Just dey your own. But if you be strong man , tackle capon and become Super CAPON.

From there everything gets easy.

Don't drop the soap

Op are you going for excursion there or you actually renting an apartment there ?

Get prepared!

Who ever you are you have given an advice that No Potential convict should say no to.


I must add our Prisons have only one thing in common with our freedom. Religiousness, So if you cant do any of this advice by this bros identify with your religion and stick closely with them brothers.

Passes will be made to your ass though. Hard Luck

soberdrunk:
1)Bros as you enter, the first person way you see just grab am bite hin ear "chew am swallow"!! Swallow am ooo! You don first establish say you nor dey okay so that respect don dey!

2) Dey follow urself talk to keep up with the act, just dey say rubbish even if nah tupac song way you dey rap backwards

3) Always be on the offensive, dey attack people randomly.......

4) Don't ever show any sign of "Fear"

5)If you cannot do 1-4 make sure you have a huge sum of money to settle Warder for "vip" treatment or else wetin ur eye go see for jail.........

[quote author=ladyF post=49992225]Hmmm.... I've had my own experience in Nairaland jail several times, but Nigerian prison, I can't help you with any experience with that one o.

Ermmm....make I go continue my search for bitcoin to buy sef. N500/$

You want to buy the whole Bitcoin in the world have shown you were to buy it na

Talk2Bella:


Hian lemme just be the adult here and ignore the stupid assumption

Bella I go like svck your boobbies

soberdrunk:
1)Bros as you enter, the first person way you see just grab am bite hin ear "chew am swallow"!! Swallow am ooo! You don first establish say you nor dey okay so that respect don dey!

2) Dey follow urself talk to keep up with the act, just dey say rubbish even if nah tupac song way you dey rap backwards

3) Always be on the offensive, dey attack people randomly.......

4) Don't ever show any sign of "Fear"

5)If you cannot do 1-4 make sure you have a huge sum of money to settle Warder for "vip" treatment or else wetin ur eye go see for jail.........

Laugh wan burst my Belle

[/b][b][i][/i]You Must have Money.... Secondly Do not Trust anybody... if them know say you be Alejo, them go Show you ewon. They do buy Space to sleep..
There 4types of Spaces. Please try and have Cash to pay for space oh.. because you No go like Jakara Space. Them dey pack them together Like Sardine. Please Do not take money in... since it your first time, Them go collect your money and anything wey you bring, as long as you be alejo and you have no right to interact with anyone until you pay a Cell Fee.. which rages from 5k to 125k if you want to be comfortable and don't want to pack Shit.

If you huge and you no respect your elder, them go wicked you. because elder is known on how long you'eve been there, not by age oh... Small pikin fit slap you. and you no fit do anything.

The best thing to do is know a prison officer or yard master, make you dey pay your payroll. You will Be fine.

There are 3 types of food...

One is Prison Food, And Prison Food they sell in the Prison and Outside Food Like mr biggs & Co.

Have phone number of someone you can call outside prison yard that can be constantly send you money or if you need anything.

This is the food schedule for everyday..

Beans for morning, Eba or Rice with Soya beans soup in the afternoon and Garri For night Food.. The food is Constant... If you get money abeg you.. No chop the food OH..
There are rulers in the prison, per each cell... starting from Elder which is the president, Commissioner, OC Food, OC Water, Mopol, and OC Latrine, You can't do anything without them, from bathing to using the toilet. You can't mess up with any of them.

if you want to enjoy Just buy bed from the elder.

You've already been bought from a warder before entering A Cell. The money you pay will be use to settle the Warders.

One note is.. It is the PRisoners that control the Prison, not the warders, The warders just observes.

Just Like boarding School.

And prepare for Bedbugs and mosquitoes, There is Armies of Bedbugs there.

Ask me How i Knew, Swift 4G LTE Company Sent me there When i was Caught trying to Sell a Cheat on nairaland.. I was remanded in PRison.

Prison no be Good thing oh.

You come out Good or BAD PErson, Alot of destinies are locked away.

There schools and churches, you can use that to move around..

Thanks to the OP for this thread. Na me need am pass...lolz..

I have a project (novel) I hope to start this year. I need this info (Nigerian prisons..not foreign prisons) to build my main character...as a matter of fact, I was considering (still considering) coming up with a plan with the Nigerian Prisons Service..so that I can spend about a week behind bars...in jail..I'd love to have a first-person experience...

If only I knew someone that has been to jail before!

Very funny thread

soberdrunk:
1)Bros as you enter, the first person way you see just grab am bite hin ear "chew am swallow"!! Swallow am ooo! You don first establish say you nor dey okay so that respect don dey!

2) Dey follow urself talk to keep up with the act, just dey say rubbish even if nah tupac song way you dey rap backwards

3) Always be on the offensive, dey attack people randomly.......

4) Don't ever show any sign of "Fear"

5)If you cannot do 1-4 make sure you have a huge sum of money to settle Warder for "vip" treatment or else wetin ur eye go see for jail.........

Lolz bros no vex o Abeg hw many years did u serve?

adwem2003:


Be like say u don dey prison before

You watch too film.. there is nothing like that in Nigeria prison..

Try am you go sleep for single Cell for Days without food...

I didn't know we have these huge number of ex-con on NL

soberdrunk:
1)Bros as you enter, the first person way you see just grab am bite hin ear "chew am swallow"!! Swallow am ooo! You don first establish say you nor dey okay so that respect don dey!

2) Dey follow urself talk to keep up with the act, just dey say rubbish even if nah tupac song way you dey rap backwards

3) Always be on the offensive, dey attack people randomly.......

4) Don't ever show any sign of "Fear"

5)If you cannot do 1-4 make sure you have a huge sum of money to settle Warder for "vip" treatment or else wetin ur eye go see for jail.........

This got me laughing so hard, especially the bolded

HitlerGaddafi:
Experienced folks or ex convicts on this forum can help shed more light for someone going to jail for the first time most especially for someone who was wrongfully accused.

#The do's and dont's in a Nigerian prison.
#The food
#The kind of people you'll meet
#The toilets, baths and all.
#The kind of freedom you get to enjoy at least to some extent.

And lots more.

above all.. be rugged and avoid being bleeped

greatness22:
Lol, if a girl tells you she's HIV positive, fear go let u chuk prick with condom?

lol....... u never predict what conji can do.

HitlerGaddafi:
You people just dey talk about yansh tearing. Is that the best advice you've got.

Watch prison break and follow t-bag's footstep, if you are rich folllow abruzi. And u go chop watery beans tire, you go farm die too

Etizz:





lol....... u never predict what conji can do.

Even that bastard called "conji" dey fear malaria not to talk of HIV.

Let me call some notorious prisoners, BABANGBALI, IYANGBALI and notoriousbabe your advice are highly needed at this crucial time

Oboy congrats all d way, enjoy ur stay. Lols, see ur name sef ''HitlerGaddafi'' haba u suppose dey prison since cos na tyrant u be, is home already. Kikikikik laughing in swahili

soberdrunk:
1)Bros as you enter, the first person way you see just grab am bite hin ear "chew am swallow"!! Swallow am ooo! You don first establish say you nor dey okay so that respect don dey!

2) Dey follow urself talk to keep up with the act, just dey say rubbish even if nah tupac song way you dey rap backwards

3) Always be on the offensive, dey attack people randomly.......

4) Don't ever show any sign of "Fear"

5)If you cannot do 1-4 make sure you have a huge sum of money to settle Warder for "vip" treatment or else wetin ur eye go see for jail.........

Op this guy is correct, however he has omitted the most important thing.
RAPE!
Yes, if it is overcrowded kirikiri you are headed, and if you are young, you will be raped more times than a teenage prostitute has sex on the streets of Agegunle and the probably that you will catch aids in the first week is 80-10. They will line up to do this to u day and night, and no will help you.
Your only hope is to be strong and dangerous or you will never be the same again.

Listen to my words, pls, I'm an author who does a lot of research before embarking on any work. if you have read any of my books here on Nairaland you will know this. Your question happens to fall into the category of 1 of my upcoming novels so I've looked and talked to lots of knowledgable people.

I wish you luck my friend. You need it.

jieta:
after them don tear ur yansh finish when u come outside na u go dey tear people yansh.

hahahhahahahahahhahah

soberdrunk:
1)Bros as you enter, the first person way you see just grab am bite hin ear "chew am swallow"!! Swallow am ooo! You don first establish say you nor dey okay so that respect don dey!

2) Dey follow urself talk to keep up with the act, just dey say rubbish even if nah tupac song way you dey rap backwards

3) Always be on the offensive, dey attack people randomly.......

4) Don't ever show any sign of "Fear"

5)If you cannot do 1-4 make sure you have a huge sum of money to settle Warder for "vip" treatment or else wetin ur eye go see for jail.........

Bros, you bad! See prison OT.. Lwkm

Hello Mrfixitxtech, You sound reasonable unlike others that joke over everything not minding the fact that the OP can really be in a bad position .
I would love you to explain something to me, DO they really have sex forcefully with new inmates?

TONYE001:
Thanks to the OP for this thread. Na me need am pass...lolz..

I have a project (novel) I hope to start this year. I need this info (Nigerian prisons..not foreign prisons) to build my main character...as a matter of fact, I was considering (still considering) coming up with a plan with the Nigerian Prisons Service..so that I can spend about a week behind bars...in jail..I'd love to have a first-person experience...

If only I knew someone that has been to jail before!

I am an ex-convict. 3 yrs in kirikiri no be beans. Come make we talk

Topmostt:
Hello Mrfixitxtech, You sound reasonable unlike others that joke over everything not minding the fact that the OP can really be in a bad position .
I would love you to explain something to me, DO they really have sex forcefully with new inmates?

There is nothing Like homosexuality in prison. If caught only God know if the individual will survive the beating.. we aren't even allow to wall around naked even we areally all men. It against the rules.. every cell block as rules. Out of 2953 inmates only 100 plus are convicted the rest are remanded. You can imagine 95 people in one cell. It hell.

Topmostt:
Hello Mrfixitxtech, You sound reasonable unlike others that joke over everything not minding the fact that the OP can really be in a bad position .
I would love you to explain something to me, DO they really have sex forcefully with new inmates?

yes now. Body no be wood. If you fit settle the wardens dem fit arrange olosho for you from outside or bring in your wife or girl friend for you to fok

Funjosh:
Let me call some notorious prisoners, BABANGBALI, IYANGBALI and notoriousbabe your advice are highly needed at this crucial time

I am proud to be one.

puffynana:
Don't claim wrongfully accused in the prison. It will just show how weak u are. The more grievous ur offense, the more respect.

Hahahaha.....bros

Informative thread

Benita27:
Lol.
Is like you're a comedian?.

no, he is not a comedian, he is a pussysmarsher