Irishrena1:
Maaamaa please go ahead with the marriage. All the plans have been made. Don't deny this child the opportunity of having a complete home. The guy is as guilty as you but is throwing all the blames on you. He could have rejected your offer or not let you get pregnant. I believe with time nature will play its role and make things between you both bearable

rosalieene:
Tomorrow now, alotta guys would say, if you love him, make the move and tell him your feelings.... this is 21st century...
ladies never chase a guy, I repeat never chase a guy. If you love a guy, allow him to come to you instead to prevent insult to your personality. Most guys like taking advantage of ladies that like them.

Dyt:

Onegai could see from afar You want encouragement Pls listen to your parents We on this faceless forum can't advice you better So stick with him
And congrats on your wedding Pls do provide us with pictures
Stay blessed

Maaamaaa:
He said he loves me somehow and that I'm a wife material but I'm demanding so much attention.

He said I talk a lot and he does not like talking (gisting) that he likes being alone.

He said he does not care about the pregnancy because he does not know anything about it and he feels since women do it almost everyday, it's not so difficult.

He said I cry a lot and crying irritates him.


I still don't understand all these and I feel so sad and unhappy.

Maaamaaa:
I will try my best not be biased about our story and if you have any questions to ask please do.

I met him last year December precisely and we both work in the same office, we became best of friends but he was in a relationship (distant) and I was single.
We were really close because we both were new in town with no family around and then I fell in love with him and opened up about my feelings to him but he said he was in a relationship.

I was hurt but I held my head up and moved on. I started mingling with other male colleagues and then he became jealous and so I confronted him about it (still loved him) and u also told him to choose between us and he said he wants me. His decision was based on the fact that the other lady was far away, he thought she was promiscuous and she is an OND holder etc (I got to find out about this later).

We moved in together because of financial stress and talked about getting married next year... Late June this year I found out he had not broken up with the other lady, confronted him about it and he settled the issue.

I got pregnant July and he asked for an abortion, I insisted on keeping the baby with or without marriage.. He finally accepted to marry me and proceeded to tell my parents(he later said I forced him to that). He accused me of so many things and called me different names.

He traveled to his hometown and informed his parents about it all and met with the lady. On his return, he said the lady gives him peace and if I lose this pregnancy he will go back with her and that he loves her but he is just getting married to me because he respects my family and do not want to bring shame to me at work.

I cried, prayed and endured it all. Two weeks ago his family came for the introduction and the wedding has been fixed for December but I'm not happy.

I'm a shadow of myself, he feels disgusted by my presence and I can't say anything without him getting angry. I used to nag and quarrel a lot but I've stopped, even when I'm angry I just walk away.

He does not care about me and this pregnancy and if I tell him I'm sick or tired or anything, he will just say that I'm not the first to get pregnant and that it's when I push the baby he will take responsibility.

I have tried my best and I'm confused, last night I called him peacefully to ask him what I'm doing wrong but he said I'm disturbing him. I used to call his parents and my parents to intervene but he said I should stop that and I have stopped.

Please what can I do to save our relationship, it's not easy for me . this is not the man I fell in love with help me and please I need your advice because I am ready to do anything.

I want my child to have a normal family.

ItsQuinn:
Don't get married to him anymore and move on with your life. Try and be independent for your sake and your child sake. If you do all these things I just stated, trust me you would be happier but if you marry someone that doesn't love and respect you, your whole marriage life would be hell....and you would be sad and depressed for the rest of your life, you won't have peace and happiness. So it's up for you to choose..... Nobody can make you happy, only you can make you happy

Mimzyy:
Excuse me ma, you guys want to obtain a loan to have your wedding?
Is that not a grave mistake?
What happens after the wedding when the multitudes that you have fed leave you to your fate?
What happens to the innocent unborn?
Any plans on getting your baby's stuffs? Shouldn't that be of topmost priority now?
Can't you pend the wedding?

Maaamaaa, please you guys need to set your priorities. How on earth is he even going to payback? It's going to put a further strain on the relationship when it's payback time and He's unable to make ends meet. As it is, it's already difficult to sustain you both. Well, the ball is in your court. We can only but proffer advice , it's up to you to make a final decision. All the best.

Maaamaaa:
I will try my best not be biased about our story and if you have any questions to ask please do.

I met him last year December precisely and we both work in the same office, we became best of friends but he was in a relationship (distant) and I was single.
We were really close because we both were new in town with no family around and then I fell in love with him and opened up about my feelings to him but he said he was in a relationship.

I was hurt but I held my head up and moved on. I started mingling with other male colleagues and then he became jealous and so I confronted him about it (still loved him) and u also told him to choose between us and he said he wants me. His decision was based on the fact that the other lady was far away, he thought she was promiscuous and she is an OND holder etc (I got to find out about this later).

We moved in together because of financial stress and talked about getting married next year... Late June this year I found out he had not broken up with the other lady, confronted him about it and he settled the issue.

I got pregnant July and he asked for an abortion, I insisted on keeping the baby with or without marriage.. He finally accepted to marry me and proceeded to tell my parents(he later said I forced him to that). He accused me of so many things and called me different names.

He traveled to his hometown and informed his parents about it all and met with the lady. On his return, he said the lady gives him peace and if I lose this pregnancy he will go back with her and that he loves her but he is just getting married to me because he respects my family and do not want to bring shame to me at work.

I cried, prayed and endured it all. Two weeks ago his family came for the introduction and the wedding has been fixed for December but I'm not happy.

I'm a shadow of myself, he feels disgusted by my presence and I can't say anything without him getting angry. I used to nag and quarrel a lot but I've stopped, even when I'm angry I just walk away.

He does not care about me and this pregnancy and if I tell him I'm sick or tired or anything, he will just say that I'm not the first to get pregnant and that it's when I push the baby he will take responsibility.

I have tried my best and I'm confused, last night I called him peacefully to ask him what I'm doing wrong but he said I'm disturbing him. I used to call his parents and my parents to intervene but he said I should stop that and I have stopped.

Please what can I do to save our relationship, it's not easy for me . this is not the man I fell in love with help me and please I need your advice because I am ready to do anything.

I want my child to have a normal family.

Zceesneh:
u are not ready to do anything, trust me is all in ur head, lemme propose to you will u marry me with ur baby? U did nothing bad buh u should have protection anywhere u deserve nothing buh happiness and love, take things easy

QuietHammer:

Wow. A reasonable comment from you today

Maaamaaa:


I made to leave then when I found out but he begged me to stay. Although he said he did that because he could not afford his rent back then.

Maaamaaa:
I have decided not to call it off myself but focus on me and my baby.

If by the end of this rent we've not sorted ourselves out, I'll move out and close this chapter forever.

And also work on my finances.

Thank you so much, chatting with you all made me stronger...

I'll definitely post pictures of my cute princess by may 2017.(i hope it's a girl)

Maaamaaa:


I want my child to have a normal family.

Maaamaaa:


I'm at uyo.

Thank you so much

carammel:
Pardon me,I will be a bit harsh.

You brought it upon yourself,you are a homebreaker and husband snatcher,you knew he was in a relationship and yet open your legs for him to the extent that you moved in with him,most men these days enjoy free chao and won't hesitate to grab the opportunity.

You are only being selfish by considering yourself alone,how about the woman he has been with before,she will surely be hurt too.

You can just move on with your life and take responsibility for the baby alone,allow him marry whoever he wants or force yourself to marry him and live an unhappy life. The ball is in your court.

ItsQuinn:
Thank you

Nma27:
Did u just ask d op to marry you?

Dyt:

Seal7 said

Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.

Maaamaaa:
Thank you everybody for your sincere opinion. I believe I will move on with my child alone.

Please how do I overcome the shame at work because I can't quit now, I need the money.

Dyt:


Everyone is with a past
It will pass by
They will only murmur it for some days

It's not easy but trust me you can try
You will actually end up being the best person ever you wanna be

Btw
Where's your location?