to dude to be patient with his wife. This lead to husband having a side babe in Maryland US that is praying for the husband to file for divorce. The wife is very a wealthy background in Nigeria.

Read this and then picture your situation.

This woman has something she is not saying. She is the type that denies hubby sex whenever they have misunderstanding.

ikp120:


It is the woman's fault. The way you treat a man will determine how he feels, and that what directly affect how he treats you. Some ladies are just bitches (can't bow to a man who they are in serious relationship with).
This woman from her post is like that. I have a sister like that.

how's it the woman's fault that he's not feeding their child? .... That's his child for goodness sake, so the child should go hungry because of their problems? What a very selfish and self centred man ....why should a woman bow to a man? Is he God? Sorry I can't bow to no man. You argue foolishly! The more I reply you, the more my IQ drops....you know nothing

Jobia:
I see his kind of men everyday on this forum.

If it were me i would leave the idìot. Imagine telling you to your face that he will 'get it' outside, after you sacrificed your job for the marriage. Mtchw.

Hope you have something to sustain you though..

.

hmm, What the man was doin isn't good for real. But do you know, most men won't tell you? Till the would have 2, 3, 4 babies outte your back. That his even telling is an advantage.

Is this even a marriage? Many pseudo-marriages around these days

forlahkhe:
Anytime i have disagreement with my husband, he would always tell me that "I WL GO OUTSIDE, PLENTY BABES DEY OUTSIDE DAT NEED MEN AND I WONT EVEN SPEND MUCH B4 THEY OPEN THEIR LEGS". I always feel hurt by this statement because I believe that we should BOTH be committed to make our home work. If i wont go out there to look for men why should he?

My marriage is just 2yyears but i have never enjoyed 1month happiness. My hubby would prefer to stay late @work because he doesn't want our baby to disturb him with cry cry. I'm a sit @home mum, I resigned my marketing job because I want to have time for my baby but now my husband would not give me money anytime we have misunderstanding, not even for my baby too.

I have called his parents' attention to this but his people call me "ABOKOKU". That because he is married to me doesnt mean he should not enjoy himself, afterall, there are times someone is tired of eating rice and you would want to taste beans and other varieties. His father (57yrs) still has concubines which his mum can't do anything about. But the truth is that this thing is wearing me out emotionally.

I AM MARRIED BT LONELY

Right now i feel rather angry with you....................it's clear you're among the ''he will change'' team you noticed all these inconsistencies on his part yet you blindly went ahead to marry him..................forgetting that marriage is a life prison sorry bond...............i know say dem talk say love is blind..............but no vex you blind when you marry your husband ?............................so you knew his own father too is a Casanova..................and it didn't send the right signal to your brain...................anyway the deed has been done................my little advice is that you should get a marriage counselor to talk to both of you on the dangers of extra marital affairs or you talk to your pastor if you have one

gradekoko:
Wow! Sad to hear what you're passing through but you need to act differently.
1) Get out of self-pity and depression quickly.
2) Dont act so dependent on him anymore and start looking for a job.
3) Stop reporting him to his family as it hasnt yielded fruit. Confide in your own family instead.
4) Look for someone else he respects/ looks up to and talk to them about it.
5) Try not to pick a fight with him, watch out for any day you see he is in a good mood and discuss your condom discovery with him.
I wish you the best.

1,2,5 are OK but 3,4 is still a bad idea.

It is bad for a woman to portray her husband as bad to his friends, relatives, her friends and relatives even his enemies. In a marriage, no spouse is supposed to seek advice outside the marriage not even religious leaders unless they are licensed marriage counsellors.

Things i read here often makes me think twice!


It is well with OP

ItsQuinn:
how's it the woman's fault that he's not feeding their child? .... That's his child for goodness sake, so the child should go hungry because of their problems? What a very selfish and self centred man ....why should a woman bow to a man? Is he God? Sorry I can't bow to no man. You argue foolishly! The more I reply you, the more my IQ drops....you know nothing

The woman's actions caused the man to get frustrated and give up on his family. It caused hatred and bitterness. Please when 2 elephants are fighting, the grass will suffer most. Children are the ones that suffer when there is parental misunderstanding
You want your hubby to baby you while you man him? Smh

bettercreature:
Put it inside plate cover it and serve him as dinner,allow him to open it then tell him that is what you found in his wallet
Slap him 3-4 times then kick him out of the house

Like seriously!!!!............NO, for real

forlahkhe:
Anytime i have disagreement with my husband, he would always tell me that "I WL GO OUTSIDE, PLENTY BABES DEY OUTSIDE DAT NEED MEN AND I WONT EVEN SPEND MUCH B4 THEY OPEN THEIR LEGS". I always feel hurt by this statement because I believe that we should BOTH be committed to make our home work. If i wont go out there to look for men why should he?

My marriage is just 2yyears but i have never enjoyed 1month happiness. My hubby would prefer to stay late @work because he doesn't want our baby to disturb him with cry cry. I'm a sit @home mum, I resigned my marketing job because I want to have time for my baby but now my husband would not give me money anytime we have misunderstanding, not even for my baby too.

I have called his parents' attention to this but his people call me "ABOKOKU". That because he is married to me doesnt mean he should not enjoy himself, afterall, there are times someone is tired of eating rice and you would want to taste beans and other varieties. His father (57yrs) still has concubines which his mum can't do anything about. But the truth is that this thing is wearing me out emotionally.

I AM MARRIED BT LONELY

.

I don't just know why many people don't talk sense when it comes to marraige. There's always a Diff b4 marraige/after marraige! Make God just dey guide! Plz ma'am, I can read the pains thru your words, but one thing u gotta do is just be patient and be prayerful! Go to the marraige expert and hear their say! That he is telling you is an edge for you, blv me, some men are snakes! They won't even tell and they will keep doing! Just be patient, and don't change towards him. Be cool and calm!! He will surely change to normal!! My prayers!! God bless you!!

forlahkhe:
Anytime i have disagreement with my husband, he would always tell me that "I WL GO OUTSIDE, PLENTY BABES DEY OUTSIDE DAT NEED MEN AND I WONT EVEN SPEND MUCH B4 THEY OPEN THEIR LEGS". I always feel hurt by this statement because I believe that we should BOTH be committed to make our home work. If i wont go out there to look for men why should he?

My marriage is just 2yyears but i have never enjoyed 1month happiness. My hubby would prefer to stay late @work because he doesn't want our baby to disturb him with cry cry. I'm a sit @home mum, I resigned my marketing job because I want to have time for my baby but now my husband would not give me money anytime we have misunderstanding, not even for my baby too.

I have called his parents' attention to this but his people call me "ABOKOKU". That because he is married to me doesnt mean he should not enjoy himself, afterall, there are times someone is tired of eating rice and you would want to taste beans and other varieties. His father (57yrs) still has concubines which his mum can't do anything about. But the truth is that this thing is wearing me out emotionally.

I AM MARRIED BT LONELY

Is your husband a Yoruba man?
Yorubas are mostly cheats

Men please remember that women are human beings.

A woman that is jealous of the people you are sleeping with has feelings for you.
You tell her do what you want I will have other women and expect her to bleep you passionately.
While she is thinking that your stick gas been in another place
The added irony is that these men come home and demand food physically and sexually.

Have you ever thought this woman could poison you or do something to your stick that will make it sofa forever.

Many a man out there is living a very dangerous life, just because we don't talk about psychological problems in Africa doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

Women are human beings and there is a very very fine line between live and hate.

Continue treating women that way.....sleep with both eyes open

Right now i feel rather angry with you @op ....................it's clear you're among the ''he will change'' team you noticed all these inconsistencies on his part yet you blindly went ahead to marry him..................forgetting that marriage is a life prison sorry bond...............i know say dem talk say love is blind..............but no vex you blind when you marry your husband ?............................so you knew his own father too is a Casanova..................and it didn't send the right signal to your brain...................anyway the deed has been done................my little advice is that you should get a marriage counselor to talk to both of you on the dangers of extra marital affairs or you talk to your pastor if you have one

SAMBARRY:
just see an exact example cococandy was talking about

Some women dey try o

Some women don't know what marriage is. In a marriage, the man is the boss while the woman is the baby. Naturally speaking that is how it is. That's why men pay before they marry her. It is simple common sense

Lleigh:
Men please remember that women are human beings.

A woman that is jealous of the people you are sleeping with has feelings for you.
You tell her do what you want I will have other women and expect her to bleep you passionately.
While she is thinking that your stick gas been in another place
The added irony is that these men come home and demand food physically and sexually.

Have you ever thought this woman could poison you or do something to your stick that will make it sofa forever.

Many a man out there is living a very dangerous life, just because we don't talk about psychological problems in Africa doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

Women are human beings and there is a very very fine line between live and hate.

Continue treating women that way.....sleep with both eyes open

Sorry for the typos. ...predictive text