ifyalways:

Well, you can plead with him to move out seeing as you now disgust him. If he ever loved you and is humane enough, he should do that atleast for you but if he refuses, tough luck, try to co-exist as a room mate with him and please NEVER give him the cookie jar again.

Maaamaaa:


I also heard there is no maternity leave for women that are not married where I work.

carammel:
Pardon me,I will be a bit harsh.

You brought it upon yourself,you are a homebreaker and husband snatcher,you knew he was in a relationship and yet open your legs for him to the extent that you moved in with him,most men these days enjoy free chao and won't hesitate to grab the opportunity.

You are only being selfish by considering yourself alone,how about the woman he has been with before,she will surely be hurt too.

You can just move on with your life and take responsibility for the baby alone,allow him marry whoever he wants or force yourself to marry him and live an unhappy life. The ball is in your court.

KHbaby:
My lady, my candid advice to you is to call off the wedding, because the man you want to get married to has no love for you. It is better for you to endure the shame of having a baby out of wedlock now, than to endure unhappiness in your matrimonial home, which may eventually leads to divorce. My opinion though.

Maaamaaa:


Thank you Ma. He can't move out because he has no where to go and he is broke. It's a two bedroom apartment and we have separate rooms.

Should I stop cooking? For both of us

MizMyColi:


What Shame Ma?

Is it that of what people will say?
Or will your company sack you because you didn't do marriage yet and you're pregnant?

If it is that of what people will say and how they will view you, I admit it is not easy but you have to hold your head high come what may.

You need to be strong. No matter the shame you feel, do not let it show. It is when they see you are ashamed that they will try to hurt you more, but if you form badoo/ode shi, they can only try.

Hope you don't have a close pal that knows all your secrets at work?
If you do, now would be the best time to cut off by limiting what you say. And if you must talk, apply wisdom.

Let the Child you are carrying be one of the focal points of your joy.

Stay away from people who remind you of the past and try to dump their negative energies on you.

Mistakes have been made, lessons learned (I believe).

Now, Move ON.

Maaamaaa:
I will try my best not be biased about our story and if you have any questions to ask please do.

I met him last year December precisely and we both work in the same office, we became best of friends but he was in a relationship (distant) and I was single.
We were really close because we both were new in town with no family around and then I fell in love with him and opened up about my feelings to him but he said he was in a relationship.

I was hurt but I held my head up and moved on. I started mingling with other male colleagues and then he became jealous and so I confronted him about it (still loved him) and u also told him to choose between us and he said he wants me. His decision was based on the fact that the other lady was far away, he thought she was promiscuous and she is an OND holder etc (I got to find out about this later).

We moved in together because of financial stress and talked about getting married next year... Late June this year I found out he had not broken up with the other lady, confronted him about it and he settled the issue.

I got pregnant July and he asked for an abortion, I insisted on keeping the baby with or without marriage.. He finally accepted to marry me and proceeded to tell my parents(he later said I forced him to that). He accused me of so many things and called me different names.

He traveled to his hometown and informed his parents about it all and met with the lady. On his return, he said the lady gives him peace and if I lose this pregnancy he will go back with her and that he loves her but he is just getting married to me because he respects my family and do not want to bring shame to me at work.

I cried, prayed and endured it all. Two weeks ago his family came for the introduction and the wedding has been fixed for December but I'm not happy.

I'm a shadow of myself, he feels disgusted by my presence and I can't say anything without him getting angry. I used to nag and quarrel a lot but I've stopped, even when I'm angry I just walk away.

He does not care about me and this pregnancy and if I tell him I'm sick or tired or anything, he will just say that I'm not the first to get pregnant and that it's when I push the baby he will take responsibility.

I have tried my best and I'm confused, last night I called him peacefully to ask him what I'm doing wrong but he said I'm disturbing him. I used to call his parents and my parents to intervene but he said I should stop that and I have stopped.

Please what can I do to save our relationship, it's not easy for me . this is not the man I fell in love with help me and please I need your advice because I am ready to do anything.

I want my child to have a normal family.

Truth is the mistake has already been made, as you can see he never wanted you for life, you have two options, raise your baby alone and decline to marry him. Or marry him and accept the fact he will forever blame you for trapping him with a baby. Right now his probably feeling hurt for his girlfriend you may not know how hurt she is but he feels her pain and hates you for it. The good news is it will pass and he will move on and love you again but it won't be easy for now and you have to endure alot from him. Don't bother telling him your no longer interested in the wedding because he will come begging. Be strong okay, who am I to judge you. You will smile again.

Acheron:
Maaamaaa,

The guy will come to his senses when that baby is finally born, trust me. For now, just stay healthy and try your best possible to be a good woman and wife to him.

I can bet it with anything that things will return to normalcy when the baby is here. That baby will draw you both together especially if the baby turns out to be a boy and a replica of him. I've seen this happen before.

That baby needs you to be strong right now. This shall pass.

Maaamaaa:
Thank you everybody for your sincere opinion. I believe I will move on with my child alone.

Please how do I overcome the shame at work because I can't quit now, I need the money.

Maaamaaa:


I also heard there is no maternity leave for women that are not married where I work.

Maaamaaa:


Thank you because this is indeed the hard truth.

Maaamaaa:


Thank you Ma. He can't move out because he has no where to go and he is broke. It's a two bedroom apartment and we have separate rooms.

Should I stop cooking? For both of us

Ishilove:
Hmmmm, aunty, this your story dey somehow o... He never loved you, obviously, but you were too blinded by 'love' to see all the warning signs. That he asked you to abort shows he never had you in his long term plans.

Fact is, you pushed yourself on him and being a man, he saw the opportunity for free punny. Now the novelty of the said free punny has worn off and coupled with it, the said punny is pregnant for him, so he is feeling stifled and thus resents you for making him do all things he doesn't want to do.

He wants to marry you out of pity, which is why he said he doesn't want to bring shame to you and your family.

Sister, you are on your own. Better wake up seriously because deep down, you know the truth. Love, they say, is blind but na inside marriage eye dey clear. You are seeing all the signs but you still want to go ahead to marry, because you want to bear 'Mrs', or you want your child to have a normal family as you claim. Sister, you want your child to grow up seeing you unhappy because his or her daddy doesn't love mummy?

Sister, I repeat, You Are On Your Own.