KillerPriest:

If we observe the thread of juvenile delinquency, we would find that most of the kids found wanting are usually kids whose parents are seen as the high-minded personalities of society, and who in raising their kids, had believed that shielding them from the impurities of the world would bestow upon them a halo of sainthood.

But alas! It proved largely counterproductive as it only gave the child the necessity to fan up stratagems in order to evade punishments.

Take away a child's freedom and you turn him into a liar: because he would defy your instruction by visiting his friend, and on returning home, he would be compelled to lie that he went to church or to the local library.

Dum vivimus vivamus.

The bold is false. If we have 100 juvenile deliquents, at least 80% of them would be from homes that lack supervision. In the US most of the crimes are committed bychildren from dysfunctional homes where the parent are not around to supervise their kids and leave them to the society to raise

Same as in Nigeria. Get 100 kids that are criminals and see the type of family they come from. As much as we all loved the fabled child of strict parents who became wayward, there are at least 10times more example from children from unsupervised backgrounds

KillerPriest:


We should also not forget that a man-woman is most inquisitive as a child. A child always wants to know; he-she wants to know the color of the wind, and what gives rainbows their colour, and why birds can fly, and why the sky is blue, and a bushel of inquiries that we adults would consider silly and trifling.

An attempt to fetter the inquisitiveness of a child inadvertently takes a heavy toll on his-her mental outlook as an adult.

To paraphrase John Locke: ‘The human mind is first of all a tabula rasa, a clean slate of innocence; whatever is impressed upon a person in childhood is what endures into adulthood.

When a child is bred and brooded with the mindset that the world is a haunted room full of steel traps which one must not advance towards in order to be on the safe side, then such a child would likely not approach life with a venturesome spirit, but would rather choose to be content with the servings of life's buffet, and that as we know is unhealthiest of all philosophies.



Yet people wonder why a young man like myself is obsessed and constantly diddling with the idea of having a child of his own.

Children are metaphors for the good side of humanity: hope, care, humility, love, playfulness, tenderness. They are reminders that even though we are inherently evil, we are also inherently good.

Even a baby Adolf Hitler still symbolises that inherent good of humanity.



Good question. I would rather have both but if I only had one option to choose from, then I would pick happiness over ingenuity for my child.

I don't know if this saying is apt for the occasion:

“The most uninformed mind in a healthy body is happier than the wisest valetudinarian”.

Those were the timeless words of Thomas Jefferson.

We could also say that the most uninformed child with a happy and unencumbered spirit is better off than a whizkid with a soul honeycombed with grief -- grief wrought by the quantification metrics of the adults around him-her which have and still are clipping the wings of his-her childhood.



Exactly! Boredom and inactivity spurs creativity and imagination.

When people say they are bored, I envy them greatly because it only means that they have the time to think and create. A bored child or adult is raw genius waiting to explode.



Dangotesmummy must be a wise woman.

If we observe the thread of juvenile delinquency, we would find that most of the kids found wanting are usually kids whose parents are seen as the high-minded personalities of society, and who in raising their kids, had believed that shielding them from the impurities of the world would bestow upon them a halo of sainthood.

But alas! It proved largely counterproductive as it only gave the child the necessity to fan up stratagems in order to evade punishments.

Take away a child's freedom and you turn him into a liar: because he would defy your instruction by visiting his friend, and on returning home, he would be compelled to lie that he went to church or to the local library.

Dum vivimus vivamus.

exactly. Look at lecturers children, pastor's children, evangelists children. Many of them are good actors WHEN they're around their parents. Wait make them marry or go for nysc.ayayayaya

You go dey wonder shey na pastor born this one.but for some reasons like looking like a perfect parent outwardly you will see lecturers begin to become overbearing with their kids till the kids leave the house and then they become the exact opposite of what you were trying to instill in them

For example Davidos mother was a lecturer and a rigid seventh Day Adventist member
she wanted to mould David to an s.u kind of boy.that his only life will be church and school. She caged that boy so much till he ran out of the house. He was sleeping IN musicians studios about.

The mother wanted him to be a regular church boy,go to school and live an average life like anyone else but he was intrested IN music

So anyway he kept practicing till he released his first album and then boom every one knows Davidoff today.

The mother is late now but if you were opportuned to see the mother she's no different from the typical deeper life mothers.if she were to be alive and she sees all the tattoos and ear/nose piercings she will collapse because David is a complete opposite OF his mother's ideals an belief system. Though they look alike facially but his life is very different from what his mother wanted him to live.David is a very good example of caging a child to frustration and almost at the brink of killing his inner potentials because she's a church deacon and wants to appear as a perfect mother

raumdeuter:


And you think this is not borne out of experience or past misbehavior by some? This post I quoted was followed by two female posters who also said the same thing they will police their kids.

The world outside is bad, Until the child is old enough to handle it . No child under 10 should play anywhere unsupervised, Under 15 needs partial supervision, If you object to those partial supervision then you lose your right to even play at all. Until you are close to adulthood and realize the dangers around and how to protect yourself before you are granted full right

If the options are No protection or Overprotection I will chose to over protect mine

You are using Michael Jackson as an example, Would he not be better than the 13yr old who due to lack of supervision joined gangs in SOuth Chicago and was killed?

Since you used the extreme of Michael Jackson, I will tell you point blank that I will rather have a child grow up to be Michael Jackson than grow up to be a teenage gang member getting shot or jailed and ruined for the rest of his life

I will chose a socially awkward adult than one damaged by crime as a result of no protection

All those geeks and billionaires like Zuckerberg Bill Gates are socially awkward even as adults but way better than their agemates who started shooting up heroin as teenagers

I do not know where you live but I am definitely not going to police my children till the age of 10.

raumdeuter:



The bold is false. If we have 100 juvenile deliquents, at least 80% of them would be from homes that lack supervision. In the US most of the crimes are committed bychildren from dysfunctional homes where the parent are not around to supervise their kids and leave them to the society to raise

Same as in Nigeria. Get 100 kids that are criminals and see the type of family they come from. As much as we all loved the fabled child of strict parents who became wayward, there are at least 10times more example from children from unsupervised backgrounds

The term dysfunctional family does not only refer to families in which children are neglected or as many NLanders think to 'broken homes'.

Dysfunctional family:

- One or both parents have addictions or compulsions (e.g., drugs, alcohol, promiscuity, gambling, overworking, and/or overeating) that have strong influences on family members.

- One or both parents use the threat or application of physical violence as the primary means of control. Children may have to witness violence, may be forced to participate in punishing siblings, or may live in fear of explosive outbursts.

- One or both parents exploit the children and treat them as possessions whose primary purpose is to respond to the physical and/or emotional needs of adults (e.g., protecting a parent or cheering up one who is depressed).

- One or both parents are unable to provide, or threaten to withdraw, financial or basic physical care for their children. Similarly, one or both parents fail to provide their children with adequate emotional support.

- One or both parents exert a strong authoritarian control over the children. Often these families rigidly adhere to a particular belief (religious, political, financial, personal). Compliance with role expectations and with rules is expected without any flexibility.

https://www.brown.edu/campus-life/support/counseling-and-psychological-services/index.php?q=dysfunctional-family-relationships

In fact, it also refers to families where children are overprotected.

raumdeuter:

The bold is false. If we have 100 juvenile deliquents, at least 80% of them would be from homes that lack supervision.

Understand the message before drawing your gun out of its holster.

No one is condemning the supervision of a child -- definitely not me.
As a matter of fact, any parent who freewheels a lot in the raising of his-her child, or who doesn't supervise their actions is an irresponsible parent.

Oversupervision – or as OP put it – overprotectiveness, is the moot point here. And overprotection of a child only happens when a parent panders to his-her insecurities and fears...and this unwittingly leaves a dark carbon smudge on the child's psyche.

...

And your assertion is also wrong. How reckless it is to pontificate that most delinquents are products of dysfunctional homes. Did you factor in peer pressure? Happenstances? Or the fact the child was stubbornly opposed to the exhortations of his-her parents?

n the US most of the crimes are committed bychildren from dysfunctional homes where the parent are not around to supervise their kids and leave them to the society to raise

Same as in Nigeria. Get 100 kids that are criminals and see the type of family they come from. As much as we all loved the fabled child of strict parents who became wayward, there are at least 10times more example from children from unsupervised backgrounds

Overprotectiveness is not the same as a parent showering his-her child/ward with love and affection.

You're muddling up the argument by equating overprotectiveness with modest parental supervision.

That most criminals – as you say – are from dysfunctional homes, does not mean they weren't ‘overprotected’ as a child. It only means their parents failed to imbibe moral values in them, or that they themselves decided to careen off the straight path that their parents had had them set upon.

Mindfulness:
I do not know where you live but I am definitely not going to police my children till the age of 10.

I live in the suburbs of a major city and I hear news of supposedly responsible men and women being child molesters.
And I think this is common anywhere in the world, several boys who were entrusted to people as good as "supposed priests" without their parent supervision all ended up being molested

Till the age of 10 my kids wont play without a trusted adult supervision close by.
They wont watch TV or read books unless I know the content,
They wont go visit friends unless I know who the parents are.
If their friends are from an unstable background where they can be exposed to dangerous adults, then they are not going

After 10, the rules will be relaxed slightly gradually as they show signs of awareness sense of responsibility

Mindfulness:


The term dysfunctional family does not only refer to families in which children are neglected or as many NLanders think to 'broken homes'.

Dysfunctional family:

- One or both parents have addictions or compulsions (e.g., drugs, alcohol, promiscuity, gambling, overworking, and/or overeating) that have strong influences on family members.

- One or both parents use the threat or application of physical violence as the primary means of control. Children may have to witness violence, may be forced to participate in punishing siblings, or may live in fear of explosive outbursts.

- One or both parents exploit the children and treat them as possessions whose primary purpose is to respond to the physical and/or emotional needs of adults (e.g., protecting a parent or cheering up one who is depressed).

- One or both parents are unable to provide, or threaten to withdraw, financial or basic physical care for their children. Similarly, one or both parents fail to provide their children with adequate emotional support.

- One or both parents exert a strong authoritarian control over the children. Often these families rigidly adhere to a particular belief (religious, political, financial, personal). Compliance with role expectations and with rules is expected without any flexibility.

https://www.brown.edu/campus-life/support/counseling-and-psychological-services/index.php?q=dysfunctional-family-relationships

In fact, it also refers to families where children are overprotected.

Dysfunctional in this case refer to the first 3-4 examples,

Single parent homes, where the living parent brings in multiple lovers into the house
Homes where the parents are drug users or live the children without supervision
Homes where physical abuse between spouse and to children are prevalent

Mindfulness:


The term dysfunctional family does not only refer to families in which children are neglected or as many NLanders think to 'broken homes'.

Dysfunctional family:

- One or both parents have addictions or compulsions (e.g., drugs, alcohol, promiscuity, gambling, overworking, and/or overeating) that have strong influences on family members.

- One or both parents use the threat or application of physical violence as the primary means of control. Children may have to witness violence, may be forced to participate in punishing siblings, or may live in fear of explosive outbursts.

- One or both parents exploit the children and treat them as possessions whose primary purpose is to respond to the physical and/or emotional needs of adults (e.g., protecting a parent or cheering up one who is depressed).

- One or both parents are unable to provide, or threaten to withdraw, financial or basic physical care for their children. Similarly, one or both parents fail to provide their children with adequate emotional support.

- One or both parents exert a strong authoritarian control over the children. Often these families rigidly adhere to a particular belief (religious, political, financial, personal). Compliance with role expectations and with rules is expected without any flexibility.

https://www.brown.edu/campus-life/support/counseling-and-psychological-services/index.php?q=dysfunctional-family-relationships

In fact, it also refers to families where children are overprotected.

the consequences of over protection of children are 2.it's either they become so mumuish that their mumuish behaviours borders more on im-becyli-c tendencies. They become so dense that people begin to take advantage of their stoopeedety or they become so rebellious and wayward that their lifestyle is always unconventional just IN a bid to get back at their parents or embarass their parents

KillerPriest:
Understand the message before drawing your gun out of its holster.

No one is condemning the supervision of a child -- definitely not me.
As a matter of fact, any parent who freewheels a lot in the raising of his-her child, or who doesn't supervise their actions is an irresponsible parent.

Oversupervision – or as OP put it – overprotectiveness, is the moot point here. And overprotection of a child only happens when a parent panders to his-her insecurities and fears...and this unwittingly leaves a dark carbon smudge on the child's psyche.

And your assertion is also wrong. How reckless it is to pontificate that most delinquents are products of dysfunctional homes. Did you factor in peer pressure? Happenstances? Or the fact the child was stubbornly opposed to the exhortations of his-her parents?

Overprotectiveness is not the same as a parent showering his-her child/ward with love and affection.

You're muddling up the argument by equating overprotectiveness with modest parental supervision.

That most criminals – as you say – are from dysfunctional homes, does not mean they weren't ‘overprotected’ as a child. It only means their parents failed to imbibe moral values in them, or that they themselves decided to careen off the straight path that their parents had had them set upon.

Love and affection is a totally different topic and some parent shower kids with love and affection yet still fail to protect them from the dangers inherent in the world

I still insist show a stat of 100 juvenile delinquent and I can assure you the overwhelming majority come from homes with lax protection vs homes that over protect

KillerPriest:

We should also not forget that a man-woman is most inquisitive as a child. A child always wants to know; he-she wants to know the color of the wind, and what gives rainbows their colour, and why birds can fly, and why the sky is blue, and a bushel of inquiries that we adults would consider silly and trifling.

An attempt to fetter the inquisitiveness of a child inadvertently takes a heavy toll on his-her mental outlook as an adult.

To paraphrase John Locke: ‘The human mind is first of all a tabula rasa, a clean slate of innocence; whatever is impressed upon a person in childhood is what endures into adulthood.

When a child is bred and brooded with the mindset that the world is a haunted room full of steel traps which one must not advance towards in order to be on the safe side, then such a child would likely not approach life with a venturesome spirit, but would rather choose to be content with the servings of life's buffet, and that as we know is unhealthiest of all philosophies.

I would disagree with John Locke but I agree with your last paragraph. I would not teach my children all this 'the world is so messed up' nonsense. I would rather kill myself if I thought of the world as messed up instead of bringing any kids into it. And every generation repeats the same nonsense. I will tell my kids what is better avoided and why but also emphasize all the opportunities life has to offer and let them explore new places so that they grow confident believing in themselves.

I will not tie them to a chair just because there are sockets in the house and they may experience an electric shock when sticking their fingers in but use baby socket protection and still have them move around the house freely. That's the difference between protection and overprotection.

Yet people wonder why a young man like myself is obsessed and constantly diddling with the idea of having a child of his own.

Children are metaphors for the good side of humanity: hope, care, humility, love, playfulness, tenderness. They are reminders that even though we are inherently evil, we are also inherently good.

Even a baby Adolf Hitler still symbolises that inherent good of humanity.

So true!

Good question. I would rather have both but if I only had one option to choose from, then I would pick happiness over ingenuity for my child.

I don't know if this saying is apt for the occasion:

“The most uninformed mind in a healthy body is happier than the wisest valetudinarian”.

Those were the timeless words of Thomas Jefferson.

We could also say that the most uninformed child with a happy and unencumbered spirit is better off than a whizkid with a soul honeycombed with grief -- grief wrought by the quantification metrics of the adults around him-her which have and still are clipping the wings of his-her childhood.

I do not believe that you can have the one but not the other but if I had to choose, I would go with happiness for sure.

Exactly! Boredom and inactivity spurs creativity and imagination.

When people say they are bored, I envy them greatly because it only means that they have the time to think and create. A bored child or adult is raw genius waiting to explode.

Beautifully said. It reminds of an article I read about idleness.

Dangotesmummy must be a wise woman.

If we observe the thread of juvenile delinquency, we would find that most of the kids found wanting are usually kids whose parents are seen as the high-minded personalities of society, and who in raising their kids, had believed that shielding them from the impurities of the world would bestow upon them a halo of sainthood.

But alas! It proved largely counterproductive as it only gave the child the necessity to fan up stratagems in order to evade punishments.

Take away a child's freedom and you turn him into a liar: because he would defy your instruction by visiting his friend, and on returning home, he would be compelled to lie that he went to church or to the local library.

Dum vivimus vivamus.

There seems to be a false notion of what the term dysfunctional family means. Most NLanders think it means child neglect and divorce. I have provided more examples and overprotection is one characteristic among many.

dangotesmummy:
the consequences of over protection of children are 2.it's either they become so mumuish that their mumuish behaviours borders more on im-becyli-c tendencies. They become so dense that people begin to take advantage of their stoopeedety or they become so rebellious and wayward that their lifestyle is always unconventional just IN a bid to get back at their parents or embarass their parents

Well said but rebellion is not always an act of revenge. It may be a way toward long denied freedom and later a habit.

raumdeuter:


Dysfunctional in this case refer to the first 3-4 examples,

Single parent homes, where the living parent brings in multiple lovers into the house
Homes where the parents are drug users or live the children without supervision
Homes where physical abuse between spouse and to children are prevalent

Believe whatever you want. Overprotective parents create dysfunctional families too. How could a person who believes that the world is messed up and yet decides to bring children forth into it be normal and have a normal family? It is insane. No offense.

dangotesmummy:
exactly. Look at lecturers children, pastor's children, evangelists children. Many of them are good actors WHEN they're around their parents. Wait make them marry or go for nysc.ayayayaya

You go dey wonder shey na pastor born this one.but for some reasons like looking like a perfect parent outwardly you will see lecturers begin to become overbearing with their kids till the kids leave the house and then they become the exact opposite of what you were trying to instill in them

For example Davidos mother was a lecturer and a rigid seventh Day Adventist member
she wanted to mould David to an s.u kind of boy.that his only life will be church and school. She caged that boy so much till he ran out of the house. He was sleeping IN musicians studios about.

The mother wanted him to be a regular church boy,go to school and live an average life like anyone else but he was intrested IN music

So anyway he kept practicing till he released his first album and then boom every one knows Davidoff today.

The mother is late now but if you were opportuned to see the mother she's no different from the typical deeper life mothers.if she were to be alive and she sees all the tattoos and ear/nose piercings she will collapse because David is a complete opposite OF his mother's ideals an belief system. Though they look alike facially but his life is very different from what his mother wanted him to live.David is a very good example of caging a child to frustration and almost at the brink of killing his inner potentials because she's a church deacon and wants to appear as a perfect mother

Na pastor daughter dey spread leg pass.

...

All you have said are generously tainted with the pixie dust of truth, and I make bold to say that fear is the primary cause of the over-protection of a child. Fear makes one paranoid.

Maybe a mother had been raped in her adolescence. Maybe a father had had to run through the gauntlet of an unsavoury experience in his youth.
So for fear that such evil might befall their children, they dot neurotically over them, and are blind to the fact that even though their intentions be noble, they tend to make liars and hypocrites out of their children – who like every other human being, would rebel once they feel that their freedom is threatened.

Fear is the thief of joy.

Mindfulness:


Why do their friends come to your house when your kids are not allowed to go to their house?

Because they refuse to stay in their house. If there parents don't allow aimless roaming about, then I won't have the headache of thinking of the best way to send them home after staying for 2hrs without their parent worrying about them.

toyeem:

Because they refuse to stay in their house. If there parents don't allow aimless roaming about, then I won't have the headache of thinking of the best way to send them home after staying for 2hrs without their parent worrying about them.

Poor children.

Mindfulness:


Well said but rebellion is not always an act of revenge. It may be a way toward long denied freedom and later a habit.

exactly. Because many of this American rappers and entertainers are from rigid Christian homes,some of them are products OF strict and tough single mother parenting but when they get out

Look at Britney spears,chamillionaire,pink,nas and some other reality stars I can't remember their names.they are from strict Christian and Muslim homes. Pornography stars inclusive

I was watching flavour nabaniyas documentary some time ago he too was from a strict religious home.the mother forced him to join choir at a young age.see him twisting grinding and stripping himself everywhere

KillerPriest:


Na pastor daughter dey spread leg pass.

...

All you have said are generously tainted with the pixie dust of truth, and I make bold to say that fear is the primary cause of the over-protection of a child. Fear makes one paranoid.

Maybe a mother had been raped in her adolescence. Maybe a father had had to run through the gauntlet of an unsavoury experience in his youth.
So for fear that such evil might befall their children, they dot neurotically over them, and are unblind to the fact that even though their intentions be noble, they tend to make liars and hypocrites out of their children – who like every other human being, would rebel once they feel that their freedom is threatened.

Fear is thief of joy.

Maybe the father disvirgin -ed many girls and left them heartbroken and maybe he impregnated some and had them have abortions. Guilty conscience can haunt people for ages.

And Love is the child of freedom. Better context?

dangotesmummy:
exactly. Because many of this American rappers and entertainers are from rigid Christian homes,some of them are products OF strict and tough single mother parenting but when they get out

Look at Britney spears,chamillionaire,pink,nas and some other reality stars I can't remember their names.they are from strict Christian and Muslim homes. Pornography stars inclusive

I was watching flavour nabaniyas documentary some time ago he too was from a strict religious home.the mother forced him to join choir at a young age.see him twisting grinding and stripping himself everywhere

How do you know so much about celebrities?

KillerPriest:


Na pastor daughter dey spread leg pass.

...

All you have said are generously tainted with the pixie dust of truth, and I make bold to say that fear is the primary cause of the over-protection of a child. Fear makes one paranoid.

Maybe a mother had been raped in her adolescence. Maybe a father had had to run through the gauntlet of an unsavoury experience in his youth.
So for fear that such evil might befall their children, they dot neurotically over them, and are unblind to the fact that even though their intentions be noble, they tend to make liars and hypocrites out of their children – who like every other human being, would rebel once they feel that their freedom is threatened.

Fear is thief of joy.

children who aren't overprotected on the other hand tend to be well balanced.they don't over do or underdo things because they are not trying to prove any point to anyone

Only children, pastors children, professors children,last borns are usually victims of this over protection and they become wild or dence. The rest live ordinary robot like lives.e.g doing things to please their parents OR society

Mindfulness:


How do you know so much about celebrities?

because I enjoy watching E!,trace tv,mtv and other music stations

dangotesmummy:
because I enjoy watching E!,trace tv,mtv and other music stations

But if overprotection made NAS and Pink then it is a good thing.

Mindfulness:


But if overprotection made NAS and Pink then it is a good thing.

do you see the kinds of clothes pink wears?

She has a little bit of lady gaga and derenle craze in her

As for nasiru aka nas. I give up

Mindfulness:
Believe whatever you want. Overprotective parents create dysfunctional families too. How could a person who believes that the world is messed up and yet decides to bring children forth into it be normal and have a normal family? It is insane. No offense.

Overprotection creates dysfunction not at a level close to underprotection

The truth is that the world is messed up, there are many people out there willing to cause harm to the next person denying it is just burying the head in the sand. Leave a vulnerable teenager out there for a week and they would have been exposed to dangerous situation multiple times

There is a reason why in Nigeria most people try to get indoors before a certain time, There is a reason why in advanced countriesthere is a reason for Police patrol at every time of the day

Mindfulness:

I would disagree with John Locke but I agree with your last paragraph. I would not teach my children all this 'the world is so messed up' nonsense. I would rather kill myself if I thought of the world as messed up instead of bringing any kids into it. And every generation repeats the same nonsense. I will tell my kids what is better avoided and why but also emphasize all the opportunities life has to offer and let them explore new places so that they grow confident believing in themselves.

If I may ask, why do you disagree with Locke's theory? Are you of the opinion that we are born with ideas of good and bad already imprinted in our minds?

I will not tie them to a chair just because there are sockets in the house and they may experience an electric shock when sticking their fingers in but use baby socket protection and still have them move around the house freely. That's the difference between protection and overprotection.

So true!

I do not believe that you can have the one but not the other but if I had to choose, I would go with happiness for sure.

Beautifully said. It reminds of an article I read about idleness.

I knew where you had read it from which was why I specifically emboldened that part of your post.
I have a quasi-photographic memory, remember?
Maria Popo...va. . I have also read the article.

There seems to be a false notion of what the term dysfunctional family means. Most NLanders think it means child neglect and divorce. I have provided more examples and overprotection is one characteristic among many.

Yes, I agree. Overprotection is also symptomatic of a dysfunctional home. It's almost similar to possessiveness in a boy-girl relationship, don't you think?

raumdeuter:


Overprotection creates dysfunction not at a level close to underprotection

The truth is that the world is messed up, there are many people out there willing to cause harm to the next person denying it is just burying the head in the sand. Leave a vulnerable teenager out there for a week and they would have been exposed to dangerous situation multiple times

There is a reason why in Nigeria most people try to get indoors before a certain time, There is a reason why in advanced countriesthere is a reason for Police patrol at every time of the day

people get home asap in Nigeria because we don't have security in Nigeria. We are as good as we don't have any police in Nigeria so if anyone walks around at 11.38 pm and he becomes a victim of criminals or ritualists. Oyo is his case.in advanced countries on the other hand they have good security system

BY the way when will a child not leave home eventually. If he's of age won't he leave his mother's nest and go and search for a job,won't he interact with people? Won't he get married

KillerPriest:


If I may ask, why do you disagree with Locke's theory? Are you of the opinion that we are born with ideas of good and bad already imprinted in our minds?

No but children are born with different dispositions. Some are more timid than others, as an example. All babies are not equal so they cannot be a tabula rasa.

I knew where you had read it from which was why I specifically emboldened that part of your post.
I have a quasi-photographic memory, remember?
Maria Popo...va. . I have also read the article.

Yes, I agree. Overprotection is also symptomatic of a dysfunctional home. It's almost similar to possessiveness in a boy-girl relationship, don't you think?

Yeah, same symptom of fear and insecurity. Taken to an institutional level, it is called marriage, ha ha ha.

dangotesmummy:
the consequences of over protection of children are 2.it's either they become so mumuish that their mumuish behaviours borders more on im-becyli-c tendencies. They become so dense that people begin to take advantage of their stoopeedety or they become so rebellious and wayward that their lifestyle is always unconventional just IN a bid to get back at their parents or embarass their parents

Lol. My parents were overprotective, I mean the highest form of it and we didn't turn out mumuish or wayward. The overprotectiveness helped us a lot, especially the girls. No visit from male friends till you get to the uni.When I was in the uni, my father had this act of coming around on sat morning, I would just laugh and tell him daddy I'm a big girl now ooo. Now if you see us talking, you won't believe it was the same strict man of yesterday. Protecting your damsels is just for some years, not forever.

raumdeuter:


Overprotection creates dysfunction not at a level close to underprotection

The truth is that the world is messed up, there are many people out there willing to cause harm to the next person denying it is just burying the head in the sand. Leave a vulnerable teenager out there for a week and they would have been exposed to dangerous situation multiple times

There is a reason why in Nigeria most people try to get indoors before a certain time, There is a reason why in advanced countriesthere is a reason for Police patrol at every time of the day

Like I said, I am not against protection. Overprotection, however, is bad and so is neglect.

My world is not messed up at all because I count my blessings every day and love life. If you choose to emphasize all the evil and wrongdoings, that's your business. I won't join you in this unhappy state. I have been there and didn't like it.

dangotesmummy:
do you see the kinds of clothes pink wears?

She has a little bit of lady gaga and derenle craze in her

As for nasiru aka nas. I give up

She can run around na.ked for all I care. I love good music and Nas and Pink have released some pretty good albums. How they choose to live their lives, is none of my business.

dangotesmummy:
people get home asap in Nigeria because we don't have security in Nigeria. We are as good as we don't have any police in Nigeria so if anyone walks around at 11.38 pm and he becomes a victim of criminals or ritualists. Oyo is his case.in advanced countries on the other hand they have good security system

BY the way when will a child not leave home eventually. If he's of age won't he leave his mother's nest and go and search for a job,won't he interact with people? Won't he get married

Are these ritualist and criminals people running from not in the society? People dont have a tag on their head to know who is who. The person sitting next to you in public bus might even be one.

In advanced countries there are still crime and a lot of them too
Do you know how many cases of child molesters are in America, Do you know how many cases of serial killers, Do you know how many pimpss are kidnapping girls for prostitution Go to any walmart around you will see at least 50pictures of missing children. These are in the same America

A child needs to grow up and be gradually exposed to the society when they have enough sense and awareness of danger around them. Before 10 they can only play or go out with supervision. 10-15 reduce the supervision but whenever they misuse it take back the privilege

For every Pink or choir child who turned bad think of the millions of children from unprotected homes who fill prisons all over the world or girls who have been kidnapped for prostitution

Not to even talk of the million killed by gang violence. On one July 4 holiday weekend over 100 black youths most under 18yrs were killed in gang violence one weekend in Chicago Alone. Think about that. Chicago has a Population of less than 3million, Lagos State has a population of close to 20M

In some cities in America there are more youths killed than in Iraq warfront

toyeem:


Lol. My parents were overprotective, I mean the highest form of it and we didn't turn out mumuish or wayward. The overprotectiveness helped us a lot, especially the girls. No visit from male friends till you get to the uni.When I was in the uni, my father had this act of coming around on sat morning, I would just laugh and tell him daddy I'm a big girl now ooo. Now if you see us talking, you won't believe it was the same strict man of yesterday. Protecting your damsels is just for some years, not forever.

that's why if you read my earlier post you will see that you're one of the few exemptions that are living An average my father said we should always go to church kind of life

toyeem:


Lol. My parents were overprotective, I mean the highest form of it and we didn't turn out mumuish or wayward. The overprotectiveness helped us a lot, especially the girls. No visit from male friends till you get to the uni.When I was in the uni, my father had this act of coming around on sat morning, I would just laugh and tell him daddy I'm a big girl now ooo. Now if you see us talking, you won't believe it was the same strict man of yesterday. Protecting your damsels is just for some years, not forever.

Now compare your over protective family to families where there was no protection at all where you can go out and come in anytme they wanted. How many of such children even manage to get into University sef.

Given the option of over protection and no protection, I will over protect anyday.